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| Topic: Your Best Friend | |
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A best friend can go very far with you in life,,but when or if you chosed to marry s a mate,,,,then that best friend and you WILL LOSE SOME GROUND,,,because as their your best frind,,THEIR NOT YOUR LOVE OF THIS LIFE... And personally I have NEVER had a best friend that was a woman, as aposed to have this issue with through my marriages I have had. No women would want to come home to ME always having ANY OTHER lady with me as WHY,,,when YOU love someone,,THEY BECOME your lifes BESTFRIEND...well,,THEY SHOULD? So, if you had a close friend of over 10 years and you only knew your S/O for 3, you'd drop your friend for your S/O? And who do you turn to when you and your S/O are having fights and you can't seem to talk to them? |
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Why do people feel the need to issue one? Do they really think that will keep a person around? By telling them they have no choice but to make a choice? I mean,,like gong doing around a lot and always with you,,,yes THAT would be a see ya in my mind as YOU really having anything more with me than one of THEM??? When I am involved,,SHE IS ALWAYS HELD SPECIAL,,,over others, and I would be offended if SHE DIDN'T hold that same value to me? But the right woman isn't going to expect or demand that you give up other platonic women friends. That usually involves trust and security issues. Do you really want to be with someone you don't trust or who acts insecurely? And personally I have NEVER had a best friend that was a woman, as aposed to have this issue with through my marriages I have had. No women would want to come home to ME always having ANY OTHER lady with me as WHY,,,when YOU love someone,,THEY BECOME your lifes BESTFRIEND...well,,THEY SHOULD? I believe you can have multiple best friends/soul friends (Anam Cara), both platonic and relationship-wise. They each have their own purpose, and touch different parts of that one's soul. To forbid another from having a best friend, especially if they feel threatened, means you are negating that person for who they are. They cease to be their own person, and become a doll or robot or image of what you want them to be. I can most certainly understand if there was something screwy going on, literally. But I still wouldn't give the other person an ultimatum over it, I'd walk away. I wouldn't put up with that just based on the moral and health issues. ASKING or DISCUSSING one's feelings lets the person know your thoughts, and frees them to decide how important they consider you or their best friend. DEMANDING means you feel they are a dog who must obey, or else. |
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Edited by
TheShadow
on
Wed 02/17/10 12:05 AM
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If your closest and dearest friend was of the opposite sex and your significant other gave you the ultimatum, "Me or the friend", whom would you choose? With out knowing the situation, and there can be many. I couldn't realy give an answer or an opinion. |
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A best friend can go very far with you in life,,but when or if you chosed to marry s a mate,,,,then that best friend and you WILL LOSE SOME GROUND,,,because as their your best frind,,THEIR NOT YOUR LOVE OF THIS LIFE... And personally I have NEVER had a best friend that was a woman, as aposed to have this issue with through my marriages I have had. No women would want to come home to ME always having ANY OTHER lady with me as WHY,,,when YOU love someone,,THEY BECOME your lifes BESTFRIEND...well,,THEY SHOULD? So, if you had a close friend of over 10 years and you only knew your S/O for 3, you'd drop your friend for your S/O? And who do you turn to when you and your S/O are having fights and you can't seem to talk to them? Regarding fights, this is another words of wisdom from my mother. NEVER discuss the fight with someone else. It keeps the poison going and even if you and your partner make up, the other person may still be poisoned by it. |
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If your closest and dearest friend was of the opposite sex and your significant other gave you the ultimatum, "Me or the friend", whom would you choose? With out knowing the situation, and there can be many. I couldn't realy give an answer or an opinion. |
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Why do people feel the need to issue one? Do they really think that will keep a person around? By telling them they have no choice but to make a choice? I mean,,like gong doing around a lot and always with you,,,yes THAT would be a see ya in my mind as YOU really having anything more with me than one of THEM??? When I am involved,,SHE IS ALWAYS HELD SPECIAL,,,over others, and I would be offended if SHE DIDN'T hold that same value to me? But the right woman isn't going to expect or demand that you give up other platonic women friends. That usually involves trust and security issues. Do you really want to be with someone you don't trust or who acts insecurely? And personally I have NEVER had a best friend that was a woman, as aposed to have this issue with through my marriages I have had. No women would want to come home to ME always having ANY OTHER lady with me as WHY,,,when YOU love someone,,THEY BECOME your lifes BESTFRIEND...well,,THEY SHOULD? I believe you can have multiple best friends/soul friends (Anam Cara), both platonic and relationship-wise. They each have their own purpose, and touch different parts of that one's soul. To forbid another from having a best friend, especially if they feel threatened, means you are negating that person for who they are. They cease to be their own person, and become a doll or robot or image of what you want them to be. I can most certainly understand if there was something screwy going on, literally. But I still wouldn't give the other person an ultimatum over it, I'd walk away. I wouldn't put up with that just based on the moral and health issues. ASKING or DISCUSSING one's feelings lets the person know your thoughts, and frees them to decide how important they consider you or their best friend. DEMANDING means you feel they are a dog who must obey, or else. 
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If your closest and dearest friend was of the opposite sex and your significant other gave you the ultimatum, "Me or the friend", whom would you choose? With out knowing the situation, and there can be many. I couldn't realy give an answer or an opinion. There is nothing to read. I already stating in this thread that this is just a question. I am not looking for or in a relationship so an ultimatum given to me would be pointless. Just want to know what people think or feel about their best friends and ultimatums about them. |
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Edited by
pms64
on
Wed 02/17/10 04:35 AM
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Your significant other should be your best friend.
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Edited by
AGoodGuy1026
on
Wed 02/17/10 05:36 AM
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If your closest and dearest friend was of the opposite sex and your significant other gave you the ultimatum, "Me or the friend", whom would you choose? sounds like you made the wrong choice in life... I can here it now, the next thing you will be saying to your SO is "I love you but I am not IN love with you"....good luck to you! $.02 
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If your closest and dearest friend was of the opposite sex and your significant other gave you the ultimatum, "Me or the friend", whom would you choose? sounds like you made the wrong choice in life... I can here it now, the next thing you will be saying to your SO is "I love you but I am not IN love with you"....good luck to you! $.02 Can you do me a favor and read this thread? I mean all of it. Not trying to be mean but there is this trend of people assuming I am in a relationship and have been given an ultimatum. For clarifying purposes only, as this is the last time I will say this: I am not in a relationship. By choice. Why would I get involved with someone when I leave the country March 7th to stay overseas for a year, possibly more? The reason I have asked this question about your best friend and the ultimatum is because it came up this weekend in a conversation WITH MY BEST FRIEND. We both agreed that there is no way we would let a person come between us because we have "had each other's backs" for a very long time and have helped each other scope out potential relationships for one another. Saved us both from some very nasty break ups. Neither of us are wanting to be together, but we won't let go of a friendship that has worked for 3 years. So, please, stop telling ME I have picked the wrong person or any of that stuff. Just answer the question about your friend and the value you put in their friendship. Thank you very much. |
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I'd ask if we could do a threesome!!!!
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I'd ask if we could do a threesome!!!! LOL You are the BEST! How are you doing? |
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Edited by
Peccy
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Wed 02/17/10 10:14 AM
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Who has the bigger rack? lol..seriously Angel is my best friend so it doesn't apply.
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I'd arrange an ultimate fighting challenge between the two of them. Who ever wins, I stay with.
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Who has the bigger rack? lol..seriously Angel is my best friend so it doesn't apply. Ace is my best friend. We had an amazing weekend and yes, we talked about you. Then we started talking about the girl I crushed on at the strip club he took me to.  (Shut up, she was cute, okay?) Then we went shopping. That man can shop more than I can! AND he found discounts! All by himself, without the Discount Jewdar standing next to him. (I was off looking at dresses for my daughter. Got suckered into paying $25 for a piece of fabric cause it was pretty.) Then I teased him and showed him how to suck a baby back rib clean at Applebee's. Then we went shopping again and then went home and watched the Olympics and wondered who that guy was singing "Hallelujah" during the opening ceremonies. Ace didn't like that song so much, made me turn it down. (Just found out today that the "guy" was actually k.d. lang. Wait till I tell Ace.) Then we mulled over his lust crush and talked about if we ever were given ultimatums. Btw, I have a bigger rack than he does. However, he has a bigger gun, so I let him win.  |
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I'd arrange an ultimate fighting challenge between the two of them. Who ever wins, I stay with. Whilst I have virtually no upper body strength, I can crush things with my legs... I might stand a chance... Just let me get in one good kick. |
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I would have to say goodbye to the boyfriend. Unless he had good reason to be concerned. ie...are best friend and I in bed napping (not good)
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Who has the bigger rack? lol..seriously Angel is my best friend so it doesn't apply. Ace is my best friend. We had an amazing weekend and yes, we talked about you. Then we started talking about the girl I crushed on at the strip club he took me to. (Shut up, she was cute, okay?) Then we went shopping. That man can shop more than I can! AND he found discounts! All by himself, without the Discount Jewdar standing next to him. (I was off looking at dresses for my daughter. Got suckered into paying $25 for a piece of fabric cause it was pretty.) Then I teased him and showed him how to suck a baby back rib clean at Applebee's. Then we went shopping again and then went home and watched the Olympics and wondered who that guy was singing "Hallelujah" during the opening ceremonies. Ace didn't like that song so much, made me turn it down. (Just found out today that the "guy" was actually k.d. lang. Wait till I tell Ace.) Then we mulled over his lust crush and talked about if we ever were given ultimatums. Btw, I have a bigger rack than he does. However, he has a bigger gun, so I let him win. |
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Waves goodbye to the one issuing an ultimatum. exactly! |
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