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| Topic: Deal Breakers | |
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Maybe I'm going about this all wrong. But I have deal-breakers. Hell, I've been married, I've dated, I know what I just can't be okay with. I'm a little curious if other people agree/disagree or just want to offer their perspective.
So, without further adieu, my list of deal breakers (in no particular order) - The "Little Man Complex." Don't misinterpret this to mean that I have a height requirement. I don't. At all (how horrible of a person that would make me, at only 5'1", ha!). What I have a problem with, is men who have to prove something because THEY are uncomfortable with their height. Take my ex: at 5'7", he would offer to 'beat someone up' who was no threat at all to him or I, but just as proof (apparently to me) that he was capable. However, when push came to shove and it was time to step up and grow a real backbone, he was unable. This is a guy who drove a lifted, modified, big, black SUV with "USMC" stickers all over the place. Best part? I met him in the military... the Air Force. OMG. I married the idiot (bad on me). On the other side of that coin is a friend that I have now (who I care for deeply, but who has told me that he has no interest in a relationship-- don't ask, long story). This one is 5'6" but couldn't be more secure. He's older, more than 10 years older than I am, but I do adore him. I've seen him get between two men, each twice his size, to deter a fight. I knew it wasn't to impress me, back in his rugby days he's taken far bigger injuries, this would have been minor. - Video Games. I don't feel the need to elaborate on this one. - "Me Man, You Woman" attitude. Yeah, I'm a girl, but if I'd rather have a beer at a pub with friends, than meet up with the other moms on the block, that should be quite alright. I find that I have little in common with the suburban mom's in my area. I don't bake, have little patience/talent for crafting, and well, I'm totally ok with that. - Picky eaters. Man up. Grow up. Eat. If you whine because there are pieces of tomato in your marinara that aren't unrecognizable to your sensitive palate, then you're a nuisance and I seriously will not go out with you again. Sounds harsh, I know. Personal pet-peeve. What can I say, I'm jaded in weird ways. - Invertebrates. Please grow one. Stand up to me. I can be a bit aggressive at times, but I usually mean it with good intentions and just come off in ways that I don't see, unless you tell me. And if you're compensating, your attitude will probably mirror that of the first pet-peeve (see above). - Grammar/Spelling. Yeah, I know, it really shouldn't matter. But it does. I edit for a living. You may as well go on a date with your High School English Teacher. I send text messages in full sentences, and WITH punctuation (shocking, I know). Do I screw up periodically? Of course. I'm forgiving, I just appreciate effort. Curious what people think. Bad list? What are your deal breakers? |
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poor me attitudes
the bible is a joke attitudes Obama sucks attitudes life is a party attitudes the world is out to get me/us attitudes men and women are the same attitudes ,,,thats all of them I can think of... |
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I think thats a pretty good and understandable list.
A dealbreaker for me is a BIOTCH(excuse the spelling, you cant say ***** here!). I can't stand biotchyness. |
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Edited by
Troublebug
on
Fri 09/09/11 12:23 AM
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Maybe I'm going about this all wrong. But I have deal-breakers. Hell, I've been married, I've dated, I know what I just can't be okay with. I'm a little curious if other people agree/disagree or just want to offer their perspective. So, without further adieu, my list of deal breakers (in no particular order) - The "Little Man Complex." Don't misinterpret this to mean that I have a height requirement. I don't. At all (how horrible of a person that would make me, at only 5'1", ha!). What I have a problem with, is men who have to prove something because THEY are uncomfortable with their height. Take my ex: at 5'7", he would offer to 'beat someone up' who was no threat at all to him or I, but just as proof (apparently to me) that he was capable. However, when push came to shove and it was time to step up and grow a real backbone, he was unable. This is a guy who drove a lifted, modified, big, black SUV with "USMC" stickers all over the place. Best part? I met him in the military... the Air Force. OMG. I married the idiot (bad on me). On the other side of that coin is a friend that I have now (who I care for deeply, but who has told me that he has no interest in a relationship-- don't ask, long story). This one is 5'6" but couldn't be more secure. He's older, more than 10 years older than I am, but I do adore him. I've seen him get between two men, each twice his size, to deter a fight. I knew it wasn't to impress me, back in his rugby days he's taken far bigger injuries, this would have been minor. - Video Games. I don't feel the need to elaborate on this one. - "Me Man, You Woman" attitude. Yeah, I'm a girl, but if I'd rather have a beer at a pub with friends, than meet up with the other moms on the block, that should be quite alright. I find that I have little in common with the suburban mom's in my area. I don't bake, have little patience/talent for crafting, and well, I'm totally ok with that. - Picky eaters. Man up. Grow up. Eat. If you whine because there are pieces of tomato in your marinara that aren't unrecognizable to your sensitive palate, then you're a nuisance and I seriously will not go out with you again. Sounds harsh, I know. Personal pet-peeve. What can I say, I'm jaded in weird ways. - Invertebrates. Please grow one. Stand up to me. I can be a bit aggressive at times, but I usually mean it with good intentions and just come off in ways that I don't see, unless you tell me. And if you're compensating, your attitude will probably mirror that of the first pet-peeve (see above). - Grammar/Spelling. Yeah, I know, it really shouldn't matter. But it does. I edit for a living. You may as well go on a date with your High School English Teacher. I send text messages in full sentences, and WITH punctuation (shocking, I know). Do I screw up periodically? Of course. I'm forgiving, I just appreciate effort. Curious what people think. Bad list? What are your deal breakers? I agree wholeheatedly with all of yours. *Unfaithful, untruthful *Taking everything for granted *Having the woe is me syndrome (Every bad always happens to only them) *Getting whateer they can from anyone attitude |
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Concur on the "woe is me" victim mentality. Not at all attractive on any man. As a veteran, I can certainly appreciate the non-patriotism being a turn-off. Gender roles/equality is a fuzzy line. I think that men are typically better suited at certain activities than their female counterparts, but in the cases where they aren't, then that should be appreciated/respected and utilized. Case in point, when I was married, I was by far more competent in general car maintenance, so my ex would really frustrate me when he got all machismo and wanted to take over, knowing full well that I had WAY more experience than he did. I don't particularly mind the 'life is a party' mentality. Personally, I agree that life is wonderful and should be enjoyed, and this means different things to different people. Do I think that our responsibilities should suffer as a result? Absolutely not. I also don't think that if our "party" lifestyle comes into conflict with other people (causing any sort of distress) then it also needs to be re-evaluated, to varying degrees.
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A woman with children.
I don't want to get into a relationship where I'm having to help raise someone elses children and all the other issues that come with that, such as the ex still being too involved in their life. |
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Edited by
TexasScoundrel
on
Fri 09/09/11 06:51 AM
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Drinking (or smoking pot) more than once or twice a week or to access more than a coupe of times a year.
Any kind of had drugs. Nagging. But, each relationship is unique. If she does something that bothers me I ask myself if I can put up with it forever. If I can, I never talk about it. If I can't, I get out. I tel the women in my life to accept me as I am, without complaining, or leave me, because I'm not going to change and I hate being nagged. |
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They must have a car, as I am not going to be picking them up and driving them around 100% of the time.
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Bad breath...bad BO...sex that last only 2 minutes....yuck...what the heck was I thinking????
 
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Men who still let their ex wives run their life
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Agreed about the ex wife running their lives... add to that moms running their lives.
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is he good in bed and cute (to me)?
yes? OK - it's a go I'm not a criteria person but I like my physical man or my man physical w/e... |
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When women tell me "how it's gonna be" or have a "deal breaker" list.....see ya!
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When women tell me "how it's gonna be" or have a "deal breaker" list.....see ya! touche tiger....lemme catch up to ya dang suma those lists are loooong 
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1.) No kids. I have no interest in being a parent or being with one. If you're planning on lying to me up front ("Oh, no, absolutely not, I never wanted kids either!") and then trying to change my mind after 3 months, forget it. No means no. No kids means no kids. Capice?
2.) No drugs. 3.) No alcohol. I've watched too many people die -- people I loved -- because of alcohol. I don't want that in my life anymore. 4.) The English language is my milieu. If you can't utilize it above a third grade level, we are going to have issues. 5.) If your idea of being creative is making a bed, popping out a baby, or parallel parking, we are going to have issues. I write books. I really don't want to be entangled with someone who has no concept of the creative process. 6.) I am not going to be domesticated, tamed, turned into a cardboard cutout, or devolved into your delusional depiction of "Prince Charming." |
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actually Lex, parallel parking can take some talent
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actually Lex, parallel parking can take some talent Right, but they don't have a Nobel Prize for that. Yet. |
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actually Lex, parallel parking can take some talent Right, but they don't have a Nobel Prize for that. Yet. a fault of the committee, not of those who possess the talent |
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actually Lex, parallel parking can take some talent Right, but they don't have a Nobel Prize for that. Yet. 
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actually Lex, parallel parking can take some talent Right, but they don't have a Nobel Prize for that. Yet. Only if the car is equipped with a Calabi-Yau manifold. NOBODY is going to get that one! |
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