"Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?" - Juvenal

"Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit"
Max Ehrmann

"'Speak softly and carry a big stick; you will go far.'" - Theodore Roosevelt

"Yes Ma'am I am drunk.

But you are ugly

And tomorrow I shall be sober."


-Winston Churchill

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift - that's why it's called the present.

What does that translate to, yellow?

"Those who cannot create... Must destroy" -Jim Morrison

"Never argue with idiots... People won't know who's who"

"Whatever is done from love always occurs beyond good and evil"

Its better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.

"It is a small world... But I wouldn't want to paint it" - Me

I don’t have pet peeves — I have major psychotic ****ing hatreds! -George Carlin

Have you ever noticed that their stuff is **** and your **** is stuff? George Carlin



Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
Mitch Hedberg

“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.”
Mark Twain

I drank what? - Socrates

Stupid is as stupid does - Forrest Gump

I bet you're the kind of guy that would fu** a person in the ***, and not even have the god damned common courtesy to give him a reach around. - Sarge

How tall are you, private?
Sir, five foot, nine, sir!
Five foot, nine, I didn't know they stacked sh** that high. - Sarge

We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. - Sam Keen

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was beyond my control. - Unknown

Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. - Unknown

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch. W.C Fields.

Sometimes it's hard to do the right thing. But the harder one is knowing what's the right thing to do.

"The god of a carpernter is a carpenter; the god of a businessman is a businessman; the god of cannibal is a cannibal; the God of a Christian is a Jew." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Forgiveness is the scent the violet sheds on the heel that has just crushed it.


Mark Twain

"Always make sure he loves you more than you love him or you'll be miserable"


Joan Rivers

I used to know a girl named Virginia.

I called her "Virgin" for short.
























But not for long.


W. C. Fields

I will never stand BEHIND a man, but I will stand BESIDE one.







~MAF