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Topic: What's stops you from having a good relationship?
no photo
Sat 01/01/11 07:33 AM
What stops you from loving someone or being loved by someone? Everyone does it or has it done to them and it's usually unconciously.

buddha35's photo
Sat 01/01/11 07:38 AM
my really bad choices in women I've dated. but they were fun to date.

no photo
Sat 01/01/11 07:47 AM
The fear of being dumped.if i am seriously in love.

TheShadow's photo
Sat 01/01/11 08:36 AM
Nothing stops me from loving anyone, I just need a reason to startlaugh

no photo
Sat 01/01/11 09:36 AM

What stops you from loving someone or being loved by someone?


A disconcerting lack of options.

prashant01's photo
Sat 01/01/11 10:02 AM
This is just like publishing my weakness :smile:

I cant express my feelings & cant feel others bcoz

1) I'm very poor at listening

2) I'm selfcentred

3) I'm workholic

4) I devote myself completely in doing one task at a time

5) I feel awkward in expressing my feelings whether affection,love


& may be few more.....but OK for me....I really dont want to get into this MAYAJAL....getting into love & affection,building expectation is the route cause of frustration & sorrow.flowers



TxsGal3333's photo
Sat 01/01/11 10:03 AM
Only thing stopping me is finding that one that wants me the same way I want them.......whoa

misswright's photo
Sat 01/01/11 10:13 AM

What stops you from loving someone or being loved by someone?


The indestructible wall that I erected around my heart might have a tad bit to do with it. Or it could be that I'm anti-social by nature and rarely venture outside my home. Or I have a bad attitude. Or I'm just a unit.

Who knows?! Who cares?! Love is highly over-rated!

AndyBgood's photo
Sat 01/01/11 10:30 AM
What stops me? The other person's self interests and a blatant lack of personal quality. If the other person offers me no room to grow as a person it is a dead end relationship. I am not into dead ends. I also am not into holding others back for me either. Also family. More often than not I am not wealthy enough or "successful" enough for their parents.

I got to wonder how many parents wish their daughters would marry rich so they can sponge off of their husbands!

Dragoness's photo
Sat 01/01/11 11:03 AM
Choices. I made bad ones in the past.

My self destructive belief that the underdog needs a chance has pretty much doomed me each time. There is usually reason he is an underdog in life and it is usually his not so healthy choices for himself.

fireflysgirl's photo
Sat 01/01/11 11:52 AM

What stops me? The other person's self interests and a blatant lack of personal quality. If the other person offers me no room to grow as a person it is a dead end relationship. I am not into dead ends. I also am not into holding others back for me either. Also family. More often than not I am not wealthy enough or "successful" enough for their parents.

I got to wonder how many parents wish their daughters would marry rich so they can sponge off of their husbands!



Andy love is love. My Mom wishes I would look for someone successful and secure, not to mooch, but because she feels I deserve it while my Dad's last wish was for me to work things out with my marriage because he knows how crappy it feels to be separated from your soulmate!

If someone blames their mate choice on others opinions then they aren't the type of girl you should worry yourself over!

AndyBgood's photo
Sat 01/01/11 05:13 PM
The thing I see in life vs. what we are taught as kids conflict so badly. More often than not when most women are taught to look for a husband they are taught to look for the "Financially (Successful)" men in this world when the reality of life is unless you are born into money or inherit money the rest of us have to grind for the bottom dollar. Life is viciously tough when you have to go it alone. Humans are not meant to face life alone. The whole "lone wolf" thing is a load! No man or woman is an island and likewise I have seen so many Successful people suddenly become destitute over night due to bad fortune and also drug addiction and the legendary caniving wife (the women who get married, have a kid, and then promptly one day announce they want a divorce, alimony, and child support). Likewise I have seen successful women loose their jobs and just fall apart. Likewise I have seen successful women get dragged down by abusive and manipulative control freak husbands. But with all this aside when we get down to brass tacks women are taught how to size men up as well. I know the second a woman looks at my shoes I am doomed.

I know the rules of attraction are messed up. We all want what we can't have. So many settle for whatever and are made even more miserable. I can't count the number of relationships that ended for me because they wanted to change me in ways that are utterly impossible for me. I hate compete conformance and am not a fashion whore. I never considered myself one of the beautiful people. The thing is when I had money I had girl friends. When I was throwing parties I had lots of friends. But a lot has changed for me over the years. I witnessed a lot and learned a lot. Once upon a time I would have done anything for others but now all I see is self interest in everything I do. Only the military cultures a "tribal" sense of community if I may describe it as simply as I can. 'A Phalanx is only as strong as the man to your left' was a principle of Classical Greece's military and since then strong armies knew that each individual had to think about the well being of the other guy.

I could get so much deeper into this than I have written so far. Frankly I have a lot more self interest these days because right now it is MY azz dangling over hungry wolves right now. Committed relationships have indeed become a lot more complicated as well. Granted we have to take time getting to know others but likewise how much of that getting to know the other is actually accessing whether or not that person fits the ideal we all seek?

So many women seek the Hunky Knight in shining armor riding a white steed when most of the real knights wear rusty and dented armor, have battle scars, and ride dark horses? There is no time to get pretty when you are fighting for your life.

I will qualify the opposite argument, there is NO excuse for men looking for a relationship just to have an easy ride in life. To me that is just bottom of the basement. And the reality of it is there are men who only see the money as well. I have met men like that before and they are SCUM!

Real love has no facade. I will admit I also am looking for an ideal myself and the sad thing I know is that ideals 99% of the time never manifest. But I likewise have standards and I am not letting those down ever again! Every time I relax my standards I get hurt somehow!

Also it takes a stronger women to know when to tell her family to shut up or move on! I do not get along with everyone and could care less honestly. I know who treats me well vs. who doesn't. I do anything for family but I also know that family can also be your worst enemy first hand. I personally don't want to end up a person hating life becasue it never went my way. And now for a leap of consciousness...

In a relationship people should be more concerned with the mutual need and that is how many functional relationships work. Number one reason most women cite for ending relationships, (not marriages) is the need for more excitement. Personality quirks are second. trust me, people with annoying behavior are just that, annoying. If someone can look past that it must be love!

mightymoe's photo
Sat 01/01/11 05:18 PM
usually, its something i am doing or already did...

ChangeofHeart's photo
Sat 01/01/11 05:23 PM

What stops you from loving someone or being loved by someone? Everyone does it or has it done to them and it's usually unconciously.
Im selfish. And im willing to stay along, or have brief relationships because im selfish.

Ruth34611's photo
Sat 01/01/11 05:59 PM

Nothing stops me from loving anyone, I just need a reason to startlaugh


That sums it up perfectly. :thumbsup:

Ruth34611's photo
Sat 01/01/11 06:00 PM

Choices. I made bad ones in the past.

My self destructive belief that the underdog needs a chance has pretty much doomed me each time. There is usually reason he is an underdog in life and it is usually his not so healthy choices for himself.


Wow. Now THAT is some good self-analysis. I know I have done this repeatedly as well.

Jess642's photo
Sat 01/01/11 08:03 PM

What stops you from loving someone or being loved by someone? Everyone does it or has it done to them and it's usually unconciously.


Me.


bigsmile

FearandLoathing's photo
Sat 01/01/11 08:05 PM


What stops you from loving someone or being loved by someone?


A disconcerting lack of options.


Quoted for truth.

Moving around doesn't seem to really help us writers, does it Lex?

andrewzooms's photo
Sat 01/01/11 08:15 PM
Marriage. Why does everything have to lead to marriage!

no photo
Sat 01/01/11 08:18 PM



What stops you from loving someone or being loved by someone?


A disconcerting lack of options.


Quoted for truth.

Moving around doesn't seem to really help us writers, does it Lex?


Not even a little bit.

I'm not exactly the most outgoing person, anyway -- so the only way I've ever really been able to meet people was through friends. And moving to a place where I don't know anybody didn't exactly facilitate that sort of thing.

In this part of Indianastan, it seems that the only people who can get noticed are drunks and fundamentalist Republicans.



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