Lots of people are into not human.

Yes sir, that's it. Thank you.

Wow...Mingle taught you to tie your shoes? This IS a lovely community! Seriously, though. Thank you. A little kindness goes a long way with me, especially this evening. It's appreciated.

I'm trying to post a vid by the band God-des & She, the song is "God, I Know That You Love Me" about how we are all loved by our maker, regardless of who we love in this life. Posting because...honestly because I haven't seen my dad in years because he doesn't approve of me. And because tonight he said because I'm single, he'd like to see me, but...I'm still me. I'm still gay, whether I have a girlfriend or not. I told him that. And he decided he doesn't want to see me after all. So, look up the song if you like. But even if you don't, be who you are, and know that you are who you are meant to be, and no less a child of this universe than anyone else.

Lol, I don't know why I suck at posting youtube vids, but you are very kind to continue to help while I learn the ins and outs of this site.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fL-GKihXwm8

And my point is that you are one person among billions of people in the world. You can speak only for your own values. If having a FWB for YOU means you don't value yourself, then by all means, don't do it.

But you do not get to speak for what is a natural act for every other person in the world. There are plenty of people who, because of careers, aspirations, emotional availablity, their children, or whatever reasons of their own, do not have time or energy for a relationship, but still want the intimacy of sex. They don't want anything to come of it. They don't want any "gain", they just want sex with someone they find attractive and friendly. They CHOOSE that.

And that's the beautiful thing about this life. We all have our own choices to make, and as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, who cares what anyone else does? What other people do in the bedroom is their choice, their business, and their life. Abuse against anyone is not ok. Rape or assault is not ok. But sex between two consenting adults, whether you agree or not, is between those two people, and only those two can say for sure what is ok.

Everyone's entitled to their choices and preferences. But to say no real man wants a "ready made family"? That is a generalization, and quite untrue. YOU don't want to date a woman with kids, and that's fine. But real men come in all shapes, sizes, and with preferences of their own. Know yourself and let others do the same.

I don't believe having a FWB is "stooping" to a level for a woman. Valuing your body clearly means different things to different people, and that's ok. We all have the right to make the rules for our own lives. For me, valuing my body means I choose what to do with it. I choose who to sleep with, and when, and in what situation. And I choose when it ends. I've never had a FWB because I tend to be a relationship girl; but I don't rule it out, and I do have friends who have had successful FWB situations that have gone smoothly and ended amicably for both parties.

Sure, there's a chance one person will develop feelings that don't get returned. But you risk that when you date someone too. Or, for that matter, when you're friends with people. Who here hasn't been friends with someone who had a crush on you, or vice versa, and it was one-sided?

Avoid telling her where I keep the keys to the handcuffs, lest the fun get spoiled. I kid, I kid.

Honestly, I'm a single mom, and I avoid dating in front of my kids until my girlfriend and I are ready to make a really serious commitment to each other. I don't need my kids looking back on their childhood and remembering a series of "step-moms" coming in and out of their lives.

Aw, you are very kind. Thank you!

Preach it, girl. Same here.

Tehehehe!

Sharing threads is the leading cause of spreading cooties.

Thanks so much!

Thank you!

I would totally use something like this, but modify it so it looks less like a bureaucratic form, and more like a mad lib. Being goodfy to let someone know I like her is more my style. But I love the idea!

Hey, thanks for the constructive feedback! I will take some time and add more details to my profile. This was helpful.

I love everything you said here!

I agree, it depends on what kind of relationship you're looking for. If it's important to you to be able to jet off on a moment's notice trip, then dating a single mom probably isn't for you. I have equal custody of my kids, so there's plenty of time to date during the 50% of the time they aren't with me. Even so, taking a trip or making another large life decision takes some careful planning and coordination between my kids' dad and me. And if there was an emergency and my kids needed me, I would be there regardless of whose night it was to have them, or what other plans I had.

Keep in mind, though, that every single mom is different. There are as many different ways to be a single mom as there are single moms in the world. Some are better at balancing kids and dating than others.

Bottom line--know yourself and what your needs and wants are. You asked if you are being a selfish SOB, and nobody who doesn't know you can answer that. But even if you are, who cares? As long as you're honest about it and don't get into a relationship that you know would make you and/or your partner unhappy.