LOL

good :) long week tho.... and it's onlt tues

lol.. good one ;)

kids will say anything LOL. I've worked in child care for the past 6 years and I've heard some funny things :)

all kids seem to have a hard time saying the word truck, well we had 1 kids who had his favorite dump truck. and another kid was using it well he ran over to him grabbed the truck and shouted give me that dum f*ck! lol I guess he had a hard time pronouncing his p's too. LOL

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse favoured cat food? There is fish flavoured!

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, which side would it fall on?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

What's another word for thesaurus?

Why do they sterilise the needles for lethal injections?

What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

When you choke a smurf, what colour does it turn?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar is not called a racist?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?

So what's the speed of dark?

Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

One day a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead snuck into a farm.
The farmer said to his wife, "I think I hear something outside."
The girls heard the door open,and they all ran in different directions.
The brunette ran into the cow pen. The redhead ran into the pig pen, and the blonde ran into the potato patch.
The farmer went to the cow pen and said,"Is there anyone there?" The brunette said,"Mmmmmmmoooooo."
Then he went over to the pig pen and the farmer said, "Is there anyone there?" and the redhead said, "Oink oink."
Then he went over to the potato patch and said, "Is there anyone there?" and the blonde said, "Potatooooo."

A little old lady went into the Bank of America one day carrying a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the President of the bank to open a savings account because it's a lot of money.

They finally get her into the president's office and he asks her how much she would like to deposit. She says she has $165,000 and then dumps it out of the bag onto his desk. The president was surprised and of course curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asks her. The old lady says, "I make bets."

The president replies, "Bets? What kind of bets?" and she says, "For example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square."

"Ha!" says the president, "That's a stupid bet, you can never win that kind of bet."

The old lady says, "So, would you like to take my bet?"

"Sure," says the president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!"

The little old lady says, "OK, but since there is a lot of money involved is it OK with you if I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 AM to witness?"

"Sure," says the president.

That night the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again, thoroughly checking them out until he was sure that there is no way his balls are square and that he will win the bet.

The next morning at 10 AM the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduces the lawyer to the president and repeats the bet, that $25,000 says the president's balls are square. The president agrees with the bet again and the old lady asks him to drop his pants so they can see. The president does this.

The little old lady looks closely at his balls and then asks if she can feel them.

"Well, OK" says the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I guess you should be absolutely sure."

Then he notices that the lawyer is quietly banging his head against the wall and he asks the old lady, "What is wrong with your lawyer?"

She replies, "Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that by 10 AM today I'd have The Bank of America's president's balls in my hands!"

and then there was the time he was riding his bike and came upstiars with a big cut in his cheek! after I cleaned him up I asked him what happend, he said the girl next door told him to close his eyes and she would guid him and he rode rite into the fence. when I asked him if he learned his lesson he said yup! NEVER TRUST A WOMAN! he kills me

a few years ago we were driving home from my sons base ball game and he asked my why it's ok to litter over there? I asked him what he was talking about and he said the sign said it was ok to litter but he didnt know why because its wrong to litter. I thought about it for a while and I asked him if the sign he saw said FINE for littering... LOL he said ya, so that means it ok to litter there? LMAO!!!!! so I had to explain what fine meant..... he's funny even when he's being seriouse.