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| Topic: Getting used to the idea of being alone..... | |
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So you don't want any kind of relationship, just sex as it's obviously available to you at any time, and then your life can continue on leaving anyone who cares about you behind... how shallow. (just the kind I'd expect to find online, sad but true) There's nothing wrong with someone needing time to focus on finding happiness for themselves-IMO! Relationships take much time, dedication, and effort and are more difficult if one person is not happy and balanced! I wouldn't wish a relationship with me on any man right now and I have certainly had enough drama from them that I do not need anymore! So I have to do without sex, big deal-been there, done that before! I just get up every day, put on my big girl panties & go about my day (with much less stress to deal with) |
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Even though I'm a true believer that being alone is not all that bad and can have it's advantages. I don't believe having casual sex with no feelings is the way to go either. Both can be damaging to both involved at times. Just be careful whom you choose to have your needs served by if you so choose to go that route.
Even freedom of being alone at times has a price to pay. If not yourself then the others around you that you are involved with. Being alone is not for everyone even the strongest at times wish they had someone else to share their lives with and those special moments...... 
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Even though I'm a true believer that being alone is not all that bad and can have it's advantages. I don't believe having casual sex with no feelings is the way to go either. Both can be damaging to both involved at times. Just be careful whom you choose to have your needs served by if you so choose to go that route. Even freedom of being alone at times has a price to pay. If not yourself then the others around you that you are involved with. Being alone is not for everyone even the strongest at times wish they had someone else to share their lives with and those special moments...... I agree! For me, right now, being alone is necessary! I lost myself and need time to reconnect and make myself whole again, but I don't plan to be alone forever! I want to have 100% to give when that time comes in my life! For now though, I want to enjoy my solo journey! I doubt the OP really wants to be alone forever either & I felt the same way not long ago! If you feel like you need time for you, then give yourself that time and then mebbe everything else will fall into place 
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So you don't want any kind of relationship, just sex as it's obviously available to you at any time, and then your life can continue on leaving anyone who cares about you behind... how shallow. (just the kind I'd expect to find online, sad but true) wow just the kind of insensitive crap I would expect on a lesser forum filled with pre teen boys. You are wrong. I wont bother to prove you wrong because that would take to much time and effort and I have a feeling it would be wasted on you. The weirdest thing is that you are not a woman. Who would have thunk a man would think getting laid and moving on would be shallow. LOL! |
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Look I wont go into my entire life story but lets just say this. EVERY single person who ever claimed to love me or care for me left me, hell even those who didn't care left too. EVERYONE. I have been emotionally alone my entire life. Due to this I have always yearned to be loved and to show the love that I was denied. I really have tried and I have had some really good relationships. I have not been screwed over by every guy or anything like that. What I have found to be true though, Is that life is VERY long and things change. I would like to see some stats on how many marriages or people stay together till death till they part. I feel that we are attempting to live out a standard that is impossible for 90% of humanity. The answer is no I don't want to be alone but I also am really tired of being hurt and left alone because the dream failed again. I just want to be happy in life and enjoy being here and I have found that if I rely on myself for my own happiness than I wont get hurt anymore. I have a great dog and a wonderful daughter and I don't have the time to be crying myself to sleep anymore. I don't see how a relationships can offer anything that you cant already get from a good friend of a good *uck buddy that you trust.
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Look I wont go into my entire life story but lets just say this. EVERY single person who ever claimed to love me or care for me left me, hell even those who didn't care left too. EVERYONE. I have been emotionally alone my entire life. Due to this I have always yearned to be loved and to show the love that I was denied. I really have tried and I have had some really good relationships. I have not been screwed over by every guy or anything like that. What I have found to be true though, Is that life is VERY long and things change. I would like to see some stats on how many marriages or people stay together till death till they part. I feel that we are attempting to live out a standard that is impossible for 90% of humanity. The answer is no I don't want to be alone but I also am really tired of being hurt and left alone because the dream failed again. I just want to be happy in life and enjoy being here and I have found that if I rely on myself for my own happiness than I wont get hurt anymore. I have a great dog and a wonderful daughter and I don't have the time to be crying myself to sleep anymore. I don't see how a relationships can offer anything that you cant already get from a good friend of a good *uck buddy that you trust.  I can relate
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Look I wont go into my entire life story but lets just say this. EVERY single person who ever claimed to love me or care for me left me, hell even those who didn't care left too. EVERYONE. I have been emotionally alone my entire life. Due to this I have always yearned to be loved and to show the love that I was denied. I really have tried and I have had some really good relationships. I have not been screwed over by every guy or anything like that. What I have found to be true though, Is that life is VERY long and things change. I would like to see some stats on how many marriages or people stay together till death till they part. I feel that we are attempting to live out a standard that is impossible for 90% of humanity. The answer is no I don't want to be alone but I also am really tired of being hurt and left alone because the dream failed again. I just want to be happy in life and enjoy being here and I have found that if I rely on myself for my own happiness than I wont get hurt anymore. I have a great dog and a wonderful daughter and I don't have the time to be crying myself to sleep anymore. I don't see how a relationships can offer anything that you cant already get from a good friend of a good *uck buddy that you trust. I can relate  Heres to trying to find real love! LOL! |
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Look I wont go into my entire life story but lets just say this. EVERY single person who ever claimed to love me or care for me left me, hell even those who didn't care left too. EVERYONE. I have been emotionally alone my entire life. Due to this I have always yearned to be loved and to show the love that I was denied. I really have tried and I have had some really good relationships. I have not been screwed over by every guy or anything like that. What I have found to be true though, Is that life is VERY long and things change. I would like to see some stats on how many marriages or people stay together till death till they part. I feel that we are attempting to live out a standard that is impossible for 90% of humanity. The answer is no I don't want to be alone but I also am really tired of being hurt and left alone because the dream failed again. I just want to be happy in life and enjoy being here and I have found that if I rely on myself for my own happiness than I wont get hurt anymore. I have a great dog and a wonderful daughter and I don't have the time to be crying myself to sleep anymore. I don't see how a relationships can offer anything that you cant already get from a good friend of a good *uck buddy that you trust. I can relate Heres to trying to find real love! LOL! good luck girls!
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i posted this on another thread but...
balance my friend. what you think is an imperfect world is actually quite balanced. indeed one need not search long or hard to find a chitty relationship. yet each and everyone of us knows of a relationship that is so perfect, it outshines the bad ones many times over. this relationship is the one that gives us the hope that no matter how many times we have tried and failed to have one like it, we continue on the quest to find the one true love we can call our own. don't let a few bad apples ruin the whole bunch. there are men out there feeling exactly the way you are now. broken hearted they are left to a cold, lonely life of rainy days. but yes virginia there is a santa claus, the sun will come up tomorrow, and your heart will heal, you will love again. i guarantee i guarantee (bulldog's double guarantee/patent pending) chin up rachel, you got this 
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i posted this on another thread but... balance my friend. what you think is an imperfect world is actually quite balanced. indeed one need not search long or hard to find a chitty relationship. yet each and everyone of us knows of a relationship that is so perfect, it outshines the bad ones many times over. this relationship is the one that gives us the hope that no matter how many times we have tried and failed to have one like it, we continue on the quest to find the one true love we can call our own. don't let a few bad apples ruin the whole bunch. there are men out there feeling exactly the way you are now. broken hearted they are left to a cold, lonely life of rainy days. but yes virginia there is a santa claus, the sun will come up tomorrow, and your heart will heal, you will love again. i guarantee i guarantee (bulldog's double guarantee/patent pending) chin up rachel, you got this I appreciate it :) yet your post only proves my point. You see, we all strive for that ONE perfect relationship but that's just it. Look around you, if you are lucky you will be able to find just ONE perfect long term relationship to say, "now look at that there is hope still for me" Yet we fail to see that ALL around us are failed relationships. The perfect relationship is a rarity not the norm. Yet we all strive for it as if it is the norm. It's a skewed perception that we hold onto so we don't lose our minds thinking we will all die alone. I prefer to employ logic, the facts are most of us will be alone or stuck in a bad relationship because we cant be alone. If it's a choice of a bad relationship or being alone I'll stick to myself. at least I get the whole bed and it's cheaper to live alone too. There are a lot of pro's and they outweigh the cons to me. I am tired of playing the dating game and now I just want to be single. I'll take friends over a BF ANY DAY! I am sure every girl has a story of a great guy friend that she lost because she has sex with him and visa versus for the guys here as well. |
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ok, but does one really have to settle for the norm? do you give up searching for what your heart yearns for because it's hard to find? life isn't easy and many people go through it alone, without any regrets. you just struck me as someone with alot to offer in a committed long term relationship. having been through some rough relationships can make finding the last one hopeless. thing is it is not just a choice between a bad relationship or being alone. you can continue a quest to find someone. i just wanted you to see that if you ever decide to take up that search again, there will be a man on a simular search, looking for you.
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If they are a real friend, you will not lose them for having sex!!! You keep them around in case you both end up in that situation again-LOL
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Not a thing wrong with being single and finding yourself... Everyone should try it.
No matter where in life we are there is no such thing as perfect as long as it works for us that is all that matters.  But.... that is as long as we acknowledge those around us and we try out best not to infringe on what they want from life as well... Therefore if two people choose to be together with no emotional feelings for each other then that is their choice and neither are infringing on each others space. It is all about being honest with yourself and others. And don't let bad relationships cloud what could be ahead.... |
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Not a thing wrong with being single and finding yourself... Everyone should try it. No matter where in life we are there is no such thing as perfect as long as it works for us that is all that matters. But.... that is as long as we acknowledge those around us and we try out best not to infringe on what they want from life as well... Therefore if two people choose to be together with no emotional feelings for each other then that is their choice and neither are infringing on each others space. It is all about being honest with yourself and others. And don't let bad relationships cloud what could be ahead....
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I don't find any problem with being single. Nor do I feel any pressure to be married again. Hell, I don't have any pressure forcing me to be with someone. If I meet someone who peaks my interest, then I will go for it. But I am also not rushing it. I did that as well. After I got divorced four years ago, I thought I had to find someone quick and fast. Reality is, I don't. Has nothing to do with me looking to settle. Has everything to do with me wanting what is best for me. And, to also be the best thing for someone else.
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So you don't want any kind of relationship, just sex as it's obviously available to you at any time, and then your life can continue on leaving anyone who cares about you behind... how shallow. (just the kind I'd expect to find online, sad but true) wow just the kind of insensitive crap I would expect on a lesser forum filled with pre teen boys. You are wrong. I wont bother to prove you wrong because that would take to much time and effort and I have a feeling it would be wasted on you. The weirdest thing is that you are not a woman. Who would have thunk a man would think getting laid and moving on would be shallow. LOL! Well if I am wrong it wouldn't take much time or effort to point out the obvious. I'm not sure I understand what being a man or woman has to do with it except that if a man posted the same thread he'd get roasted. It's not at all shallow to move on when you know a certain situation is not for you and is going nowhere, but in my opinion you have to be a little shallow and self centered to move on beforehand... you don't have to agree. |
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..my love has gone techno... 
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Edited by
quiterightlyso
on
Sun 11/07/10 11:38 AM
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I don't think being alone is such a bad thing. I've been alone for quite a while, and I at times wonder why I ever bothered getting on dating sites. I know that if I ever do meet someone and get involved (or should I say bogged down) in a relationship, I know that much will be required of me and quite possibly, very little will be given me in return. I don't see myself as cynical, but I am not naive enough to believe in fairytales. If the fairytales were true, then why do so many marriages end in divorce? Something deep inside me is telling me to count my blessings and be content with being alone.
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So you don't want any kind of relationship, just sex as it's obviously available to you at any time, and then your life can continue on leaving anyone who cares about you behind... how shallow. (just the kind I'd expect to find online, sad but true) wow just the kind of insensitive crap I would expect on a lesser forum filled with pre teen boys. You are wrong. I wont bother to prove you wrong because that would take to much time and effort and I have a feeling it would be wasted on you. The weirdest thing is that you are not a woman. Who would have thunk a man would think getting laid and moving on would be shallow. LOL! Well if I am wrong it wouldn't take much time or effort to point out the obvious. I'm not sure I understand what being a man or woman has to do with it except that if a man posted the same thread he'd get roasted. It's not at all shallow to move on when you know a certain situation is not for you and is going nowhere, but in my opinion you have to be a little shallow and self centered to move on beforehand... you don't have to agree. To be honest after reading that I think you got a different conclusion out of what I posted than what I had meant to portray. I am not in a relationship therefore I am not leaving anyone or in fact "moving on" at all. I just feel that due to my own personal experiences that due to a combination of my own strong personality and life in general that a life long relationship is out of the question for me. I don't personally enjoy random sex but I have found happiness in a FWB. I don't think that me taking an honest look at myself and my experiences, and then making a life change to suit myself for success is selfish or shallow. Oh and BTW I cant just get laid anytime I want. I am a certified nerd, I spend all my free time AND my work time online. I spend my weekends on forums debating politics or just searching random topics online like Arabian horses, orca whales and pit bulls...oh and lets not forget my favorite the Yellowstone super volcano. LOL I am shy and closed off so don't assume that just because I take good pictures in my boredom that I have men lined up. |
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Look I wont go into my entire life story but lets just say this. EVERY single person who ever claimed to love me or care for me left me, hell even those who didn't care left too. EVERYONE. I have been emotionally alone my entire life. Due to this I have always yearned to be loved and to show the love that I was denied. I really have tried and I have had some really good relationships. I have not been screwed over by every guy or anything like that. What I have found to be true though, Is that life is VERY long and things change. I would like to see some stats on how many marriages or people stay together till death till they part. I feel that we are attempting to live out a standard that is impossible for 90% of humanity. The answer is no I don't want to be alone but I also am really tired of being hurt and left alone because the dream failed again. I just want to be happy in life and enjoy being here and I have found that if I rely on myself for my own happiness than I wont get hurt anymore. I have a great dog and a wonderful daughter and I don't have the time to be crying myself to sleep anymore. I don't see how a relationships can offer anything that you cant already get from a good friend of a good *uck buddy that you trust. I can relate Imma join ya girls |
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