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| Topic: Breaking Up | |
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How do you break up with someone you've been dating for less than 6 months? I was thinking of this because of the "stood up" thread. And, being stood up is basically a way of breaking something off right as it gets started.
I dated a guy once for a couple of months and I realized he was losing interest or changing his mind or something.... So, I texted him and asked him what was wrong. He texted back and said that we would talk when we met the following week. I said I didn't need to talk about it if he was breaking up with me. He seemed genuinely surprised that I didn't want a long, drawn out face to face conversation. (Although I do give him credit for being willing to have a sit down conversation with me about it). I know when I have broken up with guys I've only been seeing briefly and I break up with them, I just do it. No long explanation. Maybe that's not fair, I'm not sure. What do you do and what do you expect from a break up of a short relationship? |
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I ALWAYs let them believe it was their idea.
It just goes easier after, the ego thing you know. And, they are happy with me, in retrospect :-) So, to answer your query, I never have to break up, I let them do it. One way or another hahaha |
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not much to do or say when things aren't working out. sometimes just making yourself "unavailable" each time the person calls is hint enough, other times a face to face to let the person know "i'm just not that into you" is needed
or just use the official mingle2 form 86ED titled "shoot bulldog down in flames" |
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Some people prefer the face to face. Myself, I don't really care. I would rather know sooner than later. It's just easier to accept without a creating a big scene that way. If both sides know it hasn't been working out, there isn't much to say. But if it is sudden or a surprise, then an explanation is nice to have, just to avoid those pesky nagging thoughts.
As far as how I go about it? I don't really have a good list of references for that. Most every break up I've had was a mutual decision. I've only had to go through a bad break up within the past year or so. I put those out of my mind months ago, so I don't even remember details anymore. |
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The only expectation I have is that they actually tell me what's going on. None of the ignoring calls/emails/texts in hopes of me getting whatever hint they're trying to give me.
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I've never had the guts to break up with any guy face-to-face, I always do it via text message or a phone call. I'm a coward I know.
I'm always honest though. It's easier to be honest when you aren't looking the person in the eye. |
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Even if it's done by phone, it's better than ignoring them, hoping they will get the message. People who do that are the real cowards.
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I think as long as there is some kind of closure it's no harm no foul. I do appreciate a chance to talk in case there's been a misunderstanding of some kind, to part as friends hopefully, but I prefer it not be too long & drawn out also.
To break off something without communication is hurtful, and a guy should not expect to necessarily be forgiven if he pulls the disappearing act or in any other way shuts down communication |
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Even if it's done by phone, it's better than ignoring them, hoping they will get the message. People who do that are the real cowards. In most cases I would agree |
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Even if it's done by phone, it's better than ignoring them, hoping they will get the message. People who do that are the real cowards. The worst are the people who just change their relationship statuses on facebook... That's just unforgivable. |
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Hummm last one I broke up with we had dated for less then two months. He called me and wanted to know when he was going to see me next. I explained to him that it was just not there for me and felt it was best that we end it at that time.
Was that wrong not sure but do not see a reason to drang it out or lead someone on. If it is over it is over.....  Come to think of it that is the way I broke up with the last two or three guys I dated..If it ain't there it ain't there why waste their time or mine... |
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Hummm last one I broke up with we had dated for less then two months. He called me and wanted to know when he was going to see me next. I explained to him that it was just not there for me and felt it was best that we end it at that time. Was that wrong not sure but do not see a reason to drang it out or lead someone on. If it is over it is over..... wait a minute. you told me that you saw a vagina on the internet and turned lesbian 
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Hummm last one I broke up with we had dated for less then two months. He called me and wanted to know when he was going to see me next. I explained to him that it was just not there for me and felt it was best that we end it at that time. Was that wrong not sure but do not see a reason to drang it out or lead someone on. If it is over it is over..... wait a minute. you told me that you saw a vagina on the internet and turned lesbian Sweetheart there may be a lot of things I have said in the past but that is surely not one of them.... I love men too damn much to ever go there........NOT MY THING.... I just told you that ~~~~~~~~~ 
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I just try to keep friendships. It is so much easier than dating. Don't have to worry about breaking up with someone because you never started with them. Don't have to worry about being brave or coward that way, either come to think of it.
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How do you break up with someone you've been dating for less than 6 months? I was thinking of this because of the "stood up" thread. And, being stood up is basically a way of breaking something off right as it gets started. I dated a guy once for a couple of months and I realized he was losing interest or changing his mind or something.... So, I texted him and asked him what was wrong. He texted back and said that we would talk when we met the following week. I said I didn't need to talk about it if he was breaking up with me. He seemed genuinely surprised that I didn't want a long, drawn out face to face conversation. (Although I do give him credit for being willing to have a sit down conversation with me about it). I know when I have broken up with guys I've only been seeing briefly and I break up with them, I just do it. No long explanation. Maybe that's not fair, I'm not sure. What do you do and what do you expect from a break up of a short relationship? You have to give the guy closure or he'll end up like Keanu after you guys broke up. 
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I just try to keep friendships. It is so much easier than dating. Don't have to worry about breaking up with someone because you never started with them. Don't have to worry about being brave or coward that way, either come to think of it. You've never had a fight with a friend or had one get mad at you? Or had one give you the silent treatment because they didn't want to talk about what they were mad about? Different issues, but you still have to deal with it sometimes. |
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I just try to keep friendships. It is so much easier than dating. Don't have to worry about breaking up with someone because you never started with them. Don't have to worry about being brave or coward that way, either come to think of it. You've never had a fight with a friend or had one get mad at you? Or had one give you the silent treatment because they didn't want to talk about what they were mad about? Different issues, but you still have to deal with it sometimes. Usually fighting with a friend is less complicated than fighting with a lover. |
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I just try to keep friendships. It is so much easier than dating. Don't have to worry about breaking up with someone because you never started with them. Don't have to worry about being brave or coward that way, either come to think of it. You've never had a fight with a friend or had one get mad at you? Or had one give you the silent treatment because they didn't want to talk about what they were mad about? Different issues, but you still have to deal with it sometimes. Usually fighting with a friend is less complicated than fighting with a lover. Depends on the circumstances, I would think. I know people who broke up over silly fights. With friends, that doesn't normally happen. Some people tend to work harder to keep friendships. |
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You have to give the guy closure or he'll end up like Keanu after you guys broke up. I would like to be Keannu. Splain to me please the problem again? He's sad... |
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I try not to expect anything, when i get into a relationship, so if i end one, i expect nothing then either. I just tell them politely, that i don't feel comfortable for whatever the reason is at that time.
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