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| Topic: How Do You Forgive? | |
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Edited by
hereformore
on
Sun 05/10/09 12:55 PM
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I have read through the replies and I make note of the fact that, for the most part, men are less likely to forgive a woman for infidelity than women are to forgive men. My husband cheated on me less than one year into our marriage and to make matters worse, if that's possible, I was expecting our daughter. I don't think that there is any worse gut wrenching feeling. I chose to stay with my husband, although I never got over the pain of his cheating. One thing that he (husband) told me after his cheating was that if I ever cheated on him he would leave me. I never did cheat on him, not because of his threat but because of my vows and my beliefs/morals. My divorce attorney told me recently that he has been doing divorces for 20 years and many men see infidelity as a casual thing, when committed by a man, but when a woman cheats.....game on! I did not do anything in my marriage "to make" my husband cheat. Each person is responsible for their own actions, bottom line. Many people look for justification for things such as infidelity. In retrospect, I should have left a long time ago, but better late than never.
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I don't believe you have to forgive them for cheating. They chose to leave the relationship. All you can do is own your mistakes and learn from them. Moving forward will follow.
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Let's see...the way I did it in my past life (when I was married) was to take it repeatedly for 12 years and keep forgiving. I'm pretty sure that I understand the mechanics of opening the door now...and one of us would be walking through it! An addendum to my former reply... opening the door doesn't mean I don't forgive them or myself. It just means that forgiveness comes without the opportunity for repeat performances. Forgiving is part of the healing for yourself. |
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 How do you forgive your boyfriend/girlfriend if he/she cheats on you? Not staying angry, releasing those negative feelings from myself, by not try to get back at them. |
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 thats up to each person either you decide you want to forgive or you don't
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In order to forgive you have to forget. I've yet to meet a woman that can truelly forget. I once had a woman wake me up in the middle of the night asking about something I'd said 9 months before. I ended that relationship the next morning.
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Even if you can convince yourself that you've forgiven him, you'll never forget it. It'll always be in the back of your mind. You'll always be curious, worried, and full of doubt. It's a lot quicker and easier to just end it and move on without him. At least that's been my experience with it.
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I have read through the replies and I make note of the fact that, for the most part, men are less likely to forgive a woman for infidelity than women are to forgive men. My husband cheated on me less than one year into our marriage and to make matters worse, if that's possible, I was expecting our daughter. I don't think that there is any worse gut wrenching feeling. I chose to stay with my husband, although I never got over the pain of his cheating. One thing that he (husband) told me after his cheating was that if I ever cheated on him he would leave me. I never did cheat on him, not because of his threat but because of my vows and my beliefs/morals. My divorce attorney told me recently that he has been doing divorces for 20 years and many men see infidelity as a casual thing, when committed by a man, but when a woman cheats.....game on! I did not do anything in my marriage "to make" my husband cheat. Each person is responsible for their own actions, bottom line. Many people look for justification for things such as infidelity. In retrospect, I should have left a long time ago, but better late than never. That's essentially my story as well. |
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How do you forgive your boyfriend/girlfriend if he/she cheats on you?  OK, I guess maybe just dump their bad azzes, and move on. LOL,how ya been Mirror...? 
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How do you forgive your boyfriend/girlfriend if he/she cheats on you? With time but ... I will not be with that person anymore |
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Even if you can convince yourself that you've forgiven him, you'll never forget it. It'll always be in the back of your mind. You'll always be curious, worried, and full of doubt. It's a lot quicker and easier to just end it and move on without him. At least that's been my experience with it. My point exactly! Women are not able to forget and therefore cannot truelly forgive. Hell hath no fury... |
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Edited by
Poetrywriter
on
Mon 05/25/09 08:12 PM
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How do you forgive your boyfriend/girlfriend if he/she cheats on you? If it's a boyfriend, just say "Do you know who Lorena (chop chop) Bobbitt is?" If it's a girlfriend, just say "Do you love me? You do? Well, you are not Lorena Bobitt are you cause I'm gonna go do what you just did since you seem to think it is ok!" Oops! You said forgive! In that case, just say "I forgive you and I hope your NEXT BF/GF will also! Goodbye!" |
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