Community > Posts By > mgilligan

 
mgilligan's photo
Wed 12/26/07 09:03 PM
I would say let her see it develope slowly over time. From what I understand most womem like those qualitites in a man, but still want him to be manly. I would say let her see it naturally over time. No need to tell a woman you tear up over movies, just take her to a couple and let her see it (though I wouldn't reccomend a teary movie on a first or second date).

Don't tell her you like to listen about stuff you have no interest, do it.

If you don't mind cuddling cuddle with her, that probably won't happen on a first date anyway so it will be gradual.

Obviously being crazy about her enough to not care about anything else means you have been seeing each other awhile and she already knows some of these things about you (hopefully other wise thats just sketchy on a first date).

Just don't go out on a first date where you are missing the superbowl to go a play after a day of shopping at a flower show while asking her to go on and on about things you have no interest in only to end up seeing a movie where you cuddle and cry your eye out. That would probably be a bit too much for any woman to take in all at once. No one needs to see you, the real you and all of you, all at once. hlaf the fun of dating is discovering the unknown and learning about the person you are seeing. Leave some of the good stuff for later, but at the same time, if the moment is right don't hide it so you can try and look more manly.

Above all honesty is the best policy. If thats really how you feel and not an act, she will obviously find out, if it is something you don't mind doing for her, then do it gradually, you don't want her to expect you to miss the game for a play and cry during movies every night if its not what you really want.

Hope that helps a little and ladies feel free to correct me if I am wrong.

mgilligan's photo
Wed 12/26/07 04:54 PM
Maybe because I am a guy it is not as scary for me but I think some of you are a little over protective. I agree that if they are asking for your number after a single message (or even a couple short ones) then they most likely just want to get some, but some of you are a little parinoid, I doubt they are stalkers just creeps that don't know how relationships work. Yes I am sure the internet can be a scary place, but all phones (at least every one I have seen in the last 5 years) have caller ID. You don't like that he is calling you ignore the call. He calls too much then block the number. Life is too short to miss out on chatting someone up because you are afraid everyone is a stalker, talk to them a little, if they seem like a nice person and they ask for a number take a chance most likely all you will waste is a little bit of time, but you never know it could work out well. Again like I said I am a guy and we tend to worry about the stalker/psycho stuff alot less, but still you only live once.

mgilligan's photo
Wed 12/26/07 04:37 PM

I would push alittle harder. If she was just a friend and not your ex you would push harder. If she needs you then she needs you, it's as simple as that.


Not quite as simple as that. She is stubborn and the more I talk to her the harder she fights to push me away. I feel like if I keep pushing things it will only make things worse. I talked to her parents (They kept calling me) and now they understand and agree I should probably back off. I just hope she has someone to talk to because she is starting to make some bad decisions and has no one to lean on or go to for support.

mgilligan's photo
Wed 12/26/07 11:46 AM
So on the time thing. I would like to state that agree time is best, but something a little new has developed. Her family (Mostly her older sister) has been contacting me saying that my ex is starting to spiral downward and needs me right now. they have been pressuring me to talk to her more, but I still feel like my ex doesn't want to talk to me right now. Should I still give it time and ignore her family, or should I push a little harder?

mgilligan's photo
Wed 12/26/07 11:39 AM

mg i agree with you, i just don't get the rational behind clicking yes when you really mean no. Maybe its just an ego thing click yes on everyone and only respond to the ones you really want. Thats sad and really defeats the purpose.


Haha how often do things really get used for their original "purpose"

mgilligan's photo
Wed 12/26/07 11:31 AM
The only requirement for a Mutual Match is you click on yes or maybe, anything other than that and there is no match.

As far as people ignoring a message being sent, no idea, I try to message anyone I am a mutual match with and will usually get a response from some of them, but often does not last more than a few messages. Maybe they liked your picture (Most of the time thats all people look at for mutual matches anyway) but after getting a message from you they look further into your profile and decide they don't think you are compatible (Don't get me started on judging people off just a profile, but it happens) and maybe they are jsut shy/busy/weird/fill-in-lame-excuse-here. I would say keep trying and anyone worth talking to will message you back eventually.

mgilligan's photo
Tue 12/25/07 10:11 PM


Someone here mentioned "time" and I guess I would agree. But no matter, I hope it works out for you and gets better.

-Drew


Hope your right. I still care about her and want her to get through this but I can't help if she won't let me and I know better than to force anything. Guess only time will tell.

mgilligan's photo
Tue 12/25/07 06:53 PM
yeah you are probably right, I guess I feel bad. It seems right now she needs a friend more than ever as she is going through a lot of other things and she honestly doesn't really have anyone to help her out. Normally I have no problems giving someone space and starting up a random conversation a few months down the road. It would be much easier if she had a better support system. Guess now she is on her own I just wish I could help.

mgilligan's photo
Tue 12/25/07 06:42 PM
So until now I have been able to be friends (or at least on speaking terms) with my exes, however my most recent ex (broke up a few weeks ago) and I seem to be having problems making it work. We were the best of friends while we were together and she often told me I was the only person she could really talk to. Now it seems like she needs a friend more than ever and I would like to be there for her but she keeps pushing me away.

Some days it seems like everything is working out and we can get along, but most of the time even the simplest discussions turn into fights and she is constantly yelling at me, then turns around the next day and tells me how alone she is and needs someone to talk to.

Any advice on how to be friends with an ex, and I would prefer not to just get a long list of responses saying "just don't do it" I have made it work in the past and feel like it could work, or maybe its true and some people just can't be friends with an ex. Any advice?

mgilligan's photo
Tue 12/18/07 07:45 PM

¿How many of you can say you have really lived...?

Traveled to a far away land
Skydiving
White water rafting
Partying with celebrities
etc.

I may be young and haven't experienced as much about life as most of you on here but I sure have done a whole lot more than some other people out there my age. I know three people in their twenties whom don't go school, don't work, and won't even take the initiative to get a driver's license; they just sit around on their computers and drink.


done all of that, have also been caving, bungee jumping, platform diving, cliff diving off the coast of italy and I like to drink at my computer and I am only 24.... what was the point of this post again?

mgilligan's photo
Tue 12/18/07 07:41 PM

Ouch! 50 some odd views and no bites. That went over like a lead balloon!

What do you suppose went wrong?


Well usually people like to become your friend before adding you as a friend. It tends to take more than a "Hi are you hot wanna be my friend", at least from my experience anyway

mgilligan's photo
Tue 12/18/07 04:51 PM

a respectable relationship that has full of trust


That may be what alot of women want but I have yet to meet the girl that says "Damn you see that guy. mmmMMM he looks so reliable and trustworthy I jsut wanna jump him right now"

mgilligan's photo
Tue 12/18/07 04:41 PM
So don't x them out and now you will have no idea how many times they have been there. I guess I don't consider it stalking if they find you interesting and happen to view your page on occasion. If it really does bother you then you might have to click on their page but something as harmless as looking I would probably just ignore

mgilligan's photo
Tue 12/18/07 04:35 PM


I am pretty sure you don't have to visit there page to report abuse. If they are sending you messages, then when you go to read that message there is a button that says "report abuse". you never have to actually go visit their site


No not through messaging....just checking to see if a person is online....


How do you know if they are checking to see that your online? Is their some sort of notification that tells you they are checking on you, if so I have never seen it, maybe no one loves me. I guess what I am asking is, what are they doing that you know your being stalked, and how hard is it to ignore?

mgilligan's photo
Tue 12/18/07 04:31 PM
I am pretty sure you don't have to visit there page to report abuse. If they are sending you messages, then when you go to read that message there is a button that says "report abuse". you never have to actually go visit their site

mgilligan's photo
Tue 12/18/07 04:07 PM
can't you just ask them for the number again. Also if you were using dead aim or one of the newer version of aim they usualy log your conversations so you can look them up later.

mgilligan's photo
Tue 12/18/07 03:55 PM
Why are you concerned about sending too many emails? Have you had that problem before?

mgilligan's photo
Tue 12/18/07 03:54 PM
what is your book about?

mgilligan's photo
Tue 12/18/07 10:49 AM
Mutual match is a jsut a way to let you know that someone you found "interesting" also found you interesting. As far as making a move you can wait and see if they will do it or you can take the initiative yourself. This site doesn't do either for you. However its nice to note that if you you see them as a mutual match then they see you so simple email saying "Hey I saw we are both matches and wanted to say hi" is usually enough for starters. Hope that helps

mgilligan's photo
Mon 12/17/07 06:16 PM
Edited by mgilligan on Mon 12/17/07 06:17 PM


Yes remember every b*#$% looking for a sugar daddy will have no real life or skills because a sugar daddy will always go for a younger model in the end.

Why do men feel the need to call women bytches? First of all, not all women are looking for sugar daddies! I bet half of the women here make more money then some of the men...so honestly, you guys need to stop calling the women bytches!!grumble


In his defense he said every b*#$% looking for a sugar daddy and although it is very true that most women are not b*#$%es.... anyone looking for a sugar daddy is and I have no sympathy for them.

also doesn't matter how much you make, you can still be looking for a sugar daddy to make things better. My ex made plenty but still looked for me to pay for everything so her/his income doesn't have anything to do with it.