Hiya Sadie, I'm Connie, it's nice to meet you!

Hi 62, I hope we all talk, alot.

Hi Connie, I am glad to have found this.

Yes, there are many of us here so I hoped it would be a good thing.

You've had a long day huh?

Long..I work at Penneys..lingerie dept. We clean the store after everyone is gone..I mean recovery. I live here in Seattle, siblings abour 30 miles away. They have never had time for me in the way I make time for them. I am learning to not count on it. It has not been easy in many ways. My kids are all out of state, their own lives..etc.
You? your day. I can't even imagine your life. Do you work?

All I would like is a long cool drink of kiss. I never used to share those feelings. I do now, I write them. I feel someone needs to know it is alright to feel..and tell someone. We used to tell someone.

Not sure if I belong here, but I haven't found much of a place TO belong at all...

I was married at 24 in 1996, divorced at 26 in 1999 (before my 27th, birthday..lol). Met a girl later that summer, and we both fell head over heels for each other. Nicole and I dated for more than 3 years, both of us being goofy chickens about getting married "again". Finally got engaged, early 2003. Planned a pretty spiffy wedding reception, the actual wedding was going to be in the Bahamas ("our" favorite place). Well..... just a few months before the wedding... she was heading home from work. She was running late, it was dark, wasn't raining or anything. The police said she probably saw the car before it hit her, but she didn't feel anything. The guy was drunk, hit her head-on at about 85MPH, she was doing 60 or so. Speed limit was 55.

Well, anyway, that's been a few years now. I miss Nicole everyday. She was soooooo amazing, and she was everything I wasn't. For some strange reason, she was just crazy about me, and I always knew how much she loved me. I never felt like that with anyone else, certainly not my first marriage.

I don't go out often, and when I do, I don't "compare" the girl to Nicole. But often times (especially when the date is fun), I'll miss her a lot after the date is over and I'm back at home. Like, "I should be doing all this with her... not someone else.".

My son was quite attached to her, but young enough to the point now where he's 9, and understands Nicole isn't with us, but doesn't really remember everything. He has pictures, though, of course.

I know someday things will be different and I'll meet someone that knocks my socks off. Time is my friend, but sometimes also my enemy. I appreciate this forum to talk, discuss, and read other's stories. Thank you, Connie. (=

For everyone:

I might as well put in my 2 cents in this thread also. I became a widow at the age of 38. My son was 22 months old. On June 6th,it'll be 22 years since my husband commited suicide.I raised my boy by myself and I must admit I did a fine job.God might have taken my soul mate away but he's never completely gone. My son is the spittin' image of his dad,so I see my husband in him everyday.


JaceKnows...you're so right about time being your friend and also sometimes your enemy. So sorry for your lost.

Ok...guess I was in the wrong thread.

To explain my comment:
I have buried my dad in 95, a man I called my second dad in 96 & Gwen in 97.

For me there is a major differance in the pain/grief of losing what I call a TRUE significant other. I was married before & divorced so Gwen & I could be together. She is still the most important person in my life; grandchildren come next. I date, but it is clearly understood by anyone that takes the time to really get to know me, ALL other ladies in my life come after Gwen.
I have been told, several times, "I should get over it; I can feel the same about another." My answer is BULL ****. I will feel as I want & if it doesn't work for you, walk on.

So if I seem hard on this subject, its just the way I am. 14 months after her death, I took a pencil drawing of Gwen & I, reduced it 50% & had her tatoo'd on my left chest. I experienced great peace, the next morning, when I took the covering off. I still enjoy seeing her EVERY morning. I KNOW we will find eachother again.

The opinion & thoughts of an old sage

Hugs ((((SADIE))) (((OLD SAGE))) (((62easy)))) (((Auburngirly)))(((Rainbowtrout)))(((BettyB)))(((aredrosebaby)))(((Cutipieforyou)))(((barefootbaby)))(((Jaceknows)))(((Greyhound)))


And anyone who has suffered a loss. All loss is tramatic and takes a while to tolerate...I say tolerate...not "get over" You never get over it. It is too hurtful and shocking.

From what I have heard from others who have been through the experience, the death of a child is unlike any other deaths.

Hi barefootbaby,
I lost my husband to a massive heart attack too. We were a little prewarned...he had been on a transplant list for over 5 yrs. But, they had told him he had 5 mnths to live when he was first diagnosed. So, we lived a big part of the 5 years with a terrible dark cloud over us...like life had stopped. It is a TERRIBLE feeling and awful way to live. Well, he started on a vtiamin therapy and started looking and feeling better...so I had actually started fooling myself into thinking maybe the doctors were wrong. It had been years not months. So, I let my mind tell me maybe the vitamins have helped heal his heart. This gave me some peace in last year...but, whammed the Sh*t out of me when he died. It wasn't even at home, but hundreds of mile away on a trip. He called me as he was having the heart attack...he called me before 911. He said "I will be late getting back"...then he lost consciousness...I had to dial 911 and have call traced to get him help. He never regained consicousnous. Anyway...to all who have lost someone...you know you never know when you might just burst out in tears...has happened to me driving down the road...shopping at Walmart...reading stuff on here...Sometimes it feels like he is still on that trip...he just never came home...

I can't even imagine that. That would do me in. My heart goes out to anyone that has had that to endure.

I can relate with the triggers; Those things that remind you of them and you never know when one of those will hit you. One of the triggers that hit me was when I was in Walmart and one of the ladies who was serving samples of food treats asked me if i would like one for my wife. It was like bam because according to the wedding certificate we were still married and we didn't have a divorce. I just had to run to the car because I didn't want to embarrass myself like I had done so many times with those grief tears that I couldn't control. You know people look at you trying to help and asking you what is wrong. And you try to explain without chewing their heads off because you don't think they can understand. And you just live through till the next rain showers of tears when some other trigger gets you when you aren't looking. And you never know when its going to come and you feel like you wet yourself but its your shirt soaking wet from crying till you just cry any more and your eyes burn from crying so much. And you pray that you can go a whole day without crying or waking up with a dry pillow. Everything is so intense with emotions and feelings for a while. It is like this big roller coaster ride with high highs and low lows till eventually you can calm down. It is a heck of an experience.

I went down to see my family where they were buried a few days ago and felt better after talking to them and having a good cry.

Jace so horrible

Rainbow I'm sorry

{{{{Greyhound}}}

I'm so glad you came in. Sorry for your loss

{{{{Don}}}

We understand your feelings here. I have since lost both of my parents as well and it is NOT the same thing at all as the loss of a spouse. Losing my mother was very difficult and perhaps there is a need to open another thread for other types of losses as well.

One thing I have noticed for sure is the wedding vows where you sat'till death do us part " is wrong cause death does not part you ,at least emotionally. I know when I first started dating other men which by the way was 10 years lATER ISOMEHOW FELT LIKE i WAS CHEATING ON MY HUSBAND .It is very hard to to change your mindset from to married to single.
Also I would like to say that any time you lose anyone it is very hard and traumatic and everyone grieves at a different pace . I am still morning the loss of my cat as well as family members . when you lost someone you love:hurts !!! and I don,t think it is a competion of who hurts most and which loss is greater .I think this is an indvidual thing for everyone .
Take care everyone ..tonight look at the biggest shinest star and imagine that that is your loved one looking down on you and smiling