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Topic: I just don't love him enough yet
HasidicEnforcer's photo
Wed 09/02/09 10:14 PM
and I don't think I ever will.

His son is already excited to be a part of my life and can't wait to meet me.

They already acknowledge me as the new step mom.

But lately, I just don't feel the same about him anymore. I don't know what happened. I don't know if it was his constant pushing for us to move in together, or his need to call me all the time, not really caring if I was sleeping or not.

He reminds me every day about how just a week ago I was cheerful and chipper on the phone and now I am just blah.

He doesn't give me enough time to digest what I have to deal with in my daily life, before I even BEGIN to deal with his added stressors.

He insults my daughter's father, which, no matter who horrid a person he was, the only person with the right to insult him or talk bad about him is ME and our Daughter.

He stresses me out.

He is pushing me away.

And I have been advised by my lawyer to go seek a therapist before my stress overwhelms my heart condition.

He is trying too hard.

Telling me he will fight for me to get my daughter back. Dude, she is my daughter. I know what I need to do to get her back and when everything is RIGHT, I will. If I do it now, she will get really badly hurt. So back off because this is my problem.

What really pisses me off is he is so gun-ho about being all wrapped up in my custody drama, yet when I ask him about his son's custody and tell him my concerns about him moving so far away, he jumps all over my a$$ and tells me to mind my own business that he will deal with it.

I really am starting to think I should have listened to someone really close to me. But I thought that he was just out to try to sabatoge my new relationship.

I guess he was right.

I want to leave, but I don't know how to because now there is a child involved. His son. THANK JEBUS he never met my daughter.

*sigh* I really don't know what to do or who to turn to.

I am just so friggin tired and stressed out.

IndnPrncs's photo
Wed 09/02/09 10:17 PM
(((HE))) does he live in your town/state or elsewhere? Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it.. His son hasn't met you yet.. In my opinion his son shouldn't have been involved this soon.. You can't go through with something you're not feeling.. He sounds like a control freak.. He can say what he wants and you can say what he wants.... Sounds like a match made in hel1, I'd run, not walk but run in the other direction...

no photo
Wed 09/02/09 10:20 PM
That sounds overwhelmingly stressful.



Is there any part of the relationship that you enjoy?



Sounds like the negatives far outweigh any slight chance of hope that there is even a positive.



How long has the relationship lasted?

alicat4213's photo
Wed 09/02/09 10:22 PM
He sounds like my ex..I pray to god for your sake it's not the same person.. You need to get outta that relationship love before it gets bad.

Skatefluckit's photo
Wed 09/02/09 10:25 PM
what a tragedy...

you know what you need in your life? some skatefluckit.:banana:

id make things better.bigsmile

HasidicEnforcer's photo
Wed 09/02/09 10:26 PM
I know, (((Princess)))

but here's the thing.

i am too scared.

I mean, I am pretty sure I have hidey places with my friends.

and my ex has already let me know that the minute I feel threatened, he will buy me a ticket to live with him and my daughter ASAP cause he hates seeing me scared. After all, if a 6'4" ex-Mossad didn't scare me, he knows that if I am showing fear and crying, that I am truly scared.

the last few conversations I had with baby's father I was crying and he could see the fear and stress just written all over my face. And even though we tend to really hate each other and throw really low blows, he has always hated to see me cry and get close to psychotic breakdowns.

so if the man that destroyed my happy family is coming to my rescue, it is worse than i thought.

my family hasn't met him yet. they actually like him so far.

and no, he doesn't live where i am. but he is ready to move here like yesdterday, ya know?

my nerves are shot. I have had insomnia and now have bouts of lethargy.

I lost my appetite.

yesterday I almost checked myself into the hospital because my heart was giving me problems cause of the stress I am under.

i can't do this.

I have told him this. I have told him he needs to relax and give me room to breath, that he is stressing me out and giving me migraines and making my heart worse.

and what does he do? he just doesn't call me for one night.

idk, (((princess)))


i just really don't

IndnPrncs's photo
Wed 09/02/09 10:29 PM
Darlin' only you are in charge of your destiny... You can call the police and get a restraining order if you're that scared, you have family there you can stay with them a few days or have them stay with you...

I would remove myself as quickly as possible...

artman48's photo
Wed 09/02/09 10:30 PM
Your young yet. Dump the guy. Not a big deal. Find an old fart like me === But with a sh-t load of money. You may not be happy-- But you can buy stuff to ease the pain smokin

HasidicEnforcer's photo
Wed 09/02/09 10:35 PM
Edited by HasidicEnforcer on Wed 09/02/09 10:36 PM

That sounds overwhelmingly stressful.



Is there any part of the relationship that you enjoy?

yes. his laughter. and when he calls me princess.



Sounds like the negatives far outweigh any slight chance of hope that there is even a positive.



How long has the relationship lasted? not long enough for me to want to stay in this situation. long enough to make it very difficult to leave.

nvkikigirl's photo
Wed 09/02/09 10:57 PM
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It sounds so very stressful indeed. I am sending positive thoughts your way... flowerforyou

HasidicEnforcer's photo
Wed 09/02/09 11:06 PM
*thank you*flowerforyou

LewisW123's photo
Thu 09/03/09 04:03 AM


my family hasn't met him yet. they actually like him so far.




Not if they read this.

no photo
Thu 09/03/09 05:27 AM
OMG, what a perfect time so tell him, "I need some space"
Because it sounds like you really do, and re-evaluate this relationship.
For your own peace of mind.

flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 09/03/09 05:41 AM
When I feel stressed.....I think of bunnies....



















It doesn't really help....but it makes me smile......if only for a second

lilith401's photo
Thu 09/03/09 08:55 AM
Just pointing out the obvious... you know this..

If he doesn't live near you or with you, you're not leaving anything. You are just choosing to stop taking his calls for a bit. Or forever, your choice. Send him a letter, and give yourself some down time.

What are you more scared of, breaking up with him or living with him and truly letting him into your life? I'd be more scared of the latter.

And, as an aside.... who fights a custody battle if they are planning on moving away????

GRIFFIN_LIZZARD's photo
Thu 09/03/09 09:03 AM
HasidicEnforcer I hope it all works out for you, Sorry for the pain you are going through...flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 09/03/09 09:07 AM
My dear follow your heart and mind, It sounds like U know what to do but am afraid of doing it, U dont want to be miserable all your life!!flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 09/03/09 09:15 AM
Don't push the river...

ledi180's photo
Thu 09/03/09 09:19 AM
IF IT WERE ME - I'd make him understand, clearly, that I needed space and time OR he'd lose me - plain and simple. It's a hard conversation to have but if you're not ready to throw it all away, you need to be specific with him on what you want and need. GL

JasmineInglewood's photo
Thu 09/03/09 09:19 AM
excuse me if i'm over-simplifying here...

but i don't see why you can't just end it and tell him to leave you alone. he's obviously being way too pushy (which isn't a good sign), using his kid to draw you in (a kid, by the way, who isn't YOUR responsibility but his), making you unhappy and scared....

this seems like one of those no-brainer scenarios to me ohwell

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