Has anyone been shocked by finding out that a friend is gay. Did it change your friendship?

no...it would not change mine...I have gay friends...

I have a lot of gay "men" friends

So do I but has finding out shocked you?

some of my best friends are gay

but I wouldn't want my sister to marry one

I guess I wasn't shocked since I already knew.

Never knew anyone for a long time and didn't know.


Wait, why is this in dating? Were you dating someone and either they or you found out?

Yeah, but we all knew he was gay...wasn't exactly a "shocker".

Didn't change the friendship at all.

I had a friend while growing up who was gay one week straight the next, couldn't make up his mind. The sick thing was that he was 17 and was living with his sugar daddy for a couple of months...he also claimed he could communicate with birds. But no wasn't really shocked, he was a weirdy and I have a pretty god gaydar so it was suspected.

If they were my friend to begin with, why would it change the friendship? It's only going to change the friendship if you allow it to do so.

Most people who know me know I don't care if they are Gay or Straight. Or wheather they are open about it in the general world or keep their private life private. I am not going to tolerate anyone being discriminated against for it.

But yes I have been shocked a couple times when someone got around to telling me. Kind of hurt my feelings because I would have liked to felt they had that feeling of safety to tell.

Also pisses me off when someone is deceptive about it. Especially if it means they deny their partner. Or lie to the partner they have that thinks they are in the kind of relationship they agreed to.

To me that is pretty gutless. Not that being Gay is particularly easy in society in general. I just think if you ask for someone to be something with you be honest about it.

I lived in military communities quite a bit. The whole don't ask don't tell and seperation of rank BS was is ridiculous. Since I don't tend to like PDA's all that much straight or gay I generally minded my own business and tried to be oblivious to people's private relationships.

No, it didnt change anything finding out they are gay.. but actually, they called me this very morning and told me they have aids, and are dying, so.. I suspect that will change the relationship.


PS.. how do you NOT know someone is gay?


I always know.

I'm sorry to hear this Earthy.

I think there are some people, usually women IMO that can do a pretty good job of disguising it.

I've never had a friend that I didn't know was gay. I would imagine it would be a bit awkward at first, depending on the circumstance.

I am fron N.Y. .....would'nt change a thing ..a friend is a friend.

So what, a friend is a friend no matter its sexual orientation.

Why would I be shocked? It's not any of my business to have a reaction to another person's life.

OK, unless I found out they were a mass murderer THEN I might react but it still wouldn’t be any of my business.

I don't think it's so much about sexual orientation. If anything, I would feel betrayed by not having been told the truth. But, in the end, I would understand and, get over it.

NO

It really shouldn't, it should only change the way you relate to him/her. Now he can be more relaxed with you..laugh about it...so wtf, Did you ever see the movie called "as good as it gets" with Jack Nicholson,it's good, watch it, there is a gay guy in there.

I found out a close family member was gay. I was shocked but it didnt change our relationship or how much I love him. He respects that I dont feel comfortable hearing about his relationships or watching his affection towards men but his friends are still a welcome party of my life (just leave out the intimate hugs and kisses and stuff). If they have a strong relationship they should be good enough friends to behave as such when we are together.

Not that there's anything wrong with that! be seeing you