So is this gonna be a weekly thing for you...lol

we all discuss the why's and where's and what not's of Christianity. But I beleive it all boils down to this....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvDDc5RB6FQ

A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well," said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?"

"Mama," she replied, "the honeymoon itself was wonderful - it was so romantic! But......." Suddenly the young girl burst out crying. "Mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language - things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home... PLEASE MAMA!"

Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, Mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed - they're just too awful and I can't say them! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"

"Darling baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. I'm your mother - now tell me these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama...words like: Wash, Iron, Dust, Cook..."

A woman and a man driver are involved in a horrific collision, but amazingly both escape completely unhurt - though their cars are written off.
As they crawl out of the wreckage, the man sees the woman is blonde and strikingly beautiful. Then the woman turns to the man and gushes breathily: 'That's incredible - both our cars are demolished but we're fine. It must be a sign from God that we are meant to be together!'
Sensing a promise, the man stammers back, 'Oh yes, I agree with you completely!'

The woman goes on, 'And look, though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine survived intact, too! It must be another sign. Let's drink to our love!'

'Well, OK!' says the man, going with the moment. She offers him the bottle, so he downs half of it and hands it back.

'Your turn,' says the man.

'No, thanks,' says the woman, 'I think I'll just wait for the police.'

Have you tried Hypno therapy for your migranes?...it may help some...

The native americans have made it a simple explanation as with other cultures from ancient times. The stories of the universe being a circle witin many circles... too many to count...

Good Question...!!!

I dont mean to throw a wrench in to this whole thing but if I remember quantum physics.....there are more then a few levels if you will or dimensions as a you suggest. The caculations are unlimited for each one will generate its own series of happestance.

WHOA!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!So if I change my name to Enrique or Juan or Pedro.... and post a pic of a latin type guy ... iwill ge tthis kind of response....pics at eleven!!!

These postings under paranormal are great. I would be interested in any and all experiences that any of you have had. You can send me pics, EVP's, incidents, anything you may have found or heard of. I am in the process of researching these incidents and would really love to hear about your stories and experiences! Who knows it may even become a book!..lol I know that this is a lot to ask and you really dont have to do this But I had to ask cause this is a passion i have had since a young child.

And thankyou for your time.

Hello ma'am, I'm here to do a follow up on your tick exam. I know that it may have been very embarresing for you but it IS necessary to do this..You see we must, as a nation, erradicate this problem...MA'AM...Hello?..knock knock...Ma'am...hello?!!! well now where did she go?

The 1st Affair

A married man was having an affair
with his secretary.

One day they went to her place
and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep
and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed
and told his lover to take his shoes
outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

'Where have you been?' his wife demanded.

'I can't lie to you,' he replied,

'I'm having an affair with my secretary.
We had sex all afternoon.'

She looked down at his shoes and said:

'You lying bastard!
You've been playing golf!'





The 2nd Affair

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters
but always talked about having a son.

They decided to try one last time
for the son they always wanted.

The wife got pregnant
and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery
to see his new son.

He was horrified at the ugliest child
he had ever seen.

He told his wife: 'There's no way I can
be the father of this baby.
Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!
Have you been fooling around behind my back?'

The wife smiled sweetly and replied:
'No, not this time!'




The 3rd Affair

A mortician was working late one night.

He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz,
about to be cremated,
and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz had the largest private part
he had ever seen!

'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician
commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated
with such an impressive private part.
It must be saved for posterity.'

So, he removed it,
stuffed it into his briefcase,
and took it home.

'I have something to show
you won't believe,' he said to his wife,
opening his briefcase.

'My God!' the wife exclaimed,
'Schwartz is dead!'




The 4th Affair

A woman was in bed with her lover
when she heard her husband
opening the front door.

'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.'

She rubbed baby oil all over him,
then dusted him with talcum powder.

'Don't move until I tell you,'
she said. 'Pretend you're a statue.'

'What's this?' the husband inquired
as he entered the room.

'Oh it's a statue,' she replied.
'The Smiths bought one and I liked it
so I got one for us, too.'

No more was said,
not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up,
went to the kitchen and returned
with a sandwich and a beer.

'Here,' he said to the statue, have this.
I stood like that for two days at the Smiths
and nobody offered me a damned thing.'




The 5th Affair

A man walked into a cafe,
went to the bar and ordered a beer.

'Certain ly, Sir, that'll be one cent.'

'One Cent?' the man exclaimed.

He glanced at the menu and asked:
'How much for a nice juicy steak
and a bottle of wine?'

'A nickel,' the barman replied.

'A nickel?' exclaimed the man.
'Where's the guy who owns this place?'

The bartender replied:
'Upstairs, with my wife.'

The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs
with your wife?'

The bartender replied:
'The same thing I'm doing
to his business down here.'




The 6th Affair

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly:
'I have something I must confess.'

'There's no need to, 'his wife replied.

'No,' he ins isted,
'I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend,
her best friend, and your mother!'

'I know,' she replied.
'Now just rest and let the poison work.'

a little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the front door of a sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her feet, she wobbles over the few feet across the store to the counter.
Finally arriving at the counter and grabbing it for support, stuttering she asks the sales clerk:"DDDDoooo yyyooouuu hhhaaavvveee ddddiiillldddooosss?"
The clerk, politly trying not to burst out laughing, replies:"Yes we do have dildos. Actually we carry many different models."
The old lady then asks:"Ddddooo yyyooouuu ccccaaarrryyy aaaa pppiiinnnkkk ooonnneee, tttteeennn iiinnnccchhheeesss lllooonnnggg aaannnddd aaaabbboooouuuuutttt ttttwwwooo..ttwwoo.. iiinnnccchhhheeeesss tttthhhiiiicccckjkkk aaaannnndddd rrrruuunnnnsssss bbbbyyy bbbaaatttttteeeerrrriiiieeeesssss?
The clerk responds: "yes we do".
She asks: "Ddddoooo yyyyooouuuu kkkknnnnooooowwww hhhhooowwwwww tttttttooooo ttttuuuurrrrrnnnnn tttthhheeee bbbbaaasssttaarrdd ooooofffff?"

Was that you...I'm getting old I forget...

A walk thru the park in the rain and coming across an abandoned shelter...ahhh that was memorable...still catchs my breath...

well you can really drink with a pain pill...its just can you handle the consequences afterward...

A big Texan cowboy stopped at a local restaurant following a day of drinking and roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!" The cowboy, though momentarily daunted, said, "What the heck, I'm on vacation down here! Bring me an order!" The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early tomorrow and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy"! The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and then that evening he was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, and inspecting the contents of his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday!" The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."

she was sleepy and announced to the seven dwarfs that she was going to bed. After the usual lengthy round of "Good Nights" she went upstairs. Immediately all seven dwarfs rushed outside and began standing on each others shoulders beneath Snow White's bedroom window. Tonight was Grumpy's turn to be on the top and as he was the only one who could see in the window it was his duty to inform the other dwarfs what she was doing. After a minute or two he hollered down, "She's taking off her blouse!" and this as echoed down the stack "taking off her blouse," "she's taking off her blouse," "blouse is coming off," "taking off her blouse," etc. Next Grumpy yelled, "She's taking off her skirt," which was followed by the echoes "taking off her skirt," "she's taking off her skirt," "skirt's coming off," "taking off her skirt," etc. Of course the next line from Grumpy was, "She's taking off her bra!" and the echo chorus went down the line. Then, "She's taking off her panties!" which again cascaded down the dwarf tower. Finally Grumpy looked around and from his vantage height saw someone coming through the woods so he yelled, "Someone's coming!" and from the next dwarf to the bottom dwarf was heard, "Me too." "Me too." "Me too." "Me too." "Me too."

WOW! Youre PURTY!!!AH lak Purty!!!!! I lak your dress too... You shur are purty....

OMG!! I didnt think anybody else went thru that like I did ...lol This hilarious .....And true....Thanks for the laugh today....