I called a depression helpline yesterday and was greeted by the following automated message:

If you need help with alcohol problems, Press 1
If you need help with smoking problems, Press 2
If you need help with drug problems, Press Hash

As none of these helped me, I was feeling so suicidal I decided to swallow 1000 aspirins to kill myself.
But after I'd swallowed the first two, I felt better.

I was feeling very depressed after 9/11 and 7/7,so I called a suicide hotline.
They transferred me to a call center in Pakistan.
When I told them that I was feeling suicidal the operator became really excited and asked if I could get there soon and did I know how to drive a truck.

Julie and Ed a Love Story Part 13

Why thank-you Ed, that was sweet, and you know something,, I am feeling like myself again, haven't in a long time,,
And how does that feel Julie?
It feels good Ed, it really feels good,
Listen you guys, they're probably only playing one more set, after that my house,,,
Great, we can have a sleep over, ha ha
Well nobody is driving,, Just so you know,,
Ok Julie,, we know you love us,,
Hey we're going out for air, come on Dawn,,
Now Ed it's your turn,, Tell me about you,,
It's simple, just took a long time to realize,,,,,
Realize what Ed?
That my wife was not in love with me,,,
And how does that feel Ed,
It feels like it happened, because their is someone better for me, and I am real sure I have meet her, here, tonight,,,,
Good subject change Ed,,
Nothing to change Julie, its all about you,,,
Hmmm,, I like that Ed,,
Hey,, we're back..
The cowboy, and nostril guy are out there, we threw them a bone,,ha ha
Yea, those nostrils were flaring,, ha ha ,,,
Here Comes the band,,
Let's do these shot's and DANCE,,
COME"ON JULIE,,
SEE YOU LATER,
HAVE FUN,
YOUR SHOES?
NO THEY"RE A LITTLE SMALL. AND I STILL HAVE MINE ON,
GIRLFRIENDS?
WELL, FRIENDS
WHAT"S YOUR NAME?
ED,,
BUY ME A DRINK ED?
WELL, SURE, BUT I AM WITH SOMEONE
OK, THEN F**K YOU ED
HOLY S**T!! WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT, DID YOU HERE THAT?
NO BUDDY I MISSED IT,

An Evening at the Water Jazz Lounge


I close my eyes,
move my head, smile
and feel the rhythm.

I feel it enter me,
as a quickened heartbeat;
deliciously invading my soul. Ooo.

A snap, a tap, and then I move my head just a bit more.
I feel it.

Lights are low,
mild chatter and melodic undertones
breathe life into an after five crowd.
The smooth
and intentional
strokes of the ivory channel flows fluidly throughout room.
I feel it. Ooo.

Cognac.
Apple Martini’s.
Wine; red, white, and a blush here and there.
Casual glances.
Games of pool.
The city’s heart starts to beat,
plans are made.
I approach her.
Plans change slightly. Dinner will be enjoyed here, with her.
She is so beautiful.

A snap, a tap, and then I move my head just a bit more.

Our evening becomes a long conversation.
Dinner.
Laughter.
Jazz.
And even a dance.

“Goodnight”
“Goodnight. Call me tomorrow”
“I will”

My commute home has never been better.

I want to die in your arms
Want to live in your breath
Want to sleep in your veins
On your eyes, come to rest
Cause I've been thinking of the ways
I could please you every day
Just for a smile on your face
And no one else takes your place
...only you.

I want to walk by your side
Lay there, tangled in your scent
Lose myself in your voice
Let you know how much you've meant
Cause I've been dreaming every night
Of all the ways this feels so right
Searching my subconscious mind
But no one else catches my eye
...only you.

Only you invoke desire
Only you are on my mind
Only you make me feel lighter
In the midst of heavy times
Only you embody everything
That I've wished to hold close
Only you fit the description
Of everything I've wanted most...

I want to be there in the moment
Fall asleep with you at night
Dream away with conversation
See your face in candle light
Take those long walks down the beaches
Wind up naked in your hands
Be the epitome of warmth
Two bodies rolling in the sand
...me and you

I want to fight to make this happen
Want to work to see it through
Want to wake up in the morning
Finding myself next to you
Cause I've been missing you so long
Although it's easy to hold on
The time and distance seem so wrong
Since I've decided I belong
...with only you.

Only you can call the shots now
Only you can say "okay"
Only I'm not gonna ask you
In this sad and sappy way
Because I refuse to push you
Leave you overwhelmed and frantic
If your heart is unrequited
With this hopeful romantic.

theres people who have never tried this recipe and for them its a new idea to make at home

Another weekend is almost here.
All the free time to feel her near.
Inside these four walls I call my place.
Just me and YOU and no first base.
TV to watch, or on here to pass my time.
Maybe an email,or my silly type of rhyme.
Wondering if I should just go out,
say the hell with my world go live and shout.
But then I have and its not the same.
As someone calling out,,,in my name.
Surrounded by starngers, and still with my smile,
Then I'll feel tomorrow, it was only for awhile.
So wasted days and wasted nights,
just to remember, to turn off the lights.

Where do YOU go when your lonely and blue?
As for ME,I just try typing to all of YOU!

It's not like being able to kiss would make any difference. I was just thinking out loud.

ya zorro gave me a lick after i fed him....hehehehehe

these ads makes reading hard sometimes. that is all lol.

http://www.hindustantimes.com/News-Feed/europe/Lost-city-of-Atlantis-found/Article1-487941.aspx

pictures here:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1236651/Is-lost-city-Atlantis-Grainy-images-released-showing-city-like-structures-beneath-Caribbean-Sea.html

How much time has been in between? Is there more maturity or better understanding of each other, or is it just the same as it always was?

This was written by my friend Scorpio90 about Keith awhile back:

Keith Richards and me
smokin' cigarettes in our waste-land
of cockroaches and cockpit black box recorders.
"Soul Survivor", the final track
from 72's masterpiece Exile On Main Street
plays in the background as the credits roll.
Keith looks at me and grins
as if to say "I told you so".
I nod in agreement
never having doubted it a second.

TWAS THE DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS


`Twas the days before Christmas, and all through the school,
The teachers were trying to just keep their cool.

The hallways were hung with Christmas art
(Some made in November to get a head start!)

The children were bouncing off ceilings and walls,
and seemed to forget how to walk in the halls.

With "holiday shirts" and "jingle bell jewels,"
The teachers looked festive enforcing the rules.

When out of the teacher's lounge there came such a chatter,
The principal went in to see what was the matter.

The teachers were hiding and trying to refuel,
On coffee and cookies and treats from the Yule.

When what to their wondering ears do they hear?
But the ringing of school bells it's the children they fear!

More rapid than reindeer the little ones came,
And the teachers all shouted and called them by name;

Walk, Vincent! Walk, Tanner! Walk, Tyler and Sammy!
Sit, Amy! Sit, Laura! Sit, Tara and Tammy!

To your desks in the room! To your spots in the line!
Now walk to them! Walk to them! No running this time!

So straight to their places the children all went.
With fear of detention where they could be sent,

With manuals of lessons cradled in arms,
The teachers began to use all their charms.

But the lesson presented all fell on deaf ears.
The children were thinking of Santa's reindeer!

With a toss of their hands they put manuals aside,
Went straight to the cupboards where videos hide.

And laying their finger on the TV remote,
They sat back to write their last Christmas note.

But you could hear them exclaim at the end of the day~
Have a wonderful, happy and L-O-O-O-O-O-NG HOLIDAY!

A lady was walking with her small child at the edge of the water on the beach. Suddenly a huge wave crashes ashore and washes the child away. The frantic lady starts screaming,"My baby, my baby, dear God please save my baby!!" Suddenly another large wave crashes ashore and lays the child gently back on the beach. The lady looks up into heaven and says, "He was wearing a hat when he went in."

Yes, thankfulness is just it! We have so many things to be thankful for this holiday season but dad's recovery tops the list!

That I will do is ____________________________

(fill in the blank)

A young man sits down at the bar.
"What can I get you?" The bartender asks.
"Six shots of vodka," says the young man.
"Six shots? Are you celebrating something?"
"Yes, my first blowjob," replies the young man.
"Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house."
"No offense, sir, but if six shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will."