Looking back on your past relationships, and just thinking about moments when you felt really happy (within and about the relationship), and yet you say that "it wasn't the real one" or..."It went bad because we weren't for each other" or..."not sure if i truly loved him (or her)..

And yet essentially there were those moments when you felt content and satisfied how things were.

Aren't you trying to get more of those moments or somehow trying to get into a relationship, which has those moments stretched out, expanded and multiplied?

And then, let's say, you meet someone for a date or 2 (or 3) ,and suddenly you are trying to feel something, but it just isn't happening or you won't feel a thing.

So next morning you wake up, and the whole thing time on the date runs through your mind and you have already made a decision not to go along, because you feel nothing so you dismiss and you are already on your way out of it anyway..you are getting back to your regular schedule and just the thought of going on to more dates with this person just feels like a distraction and ruining your daily habits and your way you run your days?

Did you ever thought of, that you have overestimated and exaggerated and just wanted too much from a person who is really not much different from everyone else and this was a huge letdown for you?

Perhaps if you would just prepare enough to meet someone ordinary, regardless of what your imagination and your fantasies making you all excited and curious, it's still the best thing to do is to step back from the big picture and analyze the whole thing before you do anything. The person you are to meet is single for a reason..either broke up, divorced or never had a chance or something else made him (or her) to be single and wanting to meet, and maybe that person has already placed his/her expectation too high about you, so both of you are looking for magic and something extraordinary, and when the curtain falls, both of you will realize that there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about the other and this whole thing makes you feel so sour, that you decide that this person is "just not for me?"


p.s. Isn't it amazing how I come up with all this stuff, while spraying a coat of polyurethane clearcoat on a piece of plastic in the garage?

" ... expecting too much ... " - compared to what ... ?

Oh - an epoxy formulation would work better for that clearcoat ...

Huff, no, I think I expect too little.

So the best way to move forward is to have no expectations and demands...allow that person to be him/her self and you just be who you are and if it is meant to be it will be. The anticipation of a date should not feel yucky...next!

PS..yes it is amazing how you come up with this while in the garage.

Did anyone ever tell you you think too much?


You were spraying clear coat on plastic, right???


No 4:20 accompanying work??? (and you are not sharing it? Shame on you! You Don't!!! )


Naw, actually relationships also evolve. You either adapt or it dies. Sometimes it just never happens. You can't expect to get along with every woman you meet.

Nothing last forever anyways. Some relationships though can go the distance, and others not even make it to first base.

THAT'S LIFE!

It's really about me, and I get the sense, that women I have met in the past few months were expecting something extraordinary, meanwhile I'm just a regular guy.

I got a regular crap for clearcoat. I used Standox at my previous job, but that's only available by contract and just super expensive, so I have to settle with a junk homeowners' special from Advance Autoparts.

I just make friends,, no huge expectations.

IN fact, meeting that extraordinary person or even meeting the RIGHT guy is more like dreaming about the lottery for me than it is something I hang my existence and social life on.

and on the other side of the mirror I can say the same thing about finding the right women.

Sometimes we sit on opposite sides of the fence but we do agree on some things.

May your hunt be successful and you find that one man who is your perfect fit!

Or as us engineers and pseudo engineers say, may his fit and form also meet perfect functionality!

lol,, thanx,,, same to you

well just keep it away from ur computer

but to answer the question - that usually happens to me -every time - especially of the guy doesn't keep in touch or I don't see him for a few days - it's like I forget about him in any kinda romantic sense - usually. there have been a few exceptions

I just always thought it was because the bond was not strong enuff - and the attraction not either

Remember your question..."do you want me or the idea of me?"

Your still attracting those with stars in their eyes and their heads in the clouds...they want the idea of you because your so charismatic.

Ferenc, YOUR attracting them..maybe you need to think about why you keep attracting those who are wanting the idea of you, are you allowing yourself to be YOU..or are you attempting to be their idea?

Expectations I think are what kill my dating abilities, I'm a writer, poor by some definitions. I just don't think what I aspire to be is what most people want to be with. Not to say all relationships ended because they were expecting something completly different, some have ended because I made mistakes, others ended in a rather 'fiery blaze' type of deal.

I just like meeting people, if something hits, it hits, if not, hopefully friendship is still on the cards.

I really don't feel that I expect too much out of anyone. I normally look for those that I get along with and can talk to as well that can make me laugh. To me communication means the most to me. I have dated different types of guys at times I have had that instant chemistry then at times they just seemed comfortable to be with.

But if anyone is looking for total fireworks they may be in for a let down along the way. For they may be passing up one they could really get along with....

BINGO!!! Communication...that's when you really get to be yourself and then if they still want to get to know you..well then maybe the fireworks are a possibility.

I'm always impressed when one spends hours of conversation with me and wants more...most head for the hills after a phone call or two. Now I have one who calls every night just to hear my thoughts...now THAT is impressive.

No, that's exactly not what is happening. I guess they have an idea..but when they meet me face to face, it's just seems like this isn't what they expected. Even though I'm the same as I am right now. I'm always me, and I can just feel the disappointment, I'm trying to figure out what they were expecting or what exactly they want from me or am I somehow I'm just too much or too strange.. One of those.

that's weird - makes me feel weird to read it - I mean how can u stand that? I'd just leave, I think

Makes you feel weird to read it?

Well your not too much, well maybe but in a good way. Your doing what I did for 10 years. Stop looking, let her find you! Keep being "too much" and one that can handle it will find you.

ya. like it is a dehumanizing experience

It's not dehumanizing, just confirms me the fact that I will have hell of a time finding anyone who thinks the way I do or at least interested in me and not interested about how I look in sunglasses and without.