first, I do not know why you would be embarrassed to sweat if you played basketball; EVERYBODY sweats when they play basketball.

second, I suggest you do not lump all "fat girls" ito one group, as I could introduce yu to several that would embarrass you immediately by proving you wrong in your statement that no fat girl would agree to do this.

and third, it is only an automatic comment on weight to those who are looking for an excuse to claim discrimination, or injury of some sort against another person. NOT EVERYBODY automatically thinks about their own weight when a friend of theirs suggests doing some kind of activity that requires, well active participation.

And just so you are aware, I am currently 100-125 pounds over weight myself, and have two bad knees and a messed up back myself (hence using those examples earlier for why someone would not want to do something like lift weights or play basketball). however,I CAN and DO do other activities such as walking, playing with my kids, dancing (htough I dont let anyone see me lol).

I am not trying to sound rude or mean here, but you played very fast and very loose with claiming every "fat girl" would agree with you and back you up; I understood that to mean any fat PERSON, not just women. And in my own opinion, if you ARE someone who automatically thinks "oh they are just trying to make a backhand remark about my weight" Iwould highly reccomend counseling or something, as you are obviously over sensitive about it to begin with. Again, just my own opinion, and not meant to be insulting.

* squeak squeak squeak *

Hate to break it to you, dude....but doing what you are suggesting IS, in fact, manipulation.

You may not be demanding that they do something....but you are " cleverly ", if not " unscrupulously " controlling the other person by trying to turn them into what you WANT them to be rather than who they ARE.

Setting out to make a person do something they wouldn't do anyway, just because you want them to, is manipulating that person.

By the way...knowing that it most certainly WOULD be over if they didn't do what you want...that actually IS unscrupulous.

O.K. We all get your points. Both of you have spoken your piece, and very articulately I might add. Time to move on before someone gets hurt. Kiss and make up.

I am not going to sit here and debate the American English language with you. Suffice it to say, that it is not manipulative, controlling or anything. Suggesting someone go with you to the gym to work out, or play basketball, or skate, dance, hike along the river or beach, any number of activities that require physical exertion is just the same as asking them to go to the movies or dinner.

The only way this could possibly be considered manipulative, or controlling is if you added the phrase, "or else" or something along those lines.

Good day to you.

eeewwwwwwwww lol

I have as much, if not more of a grasp on the " English language " as you do, my friend.

Don't try to sit there and insult my intelligence like I am someone who is beneath you.


This...

The only way this could possibly be considered manipulative, or controlling is if you added the phrase, "or else" or something along those lines.

...is exactly what I was referring to when I said that it is unscrupulous if YOU know that if the person doesn't do what you want you will leave, no matter if you actually speak those words or not.

No matter how may technicalities you want you use in the language, it's still wrong.

Keep in mind...this whole thing was based on a post from a guy who had gone out with someone exactly twice, had sex with her once, and wondered if it would be rude to tell her she's too fat for his taste.

Depends on how you ask!!!

Let the testosterone flow!!!!!!!!! When will this madness end? Okay, you're both right. Can we move on now?

Hey, don't ruin a good cat fight, it was almost getting to handbags at 50 paces!

Yeah, except that they're both guys!

Ummm, that was the joke, that "they're" both guys but I was referring to them as.... ah forget it!

LOL, naahhhh nowhere even close :-P

Perhaps dueling pistols at 20 paces???? lmao

Sorry, guess that one went right over my head. I get it now.

now your REALLY getting cold hun. Start talking pop tarts at 5 paces (just close enough I can snatch his and run away) and we will be getting somewhere

If it is just because of her looks yes. If the only reason is concern for her health then no. Don't push or critize if she is trying just encourage. If you think she has lost even just 5 pounds say something nice about it.

If you are asking her because you don't like the way she looks then you should ask yourself what is it about her that you really love and can you love her for how she is on the outside just as much as on the inside. If you don't find yourself physical attracted to her as she is now may be you should not be with her.

very well put hun! Here, have Biglife's poptart that I just swiped

I think Daniel likes to argue, no matter the topic.