100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Question About An Ex | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
I have known this guy for two and a half years and had actually been in a relationship with him for roughly the first four months of our meeting and talking to each other. One reason we ended our relationship was because we lived in seperate states, but we have talked almost everyday, several times a day since we became acquainted. In that time, there's still been a romantic undertone to our "friendship". We have gotten together and slept together on a few occassions since ending our relationship officially.
Our conversations on the phone are filled with playfulness and teasing with him saying to me things like "you know you like it". He moved to yet another state and met someone who he became interested in. I had told him quite some time ago that if he ever found himself wanting to be with someone else that I felt it would be wise for us to back away from talking so much. Again, we talk everyday, several times a day, not just a few times a week. I honestly have never spoken with any friend or boyfriend as much as I talk to him. Married couples don't even talk as much as we do. I told him that if I was the one he was seeing, I would feel uncomfortable knowing he was talking to his ex as much as we do. Well, he took what I said as me saying I wanted to end our friendship and he thought I meant we would never talk, although I felt I was making myself quite clear to him when I said our conversations would be reduced not completely omitted. So, I found out that he had been lying to me about seeing this girl for a while, but he did fess up finally. I know he lied because he ultimately knew what I was going to say about talking so much. I reminded him of what I had told him before, that I didn't want to talk as much now that I knew he was dating someone. He tried to instigate a fight with me again, just like he had done previously when I told him that was what would happen. Basically, my question is, why is it so important to him that we continue to talk everyday, several times a day, even though he's seeing someone else and why possibly wouldn't he understand what I am saying to him that I only mean we should reduce our conversations not end them completely? Any help on this would be greatly appreciated! I'm getting confused.... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Maybe he needed U as a satey net in case she didnt work out!!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
He wants his cake, and eat it too.
Time to move on dear. Liars and cheats do not make for a good relationship. It may hurt for awhile, but you deserve better than that. MO 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
he sounds like a dirtbag to me.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
i've been to Stuebenville ...I believe there are men there, yes?
get some local |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I have known this guy for two and a half years and had actually been in a relationship with him for roughly the first four months of our meeting and talking to each other. One reason we ended our relationship was because we lived in seperate states, but we have talked almost everyday, several times a day since we became acquainted. In that time, there's still been a romantic undertone to our "friendship". We have gotten together and slept together on a few occassions since ending our relationship officially. Our conversations on the phone are filled with playfulness and teasing with him saying to me things like "you know you like it". He moved to yet another state and met someone who he became interested in. I had told him quite some time ago that if he ever found himself wanting to be with someone else that I felt it would be wise for us to back away from talking so much. Again, we talk everyday, several times a day, not just a few times a week. I honestly have never spoken with any friend or boyfriend as much as I talk to him. Married couples don't even talk as much as we do. I told him that if I was the one he was seeing, I would feel uncomfortable knowing he was talking to his ex as much as we do. Well, he took what I said as me saying I wanted to end our friendship and he thought I meant we would never talk, although I felt I was making myself quite clear to him when I said our conversations would be reduced not completely omitted. So, I found out that he had been lying to me about seeing this girl for a while, but he did fess up finally. I know he lied because he ultimately knew what I was going to say about talking so much. I reminded him of what I had told him before, that I didn't want to talk as much now that I knew he was dating someone. He tried to instigate a fight with me again, just like he had done previously when I told him that was what would happen. Basically, my question is, why is it so important to him that we continue to talk everyday, several times a day, even though he's seeing someone else and why possibly wouldn't he understand what I am saying to him that I only mean we should reduce our conversations not end them completely? Any help on this would be greatly appreciated! I'm getting confused.... To be brief, he's a "controller" and it's a way he controls you. Add to he's a liar, too. If he lies about one thing, he'll lie about everything. Run! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
It seems like he wants you just in case. I have been in a similar situation. When he calls just don't answer everytime. If he text you, respond with you are busy or whatever. You don't want to waste your time on someone that is with someone else. Maintain your "friendship" the way that you suggested. If he is a true friend he will understand.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
ReconParty19
on
Thu 07/31/08 01:49 PM
|
|
It takes two to play. Why don't you stop playing the game and not take his calls. Tell him you moved on and so should he! There my 2 cents for what it's worth?
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
fadedmindz
on
Thu 07/31/08 01:49 PM
|
|
no hes just a loser and sounds like he made up this girl he was talking to becuz he is insecure and wanted you o hold on tighter to him. kind of a loser why he have to lie?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Maybe he needed U as a satey net in case she didnt work out!!! Bingo!! Failsafe woman!! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Maybe he needed U as a satey net in case she didnt work out!!! Bingo!! Failsafe woman!! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
CircuitRider
on
Thu 07/31/08 02:00 PM
|
|
Saw the Blonde hair, thought maybe that was it...
THEN... I Perve'd your Profile... My answer now is...  "What was the question again????" Welcome , have fun .. And... Watch out for Wolves... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
...We have gotten together and slept together on a few occassions since ending our relationship officially..... Sex ties up the emotional heartstrings... and it is not correct. Are the both of you positive that you guys as a couple is not going to work out??? If YES... he needs to give his TIME and EMOTIONAL Energy to the one he would like to have a relationship with. Confiding in you is going to hinder him and your future success with other people. Does he listen to your dating stories with other people? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
EMOTIONAL STABILITY
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
When I've told him I was dating someone else a couple times in the past, he gets upset and tries to talk me out of dating that guy. A couple guys I dated, I didn't even tell him about because of how he gets.
When I've tried talking to him about rekindling anything, he gives me "excuses"....like his career takes alot of his time, he's "scared" of commitment, blah, blah, blah. Thing is, I'm cool with not getting serious again, I just don't get the "he's got to string me along, even though he has someone else" idea he has. I'm sure he'll probably tell the new woman the same lines he's told me as to why he won't commit to anything serious...and the "fail safe" answers I'm getting make the most sense. He probably realizes once she sees he's not going to commit to her, she'll most likely tell him to hit the road. I will NOT be around for that! He's always stayed footloose and fancy free since we broke it off officially. He's never had another girlfriend since we broke up and in all the time I've known him, he's never done this to me before, but he'll not do it again. I stopped talking to him altogether the same day he told me he was seeing someone, so I'm not letting him string me along and I haven't spoken to him since. This was just last week when it all happened. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
...We have gotten together and slept together on a few occassions since ending our relationship officially..... Sex ties up the emotional heartstrings... and it is not correct. Are the both of you positive that you guys as a couple is not going to work out??? If YES... he needs to give his TIME and EMOTIONAL Energy to the one he would like to have a relationship with. Confiding in you is going to hinder him and your future success with other people. Does he listen to your dating stories with other people? Actually, I was replying to you in my previous post and hit "quote" rather than "reply". I'm a beginner...sorry bout that!! |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hmmm... he is probably unsure too.
Do you want to continue relations with him? Why would you prefer only limited conversation and why not cutting it off? People are creature of Habits. (I forgot where are heard it from). But a 2 1/2 years habit is very hard to break. Almost addicting. I don't even talk to my mother that much. This is not normal. I think you kinda sense it too. Are you and him ready to cut ties? Is this Phone Filter from everyday drudgery relationship cause you guys to fail in the real world relationship with other people? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
He is addicted to you and you make him feel good to talk to. Im pretty sure that the girl he is in a so call relationship doesnt do that and bascially satify him in the physical sense.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
sounds like he not only got the booty he got the call's too....be respectful of your feeling but more of yourself,alot of men use for there own gain
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Maybe he needed U as a satey net in case she didnt work out!!! An ex once told me he always has to have a plan B. |
|
|
|
|
