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What's a matter Miles? Do you think God doesn't know about the nature She creates? Everybody gets all reverent about God, but in truth God is far beyond that. Dogmatic religions are the only ones that make a sham of the human body. God doesn't care about the physical. God's interested in spirit. Only immature humans giggle and make fund of human body parts. Do you think the devil made your penis? 
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What's a matter Miles? Do you think God doesn't know about the nature She creates? Everybody gets all reverent about God, but in truth God is far beyond that. Dogmatic religions are the only ones that make a sham of the human body. God doesn't care about the physical. God's interested in spirit. Only immature humans giggle and make fund of human body parts. Do you think the devil made your penis?
oh no. maybe i did not use the politically correct antimated Icon. I wonder wish one i should of uuussseeddd???? huh.. Yea That's it |
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What's a matter Miles? Do you think God doesn't know about the nature She creates? Everybody gets all reverent about God, but in truth God is far beyond that. Dogmatic religions are the only ones that make a sham of the human body. God doesn't care about the physical. God's interested in spirit. Only immature humans giggle and make fund of human body parts. Do you think the devil made your penis?
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Oh I get it..
You wanted.. Abra..YOU ARE GOING TO HELL TO HELL DID YOU HEAR ME REPENT, (MORE EMPHASIS) REPENT To HELL you HEAR ME ABRA YOU SINNER .. (more EMPHASIS AND A LITTLE MORE) BURN BURN BURN..      Is that better Mr. Abra Man
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Oh I get it.. You wanted.. Abra..YOU ARE GOING TO HELL TO HELL DID YOU HEAR ME REPENT, (MORE EMPHASIS) REPENT To HELL you HEAR ME ABRA YOU SINNER .. (more EMPHASIS AND A LITTLE MORE) BURN BURN BURN.. Is that better Mr. Abra Man
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Edited by
Krimsa
on
Wed 11/19/08 05:15 PM
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I was reminded of something I heard a long time ago. It was actually said by a comedian, don't remember his name, but it came back to memory. "What if all those people you see on the streets talking to themselves are just reluctant prophets?" It got me thinking, and as this place is filled with people who have seemed to studied a lot of religion and even those of different types, I wanted to see some opinions along these lines. Why aren't there any more prophets? Do we just not listen anymore, or did God stop speaking directly to us? Can't wait to see what you all think. Prophecies dont foretell anything. They are ridiculous and made up by crazy people. One of the scariest things in Christianity is this infatuation with biblical prophecy and this notion that Jesus is going to come back as an avenging savior to kill all the bad people. This is why I am installing "Jesus Proof Fencing" around my property. Just in case any of that crap comes to pass, I want no part of it because it will be that much more irritating to deal with if any of it ends up actually occurring.
case in point: In Genesis God says that if Adam eats from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, then the day that he does so, he will die. But later Adam eats the forbidden fruit, and yet lives for another 930 years.
As a punishment for killing Abel, God says Cain will be "a fugitive and a vagabond." Yet in just a few verses, Cain will settle down, marry, have a son, and build a city. This is not the activity one would expect from a fugitive and a vagabond. None of these prophecies ever happen and especially in the bible because people forget what they write I guess.
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I was reminded of something I heard a long time ago. It was actually said by a comedian, don't remember his name, but it came back to memory. "What if all those people you see on the streets talking to themselves are just reluctant prophets?" It got me thinking, and as this place is filled with people who have seemed to studied a lot of religion and even those of different types, I wanted to see some opinions along these lines. Why aren't there any more prophets? Do we just not listen anymore, or did God stop speaking directly to us? Can't wait to see what you all think. Prophecies dont foretell anything. They are ridiculous and made up by crazy people. One of the scariest things in Christianity is this infatuation with biblical prophecy and this notion that Jesus is going to come back as an avenging savior to kill all the bad people. This is why I am installing "Jesus Proof Fencing" around my property. Just in case any of that crap comes to pass, I want no part of it because it will be that much more irritating to deal with if any of it ends up actually occurring.
case in point: In Genesis God says that if Adam eats from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, then the day that he does so, he will die. But later Adam eats the forbidden fruit, and yet lives for another 930 years.
As a punishment for killing Abel, God says Cain will be "a fugitive and a vagabond." Yet in just a few verses, Cain will settle down, marry, have a son, and build a city. This is not the activity one would expect from a fugitive and a vagabond. None of these prophecies ever happen and especially in the bible because people forget what they write I guess.
Now who is the fanatic? This is why I am installing "Jesus Proof Fencing" around my property. What is this a 100k volt fence and lock your self in.. Adam did die. He is not still with us. he lived 930 years when he should still be alive. Now I did not see you question living 930 years. That is a little hard to believe but I guess you believe it. Cain was marked so that no one could kill him. I prefer a deep cave with a 100 ton door. so if a nuclear bomb goes off i can repopulate the world. maybe. Like over in Europe where the govt. i believe has sponcered such a thing that has every seed thier is of plants and such so if we destroy each other and some live they will beable to replant.. I want to replant and be a garner. Thats my spoofing 
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You dont have enough testicular fortitude to repopulate anything, let alone the entire planet.
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Oh I get it.. You wanted.. Abra..YOU ARE GOING TO HELL TO HELL DID YOU HEAR ME REPENT, (MORE EMPHASIS) REPENT To HELL you HEAR ME ABRA YOU SINNER .. (more EMPHASIS AND A LITTLE MORE) BURN BURN BURN.. Is that better Mr. Abra Man
Well, doesn't it say somewhere in the Bible that we're supposed to go to God as little children? If you can't even make fun of a penis you're not very childlike. 
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Edited by
MorningSong
on
Wed 11/19/08 05:54 PM
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Ah yes, but the bible also gives warning to watch for "false prophets" who will preach falsely of the word. It's kind of a nice catch they put in so we wouldn't look for "new" prophets and put all of our faith in just the old ones. A Catch 22 if you will. RoamingOrator.. God said, ...."My Sheep Hear My Voice and the Voice of a Stranger They will Not Follow "..... Roaming Orator... After We Become Saved, We don't have to walk around wondering or fearing.... simply because God's Holy Spirit Now Indwelling Us... Now Guides Us and Leads Us Into ALL Truth.... and Will Also Let's Us Know whether we are hearing a false prophet or a true prophet. Hope this helps... Be Blessed Now. 
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I think Cain married a monkey and that is why they never named Mrs. Cain in the bible. He had children with a female chimp and that explains why we have all these human transitional fossils on record now.
Thats my prophecy I tell ya. |
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You dont have enough testicular fortitude to repopulate anything, let alone the entire planet.
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Oh I get it.. You wanted.. Abra..YOU ARE GOING TO HELL TO HELL DID YOU HEAR ME REPENT, (MORE EMPHASIS) REPENT To HELL you HEAR ME ABRA YOU SINNER .. (more EMPHASIS AND A LITTLE MORE) BURN BURN BURN.. Is that better Mr. Abra Man
Well, doesn't it say somewhere in the Bible that we're supposed to go to God as little children? If you can't even make fun of a penis you're not very childlike.
Abra I guess I have an odd sence of humor. I have tried on several threads and everyone takes me so serious. I am probally one of the most carefree people on here. I thought u understood my humor.. Oh how is grandpappy chimpzo? |
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Edited by
Krimsa
on
Wed 11/19/08 06:11 PM
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"And Cain knew his wife." That's nice, but where the hell did she come from? The bible doesn't mention any of Cain's sisters. Well, maybe he married his mom. In any case, Cain and the mysterious Mrs. Cain have a son. His name is Enoch and he builds a city (population 3).
It was a chimp! They just dont come out with it but I can read between the lines. Even Enoch sounds like a chimp's name! And you know what that means Miles? Only Christians are descended of monkeys! Everyone else is made of sugar and spice and everything nice. You are a smelly ape! |
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"And Cain knew his wife." That's nice, but where the hell did she come from? The bible doesn't mention any of Cain's sisters. Well, maybe he married his mom. In any case, Cain and the mysterious Mrs. Cain have a son. His name is Enoch and he builds a city (population 3). It was a chimp! They just dont come out with it but I can read between the lines. Even Enoch sounds like a chimp's name! was it's name Grandpa Abra?
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"And Adam knew his wife again; and she bare a son." Way to go Adam! There sure is a lot of carnal "knowing" going on in the bible. Its better than a Pent House Forum.
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Genesis 38
38:9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother. 38:10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also. This part of the story you wont be hearing in Sunday school. |
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Edited by
Milesoftheusa
on
Wed 11/19/08 06:29 PM
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In the beginning was a chimp. Now this chimp was named Abra. What a nice name it was. Abra had a little thing that was his toy.. Oh Yes it was . Then one day The Great Chimp said Abra my chimpy. I want you to name all your friends and take one for your wife.
Oh yea . So the Chimp Abra who played with his little thing went about naming his friends. He heard something he never heard before. Ba ba ba moaned the animal. Little thing Abra went to see what it was. It said again ba ba ba.. I am going to call you my Sheep said Abra. Now I want you as my wife as the Grand Chimp told me so. Now the Grand chimp said My little playing Abra Chimp. Now that you have a wife I want you to populate the world you see. I can do that said Abra? Yes why did you think I give you a Toy that you are so fond of.. Goody Goody said Abra. Now the grand Chimpy said go make yourself some pointy boots. Why said the little Abra .. Just do as I say. So the Little Abra went and made himself and put the pointy boots on. His sheepy wife came over and said “ I suppose you are looking for me’ Why said Abra. I heard what the grand Chimpy said. Lets just get it over with. So The Little Abra’s wife backed up to him. And said now put me in the front of your boots my Husband Abra with the Little Chimpy. Why said the Little Abra.. So I can not get away. Ahh I understand now said the Little Abra with The Little toy he loved so Much. Then we heard Bahh Bahhh Bahhh.. Next thing we knowe we have a Little Black Chimpy sheep. So the next time you play with a little Lamb Now you Can Remember GrandPappy Abra and all he did for Thee |
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Leviticus 18
Dont have sex with animals because its confusing. 18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion. Arent you ever embarrassed to be a Christian? |
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Edited by
Milesoftheusa
on
Wed 11/19/08 06:38 PM
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Leviticus 18 Dont have sex with animals because its confusing. 18:23 Neither shalt thou lie with any beast to defile thyself therewith: neither shall any woman stand before a beast to lie down thereto: it is confusion. Arent you ever embarrassed to be a Christian? Now now I am not a chr-stian do not want to be. you all were having fun I can't. Anyway you can not see just from what you read on these boards that our creator has a sence of Humor?
anyway isn't a chimpzo and a sheep 2 animals? |
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