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Topic: I think my son is gay
msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 12/04/11 11:18 PM
In my search for answers I also found this link. They are gays with different experiences and stories, who wish to change from gay to straight for this coming new year 2012, just for the general info: http://www.43things.com/things/view/85263/stop-being-gay Again for all of the contributors, thank you for posting on this thread. thank you for posting this I think the key is in letting them know they are capable of 'being' who and what they wish to be, even when its not easy, and that there is no rush for them to 'define' themselves sexually,,,,

Kleisto Joined Tue 05/13/08 Posts: 5704	Sun 12/04/11 11:49 PM
Or we can choose to not conform to society and just be who we are. I think it's more difficult trying to be something your not. In my opinion, it is always good to guide him to command himself with respect, dignity and decency. So he can receive the same from his peers. But being young at this point it is quiet impossible as kids will always be kids and this is where the problem will start. I thank you for your patience with all of us and our many conflicting viewpoints. I know you love your son and his social well-being is a major concern to you. He is not an adult and he is only testing the waters of life. Unless I missed the post...I have not read anything here that establishes him as gay. He has not made that declaration...right? I assure you he is not gay...unless others convince him he is. People who see his behaviors and pat him on the back saying "It's ok to be gay, honey". I think people who approach children in that manner are instigators. they are not far from being child-molesters. and i think those who believe one who supports their children in their own choices being likened to a child molesters is hateful, mentally disturbed, confused and self righteous Amen, my jaw about hit the floor when I saw the statement. It's absolutely absurd, as is comparing homosexuality to pedophilia as well. Pick your jaw up you seem to be tripping over that thing... and you are twisting my words with it too (try duct tape)... unless you are insinuating that adults who tell children it's "okay" are homosexuals... ...there was no comparing homosexuals to pedophiles on my part. I say, "People who encourage children to pursue a gay lifestyle...are indeed molesting them." They are invading their innocence. I disagree, they are simply trying to help them deal with the changes in them as they go through puberty, regardless of attraction. They may not be what YOU'D tell them, but molesting them it is not. If anything I think by trying to tell them that an attraction to the same sex is by no uncertain terms wrong, and not to be acted on at any cost, does far more damage than just trying to help deal with the changes that come as they are beginning to realize their sexuality and sexual attractions, and invading their ability to be themselves. A lot of the issues gay children have growing up is because of this casting out that occurs for how they are feeling. We eliminate that, and I make you a bet they will feel a lot better and won't feel so ashamed of themselves. Also, I know you didn't compare homosexuals to pedophiles, it just reminded me of that type of argument that I've seen made before that is equally ridiculous.

CeriseRose Joined Mon 08/02/10 Posts: 6220	Mon 12/05/11 06:43 AM
Or we can choose to not conform to society and just be who we are. I think it's more difficult trying to be something your not. In my opinion, it is always good to guide him to command himself with respect, dignity and decency. So he can receive the same from his peers. But being young at this point it is quiet impossible as kids will always be kids and this is where the problem will start. I thank you for your patience with all of us and our many conflicting viewpoints. I know you love your son and his social well-being is a major concern to you. He is not an adult and he is only testing the waters of life. Unless I missed the post...I have not read anything here that establishes him as gay. He has not made that declaration...right? I assure you he is not gay...unless others convince him he is. People who see his behaviors and pat him on the back saying "It's ok to be gay, honey". I think people who approach children in that manner are instigators. they are not far from being child-molesters. and i think those who believe one who supports their children in their own choices being likened to a child molesters is hateful, mentally disturbed, confused and self righteous Amen, my jaw about hit the floor when I saw the statement. It's absolutely absurd, as is comparing homosexuality to pedophilia as well. Pick your jaw up you seem to be tripping over that thing... and you are twisting my words with it too (try duct tape)... unless you are insinuating that adults who tell children it's "okay" are homosexuals... ...there was no comparing homosexuals to pedophiles on my part. I say, "People who encourage children to pursue a gay lifestyle...are indeed molesting them." They are invading their innocence. I disagree, they are simply trying to help them deal with the changes in them as they go through puberty, regardless of attraction. They may not be what YOU'D tell them, but molesting them it is not. If anything I think by trying to tell them that an attraction to the same sex is by no uncertain terms wrong, and not to be acted on at any cost, does far more damage than just trying to help deal with the changes that come as they are beginning to realize their sexuality and sexual attractions, and invading their ability to be themselves. A lot of the issues gay children have growing up is because of this casting out that occurs for how they are feeling. We eliminate that, and I make you a bet they will feel a lot better and won't feel so ashamed of themselves. Also, I know you didn't compare homosexuals to pedophiles, it just reminded me of that type of argument that I've seen made before that is equally ridiculous.

CeriseRose Joined Mon 08/02/10 Posts: 6220	Mon 12/05/11 06:43 AM Edited by CeriseRose on Mon 12/05/11 06:52 AM
What a topsy-turvy world !

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 12/05/11 06:52 AM
I have sole custody of my children. My son is the youngest of three, he 15 years old now and grew up with me. He`s basically surrounded by me and my two other adult daughters. He is smart and in a french immersion program and a constant honor student. He`s sporting a typically longer hair, he walks very refine he joins dance troupes and he dances like a young lady. I enrolled him to Karate which he`s doing very well but during breaks he sits like a lady. I drove him twice to an activity and was surprised that he hangs out with young ladies, his age. I talked to him about it, he said he has plans about his life that he wants to have a family and children one day, but what I am seeing on his actions and ways were totally the opposite. I wish I am wrong. I love him to death but God knows I want to see him as any normal grown up man one day. I don`t know what to do. Please help! Men need a male role model, without one, he is behaving as a woman. I suggest you encourage him to be friends with more boys and buy him a copy of "No More Mr Nice Guy". I agree with this. Young children can tend to mock their environment and even as a single mom, I recognize that I cant teach a boy how to grow into a man as well as a man can.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 12/05/11 06:53 AM
What a topsy-turvy world ! kinda scary,,,,

pennyg281 Joined Thu 11/08/07 Posts: 4348	Mon 12/05/11 11:01 AM
teens are exploring and trying to figure out who they are. Just love and support him . . Keep the lines of communication open. When my daughter was 15 she came home and told me she had a girl friend. Shers now 20 and has been with the same guy for 3 years.

eileena9 Joined Fri 04/13/07 Posts: 28211	Mon 12/05/11 05:02 PM
Lesbian couples are far more likely to raise lesbian daughters. Gay men are no more likely to raise gay sons. There was a study I read once where they determined that a lot of Lesbians just really hate men and they teach that to their kids. I know a gay couple who fostered 21 boys over the years and not one of them are gay. They adopted three boys and they are all straight too. I know SOME lesbians hate men, but I don't think there are really that many that hate men. I am a straight woman who raised two children by myself. One is straight and one is transgender.....they are both female by birth, so by the general way of thinking in this quote, how on earth did this happen? (Lesbians more likely to raise lesbians; so shouldn't my daughters have been straight females????.....oh yeah....it's because the way you raise a child doesn't influence their sexual preferences)

Spidercmb Joined Fri 04/27/07 Posts: 13137	Mon 12/05/11 05:07 PM
Lesbian couples are far more likely to raise lesbian daughters. Gay men are no more likely to raise gay sons. There was a study I read once where they determined that a lot of Lesbians just really hate men and they teach that to their kids. I know a gay couple who fostered 21 boys over the years and not one of them are gay. They adopted three boys and they are all straight too. I know SOME lesbians hate men, but I don't think there are really that many that hate men. I am a straight woman who raised two children by myself. One is straight and one is transgender.....they are both female by birth, so by the general way of thinking in this quote, how on earth did this happen? (Lesbians more likely to raise lesbians; so shouldn't my daughters have been straight females????.....oh yeah....it's because the way you raise a child doesn't influence their sexual preferences) Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man. Oh yeah and most psychologists agree that homosexuality is a combination of genetics and environment. So an environment that is hostile to men would be more likely to produce lesbians. Did I say anything about lesbians producing more gay men? No, I didn't. So that is a strawman fallacy.

eileena9 Joined Fri 04/13/07 Posts: 28211	Mon 12/05/11 05:15 PM
Lesbian couples are far more likely to raise lesbian daughters. Gay men are no more likely to raise gay sons. There was a study I read once where they determined that a lot of Lesbians just really hate men and they teach that to their kids. I know a gay couple who fostered 21 boys over the years and not one of them are gay. They adopted three boys and they are all straight too. I know SOME lesbians hate men, but I don't think there are really that many that hate men. I am a straight woman who raised two children by myself. One is straight and one is transgender.....they are both female by birth, so by the general way of thinking in this quote, how on earth did this happen? (Lesbians more likely to raise lesbians; so shouldn't my daughters have been straight females????.....oh yeah....it's because the way you raise a child doesn't influence their sexual preferences) Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man. Oh yeah and most psychologists agree that homosexuality is a combination of genetics and environment. So an environment that is hostile to men would be more likely to produce lesbians. Did I say anything about lesbians producing more gay men? No, I didn't. So that is a strawman fallacy. I purposefully stated "lesbian raising lesbians" like you did, nowhere did I say about lesbians raising gays. My daughters were not raised in a "hostile to men" environment, but my older daughter has always acted more masculine than feminine, even while my ex-husband and I were still together.

Spidercmb Joined Fri 04/27/07 Posts: 13137	Mon 12/05/11 05:20 PM
I purposefully stated "lesbian raising lesbians" like you did, nowhere did I say about lesbians raising gays. My bad, I read "I know a gay couple who fostered 21 boys over the years and not one of them are gay. " and I thought you meant "lesbians". My daughters were not raised in a "hostile to men" environment, but my older daughter has always acted more masculine than feminine, even while my ex-husband and I were still together. Okay? Genetics. Environmental effects of which you are unaware. It doesn't change the fact that lesbians produce lesbian daughters about 30% of the time.

eileena9 Joined Fri 04/13/07 Posts: 28211	Mon 12/05/11 05:25 PM
If the stats said "30%", then that is not "MOST" of the time. 70% > 30%

Spidercmb Joined Fri 04/27/07 Posts: 13137	Mon 12/05/11 05:28 PM
If the stats said "30%", then that is not "MOST" of the time. 70% > 30% You are correct. But I never said "MOST".

eileena9 Joined Fri 04/13/07 Posts: 28211	Mon 12/05/11 05:32 PM
No, you didn't....... You said "far more likely" but if the stats are only 30% that is not far more likely because what about the other 70%? And you can drop the sarcasm.

Spidercmb Joined Fri 04/27/07 Posts: 13137	Mon 12/05/11 05:38 PM
No, you didn't....... You said "far more likely" but if the stats are only 30% that is not far more likely because what about the other 70%? Far more likely when compared to the chances of a straight couple producing lesbian daughters. Sorry, I thought that was implicit in the statement I made. And you can drop the sarcasm. I'll take that into consideration.

eileena9 Joined Fri 04/13/07 Posts: 28211	Mon 12/05/11 05:44 PM
So if 30% of lesbians were raised BY lesbians that leaves 70% of lesbians who were NOT raised by lesbians....does it not? So how is that "far more likely"?

Spidercmb Joined Fri 04/27/07 Posts: 13137	Mon 12/05/11 05:46 PM
So if 30% of lesbians were raised BY lesbians that leaves 70% of lesbians who were NOT raised by lesbians....does it not? So how is that "far more likely"? Straight couples are 10% or less likely to produce lesbian daughters. Lesbian couples are 30% more likely to produce lesbian daughters.

eileena9 Joined Fri 04/13/07 Posts: 28211	Mon 12/05/11 05:49 PM
Where does the other 60% come from then? Who raised them?

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Mon 12/05/11 05:54 PM
Lesbian couples are far more likely to raise lesbian daughters. Gay men are no more likely to raise gay sons. There was a study I read once where they determined that a lot of Lesbians just really hate men and they teach that to their kids. I know a gay couple who fostered 21 boys over the years and not one of them are gay. They adopted three boys and they are all straight too. I know SOME lesbians hate men, but I don't think there are really that many that hate men. I am a straight woman who raised two children by myself. One is straight and one is transgender.....they are both female by birth, so by the general way of thinking in this quote, how on earth did this happen? (Lesbians more likely to raise lesbians; so shouldn't my daughters have been straight females????.....oh yeah....it's because the way you raise a child doesn't influence their sexual preferences) the way you raise a child does INFLUENCE them, but it isnt the only thing affecting them even two children in the same home will be influenced by how they are raised and ALSO by their own UNIQUE influences outside the home,,,

eileena9 Joined Fri 04/13/07 Posts: 28211	Mon 12/05/11 05:58 PM
Lesbian couples are far more likely to raise lesbian daughters. Gay men are no more likely to raise gay sons. There was a study I read once where they determined that a lot of Lesbians just really hate men and they teach that to their kids. I know a gay couple who fostered 21 boys over the years and not one of them are gay. They adopted three boys and they are all straight too. I know SOME lesbians hate men, but I don't think there are really that many that hate men. I am a straight woman who raised two children by myself. One is straight and one is transgender.....they are both female by birth, so by the general way of thinking in this quote, how on earth did this happen? (Lesbians more likely to raise lesbians; so shouldn't my daughters have been straight females????.....oh yeah....it's because the way you raise a child doesn't influence their sexual preferences) the way you raise a child does INFLUENCE them, but it isnt the only thing affecting them even two children in the same home will be influenced by how they are raised and ALSO by their own UNIQUE influences outside the home,,, How would my having been married and after the divorce, dating men, influence my daughter to become sexually attracted to women?