Bowie's Fall Dog Bombs the Moon is playing in the background as I look outside at the pathetic excuse for rain that's making an ever-so-feeble attempt to make the grass wet.

I'm supposed to be writing an Introduction to the fourth book, and it isn't going well. It all sounds like camel spleen recipes from Uzbekistan or something. "Take the spleen, soak it in olive oil, then chop it up with a big machete and bake in the oven at 450 degrees for 12 hours. Add cinnamon." That doesn't sound like any book introduction I've ever read. Then again, I've never read a cookbook.

There are days it just really doesn't flow, days when getting a decent paragraph out is roughly as difficult as convincing my ex-wife that the word "ghosts" only has one syllable. "Ghost-es," she would say. I once asked her how you spell ghostes, and she said G-H-O-S-T-E-S-T -- turning a plural into a superlative. Nice job, sweetie.

Which doesn't help me with my current dilemma, but that's OK because, today, it's all about the procrastination....

Lol

Take the day off and then return to writing

Nothing wrong with random musings.

How do you think I came up with that story idea??? lmao

If coming up with THAT wasn't random, I don't know what is.

Like you said, Lex. Some days it just doesn't flow.

Maybe I should just pull a "Standard Dating Site Profile" type introduction for the book and have:

"I don't know what to write here. Anything you want to know, you'll have to ask."

Of course, then I'll have to say something about how I'm laid back and easy going....

Thank god someone else is experiencing a bout of procrastination. I have done so ALL day long. Now I don't feel so guilty about it.

I have these days every now and then. Most days, the words just flow; then, there are days like today, when there's some sort of literary obstruction and it just comes out sounding like Gilbert Gottfried in a blender.

Oooooh, another recipe....

First, you are spending WAY to much time with Fear. Take the spleen indeed.

Next, ok so I did that just to peeve you because I should have said second. Clear your mind and imagine writing what you'd really love to say. Use cuss words, jokes, just write.

Thirdly, Can I see what you wrote?

I am as helpful as **** on a bull. Sorry Lex but I'll bet it made you smile.

OMG!!!

Thanks a LOT, Lex.

Now, for the next couple of hours, when I try to type something in the ' inner voice ', I am going to hear Gilbert's voice saying it.

DAMMIT!!!!

Yeah, you have a tendency to do that....!

As for Fear -- little known fact, he is my one male Mutual Match! How did that happen? I don't know, TMZ is looking into it, and I'm sure they'll have something lurid and morbid to say about it. I don't think Harvey likes me.

Actually, the thing I was trying to write is just a little 2-page intro to a collection of short stories and poems. But rather than write THAT, I keep going off on tangents about how I have an idea for an 8th book and what I'm going to put in it.

I have a short attention span, and some days it gets REAL short....!

Spend the time inventing a hand powered wanking machine. That ought to get the creative juices flowing.

Try the "Next" recommendation or the artist formerly know as Second. How would you Lex introduce the collection? What do you want me to know about the stories and poems. Why would I care? Talk to me.

Ih he says "AFLAC," it should be fine.

You want to hear something funny? -- talking about the AFLAC duck -- OK, so you have this horse named Philip, right? About 5 years ago, I wrote this thing about a guy who had a duck, and the duck's name was Philip of Burgundy.

Lex. Why not have someone else write the intro?? Or is it supposed to be a " reflective " type of intro?

SEE!?!?!?!

I haven't even read that ' thing ' and I have something that sounds like something someone else wrote!!!

If I had decided to use a duck ( which wouldn't have fit into a fantasy story....well...a normal one anyway ) I would have just scrapped the whole thing. LOL

Sheesh.

LMAO

Weird, why am I getting women in my search selections? I should choose one of them as a mutual match and see what happens...lol

Well, the thing is that all of my books (thus far) tie together in various ways -- I'm trying to convey a sense of "temporal linearity" within the confines of an overriding continuity (which is a real mess when I keep screwing around with the order of the events) --

I guess the real issue is I just don't know anyone who has a grasp of the material to the extent that they'd be able to write the intro -- and maybe partly because I know (sort of) where it's all going to end up, and nobody else does....

Ah ok. Just curious.

Your writing, like the rain, makes an ever-so-feeble attempt....coincidence?

I don't know -- I mean, I thought the post came out all right. I think it conveyed what I was trying to get at. But when I started trying to write the intro -- ouch. Focal issues, heh.