One of the primary foundations of Christianity is immoral, and this would be vicarious redemption, where you can throw your sins onto someone elses shouders. This is simply one example of scapegoating. When sins are taken away simply through prayer, this takes away personal responsibility, which is perverse and immoral. A man would not need to seek the forgiveness of those he wronged, but all a man need to do is seek the forgiveness of Jesus. In a sense, this robs us somewhat of our ability to love our fellow man, for if we can transgress against others and not need their forgiveness to be absolved of our sins towards them, the only word that comes to mind to describe such an individual that would make this statement would be deranged. Also, christianity teaches us to love our fellow neighbor as we would love ourself, which is impossible, so we are always guilty of this crime. It demeans the term of love by making it a compulsory action. Another example, a God-follower relationship can be called a sadomasochistic relationship. To show absolute love to a being that will show love back until you make a mistake, then once again, you are "a worthless and dirty sinner". The God-follower relationship, by definition, fits the sadomasochistic relationship, which is perverse, unhealthy, and unethical. One more point would be that Christianity is a totalitarian system. If there is a God who could do these things and demand all these things of us, who is eternal and unchanging, we would be living under a dictatorship in which there is no chance for appeal, and one that could never change. One that knows our thoughts and can convict us of thought-crimes, and can condemn us to eternal punishment for actions in which we simply have the urge to take.

-This argument is borrowed from Christopher Hitchens, truly a wise individual.

Sometimes there is no specific reason. That's the part that'll really drive you crazy.
Sometimes it just is what it is and you have to treat it as such. Your best ally is your own will to overcome it. (Besides seeing a doctor if this is an option)
But sometimes you have to simply decide you're not going to go thru this today. And then tomorrow, you decide for yourself again, you're not going thru this today. Don't get to far ahead of yourself.
But doing this, at least for me, helped alot. It put me back in charge of my own happiness and depression. I really am responsible for how happy I am, and am not.
I'll never be a fully happy person, just because I've lost so much that the wounds are to deep to totally heal. The scars are there. But, I can have a better quality from day to day than I was having. It doesn't have to hurt everyday. It really doesn't.

I've always been suicidal

but I'm such a procrastinator

So you like a clean type of a scent then?

you still scare me