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Topic:
What to do??
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...So my thought is do I try to stay and make it work or do I walk away before the emotions get involved? ROTF..!!! You're kidding...right? If you feel this way already...then this has "future restraining order" written all over it  See ya' on "Cops"  Not even close. I would not let it get that far or that out of hand in the first place. I just thought maybe there is a way to get him to stop being so irritating. I know thats not the most realistic attitude but it was just a thought! |
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Topic:
What to do??
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Too bad we havent even had sex. He thinks thats part of my problem. That I am too uptight and just need to get laid. I just dont think that is going to solve the problem....  Maybe the beast in you that he brings out is really your gut telling you hes not a good one for you. Dont fall for this bs he's giving you about needing to get laid...geez I'm not young and niave. I'm not falling for that one. Its my choice that we are not having sex. |
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Topic:
What to do??
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If you feel this way this early in the relationship what do you think you will feel like later in the relationship? will you feel like doing more than just beating the crap out of him?  I'm not a violent person and I dont have too many violent tendencies so I dont worry about something happening later on down the road, in that respect. Maybe its just too much time spent together, too. Who knows! |
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Topic:
What to do??
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Too bad we havent even had sex. He thinks thats part of my problem. That I am too uptight and just need to get laid. I just dont think that is going to solve the problem....
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Topic:
What to do??
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Thats kinda what I have been thinking. I like the guy and he is great in small doses but after spending all weekend around him I was sooo glad to have to go to work today. Pretty sad. I also spent the half hour drive home praying his truck would not be in my drive when I got home from work.
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Topic:
What to do??
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Ok, so I met this guy a few weeks ago and things seemed really good. We have a lot in common and are compatable in a lot of areas. There are some things we dont see eye to eye on but I think that could be worked out.
So here's the problem. I find myself, when in his company, just wanting to bet the crap out of him. Not literally but he finds these ways to get under my skin and irritate and annoy me to the point I just want to start beating him or something...So my thought is do I try to stay and make it work or do I walk away before the emotions get involved? |
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Topic:
Should We Smack Or Kids
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 I cant help but laugh at the fools in here.... Simply said, act up and come my way. I will strike you if your out of line...You wont like it. Hit a kid, you got it coming to you...  There is a HUGE difference between hitting a child or anyone else and giving a spanking. I dont care what anyone says about that!!! |
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Topic:
Should We Smack Or Kids
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I highly doubt I have ever hurt my son when I have spanked him. Hurt his feelings, yes but with a diaper for a barrier and the fact that I am not trying to cause pain I would safely say he has not been hurt. I have tried the time outs and gotten nowhere.
As for the tantrums mostly they are ignored but there has been the occasional one that has cause a spanking. It got his attention and he quit. I know that tandroms can not be helped and the best way to deal with them is to ignore him. My home is a very consistant home. We have rules and they are to be followed. I realize at 2 they are still learning but there are some things they know and have already learned. We do not throw toys, for any reason, so if my son gets in a mood one day to throw his toys and will not stop no matter how many times he is told he is more than likely going to end up with a spanking. It reminds him that he can not get away with everything and that he will have consequences! |
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Topic:
Should We Smack Or Kids
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I have a 2 year old and though my son is not dumb he will try you every step of the way. He doesnt completely get the idea of time out so its lost on him about sitting in a chair for 5 minutes. I would have to take every single toy away for that to do any good. Yet all I have to do is a light tap on the butt when he has done something completely wrong and isnt listening and he finds something else to do that he knows he wont get in trouble for!  Yeh they can be stubborn! But you do it with love, it works and you both love each other. And that little "tap" gets his attention. Boys are usually a little tougher to get our attention. And I could not agree more!  I dont beat my kids and never will. I dont spank for every lil thing they do wrong but if they know they are doing something wrong and they are ignoring you when you tell them to stop then they are going to get a tap on the butt. PLain and simple. My son being in the terrible 2's will throw tantrums for no known reason and sometimes the only way to get his attention is a spanking. Then his whole attitude changes!!
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Topic:
Should We Smack Or Kids
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For those who dont believe in spankings I am not judging but could someone tell me how you get a 2 year old to sit in time out when they have been bad?? I have tried and it usually ends up with both of us being quite upset and the point to the time out being lost completely!!
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Topic:
Should We Smack Or Kids
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I have a 2 year old and though my son is not dumb he will try you every step of the way. He doesnt completely get the idea of time out so its lost on him about sitting in a chair for 5 minutes. I would have to take every single toy away for that to do any good. Yet all I have to do is a light tap on the butt when he has done something completely wrong and isnt listening and he finds something else to do that he knows he wont get in trouble for!
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Topic:
Should We Smack Or Kids
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A little tap on the rear is O K I guess, but I do not persoanilly believe in hitting a child, that just teaches them to fear you! I am dying to know how a light spanking is teaching our kids to fear us. I spank my son and he is not afraid of me nor do I think he will be. His father used to try that same **** on me, that if I spanked him that he would fear me and not respect me. Yet this is the man who is raising 3 hellions that dont get spankings and have no respect for anyone and wont listen to anyone. My son is VERY respectful yet when needed he does get a spanking! |
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Topic:
what to do.
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My baby sitter is a retired nurse and she recommended rubbing the gums often. It shouldnt cause them any more pain but it kind of massages the gums and relieves the pain. Plus it helps when the teeth start to break through the skin and makes it less painful.
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So he has 4 kids that he helped to create, but isn't man enough to help support??? Sounds to me like you would be doing society a favor by helping your previous state to find him, he needs to be neutered. Don't you agree that if you aren't willing to help them, you should be liable for paying back the money that you received? If you don't pay it back, and won't help them, who do you think is responsible? I understand how easy it is to judge a situation without having all the facts and to give you all the facts would take months but you have to think of this. First off I never once received any kind of cash from the state. Insurance, yes. I'm not saying its someone else's responsibility but there are all kinds of people who are on state insurance that arent having to pay it back. Also, it doesnt matter if I help the state or not because he is not going to pay until he absolutely has to. The state in question is not one to push to go after dead beat dads once a child support order is in place. I have a friend who was granted child support plus for the father to pay what he owed that he was behind as a seperate payment and she doesnt get a dime. The only way the state will push it is if she pushes it and makes a huge scene about it. Plus, then he just goes and changes jobs so they have to find his new employer to get the money anyway. |
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There are plenty dead beat dads the state could be tracking down not to have to worry about me! they still consider your childs father a dead beat dad....which he is  I do know he is a dead beat. He wants to be that cool dad that can spoil the kids and let them do whatever they want and buy them all kinds of expensive things but not have to have any financial responsibility for their upbringing. If the kid's mom runs out of money while working 3 jobs and never getting to see the kids and gets her electric cut off to him this is her problem...He is sick and has issues. |
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I got a letter in the mail today that plainly stated they dropped their case because I have moved. If I ever need assistance where I am currently living this state can choose to pick it up but since I no longer live in the previous state they arent going to do anything. Right..you moved. Now, the good people of that state will be expected to foot the bill if you ever "go for assistance", unless you persue and nail that deadbeat douche bag... Look, I'm a Dad..I pay child support. It's what you're supposed to do. I don't care if you hate him or whatever...but he needs to pay child support, provide health insurance and provide "those little extras" that the kids need. Brian, I am glad you stepped up but not every parent does. Even if there was a child support order he wouldnt pay. He has 3 other kids he has never paid a die on. Every time she tries to file against him he finds a way to get her to back off. It will be the same here as well, that being one of the reasons I have not gone after him for child support. Oh, and since he doesnt have a job and doesnt keep them it will still be the state providing for my child so I might as well just do it on my own. |
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Another solution is to offer to pay for him to relinquish the child for adoption (costs you or him about $500 bucks and ends his future childsupport obligations so most guys jump at the opportunity) to an amicable third party and yourself. Maybe your parents or siblings, a significant other; just becareful who you pick as you may like the devil you have more than the devil you pick. The best interest of the child is to have two parents and the state rarely fights it. If this person hasn't bothered you so far sounds like a non-issue. Neglect is not grounds even if it does peeve you. Sounds like it is more possible that you have tried to prevent his participation which is only going to make the state more aggressive in pursueing his parental rights & responsibilities. It is relatively simple to keep your address away from him if anyone states he has a history of harrassment or abuse. The likelyhood the state will pursue this person to the point of createing a danger to you is slim. If it is not a catestophic sum your case is going to be low on the totem pole of the limited resources the state has to send on collection anyway. The sooner you settle somewhere and earn an income that is above the poverty level they are even less motivated to make your case a priority. Even if they determine he is the father they have to set a child suport order that is reasonable and he can appeal that in court also. Last but not least I would not make a habit of "hassleing the state" because that could quite likely come back to haunt you someday. You never know when life could take a serious left turn (car accident, illness, layoff) and you might desperately need child support. Unless you have collected a bosat load of benifits so far what you could collect could easily become more than what you both owe the state. I have not once prevented it but I am not going to hand my child over to someone who plainly state that if he gets his hands on my child I will never see that child again. That is why I asked for it to go through court so that there was some protection for me and my child. He has known where I was as in the state and city but he hasnt had an exact address. But come on. With the great old internet anyone can find anyone. He has not tried. |
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Sounds like he made it pretty clear from the start that he doesn't want to be a Dad so he probably isn't going to pursue that or you. If you are really worried about it move to a state like Kentucky where if the father has no contact for a year the child is considered abandoned and you can adopt your child back as a single parent. Then he has no rights or obligations. Just because a guy has a child with you doesn't mean you have to have any contact with him on a personal level. Yea you may have to communicate about best interest issues with him in regards to the child but that includes no information about you. Nice thought but it will not work. Any issue towards child support will always be handled in the state that the child was born, or where custody was decided originally. For example, if she needs assistance in her new state and they want to pursue it? The new state has to petition the courts in the previous state, and follow the previous states laws. Otherwise there would be all kinds of women (and men) taking their children and running for a different state on the grounds that the new states laws take affect. Child support is handled in the state the child resides in. Since there was never any custody established and as far as the courts or anyone else is concerned I am the only parent to the child it will, if ever, be handled in the state we live in by their laws. |
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Actually I found out today that the state is not going to continue to pursue me. I got a letter in the mail today that plainly stated they dropped their case because I have moved. If I ever need assistance where I am currently living this state can choose to pick it up but since I no longer live in the previous state they arent going to do anything.
As for the child support, visitation thing, I do know that they are seperate issues but once he has access to contact me he will be back in our lives, whether its through visitation or just plain old harrassment. He has not once ever tried to find us, (I moved while I was pregnant) and he isnt going to because he doesnt want to have to pay child support, but if something were to happen he wants someone else to do it for him. He tries to claim to be a victum because I chose not to have him at the hospital and because I chose to protect my child. He knows all he has to do is take it through the legal channels and in front of a judge and he can have his rights. SO, why hasnt he? |
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Same with me about Days Of Our Lives except that I have been watching it since I was like 5!!! LOL
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