I have felt that feeling on several occasions before but they always weren't with someone I dated or if I did, it didn't last (too young or whatever).

The woman I did marry, started out as a casual relationship as I didn't think it would last very long. But she knew right away she wanted to marry me. After 2 yrs of dating (and living together) the relationship and feelings grew and I proposed to her. We married the next year and after another 3 years her love faded and she solely wanted to focus on her career, didn't want to try to have kids anymore, and we ultimately amicably split.

Then I felt that instant connection with someone new, but once again, they weren't into me. So nothing happened.

My life has been completely out of sync with everyone and the rest of the world, it seems.

Not finding these hard to decide at all...

1. Partner cheating on me with friend - they are no longer my partner nor my friend. For a true partner and true friend would never do that to me. I wish them all the happiness in the world.

2. Deciding between biological and adoptive mothers - too many extenuating circumstances surrounding this as it is not detailed enough.
a. If it's a "hospital," there would be support staff to help triage both patients at the same time and you could manage to save both.
b. If it's a rural "clinic" where there is truly only 1 doctor and no support staff for miles - then being the doctor, you are bound to the Hippocratic oath and must do all you can to save both.
c. If you TRULY cannot save both and a judgment call has to be made, triage policies dictate you help the one that has the most chance of survival. And if you cannot separate your emotions from the situation, then only you can decide what consequences you can live with afterwards.
d. Personally, I would exhaust all options to save both. If it truly came down to saving one or the other, I would rather save the woman who loved and raised me (step-mom).

3. I'm dying and someone offers to save me if they can have my soul - easy... I die. My soul is not mine to give - the woman whom I love with all my heart owns my soul. And if I am single, then I still die. My soul is not something to be traded or bartered - only freely given.

The heart doesn't need to know how someone looks to love them. But the mind and body does - that's part of attraction, chemistry, and is tied to our base natural urges.

We are not just a heart; we are not just a mind; not just a body - we are all of these things at once and ideally, we want to satisfy all parts of ourselves with one mate. So "looks" are tied to the whole and fulfilling love we are all searching for - or at least most of us are searching for.

Given that, I need a photo. If the person says they'll be happy to send one upon asking, that is one thing - but must who don't upload a photo do not do that - which is suspicious. Also, a photo will help tell if they are a scammer or not - fake photos or obviously stolen ones are key indicators they are.

Well said and same with me.

Friendship makes the relationship last longer. Passion alone will fade fast over a short time. Ideally, both friendship and passion can develop at the same time.

Thanks! But no one in particular inspired it. It's just been a long time since I've kissed anyone and I just imagined what it would be like to have that first kiss once again.

Music, nothing, or just ambient natural sounds (like windows open, camping in a tent, or whatever). No TV - if it happens to be on while we're in the mood and we don't stop to turn it off, then ok - but I don't consciously turn it on for sex.

Music can be an enhancement if it is a piece of music that your partner really likes and then you make love/have sex to the rhythm of the music - really good if the music has varying tempos, a clear building in emotion, and etc.

Time seems to stand still when I’m near you. Is it our fifth date? Maybe it’s our first. We had a wonderful time, but our date is winding down. I look into your eyes; searching; for what, I do not know; I’m just captivated by them; the enthralling portals that lead to your beautiful soul. There is a glimmer of something. What was it? Are they telling me you want to be kissed? I can’t tell; you are unsure yourself.

We idly chat as our date comes to a close; neither wanting the other to go; but unsure of where we want the night to end. I look over your face; study it. I become entranced with your beauty. Not just your physical beauty, but the beauty of the wonderful woman you are. I want to be near you; I need to be near you. I edge my body closer to yours as we continue our conversation.

I ever so slightly lean in to you; our faces become closer; but still seem a mile away. I look back into your eyes; they’re searching mine; wondering; anticipating; nervous as to what might happen next. Will I kiss you? It seems I might, but then again, maybe not. Do you even want to be kissed? Your heart does; your mind has not yet decided. Your eyes give you away. I go no further; I have not yet been invited.

It’s obvious our conversation is only there to draw out our parting. I lightly brush your hair with my fingers; maybe your bangs; maybe the sides as I gently tuck them behind your ear. I study the curve of your ear with my fingers; they gently fall down the side of your neck. I want to replace my fingers with my lips; but I don’t; I can’t; not yet.

My gaze follows my fingers back up your neck and across the line of your jaw. The backs of my fingers gently and slowly graze back across your cheek; I want to know how soft it is. It’s as I’ve imagined; so smooth; so silky. Your eyes close briefly; relishing the sensation. You wonder, is this the moment? Will our lips meet now? You open your eyes to find that no, it is not; you have not yet invited me.

Our forced conversation has finally ended. I have to feel your other cheek. Is it just as soft; just as smooth? I know it is, but I still have to explore. I use your hair once again as an excuse to touch you; gently combing and brushing it with my fingers to put it back in place even though it really was never out of place. On the way back, my fingertips lightly caresses your other cheek; then my thumb; then my palm. Your face gently turns to meet my hand. Your eyes close again.

Your head grows lighter as it turns even more into my hand; my heartbeat quickens. Your eyes open and look back at me; our eyes fixed; your body shifts; your chin rises slightly; your tongue lightly parts your lips to make sure they are moist; supple; ready for what’s to come. You’ve decided; you’ve made up your mind; or your heart has taken control.

I now know that you want to be kissed; need to be kissed; desire to be kissed. And I desperately want to kiss you; to feel your lips on mine; to taste your lips; your heart; your soul. Our faces draw closer. We continue to stare into each other’s eyes. But I will not kiss you yet. I want to savor this moment; savor the sight of you; the feel of you in my hands.

Our faces are mere inches apart. I trace your face with my fingers; both hands; around your eyes; your cheeks I want to study you; to know you. When I close my eyes, I want to still see every detail of your face.

Your eyes close. My thumb gently brushes over your upper lip. It’s soft; supple; moist. I bring my thumb back across your lower lip; I want to know, does it feel the same? Your desire to be kissed grows; so does mine. My face draws even closer to you. But I can’t give in yet; I don’t want this moment to end.

Look at this beautiful woman before me; her heart; her soul; her mind; her body. She is amazing. She humbles me; I am awed by her. This moment is surreal; but she is real. I am lucky to be here; I am honored she has let me be here. These brief moments are bliss; I never want them to end; I want to live here.

My lips draw closer to yours; hovering just above you. You can feel my breath on your lips. I take one last look; one last feel with my hands; I must make this last. We both can’t stand it any longer; we need to kiss; we must kiss; we have to kiss. And I can’t resist any longer; I am consumed; I am lost to the desire; I have to have your lips on mine; I must feel them on mine; I must taste them with mine.

They finally touch; our lips connect; a spark runs through our bodies; something electric; tingling us; exciting us. It ignites our emotions; our passions; our hearts, which are now racing. Our mouths part slightly. I take your lower lip between mine; lightly touch it with my tongue; trace it; feel it; taste it. Your tongue does the same to my upper lip. Our lips move over one another’s in unison; both hungry for more. Our tongues dance; play; explore. It is heaven; the sharing of our hearts; our souls; and our passion; they have mingled into one.

And this is only the beginning….

It's nice to say I'm naughty.

Sometimes I am, sometimes I am not, sometimes I am somewhere in between.

It's been nearly a decade, I *am* a virgin again.

Why I'm single.... let's see....

Despite the many tings wrong in my marriage that we could have worked through, it came out that she no longer wanted to have kids (to have or adopt) and that was a deal breaker for me. So we amicably split. That was 5 yrs ago.

I am still single because.... I'm not sure entirely. I can only speculate. I have several close female friends that are unsure why as well.

Online dating has taught me that at 5'7" I am too short for most women.
I am chubby now due to a recent thyroid condition.
I have always been average looking, so... avg looks, short, and chubby means I am usually overlooked??
All my close friends live out of the area/state so my social life is not as good as it could be.
I work from home so I'm also missing work-related socialization.
And being in your 40s and just trying to find someone to date and spend time with is horribly difficult.

Very true. Women are to be treasured and celebrated for their individual selves and not to be collected as possessions. Those men AND women who choose polygamy, it is fine - as they all are ok with it. But NO ONE should be forced into it against their will. Women are SO much more than a man can ever be. While it takes a man and a woman to make a life - it is a woman who truly gives it. No man can ever compete or compare the strength of a woman.

Because being tall and sweet is like winning the lottery - every woman wants you and they never let you go. Being tall and a d-bag... still runner up and most women will keep you even though the woman is treated like crap - and if they do let you go, you'll get picked up by another woman because of your height.

...us average to shorties are just dookie out of luck.

Experiences and challenges of online dating... ...have a couple hours?? :)

Been online dating for the last 5 yrs since my divorce (I wanted kids, she changed her mind, so we amicable split). I've had maybe 3 dates in that time. Obviously, none went beyond that as we were looking for other things or not really compatible. But seriously... 3 dates in 5 yrs?? And these were all initiated by her.

My entire life since jr high school - no girl or woman has ever said "yes" to me asking her out. I'm a very polite, caring, respectful, giving person and a bit shy - so I don't act like a d-bag when asking someone out, but I get "friend-zoned" quite easily - especially since I'm average looking. All relationships I've ever had have come from women knowing me from mutual activities where they see what a great guy I am. So then they ask me out. And it either works out for while or not.

I thought online dating might be easier for me as I can put up a profile and women can see how great of a guy I am. But it doesn't seem to be working in my favor at all. Being 5'7", I don't fit in the "tall" category that a lot of women want - they like their high heel shoe collection more than finding real love (I know not all women are like this, but this is one of the challenges I face). Online dating is like grocery shopping - you scan products and read label after label and while you may run across a great product that would really be great, you eliminate it because of some trivial stat (height, weight, hair, or whatever) and because you're overwhelmed by the volume of products out there.

I have tried pretty much every online dating site - paid and unpaid. This is one of the last sites I've tried. The hopeless romantic in me doesn't want to give up, but my realistic brain keeps reminding me of the definition of insanity - doing the same thing over and over again while expecting a different result every time.

Obviously, that person was not the right person to invest your heart, soul, and time in. It's sad and disappointing that someone would throw away everything you offered. But it seems the relationship was one-sided and you are probably better off without them.

I think we all want to be loved for who we are. And hopefully we all can find someone to love us in that way.

As for "internet love"... the internet is just a tool to help us connect to people we may not normally meet in out in the world. And hopefully, an emotional and real connection can be made that leads to love. And I think that can and does happen - but it can be difficult.

Unfortunately, the internet can also be a hindrance to love. It's SO easy to sit back eliminate the potential love of our life because we read a stat that they are taller or shorter, older or younger, heavier or skinnier, or whatever as compared to the "ideal match" we have concocted in our heads.

If we saw someone out in the world and see how they interact with others, we get more of a sense of who they are and we may be attracted to and eventually fall in love with someone who might fit all the parameters of that "idealized match" we have in our heads.

So we need to remember the internet is just an introduction tool and that real connections have to happen in the real world.

I have absolutely no idea.

Yes, I read profiles. Every word. Do they answer a bunch of questions (like on other sites) - then I read them all too. Whatever they put in their profile, I check it out. This is potentially my partner and I want to know everything they have to say. It helps get a sense of who they are and if we might be compatible. And it gives me something to go on when attempting to start a conversation.

For me, yes and no.

If I was in a good and strong relationship and then we were separated by distance - I would do everything possible to make it work. I'd move to her, and hopefully, she'd want to move to me.

But for a new and budding relationship - no way. There would have to be a quick resolution to the distance. I have to spend time with someone to truly get to know them before I will hand them my heart to keep. Actions do speak louder than words. And I want to *date* the person... not sit around and pine for them. I want to share life with them, not live my life with them not being there.

Nice! I have always wanted to do it in a dressing room somewhere.