Topic: HE MADE ME FEEL NASTY!!!
luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 08:01 PM



I have always have had a bad memory even before the drugs. At our meetings we refer to each other as the family so I know where you are coming from. Music as a journal. Hmm. I like that idea. Kind of reminds me of the movie, "The Long Kiss Goodnight" with Samuel L. Jackson. That is a good flashback for me.:smile: He sang a little diddy while he was doing stuff to help him remember.:smile:
I should title my book of songs that....

"Music is my Journal".(when its finished that is) I do have a published book of poetry called, "Thoughts from Within", and alot of the poems in there were written as I was becoming clean. Alot of them, are on my profile.

Here is one of them......

IM BAAAAAAAAAACK


Im back from hell
im doing well
I dont use that chit now
cant you tell.

Im in gods grace
look at my face
no site of the devil
not even a trace.

I feel pretty good
just like i should
I knew I could do this
I just knew that I could.

Ill never go back
to smoking that whack
I cant believe I spent so much time
being gacked.

Im back from hell
Im doing well
I dont use that chit now
cant you tell.

by Roberta Murdock

Theres my little ditty!laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh

Really nice. :smile:

Here is one of mine.

The pebble

Master Po when will it be time
for me to leave?
When you can take the pebble
from my hand.
So many times grass hopper
tried and failed
because he was trying to take
the pebble from the hand.
It wasn't until he tapped
the hand downward that
the pebble hopped up.
He caught it in mid air
while it wasn't in the hand.
One comes, one leaves.
A new one starts and an old one leaves.
Life is a cycle that replays
with the old ones until they leave.
Hopefully the Young's ones
can learn something from the old.
Sometimes the new ones
fashion themselves after the old.
Sometimes the new ones
don't have to make
the mistakes of the old
but can learn from
the mistakes made by others.
Advice can help if one
truly listens.
Open minds can hold
much thought.
Honesty can teach so well.
Willingness can start
many new things.
Honesty, open mindedness and willingness
can open doors to pathways
that seemed closed before.
The pebble bounces.


Thats beautiful! I love it!!

Thank you for sharing my brother!

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 08:03 PM
Edited by luv2roknroll on Tue 07/12/11 08:05 PM


I have always have had a bad memory even before the drugs. At our meetings we refer to each other as the family so I know where you are coming from. Music as a journal. Hmm. I like that idea. Kind of reminds me of the movie, "The Long Kiss Goodnight" with Samuel L. Jackson. That is a good flashback for me.:smile: He sang a little diddy while he was doing stuff to help him remember.:smile:


I love that movie!

I do the same thing, using music as a journal. Did you ever see "With Honors" with Joe Pesci? He was a Harvard bum and used to save a pebble to remember important things in his life. My "pebbles" are songs. There is always something that fits.
Yeah its wierd...

I can remember song lyrics from 40 years ago...

but sometimes I dont remember something that happened last week.

It took me forever to learn my phone number by heart,and I still keep forgetting my address, and ive lived here a year. Geez!

It part of being bipolor. I just have to learn to jump that hurdle now too!

AndyBgood's photo
Tue 07/12/11 08:05 PM

I just read a really disturbing profile.

This man said that if you have EVER used drugs in your lifetime, DONT MAIL ME.

I was shocked to read this!

If you read my profile, I am very honest, and open,(like always)about the fact that I smoked meth, for a long time.In fact, I had no one, and no programs, so the Minglers were my only support system, and of course they were always there for me, cheering me on in my journey.

I quit cold turkey, just one day said "ive had enough of this", and stopped. I have been clean now for 4 years, and im never going back to that lifestyle again.

PEOPLE DO CHANGE! I quit, I found God, I am a completely different, and reborn person.Ive even been rebabtised! But that man will never know the kind of person that I am now.And I like who I am now, ive grown tremendously!

I remember when I quit, thinking that it was wonderful, that I would be able to date a whole different group of men now. The ones who are clean, and dont use drugs. But this man will never know me, and who ive become...and it makes me feel dirty and sad.

Am I over-reacting, just because of my past??? Whats your take on this??


Of all the addicts of any kind I knew you are one of the rare few to actually manage to walk away and people cannot see that. I went CT quitting a 3 pack a day cigarette habit in High School. it can be done.

But among those I know who are straight laced as in never done it, most of them are not so jaded as to haterate on people who used any kind of drug. Caffeine and Alcohol are technically drugs.

Don't let some grease ball bring you down. that person is just as miserable as anyone can get and likewise will share their misery.

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 08:09 PM

People are so silly. Maybe he has an addiction and fears he will have to share. laugh Or maybe he thinks he can protect himself by setting up a bunch of criteria to exclude the people he THINKS will make him unhappy. My guess is he's doing a good job of just that (setting himself up to be unhappy) by being judgmental with all the CAPS and stuffwhoa Whereas you are obviously warm and caring and Strong. If this were a horse race of potential happiness, I'd be betting on you! flowerforyou
Thank you sister!

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 08:11 PM


I just read a really disturbing profile.

This man said that if you have EVER used drugs in your lifetime, DONT MAIL ME.

I was shocked to read this!

If you read my profile, I am very honest, and open,(like always)about the fact that I smoked meth, for a long time.In fact, I had no one, and no programs, so the Minglers were my only support system, and of course they were always there for me, cheering me on in my journey.

I quit cold turkey, just one day said "ive had enough of this", and stopped. I have been clean now for 4 years, and im never going back to that lifestyle again.

PEOPLE DO CHANGE! I quit, I found God, I am a completely different, and reborn person.Ive even been rebabtised! But that man will never know the kind of person that I am now.And I like who I am now, ive grown tremendously!

I remember when I quit, thinking that it was wonderful, that I would be able to date a whole different group of men now. The ones who are clean, and dont use drugs. But this man will never know me, and who ive become...and it makes me feel dirty and sad.

Am I over-reacting, just because of my past??? Whats your take on this??


Of all the addicts of any kind I knew you are one of the rare few to actually manage to walk away and people cannot see that. I went CT quitting a 3 pack a day cigarette habit in High School. it can be done.

But among those I know who are straight laced as in never done it, most of them are not so jaded as to haterate on people who used any kind of drug. Caffeine and Alcohol are technically drugs.

Don't let some grease ball bring you down. that person is just as miserable as anyone can get and likewise will share their misery.
Thank you brother!

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 08:11 PM


I just read a really disturbing profile.

This man said that if you have EVER used drugs in your lifetime, DONT MAIL ME.

I was shocked to read this!

If you read my profile, I am very honest, and open,(like always)about the fact that I smoked meth, for a long time.In fact, I had no one, and no programs, so the Minglers were my only support system, and of course they were always there for me, cheering me on in my journey.

I quit cold turkey, just one day said "ive had enough of this", and stopped. I have been clean now for 4 years, and im never going back to that lifestyle again.

PEOPLE DO CHANGE! I quit, I found God, I am a completely different, and reborn person.Ive even been rebabtised! But that man will never know the kind of person that I am now.And I like who I am now, ive grown tremendously!

I remember when I quit, thinking that it was wonderful, that I would be able to date a whole different group of men now. The ones who are clean, and dont use drugs. But this man will never know me, and who ive become...and it makes me feel dirty and sad.

Am I over-reacting, just because of my past??? Whats your take on this??


Ever? WOW.... That's really narrowing down the field..... I wonder if he considers weed a drug? In that case, I'm curious how many people HAVEN'T smoked weed at least one time in their life?

If everybody had an outlook like that about ever doing something, I'd REEEEAAAAALLLLLLYYYYYY be in trouble! laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh
Thank you my wonderful boyfriend!

ujGearhead's photo
Tue 07/12/11 08:23 PM



I just read a really disturbing profile.

This man said that if you have EVER used drugs in your lifetime, DONT MAIL ME.

I was shocked to read this!

If you read my profile, I am very honest, and open,(like always)about the fact that I smoked meth, for a long time.In fact, I had no one, and no programs, so the Minglers were my only support system, and of course they were always there for me, cheering me on in my journey.

I quit cold turkey, just one day said "ive had enough of this", and stopped. I have been clean now for 4 years, and im never going back to that lifestyle again.

PEOPLE DO CHANGE! I quit, I found God, I am a completely different, and reborn person.Ive even been rebabtised! But that man will never know the kind of person that I am now.And I like who I am now, ive grown tremendously!

I remember when I quit, thinking that it was wonderful, that I would be able to date a whole different group of men now. The ones who are clean, and dont use drugs. But this man will never know me, and who ive become...and it makes me feel dirty and sad.

Am I over-reacting, just because of my past??? Whats your take on this??


Ever? WOW.... That's really narrowing down the field..... I wonder if he considers weed a drug? In that case, I'm curious how many people HAVEN'T smoked weed at least one time in their life?

If everybody had an outlook like that about ever doing something, I'd REEEEAAAAALLLLLLYYYYYY be in trouble! laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh
Thank you my wonderful boyfriend!


flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 08:26 PM




I just read a really disturbing profile.

This man said that if you have EVER used drugs in your lifetime, DONT MAIL ME.

I was shocked to read this!

If you read my profile, I am very honest, and open,(like always)about the fact that I smoked meth, for a long time.In fact, I had no one, and no programs, so the Minglers were my only support system, and of course they were always there for me, cheering me on in my journey.

I quit cold turkey, just one day said "ive had enough of this", and stopped. I have been clean now for 4 years, and im never going back to that lifestyle again.

PEOPLE DO CHANGE! I quit, I found God, I am a completely different, and reborn person.Ive even been rebabtised! But that man will never know the kind of person that I am now.And I like who I am now, ive grown tremendously!

I remember when I quit, thinking that it was wonderful, that I would be able to date a whole different group of men now. The ones who are clean, and dont use drugs. But this man will never know me, and who ive become...and it makes me feel dirty and sad.

Am I over-reacting, just because of my past??? Whats your take on this??


Ever? WOW.... That's really narrowing down the field..... I wonder if he considers weed a drug? In that case, I'm curious how many people HAVEN'T smoked weed at least one time in their life?

If everybody had an outlook like that about ever doing something, I'd REEEEAAAAALLLLLLYYYYYY be in trouble! laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh
Thank you my wonderful boyfriend!


flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou
Oh, flowers for me? Your so good to me!love

ujGearhead's photo
Tue 07/12/11 08:27 PM





I just read a really disturbing profile.

This man said that if you have EVER used drugs in your lifetime, DONT MAIL ME.

I was shocked to read this!

If you read my profile, I am very honest, and open,(like always)about the fact that I smoked meth, for a long time.In fact, I had no one, and no programs, so the Minglers were my only support system, and of course they were always there for me, cheering me on in my journey.

I quit cold turkey, just one day said "ive had enough of this", and stopped. I have been clean now for 4 years, and im never going back to that lifestyle again.

PEOPLE DO CHANGE! I quit, I found God, I am a completely different, and reborn person.Ive even been rebabtised! But that man will never know the kind of person that I am now.And I like who I am now, ive grown tremendously!

I remember when I quit, thinking that it was wonderful, that I would be able to date a whole different group of men now. The ones who are clean, and dont use drugs. But this man will never know me, and who ive become...and it makes me feel dirty and sad.

Am I over-reacting, just because of my past??? Whats your take on this??


Ever? WOW.... That's really narrowing down the field..... I wonder if he considers weed a drug? In that case, I'm curious how many people HAVEN'T smoked weed at least one time in their life?

If everybody had an outlook like that about ever doing something, I'd REEEEAAAAALLLLLLYYYYYY be in trouble! laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh
Thank you my wonderful boyfriend!


flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou
Oh, flowers for me? Your so good to me!love


Hey, that's just how I roll......... bigsmile

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 08:32 PM






I just read a really disturbing profile.

This man said that if you have EVER used drugs in your lifetime, DONT MAIL ME.

I was shocked to read this!

If you read my profile, I am very honest, and open,(like always)about the fact that I smoked meth, for a long time.In fact, I had no one, and no programs, so the Minglers were my only support system, and of course they were always there for me, cheering me on in my journey.

I quit cold turkey, just one day said "ive had enough of this", and stopped. I have been clean now for 4 years, and im never going back to that lifestyle again.

PEOPLE DO CHANGE! I quit, I found God, I am a completely different, and reborn person.Ive even been rebabtised! But that man will never know the kind of person that I am now.And I like who I am now, ive grown tremendously!

I remember when I quit, thinking that it was wonderful, that I would be able to date a whole different group of men now. The ones who are clean, and dont use drugs. But this man will never know me, and who ive become...and it makes me feel dirty and sad.

Am I over-reacting, just because of my past??? Whats your take on this??


Ever? WOW.... That's really narrowing down the field..... I wonder if he considers weed a drug? In that case, I'm curious how many people HAVEN'T smoked weed at least one time in their life?

If everybody had an outlook like that about ever doing something, I'd REEEEAAAAALLLLLLYYYYYY be in trouble! laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh
Thank you my wonderful boyfriend!


flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou
Oh, flowers for me? Your so good to me!love


Hey, that's just how I roll......... bigsmile
:thumbsup: shades laugh laugh laugh laugh

no photo
Tue 07/12/11 09:03 PM
Edited by wolfchic on Tue 07/12/11 09:06 PM


I have always have had a bad memory even before the drugs. At our meetings we refer to each other as the family so I know where you are coming from. Music as a journal. Hmm. I like that idea. Kind of reminds me of the movie, "The Long Kiss Goodnight" with Samuel L. Jackson. That is a good flashback for me.:smile: He sang a little diddy while he was doing stuff to help him remember.:smile:
I should title my book of songs that....

"Music is my Journal".(when its finished that is) I do have a published book of poetry called, "Thoughts from Within", and alot of the poems in there were written as I was becoming clean. Alot of them, are on my profile.

Here is one of them......

IM BAAAAAAAAAACK


Im back from hell
im doing well
I dont use that chit now
cant you tell.

Im in gods grace
look at my face
no site of the devil
not even a trace.

I feel pretty good
just like i should
I knew I could do this
I just knew that I could.

Ill never go back
to smoking that whack
I cant believe I spent so much time
being gacked.

Im back from hell
Im doing well
I dont use that chit now
cant you tell.

by Roberta Murdock

Theres my little ditty!laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh




AMEN!!!!flowers flowers flowers flowers
Enough said. Stay focused sweety.His issues are not yours!

luv2roknroll's photo
Tue 07/12/11 09:07 PM



I have always have had a bad memory even before the drugs. At our meetings we refer to each other as the family so I know where you are coming from. Music as a journal. Hmm. I like that idea. Kind of reminds me of the movie, "The Long Kiss Goodnight" with Samuel L. Jackson. That is a good flashback for me.:smile: He sang a little diddy while he was doing stuff to help him remember.:smile:
I should title my book of songs that....

"Music is my Journal".(when its finished that is) I do have a published book of poetry called, "Thoughts from Within", and alot of the poems in there were written as I was becoming clean. Alot of them, are on my profile.

Here is one of them......

IM BAAAAAAAAAACK


Im back from hell
im doing well
I dont use that chit now
cant you tell.

Im in gods grace
look at my face
no site of the devil
not even a trace.

I feel pretty good
just like i should
I knew I could do this
I just knew that I could.

Ill never go back
to smoking that whack
I cant believe I spent so much time
being gacked.

Im back from hell
Im doing well
I dont use that chit now
cant you tell.

by Roberta Murdock

Theres my little ditty!laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh




AMEN!!!!flowers flowers flowers flowers
Enough said. Stay focused sweety.His issues are not yours!
THank you sister!

JulieMP's photo
Tue 07/12/11 09:21 PM

I just read a really disturbing profile.

This man said that if you have EVER used drugs in your lifetime, DONT MAIL ME.

I was shocked to read this!

If you read my profile, I am very honest, and open,(like always)about the fact that I smoked meth, for a long time.In fact, I had no one, and no programs, so the Minglers were my only support system, and of course they were always there for me, cheering me on in my journey.

I quit cold turkey, just one day said "ive had enough of this", and stopped. I have been clean now for 4 years, and im never going back to that lifestyle again.

PEOPLE DO CHANGE! I quit, I found God, I am a completely different, and reborn person.Ive even been rebabtised! But that man will never know the kind of person that I am now.And I like who I am now, ive grown tremendously!

I remember when I quit, thinking that it was wonderful, that I would be able to date a whole different group of men now. The ones who are clean, and dont use drugs. But this man will never know me, and who ive become...and it makes me feel dirty and sad.

Am I over-reacting, just because of my past??? Whats your take on this??


you are over reacting because you read a random profile.

if you had established a relationship that would be different.


there seems to be different worlds. those who use drugs or have used drugs and those who have not.

You can not get angry at them for not understanding, those of us who are not or have never been junkies will never understand. Because we have to battle through life, and all the pains without a crutch.

There is no sympathy for those who say "I am in recovery". they will always relapse and the sober people will always have to pick them up and have their hearts broken.



I will always run away from a junkie so my world is not ruined, my heart not broken again. some things are not forgiven EVER.

Junkies choose their path..and have no right and can not ever relocate blame.

no photo
Tue 07/12/11 09:46 PM


I just read a really disturbing profile.

This man said that if you have EVER used drugs in your lifetime, DONT MAIL ME.

I was shocked to read this!

If you read my profile, I am very honest, and open,(like always)about the fact that I smoked meth, for a long time.In fact, I had no one, and no programs, so the Minglers were my only support system, and of course they were always there for me, cheering me on in my journey.

I quit cold turkey, just one day said "ive had enough of this", and stopped. I have been clean now for 4 years, and im never going back to that lifestyle again.

PEOPLE DO CHANGE! I quit, I found God, I am a completely different, and reborn person.Ive even been rebabtised! But that man will never know the kind of person that I am now.And I like who I am now, ive grown tremendously!

I remember when I quit, thinking that it was wonderful, that I would be able to date a whole different group of men now. The ones who are clean, and dont use drugs. But this man will never know me, and who ive become...and it makes me feel dirty and sad.

Am I over-reacting, just because of my past??? Whats your take on this??


you are over reacting because you read a random profile.

if you had established a relationship that would be different.


there seems to be different worlds. those who use drugs or have used drugs and those who have not.

You can not get angry at them for not understanding, those of us who are not or have never been junkies will never understand. Because we have to battle through life, and all the pains without a crutch.

There is no sympathy for those who say "I am in recovery". they will always relapse and the sober people will always have to pick them up and have their hearts broken.



I will always run away from a junkie so my world is not ruined, my heart not broken again. some things are not forgiven EVER.

Junkies choose their path..and have no right and can not ever relocate blame.



Wow,that was honest and great!Gota give you credit for standing on your convictions.
Buttttttttttt,claiming all will relaps is wrong.I>M>O.
Not all will.
Ever heard of there was only one perfect man,and he was crucified?

JulieMP's photo
Tue 07/12/11 09:51 PM
I have been taught that story. what does that have to do with junkies?

no photo
Tue 07/12/11 09:55 PM
You've done well at overcoming things. Why let others opinions get you down? To hell with them i say. Judgemental people can be mean. Very mean. But what do they know? So what if you DID do drugs? Are they so superior that they can't get their own head out of their a$$? Much love :heart:

JulieMP's photo
Tue 07/12/11 10:05 PM
lol u tell them sweetheart.

always better to comply and be pretty then be ugly and right

no photo
Wed 07/13/11 11:17 AM
I look back at what things affected me over the years, but i know not to get upset about such things, if any were to happen to me again. As it would be silly to let bad things get to me. Seeing as i never want to get like that ever again.

wux's photo
Wed 07/13/11 12:17 PM
Women, please don't mail me, if

- you are dead (I am afraid of what I don't know)
- you have EVER made love to an anaconda (Josie excepted)
- your mother was a hampster and your father smelled of elderberries;
- you have more than twenty-seven snakes growing out of your sculp for hair;
- you are on first name basis with God;
- you don't like Wiener Schnitzel, and never had it;
- you can't sing, neither on key, nor off.

winterblue56's photo
Wed 07/13/11 01:04 PM


there seems to be different worlds. those who use drugs or have used drugs and those who have not.

Believe it or not...it's not just black and white


You can not get angry at them for not understanding, those of us who are not or have never been junkies will never understand. Because we have to battle through life, and all the pains without a crutch.

We don't have to have been a junkie to understand. Sympathy, Humbleness and Being Thankful that it hasn't happened to us...makes us understand without having "been there". Pain is Pain.
With or Without a crutch.


There is no sympathy for those who say "I am in recovery". they will always relapse and the sober people will always have to pick them up and have their hearts broken.


That is not true. Just your opinion. And I will gladly lend a hand up to anyone who asks for it.


I will always run away from a junkie so my world is not ruined, my heart not broken again. some things are not forgiven EVER.

The saying "walk a mile in my shoes" gives one insight and compassion for another human being despite the road they chose. Hearts are meant to be broken ...and everything is Forgivable in God's eyes.


Junkies choose their path..and have no right and can not ever relocate blame.

Every human being on this planet has a right to choose which path to take. A broken path many times leads to our Creator alot sooner than a straight path would. I'm sorry that your heart was hurt by a junkie.