Topic: HE MADE ME FEEL NASTY!!!
luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 06:53 PM


Thank you for your kind, and wise words, totage and Lex...

This just really bothered me!!

I know it shouldnt, but it did!

Im really not sure EXACTLY why I let this get under my skin.

You know how strong I am??

Thats why I put it on the table to talk to my family about!




It hurts because it implies you have lesser value for having lived that lifestyle -- which is an error.

Your value has nothing to do with arbitrary standards a stranger has set up for his use in evaluating other people. Don't take it that way.

He cannot establish your value. Only you can do that.

flowers flowers flowers


Thank you brother.

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 06:53 PM

Some maybe do keep people out of their lives, it's their choice.
It's not about you, don't take it personally sweetie.

flowerforyou

Thank you sister!

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 06:54 PM

People have different points of view in life. Don't expect everyone to like apples or to think the way other people do. We all here and everyone is different. If he puts in his profile, "NO REDHEADS, NO WHITE GIRL, NO ASIAN, AND NO GIRLS WITH MORE THEN 793,807 DOLLARS IN THEIR BANK ACCOUNT" That's his choice, you can't force others to your will. It wasn't meant to happen. All you can do is keep your money and respect his privacy.
Thank you brother!

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 06:55 PM



he will never know you, and i don't think you should let that bother you. you have overcome so much, a beautiful person you are, his loss. some people may have tragic stories that revolved around something, in his case, maybe loss of others to drugs, and he's drawn a line in the sand. we all make choices. just be you, we love you! :heart:


But why did it hurt me so much???


because you've worked so hard to be in a different place, YOU probably didn't like YOU back then. it's hard for some to believe people change, when in fact, they do, i know they do. you know they do. you did!! be proud, don't give that any power to hurt you. you did that to yourself enough already. flowerforyou :heart:
Yes, I hear you sister!Thank you.

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 06:56 PM

If you keep thinking about it, you will drive yourself nuts.

I tend to dwell on things that bother me. It's like I feel inadequate just because I don't "get" something. Truth is, the only thing making me feel that way is myself. So, it's better to let it go.
Thank you brother!

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 06:58 PM

I understand that. I've had people get upset because they find things out about my past without asking me, but rather doing their own background checks. I've also had them get upset when I've told them things about my past. I've also met people who understand that the past is the past and what has been done is not what define us.

I don't hide my past either, and I'm not ashamed of it.
As well you shouldnt be, you are a wonderful person totage!!
Thank you brother!

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:02 PM
Edited by luv2roknroll on Tue 07/12/11 07:04 PM

Depending on how long ago it was it may not be worth mentioning. God busies these things in the deepest see, we shouldn't try to resurrect what has been dwelt with. Think about deleting this info.
Do you see sir, this is called healing, and it comes from your family helping you to heal, when you are in need. I have my heavenly father yes, but I also need an earthly family too. You thought this was a bad idea, but you dont understand, I can get truth, love, and healing, here also. And so can you. Never be afraid to share your ups and downs with us, we are your family also, and we do care, and we will always help you if you are in need.

RainbowTrout's photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:05 PM
It has been a good day for me. Have you ever had flashbacks after watching a movie or reading a book? I had one while watching the Matrix once. "Do you think that is air you are breathing?" I love that line.laugh

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:16 PM

It has been a good day for me. Have you ever had flashbacks after watching a movie or reading a book? I had one while watching the Matrix once. "Do you think that is air you are breathing?" I love that line.laugh
I get flashbacks from music.

I close my eyes, and listen to a certain song, and its like a time machine, and im right back where I was the first time I heard it. I have a really bad memory,(from being bipolor), but this works everytime, and I remember every detail of the time I am taken to.

Thats why I love music so much. Its like a scrapbook for me.

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:24 PM
As ALWAYS you have made me feel much better, and I do understand a few good reasons, that you all gave, as to why it bothered me so much.

I love you all! I dont know what I would do without you!!

Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

RainbowTrout's photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:30 PM
I have always have had a bad memory even before the drugs. At our meetings we refer to each other as the family so I know where you are coming from. Music as a journal. Hmm. I like that idea. Kind of reminds me of the movie, "The Long Kiss Goodnight" with Samuel L. Jackson. That is a good flashback for me.:smile: He sang a little diddy while he was doing stuff to help him remember.:smile:

winterblue56's photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:34 PM
You're awesome Luvs flowerforyou. Stay happy and focused and keep God closeby and your Angles will protect and guide you. I would love to have half your strength happy . Everyone is right...it's not a reflection on you. What you have gone through, and risen above, has made you stronger than many of us.

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:40 PM

You're awesome Luvs flowerforyou. Stay happy and focused and keep God closeby and your Angles will protect and guide you. I would love to have half your strength happy . Everyone is right...it's not a reflection on you. What you have gone through, and risen above, has made you stronger than many of us.
Thank you sister!

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:48 PM

I have always have had a bad memory even before the drugs. At our meetings we refer to each other as the family so I know where you are coming from. Music as a journal. Hmm. I like that idea. Kind of reminds me of the movie, "The Long Kiss Goodnight" with Samuel L. Jackson. That is a good flashback for me.:smile: He sang a little diddy while he was doing stuff to help him remember.:smile:
I should title my book of songs that....

"Music is my Journal".(when its finished that is) I do have a published book of poetry called, "Thoughts from Within", and alot of the poems in there were written as I was becoming clean. Alot of them, are on my profile.

Here is one of them......

IM BAAAAAAAAAACK


Im back from hell
im doing well
I dont use that chit now
cant you tell.

Im in gods grace
look at my face
no site of the devil
not even a trace.

I feel pretty good
just like i should
I knew I could do this
I just knew that I could.

Ill never go back
to smoking that whack
I cant believe I spent so much time
being gacked.

Im back from hell
Im doing well
I dont use that chit now
cant you tell.

by Roberta Murdock

Theres my little ditty!laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

no photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:52 PM

he will never know you, and i don't think you should let that bother you. you have overcome so much, a beautiful person you are, his loss. some people may have tragic stories that revolved around something, in his case, maybe loss of others to drugs, and he's drawn a line in the sand. we all make choices. just be you, we love you! :heart:


I totally agree with bastet. It's his choice, but it's also his loss.

RainbowTrout's photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:55 PM


I have always have had a bad memory even before the drugs. At our meetings we refer to each other as the family so I know where you are coming from. Music as a journal. Hmm. I like that idea. Kind of reminds me of the movie, "The Long Kiss Goodnight" with Samuel L. Jackson. That is a good flashback for me.:smile: He sang a little diddy while he was doing stuff to help him remember.:smile:
I should title my book of songs that....

"Music is my Journal".(when its finished that is) I do have a published book of poetry called, "Thoughts from Within", and alot of the poems in there were written as I was becoming clean. Alot of them, are on my profile.

Here is one of them......

IM BAAAAAAAAAACK


Im back from hell
im doing well
I dont use that chit now
cant you tell.

Im in gods grace
look at my face
no site of the devil
not even a trace.

I feel pretty good
just like i should
I knew I could do this
I just knew that I could.

Ill never go back
to smoking that whack
I cant believe I spent so much time
being gacked.

Im back from hell
Im doing well
I dont use that chit now
cant you tell.

by Roberta Murdock

Theres my little ditty!laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

Really nice. :smile:

Here is one of mine.

The pebble

Master Po when will it be time
for me to leave?
When you can take the pebble
from my hand.
So many times grass hopper
tried and failed
because he was trying to take
the pebble from the hand.
It wasn't until he tapped
the hand downward that
the pebble hopped up.
He caught it in mid air
while it wasn't in the hand.
One comes, one leaves.
A new one starts and an old one leaves.
Life is a cycle that replays
with the old ones until they leave.
Hopefully the Young's ones
can learn something from the old.
Sometimes the new ones
fashion themselves after the old.
Sometimes the new ones
don't have to make
the mistakes of the old
but can learn from
the mistakes made by others.
Advice can help if one
truly listens.
Open minds can hold
much thought.
Honesty can teach so well.
Willingness can start
many new things.
Honesty, open mindedness and willingness
can open doors to pathways
that seemed closed before.
The pebble bounces.

no photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:55 PM

I have always have had a bad memory even before the drugs. At our meetings we refer to each other as the family so I know where you are coming from. Music as a journal. Hmm. I like that idea. Kind of reminds me of the movie, "The Long Kiss Goodnight" with Samuel L. Jackson. That is a good flashback for me.:smile: He sang a little diddy while he was doing stuff to help him remember.:smile:


I love that movie!

I do the same thing, using music as a journal. Did you ever see "With Honors" with Joe Pesci? He was a Harvard bum and used to save a pebble to remember important things in his life. My "pebbles" are songs. There is always something that fits.

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:58 PM


he will never know you, and i don't think you should let that bother you. you have overcome so much, a beautiful person you are, his loss. some people may have tragic stories that revolved around something, in his case, maybe loss of others to drugs, and he's drawn a line in the sand. we all make choices. just be you, we love you! :heart:


I totally agree with bastet. It's his choice, but it's also his loss.
Thank you sister!

See, I would have never thought of that, unless she told me. Maybe he lost someone to drugs. Its very possible, or as another person mentioned, he HIMSELF may have been an addict. I would have never thought of that either. Thats why I brought it home!

kre8karma's photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:59 PM
People are so silly. Maybe he has an addiction and fears he will have to share. laugh Or maybe he thinks he can protect himself by setting up a bunch of criteria to exclude the people he THINKS will make him unhappy. My guess is he's doing a good job of just that (setting himself up to be unhappy) by being judgmental with all the CAPS and stuffwhoa Whereas you are obviously warm and caring and Strong. If this were a horse race of potential happiness, I'd be betting on you! flowerforyou

ujGearhead's photo
Tue 07/12/11 07:59 PM

I just read a really disturbing profile.

This man said that if you have EVER used drugs in your lifetime, DONT MAIL ME.

I was shocked to read this!

If you read my profile, I am very honest, and open,(like always)about the fact that I smoked meth, for a long time.In fact, I had no one, and no programs, so the Minglers were my only support system, and of course they were always there for me, cheering me on in my journey.

I quit cold turkey, just one day said "ive had enough of this", and stopped. I have been clean now for 4 years, and im never going back to that lifestyle again.

PEOPLE DO CHANGE! I quit, I found God, I am a completely different, and reborn person.Ive even been rebabtised! But that man will never know the kind of person that I am now.And I like who I am now, ive grown tremendously!

I remember when I quit, thinking that it was wonderful, that I would be able to date a whole different group of men now. The ones who are clean, and dont use drugs. But this man will never know me, and who ive become...and it makes me feel dirty and sad.

Am I over-reacting, just because of my past??? Whats your take on this??


Ever? WOW.... That's really narrowing down the field..... I wonder if he considers weed a drug? In that case, I'm curious how many people HAVEN'T smoked weed at least one time in their life?

If everybody had an outlook like that about ever doing something, I'd REEEEAAAAALLLLLLYYYYYY be in trouble! laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh