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| Topic: run and hide.... | |
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I am not talking about scammers, I am talking about boyfriends you actually end up with, does anybody else panic and freak out on guys who want to commit really fast like whips out a ring or offers to take care of you, etc. and means it? It gives me heart failure and nothing will break me up faster. I enjoy the courtship and honeymoon phases of the relationship and when guys want to rush to marriage and long term commitment, I just panic after being married 16 years and with the same guy 20 years. I want to know someone really really really well before I do anything like that when half of it ends in divorce. Any feelings on that?
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How fast are you talking about?
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Shshs a few years ago I met this guy and within two weeks he already had plans of me selling my house and moving two hours away.....
   Not even going to happen needless to say it ended quickly after that...
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Oh, this made me think of an email I got earlier on another site similar to this one. The guy needed to know how much I weighed and if I'd be able to have children (this was the second or third email). When I asked why, he said because he needed to know that information about a future wife.
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I will not even look at a ring for a good two years. I warn them up front. I would not move for at least 3 and I warn them up front. I you pull out a ring or say move before then. You are going to get "Put your ring back in your pocket" or worse depending on my gut reaction. I dated one guy within a month he was planning my future and I told him to stuff his entire lifestyle, etc. back in his pocket.
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Ah. I don't have a set schedule for when things need to happen in a relationship. I like to see how things go and take it from there.
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When my first hubby threw the question at me,
I threw up. Right in his face. Spontaneously. We were both rather shocked. Things were going so well. But when your parents have 11 marriages between them, this is one thing you do not rush. So, run and hide is greatly appealing :-) |
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Edited by
Jess642
on
Tue 11/08/11 01:44 PM
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ummm....am sitting here chuckling...I must look like the original doofus, to others!
Stephen walked through my door, with a mutual friend of ours....and I knew....I knew instantly, there was something incredibly special about this man. We had a week together, not alone, kids, friends, campfires, music...a total of one night alone together, and we sat under the full moon, on my favourite beach, and talked, swam, and laughed until dawn..not even a kiss or hand holding to be seen! He left with our mutual friend, travelling north...exactly one week later, he walked back through my door...and is still here. Marriage?...nup, not ever on the agenda. Kids?...we have 11 between us...so nup no need for more. Committed?...we live together in a house called 'Asylum'..  ...we re-commit daily, when we awaken...we know daily, if we wish to spend this new day together...and that is enough, for both of us.
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ummm....am sitting here chuckling...I must look like the original doofus, to others! Stephen walked through my door, with a mutual friend of ours....and I knew....I knew instantly, there was something incredibly special about this man. We had a week together, not alone, kids, friends, campfires, music...a total of one night alone together, and we sat under the full moon, on my favourite beach, and talked, swam, and laughed until dawn..not even a kiss or hand holding to be seen! He left with our mutual friend, travelling north...exactly one week later, he walked back through my door...and is still here. Marriage?...nup, not ever on the agenda. Kids?...we have 11 between us...so nup no need for more. Committed?...we live together in a house called 'Asylum'.. ...we re-commit daily, when we awaken...we know daily, if we wish to spend this new day together...and that is enough, for both of us. so happy for you Jess. I don;t think I would have expected anything less, you know what you want and don't muck around, So I can't see you fiddling around waiting when you know it;s right  I love your picture. For me, Well I met him online. Flew across the world 5 weeks later to make sure he was the ONE. Was engaged a few weeks after that. He flew here. Now I'm going back and getting married. But saying that, I have had many offers of marraige that i laughed at as they where just silly and i hardly knew the person. Which sounds wierd as i was engaged after a couple of months, but somehow it was right. Now I am just confusing myself. |
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Edited by
Jess642
on
Tue 11/08/11 02:04 PM
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ummm....am sitting here chuckling...I must look like the original doofus, to others! Stephen walked through my door, with a mutual friend of ours....and I knew....I knew instantly, there was something incredibly special about this man. We had a week together, not alone, kids, friends, campfires, music...a total of one night alone together, and we sat under the full moon, on my favourite beach, and talked, swam, and laughed until dawn..not even a kiss or hand holding to be seen! He left with our mutual friend, travelling north...exactly one week later, he walked back through my door...and is still here. Marriage?...nup, not ever on the agenda. Kids?...we have 11 between us...so nup no need for more. Committed?...we live together in a house called 'Asylum'.. ...we re-commit daily, when we awaken...we know daily, if we wish to spend this new day together...and that is enough, for both of us. so happy for you Jess. I don;t think I would have expected anything less, you know what you want and don't muck around, So I can't see you fiddling around waiting when you know it;s right I love your picture. For me, Well I met him online. Flew across the world 5 weeks later to make sure he was the ONE. Was engaged a few weeks after that. He flew here. Now I'm going back and getting married. But saying that, I have had many offers of marraige that i laughed at as they where just silly and i hardly knew the person. Which sounds wierd as i was engaged after a couple of months, but somehow it was right. Now I am just confusing myself. Hello Josie!.... it isn't strange or weird....you KNEW, he KNEW...and the past year or so, has only strengthened that Knowing for both of you. it's funny, we have this giant empty country to rattle around in....plenty of places to hide, physically, and emotionally...and both of us are locked in, content, and happy.  and yep, so far it is my favourite pic of Kevin and his little Lara...it's so cool being a granny! |
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I don't believe in a set time for anything.... I only knew my ex for about 2-3 months before we got married and we were married for 11 years....
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When my first hubby threw the question at me, I threw up. Right in his face. Spontaneously. We were both rather shocked. Things were going so well. But when your parents have 11 marriages between them, this is one thing you do not rush. So, run and hide is greatly appealing :-) I had to laugh. I do not literally throw up but I will verbally throw up I will say things that I did not ever think would come out of my mouth to make them stop. Like, "I reject your city, your house, your career, your entire lifestyle. This was not part of the package". I can love them and I will still throw up walls like that. I may not mean it but I will say or do almost anything to stop it if they do it too soon. And sometimes the more they push, the more not nice I get. Like one hit me with "without you to share it with, it means nothing" so I was like, "well then if you are going to push this, I guess it means nothing". |
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I am not talking about scammers, I am talking about boyfriends you actually end up with, does anybody else panic and freak out on guys who want to commit really fast like whips out a ring or offers to take care of you, etc. and means it? It gives me heart failure and nothing will break me up faster. I enjoy the courtship and honeymoon phases of the relationship and when guys want to rush to marriage and long term commitment, I just panic after being married 16 years and with the same guy 20 years. I want to know someone really really really well before I do anything like that when half of it ends in divorce. Any feelings on that? we have SOO much in common, I relate so completely to most everything you post I too like to take my time, Im weary of someone who feels they know me well enough in a month or two to commit for a lifetime,,,,screams of desperation to not be 'alone' more than a real interest in me (who they havent taken time to truly know very well) |
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I don't like men who assume too much. Like they want to know all about my incoming income and expenses, etc. I am like "You do not live here or pay bills and I do not ask you for money. Don't worry about it. It's legit".
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Wow .. I suppose I have been lucky that I have not had these loon types ask me them questions. Makes my skin crawl just thinking about it.
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I am not talking about scammers, I am talking about boyfriends you actually end up with, does anybody else panic and freak out on guys who want to commit really fast like whips out a ring or offers to take care of you, etc. and means it? It gives me heart failure and nothing will break me up faster. I enjoy the courtship and honeymoon phases of the relationship and when guys want to rush to marriage and long term commitment, I just panic after being married 16 years and with the same guy 20 years. I want to know someone really really really well before I do anything like that when half of it ends in divorce. Any feelings on that? Yep, that was always a red flag to me when a guy wants to commit that fast. Their brains aren't wired that way.
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I am not talking about scammers, I am talking about boyfriends you actually end up with, does anybody else panic and freak out on guys who want to commit really fast like whips out a ring or offers to take care of you, etc. and means it? It gives me heart failure and nothing will break me up faster. I enjoy the courtship and honeymoon phases of the relationship and when guys want to rush to marriage and long term commitment, I just panic after being married 16 years and with the same guy 20 years. I want to know someone really really really well before I do anything like that when half of it ends in divorce. Any feelings on that? Yep, that was always a red flag to me when a guy wants to commit that fast. Their brains aren't wired that way. Lisa: Promise me you'll never die. Gary Johnston: You know I can't promise that. Lisa: If you did that, I would make love to you right now. Gary Johnston: I promise I'll never die. |
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Ah. I don't have a set schedule for when things need to happen in a relationship. I like to see how things go and take it from there. 
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I am not talking about scammers, I am talking about boyfriends you actually end up with, does anybody else panic and freak out on guys who want to commit really fast like whips out a ring or offers to take care of you, etc. and means it? It gives me heart failure and nothing will break me up faster. I enjoy the courtship and honeymoon phases of the relationship and when guys want to rush to marriage and long term commitment, I just panic after being married 16 years and with the same guy 20 years. I want to know someone really really really well before I do anything like that when half of it ends in divorce. Any feelings on that? They are going to need a full understanding of m-theory before I will even consider dating them. And they will have to make a really good pumpkin pie after that. |
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I would appreciate anything, if it was sincere, no matter when it was. When it happens should'nt factor in a decision. If I found an incredible woman, I would want to let her know how I feel right away. I may not propose, but it should be taken as flattery and not a red flag automatically.
If it happens alot however, that would be scary. |
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