You know when a marriage breaks down, kids involved, and you didn't end
it. But for the sake of your kids, you move out and live by yourself?
You get to see your kids regularly no problem.
Then after being alone for several years, you meet someone online who
lives thousands of miles away.
What starts out as just a friendship blossoms into love, or so you are
led to believe. Then you learn that this person that you have fallen in
love with is not interested anymore and just wants to remain friends.
Well. You feel that you can handle that, and then just a few days later,
they say that they can't handle just being friends and that they really
do love you and the relationship begins again only to grow stronger, in
your mind.
Intimate details are shared between you (admittedly, only online)
You have made plans several times to meet but it seems that
circumstances make this seem impossible.
Then out of the blue, this person tells you again that they don't want
to carry on because of the distance and your financial situation.
They say that they don't want to have any more contact with you.
Do you think they have just been playing headgames with you?

I hear you, uk, and yes, it sucks having that feeling that you are being
played, but hey, Ive been there a few times, but you see, I'm still on
here, well, trying my luck.
All I can say is that, dont let those people ruin your life.
Life is great and enjoy it, in many ways.
In time, when you are not expecting, true love will come to you.
I wish you the best!



again,
PATIENCE is a VIRTUE.

Uk....

Let me first say that I am sorry if your in pain because of this. It
seems to me....looking from the outside in, that she's not sure what she
really wants from you. She keeps changing her mind which is not fair to
you at all. Could you live with just being her friend? I'm not sure
about that. Like I said, I know basically nothing of this only can judge
from my own personal experience.

I hope that you can work through all of this.


Joanne

Sounds like it Tom, if you are having these kind of problems already it
is a good indicator that it is time to end it.

I can't say for sure, but I think it's very likely that she is dealing
with a lot of confusion in her own life, and, for whatever reason,
simply hasn't stabilized to the point where she can make a decision and
stick with it.

To assume that this is a situation where she is simply playing head
games requires that you believe she necessarily is operating from a
standpoint of insensitivity and self-centeredness. Which could, in
fact, be the case, but I generally feel it's unwise to make that sort of
assumption without a lot of very clear evidence.

I will say this: you can be glad that, if this thing is simply never
going to go anywhere, you found out NOW before you actually met and
spent time together -- as hard as it may be to deal with this situation,
it can be a whole lot worse to step away once you've been with the
person.

And I don't want to minimize what you're going through in any way --
attachments develop and grow (and persist) where and when we least
expect them sometimes. All I'm saying is it could have been worse....

Hi UK,

Wow, that really sucks. It does appear that some people are into head
games, both online and off, which is unfair to those who are decent,
honest and straightforward. It's up to you whether you want to stay
friends with this person or not, although IMHO anyone who plays games
with someone else's heart is not anyone I'd choose to be friends with.
Just my two cents...

Here's hoping you're feeling better soon.

Best wishes from SheNerd :)

Tom, don't take it personally! A lot of times these people are just
losers that want some kind of ficticious relationship and never really
want it to go any further. Most likely she was lieing to you the whole
time, not only about her wanting to meet you but also, her life, her
feeling, what type of person she was, etc... (the list goes on and
on)...

Long story short, if you did ever meet her she wouldn't even be the
person that she painted in your mind (and there's a damn good chance you
wouldn't even recognize her from her picture)..

In my experience I feel it very unwise to commit to anyone without
meeting them in person and spending some time first. This is a cyber
world were everything is based off of assumption. Far from the world of
reality. The human being seems to be being replaced with a computer
substitute and real communication suffers desperatly.

The human condition is in a sad state.

I met and married a man off the internet. I grew to love him, his words
and his ways. Sad part is I still do.
He decided he didn't want to be married anymore after a couple of months
and asked that I file for divorce, I did.
Now I'm alone again as always.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I didn't gain anything in the long
run, but at least I can say I did try.
So, I guess I have to say that I do believe in some online
relationships. I was and still am willing to try with him, so I can't
say it was a total loss.
I'm going to shut up now, I just hope you got my meaning.
Whether it's with this one or not, keep trying.
Good Luck.
PMS

I get where you are coming from sluggo, maybe she had been lying, maybe
she hadn't.Guess I'll never know. But there were certain aspects about
her life which I don't think could have been lied about. I won't go into
that because I'm not that sort of person.

No UK!

They are prolly confused....


being human is not an easy journey

Uk...

I hope that your coping and that every day that passes you feel better
and stronger.


Joanne

I agree with sluggo

(did i say that ...LOL)

long distance...hard to work thru that...

How safe is online dating? For me I had a on line date though we never
met. Every thing was peachy then suddenly one day I told the guy I had
some Cerepalsy. Well the idoit made fun of me & right then & there I
knew he wasn't Mr. Right. I told him offf in the next letter to me he
appoligized to me. Of course being a good Christian I forgave him. We
went our seperate ways & then I got involved with a severley CP. male
from the same site. I know nothing.will ever come of that
relationship.. He and I will remain good friends, so this makes me
question whether if it's safe to interdate or not? And espepecially the
other dangers of internet dating, so who wants to answer my question?
Luvey1950

dating..? first establish a good friendship.. i mean whoooaaa.. stop and
think.. anyone can type and say all of the things you want to hear.. I
am not saying but up walls, just saying be smart about what your
intentions are.. if you do like someone and maybe think that this is
what you want..? (very rarely we know what we want, we just want someone
else to make us happy)..
think clearly and throughly about everything.. because if some one shows
their faults from the beginning they are probably being honest.. the
ones that seem so perfect and perfect are ussualy hiding from their
problems.. but never give on your friends.. be there.. but soo many ties
now days (that I have gotten older) it sees that i should on the first
date bring a resume. what.. we all have faults.. and no one is perfect..
the ones that seem perfect ussually have the most to worry about..?

lol.. i have no faults.. not one..lmao

If you have never met, HOW can you cry LOVE?
How long has this been going on?

This is a major problem of puter dating, to me.
People never meet & think all of thi is real. How NEEDY is that. How
can a grown adult person, not realize that until you meet, this is all
smoke & dreams. As shown by several known relationships on this site,
first meetings are often the last.
REALITY shows thru the smoke & dreams.
UK feel for you, but just can't reach you.

Heve never under stood situations like this, defies COMMOM SENSE

good thoughts brokenheart and lex.
since no one seems to know the details how can anyone judge what was
going on. only the people involved truly know. UK i think you do know
the truth.

I wonder who is playing head games.

I agree with you as well broken and lex.

One thing I have never tried to and never would do is play headgames.
It's not in my nature.
All you have to do is read my profile to see that.
If someone else chooses to end it. Then I accept the decision.
Life moves on.

Hang in there brotha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOu still got your friends man