If 'dating' someone ruins your friendship...you're doing it wrong!

Consider:

When you actually meet someone, is it better to only talk or does 'doing something' add spice to the relationship?

From a choice perspective, isn't it better to know what someone can do over something they 'claim' to be able to do?

You can 'talk' about going camping and having an adventure (for example) or you can actually go camping with them and experience an actual adventure.

Keywords:

Moderation

Self-discipline

It also helps to choose things which challenge you in some way. If you favor one activity or interest only for instant gratification, once gratified you will lose interest.

Sometimes interest can be regained by choosing to look at it from a different perspective. A view which now challenges your expectations.
"Wow, I never saw it that way!"

You can be a 'disabled person' or you can be a 'person' who happens to be disabled.

Only if you live in constant fear of other people.
Most people want to be able to touch the ones they love. Get that UP CLOSE and PERSONAL comfort you can only get if you are actually near them.

Yes - if you look at it as reality
no - if you are delusional and believe fantasy is reality

does it now....
Perhaps in your life.

Bed means sleep to me.

Sex is wherever/whenever we want.
Certainly not in bed (unless passion takes over in our sleep, it has happened...) but I'd rather do it while I am awake and can enjoy it.

James Webb Telescope Captures Detailed Image of Uranus’ Rings
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/james-webb-telescope-captures-detailed-image-of-uranus-rings-180981953/

https://astronomy.com/~/media/6C900BD881D743EEB6C19F4650BEEF95.jpg

When Voyager 2 flew by, it saw Uranus’ south pole basking in a summer sun, and the northern pole, captured by Webb, was on the planet’s dark side. In the new image, Uranus’ right side is covered by a white spot called a polar cap, which seemingly appears in the summer and disappears in the fall.

Webb orbits the sun from a point one million miles from Earth, but it’s just in our backyard compared to some of its far-off targets—the high-tech telescope has observed exoplanets, dying stars and distant galaxies that are changing ideas about the early universe. The new image of Uranus, snapped during a 12-minute exposure on February 6, was taken when Earth was 1.83 billion miles from the ringed planet

A wider view of the image shows the six brightest of Uranus’ 27 moons with other galaxies looming in the distance.

People who focus on the negative.
People too delusional to see the reality before them.
Compulsive liars, especially those who think their lies are truth.
Bully mentality

Greenville PA
Famous for...Dying

Greenville was a steel industry town which was known for building train cars and forging steel parts for them.
at one time the high school wrestling team and football teams were state champions.

Greenville Steel Car Co (later, Trinity Industries)
Bessemer Maintenance Division
CB&I (Chicago Bridge and Iron)
Werner Ladders
Hodges Foundry

-ALL- the companies dried up and pulled out.
All the supporting businesses went belly up.
All the community activities dried up and closed.
(municipal pool, ice skating rink, theater, bowling alleys, roller rink etc...)
People left for greener grass.
Lots of old empty rundown houses and buildings ripe for riffraff and junkies.
Those who remained turned to alcohol, drugs or organized crime.

Last I was there was 2011 and tho the main street got a face lift the people were still broken.
I stayed about 14 months and left again. I will not go back.

'Should' is the key word here.
'Should', according to whom?
You?

The question Should women have many tats? implies you think it is your authority to dictate the behavior and beliefs of others.

To me, the real issue for discussion is your sense of grandeur which makes you believe others should bow down and submit to your expectations of them.
Not tattoos.

What's next?
Women should have long hair.
Women should wear nylons?
Women should walk behind you in public.
Women should know how to cook, do laundry, change diapers, make beds...etc

It also makes me think your controlling personality may not be limited to only women.
Perhaps you have a set of conditions for everyone in your life.

The sad thing is the fact you can't see how delusional it is to think you can control others. Make other people live up to your expectations.

The dating process is an internal preference hunt.
You seek the one who is within your preference range AS THE ARE. It makes no sense to look for anyone and try to remake them as you want them to be. What you get is a lie, an illusion.
If that person has so little self-respect that they are willing to be something they are not just so they can be with you it is at best, a temporary agreement. Its not fair to yourself and it certainly isn't fair to them.

In life, there are those who align with you and those who don't.
In dating (the mate selection process), once you find that one who aligns, you don't change them to fit better. You allow them to be themselves. After-all, its why you aligned with them in the first place.

...

In my experience 'couch surfing' has been limited to my children or friends visiting the area.
I know few people who open their homes to strangers. Think 'serial killer'.

What I have seen is called 'bed & breakfast' or 'air bed (airb&b)'.

In a way, couch surfing could be associated with hitchhiking. 'Hitchhiking' is getting a ride from a stranger by putting out your thumb or holding a sign while standing on a highway or street. Hitchhiking is illegal in many places due to the fact so many people have been raped or murdered or just plain vanish from doing so.
Its dangerous for the hitchhiker and the host because you never actually know the person...they could be anyone.
I imagine it could be pretty much the same for couch surfing.

While it may hold true so far that it is safe, its only going to be safe until it isn't and if you survive that I would suggest you use that fortunate wisdom to make better judgements.

Yes, if your focus for dating is having sex.
Experience trumps education everytime.

Sex education when I was in school was part of the biology sciences.
It involved physical attributes, basic conception and gestation.

When in high school and hormones were ruling most of us, sex ed class was included in social sciences.
It involved manners, hormonal effects in puberty, social intricacies of young adults and family values.
Many of us got 'The Talk' from our parents.
Sometimes they got it right.

College was an explosion of sexual experiences, both good and bad. You got to see what actually happens when your friend doesn't wear a condom and the turmoil it causes. The AIDS scare sent fear rampaging thru campus. Couples stayed together longer and moods went funky.

You don't find love.
Love doesn't find you.

Love is an emotional state with each of us.
Different people feel different levels of love for different people and things.

When you find someone to be in an intimate relationship with you actually find someone who effectively demonstrates the love they feel towards you.

That loving connection you feel is you recognizing their display of love towards you and them recognizing your display of love towards them.

Not only is it recognition, it is acceptance of their display as well.
You don't feel loving connection with someone who's display of love isn't in alignment with you.
If your display of love isn't in alignment with their acceptance of love, there is no connection as well.
This is why you can love someone with all your heart but they don't love you back.
It is also why another may love you but you feel nothing for them.

Its the demonstration of your feelings for love for each other which creates the loving feeling between you.
Not the actual emotional state.
That's inside, just like sadness, hatred, anger, joy and all the other complex inner emotional states you feel.

I can't figure out why people are so inclined to make something so simple, so complex and difficult?

Trust is delicate.
Trust is also finicky.
In order to have trust in another it is also important to be trustworthy yourself.

There are levels of trust.
You can trust someone with certain things but not trust them with other things.

Trust is built with honest communication and integrity.
Follwed by actions which support your declarations.
Words alone can't build deep trust.
If you say you are going to do something, make sure you do it.
If you claim to feel a certain way about something or someone, make sure you express that in your attitude, expression and actions.

You're talking about The Warriors (1979)?
or maybe The Warriors (2022) ~ miniseries?
or maybe The Warriors (1955)?
or maybe The Warriors (2017) ~ miniseries?
Or The Warriors (2005) video game?
or Warriors (1999) TV show?
or The Warriors new TV show being made now?

Super Science Fiction Televison Shows:
(not in order of importance)
To name a few...
Babylon 5
Battlestar Galactica
Lost In Space
Outer Limits
Primeval
Star Trek
Stargate
Twilight Zone
Altered Carbon
Continuum
Eureka
Falling Skies
Fringe
Nightflyers
Quantum Leap
Sliders
Surface
Terra Nova
The Expanse
The Last Ship
The Wild Wild West
Time Trax
Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea
Warehouse 13
X-Files
Foundation
The Orville

A violation of trust ruins the relationship.
To trust that person again depends as much on their sincerity as it does your empathy for them.

When someone violates your trust for them, the details sometimes matter but more often than not the violation was an act of deception and liars cannot be trusted.

What is important when considering re-trusting someone is how the trust was lost.
If it is a blatant disregard for you, it should be over. Learn the lesson and move on to a new someone you CAN trust.
If you merely suspect the violation, perhaps you should find out the reality before you call it a violation of trust. Fears and expectations often get in the way of the reality.

Choosing your relationships wisely, after examining their whole actual personality, decreases the likelihood of finding yourself in a relationship which has trust issues.

Its nearly impossible to be honest with someone you can't trust. Its nearly impossible to believe someone who has violated your trust.

The Green Berets
5.60 142 min
Col. Mike Kirby picks two teams of crack Green Berets for a mission in South Vietnam. First off is to build and control a camp that is trying to be taken by the enemy the second mission is to kidnap a North Vietnamese General.
Country: United States
Genre: Drama, War
Release: 1968-07-27
Director: N/A
Cast: John Wayne, David Janssen, Jim Hutton



The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean
6.90 120 min
In Vinegaroon, Texas, former outlaw Roy Bean appoints himself the judge for the region and dispenses his brand of justice as he sees fit.
Country: United States
Genre: Drama, Comedy, Romance, Western
Release: 1972-12-01
Director: John Huston
Production: First Artists
Cast: Jack Colvin, Ned Beatty, John Huston, Richard Farnsworth, Anthony Perkins, Paul Newman, Bill McKinney, Steve Kanaly, Neil Summers, Roy Jenson, Matt Clark, Victoria Principal, Tab Hunter, Francesca Jarvis, Gary Combs, Bennie E Dobbins, Dean Smith, Jim Burk, Terry Leonard, Stephanie Epper, Jeannie Epper, Fred Brookfield, Leroy Johnson, Fred Krone, Margo Epper, Barbara J Longo, Frank Soto, Karen Carr, Lee Meza, Dolores Clark



Cleopatra
7.00 192 min
Queen Cleopatra VII of Egypt experiences both triumph and tragedy as she attempts to resist the imperial ambitions of Rome.
Country: United States, United Kingdom, Switzerland
Genre: Drama, Romance, History, Biography
Release: 1963-06-12
Director: Joseph L. Mankiewicz
Production: Twentieth Century Fox, MCL Films SA, Walwa Films SA
Cast: Rex Harrison, Roddy McDowall, Francesca Annis, Hume Cronyn, Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, Martin Landau, Andrew Keir, Martin Benson, Michael Hordern, George Cole, Robert Stephens, Michael Gwynn, Carroll OConnor, John Hoyt, Cesare Danova, Douglas Wilmer, Grégoire Aslan, Kenneth Haigh, Marne Maitland, Herbert Berghof, Andrew Faulds, Pamela Brown, John Doucette, John Cairney, Isabel Cooley, Richard OSullivan, Gwen Watford, Jacqueline Chan, Elisabeth Welch



Jeremiah Johnson
7.60 108 min
A mountain man who wishes to live the life of a hermit becomes the unwilling object of a long vendetta by the Crow tribe and proves to be a match for their warriors in single combat on the early frontier.
Country: United States
Genre: Drama, Adventure, Western
Release: 1972-05-07
Director: Sydney Pollack
Production: Warner Bros
Cast: Robert Redford, Jack Colvin, Allyn Ann McLerie, Matt Clark, Paul Benedict, Joaquín Martínez, Stefan Gierasch, Will Geer, Charles Tyner, Richard Angarola, Josh Albee, Delle Bolton