Community > Posts By > cancarian69

 
cancarian69's photo
Wed 01/09/08 06:57 AM


Hmm nightime is not in my postion second i have been out on dates and personally they all turned out to be about one thing and thats sex im not looking for sex im looking for a real man thats feeling me for me a man thats on my level you feel me and if you had a clue most of my friends are married and happy.


Let me say it again. You are attracting the wrong kind of men because you are putting up a profile (and probably other signals) that attracts the wrong kind of men.

If you put up a shallow profile, you attract shallow men. Thats the bottom line.


Cancarian,

I looked at your profile. You need to format it. I can't get through the whole thing because I keep losing my place. From what I read however, I recommend putting more positive things towards the beginning of the profile, and negative things towards the end. Starting with the negative makes you seem defensive.

Don't talk about your pictures at all. Just leave that out of your profile.

-ArdentPause

Edit: Sexy, the picture update is a good start.


ArdentPause, thanks for the info, I'll take the advice!

cancarian69's photo
Wed 01/09/08 06:51 AM

I am no one you should take advice from about dating but it says you joined this site today? If that is true then give yourself some time to meet some men. Do not go out on a date with them right off that bat too. E-mail back and forth get to know each other then see what happens. Like I said I am not sure but I would guess that would be a better bet for you on finding a good guy and not a dog.


Halleluha to that chickie! Never give out your phone number right away, never meet them right away, honey if they are worth it they will email, IM, until you are comfortable with meeting them, use email and IM as a kind of filter for dogs, if they start talking dirty to you before you have even met them then that's gonna be the way it's gonna be when you do meet them so FILTER THE DOGS OUT, always meet in a public place with lots of people, never drive with them alone on the first date.....those are just some of the rules I set for myself......

cancarian69's photo
Wed 01/09/08 06:46 AM

I agree, hell your name is sexy black girl, act like a sexy black girl, be confident and direct, itll help you alot acting sad will only attract the men you dont want, tease, and show theres more to you but you want them to find out for theirself :wink:


yeah baby! anticipation and imagination can be very thrilling!

cancarian69's photo
Wed 01/09/08 06:37 AM

Hmm nightime is not in my postion second i have been out on dates and personally they all turned out to be about one thing and thats sex im not looking for sex im looking for a real man thats feeling me for me a man thats on my level you feel me and if you had a clue most of my friends are married and happy.


Then hun, change the pics on your profile, you are georgous! and when looking for a good man, Less skin is actually more..if you were looking at a guys profile and all you was was him in jeans with no shirt with a come get me look on his face, what would you think he's looking for? Seriously, you are advertising you, and what you are about.I know you have a few responses stating this but it is true, check out the pics on my profile....I've had tons of responses and I know it isn't because of my body or just my looks cause I have some pretty good pics of me definitely not looking my best and I don't think I have one on there that I'm not fully clothed....also I put my personality in words too.....I'm pretty direct and blunt and that's me, "if you don't like it?! Move on!" don't be afraid if men don't like what they see or read, show them the real you and you'll find better men...well, most of the time anyway....lol....

cancarian69's photo
Wed 01/09/08 06:30 AM


I would agree that you must have your life together before you let someone else in as well as setting your standards higher....your standards are what tell the world what you feel your self worth is....I am a great woman and deserve a great man and if I lower my standards I lower my self worth and would end up settling for less which would lead to depression, insecurity, resentment, blah blah blah, enough with the shrink stuff......seriously though honey, deffinetly raise the bar on who you are choosing to be around,(dogs like to hang out with dogs) not just with and you'll attract the tigers, not the dogs......and do your best not to come off as conceited...you can be secure in knowing what you want and not go lower than that but there is a fine line between confidence and conceit.....Good luck to you honey!!!


Very good advice!! You need to focus on what you want..not what you DON'T want...it's true and it works...if you believe you're worth it.


yeah baby! rock on!

cancarian69's photo
Wed 01/09/08 06:23 AM

Nightime is right on the money. If you have a consistent problem with guys, it isn't them. It's you. Stop whining about how to find great guys, and learn how to find them.

I looked at your profile. All your pictures are the same, and they all feature you in lingerie. On top of it, you have a profile with two lines of text that tell men nothing about you.

Exactly what type of men were you expecting to pick up here? I read several dozen profiles a day, and they all say the same boring thing. "I'm funny and like to have a good time blah blah blah looking for a nice trusting guy blah blah blah I don't have anything interesting in this profile at all"

Every girl on a dating site gets tons of emails a day. But great guys don't email everybody. Only great girls. If you want to get a great guy, you need to learn how to attract one.

If you really have no clue how to do that, go out and buy a few books. Don't just ask your girl-friends either. I'm willing to bet that most of them are in the same situation you are. If you want good advice, go to people who know what they are talking about.

-ArdentPause

P.S. Yes, I am being particularly hard on you. I just hate seeing the same mistakes made again and again by women everywhere. It's a real shame. You have a lot to offer. Show it off.


Excellent input man! I have read plenty of mens profiles that are the same way, "I like the outdoors, camping blah blah, want someone to cuddle with, yadda yadda.....but some depth into it, and let your personality come out and don't be afraid to be direct, assertive and painfully honest if need be.....
ArdentPause...you haven't read mine yet have you? not the typical profile....no half naked pics either....lol

cancarian69's photo
Wed 01/09/08 06:17 AM
I would agree that you must have your life together before you let someone else in as well as setting your standards higher....your standards are what tell the world what you feel your self worth is....I am a great woman and deserve a great man and if I lower my standards I lower my self worth and would end up settling for less which would lead to depression, insecurity, resentment, blah blah blah, enough with the shrink stuff......seriously though honey, deffinetly raise the bar on who you are choosing to be around,(dogs like to hang out with dogs) not just with and you'll attract the tigers, not the dogs......and do your best not to come off as conceited...you can be secure in knowing what you want and not go lower than that but there is a fine line between confidence and conceit.....Good luck to you honey!!!

cancarian69's photo
Tue 01/08/08 05:47 PM

Common, we gotta bleed to breed. Grow some scales Allen


true but I don't care for the not so fresh feeling comercials and the tampax and what not, we learn about that stuff in the "share program" in school. it sure does kill the mood when one of them comes up when you're with your honey getting hot and heavy and you hear the "OB it's the way you should be" ya know....and all the others....lol

cancarian69's photo
Tue 01/08/08 05:20 PM

The questiom is go where they want not have what a man has or needs to maintain their health like a man.


What the F?

cancarian69's photo
Tue 01/08/08 05:01 PM

Man ... All CAPS is real hard to read you know.

But to sum it up with my own understanding on the issue ... it's because of human psychology. We humans want things either we cannot get or we take effort to get (something we work at). If something becomes too easy, it loses VALUE (in our mind) and we lose the attraction. It's not just guys, GIRLS do this ALL THE TIME, too.

For example, there's this dress you want SO badly but it's really expensive (lets say ... $2000). You work and work and work and finally spend your whole month's earning to buy this dress. You will VALUE it a lot and treat it very special (in your mind).

But lets say there's a BIG SALE. and now this same dress is sold for $10 and EVERYONE is wearing it on the street ... then it loses VALUE (in your mind) and thus loses attraction (to you). You don't want it anymore.

So, that's the psychology of it. When you ask him out, he feels you are cheap (in his mind!! like the dress) and loses attraction for you.

Well, that's my take on it. I mean, everyone's different. Maybe he's got his own story. But I hope what I wrote makes sense.



Source: I've taken Psychology for 2 years and read a lot of books on human psychology.


are you stipulating that women who ask men out are easy? Assertive, tenacious and maybe aggressive but never easy...at least for me that is

cancarian69's photo
Tue 01/08/08 04:14 PM


Don't you know that women can go any where they want!!!laugh laugh


really? let me know when you go see a proctologist.....

LOL!!!! right on!.....good one

cancarian69's photo
Tue 01/08/08 03:54 PM

hey babe im over 260lbs,lol
Would yadate me? Bigger the better I say!!!


OMG!!! WOW....sweetnspic4u...did you check this one out!!!!devil :heart: devil

cancarian69's photo
Tue 01/08/08 03:36 PM
Hey there! My first day checking out the forums.....still can't figure out all the stuff you can do on here but I'm having a good time so far....welcome, welcome.....just be you and have a good time with it!

cancarian69's photo
Tue 01/08/08 03:32 PM
Yeah! grilled cheese and tomato soup! Perfect for a cold evening...and it is cold here!!!! Thanks for the idea!

cancarian69's photo
Tue 01/08/08 03:28 PM





heres some questions for you guys...1) how can you screw your love life without doing anything? 2) how you feel if some dating site screw your love life?


something had to happen man, lets be real now...How did a dating site that screws with your love life.....as for the spanking your monkey comments.....you guys are too good looking not to have someone doing that for you.....


i don't see you knocking down my door askin for a date........


it's a shame that you'd be looking so far away!


reno isn't that far away, and the women in these parts aren't worth a crap.


last post was for you!

cancarian69's photo
Tue 01/08/08 03:26 PM
lol....sorry to hear that....if you're ever in town?! ya never know:wink:

cancarian69's photo
Tue 01/08/08 03:25 PM

well sometimes it happens you never expected...my gf's mom was my friend on one site and everything start screwed up...you can say, that was dating site...Spammers on that website start sending nasty bulletins by using my name and i didn't even know that..they use my name to post bulletins and those all bulletins were visible to my friends on that site...so what happen...i got very sweet and cute E-mail from my Gf's mom that i am punk....her daughter is not going to see me anymore...now what i have to do? i didn't do anything and my love life screwed up....any suggestions?


eeewww suck man, sorry to hear it, had a pissed off ex put up a profile about me looking for...sex for money.....totally messed up, some dude even showed up at my apt in the middle of the night!!! freaked me the hell out! had to go to court, get a restraining order..blah blah blah..just a big mess....the only thing I can offer to what happened to you is that if she is the one for you and you have explained what happend then you have to let your cards stay on the table and hope that she turns around and doesn't go by her "mother's law" besides you probably don't need a girl who looks to her mother for approval to keep a relationship going....tuff break man...good luck to you....

cancarian69's photo
Tue 01/08/08 03:19 PM



heres some questions for you guys...1) how can you screw your love life without doing anything? 2) how you feel if some dating site screw your love life?


something had to happen man, lets be real now...How did a dating site that screws with your love life.....as for the spanking your monkey comments.....you guys are too good looking not to have someone doing that for you.....


i don't see you knocking down my door askin for a date........


it's a shame that you'd be looking so far away!

cancarian69's photo
Tue 01/08/08 03:16 PM
I must totally agree with Abracadabra!

cancarian69's photo
Tue 01/08/08 03:09 PM

heres some questions for you guys...1) how can you screw your love life without doing anything? 2) how you feel if some dating site screw your love life?


something had to happen man, lets be real now...How did a dating site that screws with your love life.....as for the spanking your monkey comments.....you guys are too good looking not to have someone doing that for you.....