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Topic: The Eight "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts"
plastic_pancakes Joined Sun 10/18/09 Posts: 7399	Tue 05/25/10 11:20 AM
"While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he cannot find a Pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten I'd Really Rather You didn'ts, two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards." The Flying Spaghetti Monsters commandments address worship of Him, the treatment of people of other faiths, sexual conduct, and nutrition. THE EIGHT I'D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN'TS 1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou * When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject. 2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjigate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Dont Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People. 3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia. 4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F* Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change. 5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******. 6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build MultiMillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator. 7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint? 8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something. In the name of His Noodly Goodness, RAmen."

Dancere Joined Sun 04/06/08 Posts: 14561	Tue 05/25/10 11:42 AM
... Aaaaahhhh-hahahahaha, laughed to tears, good schtuff ... "... I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas... " " ... I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator..."

Ladylid2012 Joined Sun 07/05/09 Posts: 42269	Tue 05/25/10 12:08 PM
"While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he cannot find a Pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten I'd Really Rather You didn'ts, two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards." The Flying Spaghetti Monsters commandments address worship of Him, the treatment of people of other faiths, sexual conduct, and nutrition. THE EIGHT I'D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN'TS 1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou * When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject. 2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjigate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Dont Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People. 3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia. 4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F* Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change. 5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******. 6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build MultiMillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator. 7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint? 8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something. In the name of His Noodly Goodness, RAmen."

EquusDancer Joined Sun 04/05/09 Posts: 6281	Wed 05/26/10 11:27 AM
Freaking hilarious!!!

Redykeulous Joined Thu 11/09/06 Posts: 6052	Wed 05/26/10 07:50 PM
YES - good. I like number eight - the golden rule is only golden in the the mind of the beholder...

massagetrade Joined Thu 02/22/07 Posts: 8505	Fri 05/28/10 06:33 AM
YES - good. I like number eight - the golden rule is only golden in the the mind of the beholder... Absolutely! This has bothered me since I was a little kid. Whats so good about doing onto others as you'd have done onto you? People are different! How about: "Do onto others as they'd have done onto them?"

Willaworm Joined Fri 05/28/10 Posts: 16	Fri 05/28/10 08:55 AM
LOL this is an awsome post! I aggree, except the concept behing the golden rule is u would have others be kind to you, and do what u like. therefore, to fulfill the rule, u do what the person likes, because if u were that person, thats what u would want... lol, i think i over analysed this, but good stuff

Redykeulous Joined Thu 11/09/06 Posts: 6052	Fri 05/28/10 06:03 PM
YES - good. I like number eight - the golden rule is only golden in the the mind of the beholder... Absolutely! This has bothered me since I was a little kid. Whats so good about doing onto others as you'd have done onto you? People are different! How about: "Do onto others as they'd have done onto them?" and

tanyaann Joined Mon 12/03/07 Posts: 32220	Tue 06/01/10 07:56 AM
Interesting.

Torgo70 Joined Fri 06/27/08 Posts: 27387	Tue 06/01/10 08:05 AM
Evidently this isn't a recognized religion

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Tue 06/01/10 08:24 AM
YES - good. I like number eight - the golden rule is only golden in the the mind of the beholder... Absolutely! This has bothered me since I was a little kid. Whats so good about doing onto others as you'd have done onto you? People are different! How about: "Do onto others as they'd have done onto them?" concerning strangers, how would you GAUGE what they want done to them? I think, although not foolproof, its safe to basically not do anything to someone else that you wouldnt want done to you.

plastic_pancakes Joined Sun 10/18/09 Posts: 7399	Tue 06/01/10 08:32 AM
Apparently my faith is a joke. Coldblooded.

tanyaann Joined Mon 12/03/07 Posts: 32220	Tue 06/01/10 08:34 AM
Apparently my faith is a joke. Coldblooded. Sorry plastic!

plastic_pancakes Joined Sun 10/18/09 Posts: 7399	Tue 06/01/10 08:37 AM
Hehe. It's totally groovy, tanya. I'm in it for the beer volcano, not the publicity.

tanyaann Joined Mon 12/03/07 Posts: 32220	Tue 06/01/10 08:38 AM
Hehe. It's totally groovy, tanya. I'm in it for the beer volcano, not the publicity. Beer volcano?

plastic_pancakes Joined Sun 10/18/09 Posts: 7399	Tue 06/01/10 08:43 AM
"The Pastafarian belief of Heaven contains a beer volcano... The Pastafarian Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale..."

tanyaann Joined Mon 12/03/07 Posts: 32220	Tue 06/01/10 08:55 AM
"The Pastafarian belief of Heaven contains a beer volcano... The Pastafarian Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale..." Oh okay! Nothing worse than stale beer!

Shasta1 Joined Wed 09/09/09 Posts: 3308	Tue 06/01/10 01:21 PM
"While brooding atop Mount Salsa because he cannot find a Pirate ship, Mosey the Pirate captain receives some advice from the Flying Spaghetti Monster in the form of ten stone tablets. These were called the I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts by the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the "Commandments" by Mosey, and the "Condiments" by his Pirate gang. While there were originally ten I'd Really Rather You didn'ts, two were dropped on the way back down the mountain, with eight remaining. This event "partly accounts for Pastafarians' flimsy moral standards." The Flying Spaghetti Monsters commandments address worship of Him, the treatment of people of other faiths, sexual conduct, and nutrition. THE EIGHT I'D REALLY RATHER YOU DIDN'TS 1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like A Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou * When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject. 2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjigate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Dont Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People. 3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This Through You Thick Heads: Woman=Person, Man=Person. Samey-Samey. One is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal And Fuchsia. 4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go F* Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off The TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change. 5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The B*******. 6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build MultiMillion-Dollar Churches/Temples/Mosques/ Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick): A. Ending Poverty B. Curing Diseases C. Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable. I Might Be A Complex Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM The Creator. 7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go around Telling People I Talk To you. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint? 8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses Alot Of Leather/Lubrication/Las Vegas. If The Other Person Is Into It However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear A CONDOM! Honestly It's A Piece Of Rubber, If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something. In the name of His Noodly Goodness, RAmen." These are probally closer to what was handed down BEFORE they were edited by the people who put scare tactics into God's words.

massagetrade Joined Thu 02/22/07 Posts: 8505	Tue 06/01/10 01:51 PM
YES - good. I like number eight - the golden rule is only golden in the the mind of the beholder... Absolutely! This has bothered me since I was a little kid. Whats so good about doing onto others as you'd have done onto you? People are different! How about: "Do onto others as they'd have done onto them?" concerning strangers, how would you GAUGE what they want done to them? This line of thinking is essential to my point. If you are serious about doing anything well in life, slogans and one-liners tend to be of limited value. At least the slogan 'as they'd have done' makes it clear that you have to do a little more (thinking, communicating, drawing upon empathy, etc) than just assume that other people are just like you. I think, although not foolproof, its safe to basically not do anything to someone else that you wouldnt want done to you. In other traditions, this is how the rule is phrased - as a recommendation against presumptive actions, not an endorsement of presumptive actions. "Don't do to others as you'd not have done to you." Until you have good cause (and 'as you'd have done unto you' is not always good cause, in my book) to believe an action is beneficial to someone else, perhaps inaction is a better course of action. To me, there is a huge difference between your statement above, and the 'golden rule'.

massagetrade Joined Thu 02/22/07 Posts: 8505	Tue 06/01/10 06:21 PM
So someone posts a relevant commentary on the influence of religion on culture, and the silliness of some religious beliefs, and someone else decides that it belongs in the Jokes/Funny Stories section? The silliness of Pastafarianism is equally matched, from my POV, by the silliness of most religions. Show all posts about religion be sent to the Joke section, too?