CUTE!!!! Well done!!!

BACK AT YOU HUN!!!

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. 'Tie me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want.'

So he tied her up and went golfing.





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A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!'

The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'




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Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.



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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

'Can you read this?' the optician asked.

'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'




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Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,

'I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.'

'Thank God,' said an elderly nun at the back.. 'I'm so tired of chardonnay.'



**************************************************





A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.

'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!'


The wife stared at him. 'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?'




The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving.'

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Beautiful as you!!
Yoiu are a BLESSING to all...

Excellent write!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!
BRAVO,BRAVO!![/B
]

I can be Mickey
And you'd be Minnie
And whe can play
Mouse in the house!!!

Nice one !!!

Now that was awsume!!! Thank you Txs, I really loved it!!

Well done!!!

Me and my 2 daughters know this store all to well..

Love comes, love goes!
And when it's gone
Time to
Move on!!

Great write!!

Lives can be changed with crumbs!! Just as Jesus changed so meany lives with a couple loves of bread and some fish!!



I look at the five thousand before me
Hungry for more than bread and fish.
But hardheaded me,
I persist
To break bread
And give fish
And wait
And hope
That that would be enough.
I could not bake bigger loaves
And catch bigger fish
To feed
And fill.
But here I am
With my bread
And my fish
And my Hope.
Still.
Days and weeks and months
And years later,
I am amazed
To see bushel baskets
Filled to brimming.

The life you went through might of been tough, but it made you the person you are today!!! And that my friend is the true blessing!!

BRAVO!!!!

BEAUTIFUL WRITE!!

This is GREAT! Well done my friend!!

Deep thoughts and well eritten!!!

Good one my friend!!!

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed
to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.
As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told
us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the
big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays
up, that would be super.'

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather
Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle. 'Perhaps you didn't hear me over
those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main
man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'

She calmly turned her head and said,
'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.'

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied , without missing a beat,

'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
Tray-up, B*i*t*c*h*'

DITTO!!!!!
And maybe you should have that little talk with his wife!!