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| Topic: how seriously............ | |
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I just don't believe that people really CAN'T find dates. I thinks its feasible that one can't find dates. Contrary to what anyone thinks; its hard to attract the opposite sex. If you aren't pretty, young, or thin here in Calgary; you think a guy is going to give you the time of day? These boys here are rich in oil and they want some arm candy; not an old average lady so I am not foolish enough to think I can compete with a younger woman. People are particualar in what they want and if you don't meet all their requirements; you don't get dates. So, its believable that not all of us are dateable so to speak. You seem dateable to me, There in Calgary! Well, that is a kind thing to say but it is what it is. Hell, there are worse things in life than not dating. 
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the online thing is prolly the worst place to find someone I dont know how. Ive had good luck online. Hmmm. Actually, its been better than the ones I meet in real life. |
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Going through that stuff is not fun at all. My ex-fiance was emotionally abusive almost always. I think I remember him actually say if I leave him he'll make my life a living hell. Which explains why I'm a emotional wreck. I'm glad you got some help, in a lot these situations, most women don't seek any type of asistance readily available to them, in worst cases until its too late. I guess I was afraid too. I try not to be afraid of everybody. Sorry that you had to go through that. At least you're away from that good-for-nothing now. How long did it happen for? It went on for about 2 months after we got engaged. He started changing. Drinking more. Went off on angry tangents. Came home late claiming it was other things and I should never bring it up again. When I did he'd argue with me heatedly. Funny, I thought bringing it up may offer some help to understand him better. Maybe work through the problems. Turns out he was a constant heartbreak. As most closed off men can be. He got the upper hand on me because he knew I could easily be controlled because I fell in love with the "good" side of him. I guess it was all a ruse in the end. Nice girls get roped too, it isn't just nice guys getting the bad end of the stick. In my opinion, it was too long I stayed in it. Way too long. And I set myself up with this stuff, dealing with it hasn't been easy. Schitt like this never is. |
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Going through that stuff is not fun at all. My ex-fiance was emotionally abusive almost always. I think I remember him actually say if I leave him he'll make my life a living hell. Which explains why I'm a emotional wreck. I'm glad you got some help, in a lot these situations, most women don't seek any type of asistance readily available to them, in worst cases until its too late. I guess I was afraid too. I try not to be afraid of everybody. Sorry that you had to go through that. At least you're away from that good-for-nothing now. How long did it happen for? It went on for about 2 months after we got engaged. He started changing. Drinking more. Went off on angry tangents. Came home late claiming it was other things and I should never bring it up again. When I did he'd argue with me heatedly. Funny, I thought bringing it up may offer some help to understand him better. Maybe work through the problems. Turns out he was a constant heartbreak. As most closed off men can be. He got the upper hand on me because he knew I could easily be controlled because I fell in love with the "good" side of him. I guess it was all a ruse in the end. Nice girls get roped too, it isn't just nice guys getting the bad end of the stick. In my opinion, it was too long I stayed in it. Way too long. And I set myself up with this stuff, dealing with it hasn't been easy. Schitt like this never is. Wasn't ignoring you, my battery ran out is all :) At least you know you deserve better. Any abuser deserves to be imprisoned, imho. At least you didn't let it go on much longer. |
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Going through that stuff is not fun at all. My ex-fiance was emotionally abusive almost always. I think I remember him actually say if I leave him he'll make my life a living hell. Which explains why I'm a emotional wreck. I'm glad you got some help, in a lot these situations, most women don't seek any type of asistance readily available to them, in worst cases until its too late. I guess I was afraid too. I try not to be afraid of everybody. Sorry that you had to go through that. At least you're away from that good-for-nothing now. How long did it happen for? It went on for about 2 months after we got engaged. He started changing. Drinking more. Went off on angry tangents. Came home late claiming it was other things and I should never bring it up again. When I did he'd argue with me heatedly. Funny, I thought bringing it up may offer some help to understand him better. Maybe work through the problems. Turns out he was a constant heartbreak. As most closed off men can be. He got the upper hand on me because he knew I could easily be controlled because I fell in love with the "good" side of him. I guess it was all a ruse in the end. Nice girls get roped too, it isn't just nice guys getting the bad end of the stick. In my opinion, it was too long I stayed in it. Way too long. And I set myself up with this stuff, dealing with it hasn't been easy. Schitt like this never is. Wasn't ignoring you, my battery ran out is all :) At least you know you deserve better. Any abuser deserves to be imprisoned, imho. At least you didn't let it go on much longer. Its alright. I know what it feels like to be ignored too. LOL Everybody deserves better. I feel like that's the fundation that builds character and makes you a much better person. It sucks when certain people bring out certain sides in you that you never thought existed. I think nearly a year was enough I could stomach... |
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I can relate to the fact you had to see him drunk a lot, too. I just hardly mention it, for fear people would think i was seeking sympathy. I only ever really talk about it, if it's mentioned, or i'm reminded of it in some way. If you get what i mean.
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I just don't believe that people really CAN'T find dates. I will be glad to take the role of Exhibit A here. |
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the online thing is prolly the worst place to find someone Why do you think that? |
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Going through that stuff is not fun at all. My ex-fiance was emotionally abusive almost always. I think I remember him actually say if I leave him he'll make my life a living hell. Which explains why I'm a emotional wreck. I'm glad you got some help, in a lot these situations, most women don't seek any type of asistance readily available to them, in worst cases until its too late. I guess I was afraid too. I try not to be afraid of everybody. Sorry that you had to go through that. At least you're away from that good-for-nothing now. How long did it happen for? It went on for about 2 months after we got engaged. He started changing. Drinking more. Went off on angry tangents. Came home late claiming it was other things and I should never bring it up again. When I did he'd argue with me heatedly. Funny, I thought bringing it up may offer some help to understand him better. Maybe work through the problems. Turns out he was a constant heartbreak. As most closed off men can be. He got the upper hand on me because he knew I could easily be controlled because I fell in love with the "good" side of him. I guess it was all a ruse in the end. Nice girls get roped too, it isn't just nice guys getting the bad end of the stick. In my opinion, it was too long I stayed in it. Way too long. And I set myself up with this stuff, dealing with it hasn't been easy. Schitt like this never is. Wasn't ignoring you, my battery ran out is all :) At least you know you deserve better. Any abuser deserves to be imprisoned, imho. At least you didn't let it go on much longer. The important part about all abuse is to remember it has NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with THEM. Abusive people get off on that ****. A lot of people like to feel important by hurting others because they have no self worth. Like recently I broke up with someone and they were so shocked I took it well. DUH, if you have paid any attention to my posts, you at least know I have quite the problem of having TOO much self esteem if anything. I have so many guys in my life who pick me up and build me up that is not a problem. I know I am no super model but I know I have a lot of people who consider me attractive, have all kinds of monetary assets, an education, a whole life full of activities and friends and hobbies, etc. Some guy is not that important to me. And as one of my friends says I am quote "just NOT a take it hard kind of girl". So if you do like I do and surround yourself with people who build you up and you have your own life, you really can't be torn down by much. And abusers are just weak. They are the same people who cheat at games with little kids to feel important. They are nothing in life. I mean some of you know I had an abusive ex and I also dated a martial artist so I threw my abuser across the room and put him back on a bus and told him to "go back to hell where he came from". Problem solved. I was the one holding all the chips. Ya, he screamed all that abuser crap at me how I couldn't make it without out him. funny. I am sitting in my own condo, with three computers on fiber optic, with all the amenities, etc. etc. and I hear he has no job and is bouncing around... |
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I just don't believe that people really CAN'T find dates. I thinks its feasible that one can't find dates. Contrary to what anyone thinks; its hard to attract the opposite sex. If you aren't pretty, young, or thin here in Calgary; you think a guy is going to give you the time of day? These boys here are rich in oil and they want some arm candy; not an old average lady so I am not foolish enough to think I can compete with a younger woman. People are particualar in what they want and if you don't meet all their requirements; you don't get dates. So, its believable that not all of us are dateable so to speak. I think it just depends on the guy and his preferences. I'm certainly not a skinny woman, but there are definitely guys who have been interested in dating. |
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Edited by
MariahsFantasy
on
Thu 01/12/12 10:31 AM
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I can relate to the fact you had to see him drunk a lot, too. I just hardly mention it, for fear people would think i was seeking sympathy. I only ever really talk about it, if it's mentioned, or i'm reminded of it in some way. If you get what i mean. Yeah totally. I guess cause I've come to terms with it. Confidence rising a few knotches when I left that situation. I did feel empowered after leaving. It did something to my head. People who drink excessively bring it on themselves and almost always take their insecurities out on others. It truly brings out the monster full-fledged. |
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It sucks when certain people bring out certain sides in you that you never thought existed. I think nearly a year was enough I could stomach... I agree whole-heartedly. These types should live the rest of their lives witha brick up their ***. Now surely THAT would have em begging forgiveness. lol |
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Edited by
MariahsFantasy
on
Thu 01/12/12 10:43 AM
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Haha, I like that approach, now if ALL my exes preached this I could sleep better at night knowing they were just as tortmented as I was. Sometimes those thoughts are present but I don't think I'd want them to happen, despite being so hurt and in the thick of it, I really don't wish they'd live like that. I just want them to get help, seek it. Maybe deal with their issues...Try at least...I feel like those who abuse pass it on and continue the cycle. He had a highly controlling mother and she never liked me. LOL So there ya go...ahh, got some closure in some way.
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It sucks when certain people bring out certain sides in you that you never thought existed. I think nearly a year was enough I could stomach... I agree whole-heartedly. These types should live the rest of their lives witha brick up their ***. Now surely THAT would have em begging forgiveness. lol You know what? Don't even think about these people. Seriously. They are not worth the brain cells. Like my friend wants to kick my abuser's *** and as I say, "my love of you FAR exceeds my hatred of him". And it's true. Abusers are like cigarette butts on the beach, scammers on the internet, stars in the sky, there's billions. There will always be another. They are not worth the breath it that's to cuss about them. Truly. Your time is worth way more. |
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Ya, he screamed all that abuser crap at me how I couldn't make it without out him. funny. I am sitting in my own condo, with three computers on fiber optic, with all the amenities, etc. etc. and I hear he has no job and is bouncing around... Funny how they always use the "You'll never make it without me" line. They call their victim a liar, a fantasist, yet you know what the real truth is. |
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Haha, I like that approach, now if ALL my exes preached this I could sleep better at night knowing they were just as tortmented as I was. Sometimes those thoughts are present but I don't think I'd want them to happen, despite being so hurt and in the thick of it, I really don't wish they'd live like that. I just want them to get help, seek it. Maybe deal with their issues...Try at least...I feel like those who abuse pass it on and continue the cycle. He had a highly controlling mother and she never liked me. LOL So there ya go...ahh, got some closure in some way. Heh :) I know. I'm not the revenge type. I just write all my thoughts onto paper instead, or on the net. My phone battery is going down, so i'll see ya later. I enjoyed chatting with ya. Later, girl :) You too, teadipper :) |
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The important part about all abuse is to remember it has NOTHING to do with you and everything to do with THEM. Abusive people get off on that ****. A lot of people like to feel important by hurting others because they have no self worth. Like recently I broke up with someone and they were so shocked I took it well. DUH, if you have paid any attention to my posts, you at least know I have quite the problem of having TOO much self esteem if anything. I have so many guys in my life who pick me up and build me up that is not a problem. I know I am no super model but I know I have a lot of people who consider me attractive, have all kinds of monetary assets, an education, a whole life full of activities and friends and hobbies, etc. Some guy is not that important to me. And as one of my friends says I am quote "just NOT a take it hard kind of girl". So if you do like I do and surround yourself with people who build you up and you have your own life, you really can't be torn down by much. And abusers are just weak. They are the same people who cheat at games with little kids to feel important. They are nothing in life. I mean some of you know I had an abusive ex and I also dated a martial artist so I threw my abuser across the room and put him back on a bus and told him to "go back to hell where he came from". Problem solved. I was the one holding all the chips. Ya, he screamed all that abuser crap at me how I couldn't make it without out him. funny. I am sitting in my own condo, with three computers on fiber optic, with all the amenities, etc. etc. and I hear he has no job and is bouncing around... Teri, I agree with this whole thing. It IS them. I could understand being at fault for certain weird things. I know I have a lot of maturing to do when comes to guys in general. And this I am working on. Don't intend on being the female Howard Hughes forever. Having great self-esteem gets you going in the right direction always. I totally relate to the supermodel thing. I could never understand the fascination with guys and those people. I also can't imagine what its like going out with someone so high maintenance and never having anything to talk about. And don't want to. This is what I don't respect about those people. Thats my personal feelings on it. Coming from someone in high school who tried to fit in any way I could. Its a thing of beauty when you hear stories like this. Women taking back what's theirs. Its cool. I liked the ending to this. When your mind is cleared from all the bullschitt clutter, YOUR actions become more the forefront. Good people flock around you when this happens. |
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Haha, I like that approach, now if ALL my exes preached this I could sleep better at night knowing they were just as tortmented as I was. Sometimes those thoughts are present but I don't think I'd want them to happen, despite being so hurt and in the thick of it, I really don't wish they'd live like that. I just want them to get help, seek it. Maybe deal with their issues...Try at least...I feel like those who abuse pass it on and continue the cycle. He had a highly controlling mother and she never liked me. LOL So there ya go...ahh, got some closure in some way. Heh :) I know. I'm not the revenge type. I just write all my thoughts onto paper instead, or on the net. My phone battery is going down, so i'll see ya later. I enjoyed chatting with ya. Later, girl :) You too, teadipper :) Ha, cool. I do as well. I try to write as much as I can with what I got. I used to take a pen and paper everywhere with me and be all Chris Martin about it. I know that feeling too. Until my computer gets fixed I'm gonna have to put up with the painful micro-crazy scanning that is my phone. Iz a bish but what can I do? LOL Catch ya later! |
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Edited by
Godiva
on
Thu 01/12/12 11:05 AM
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In my opinion, it was too long I stayed in it. Way too long. And I set myself up with this stuff, dealing with it hasn't been easy. Schitt like this never is. I am just proud of you that you got yourself out of it. Hundreds of thousands do not have that same strength, and live in silence of it everyday. Truly an abomination. It sucks when certain people bring out certain sides in you that you never thought existed. I think nearly a year was enough I could stomach... But abusers have a way with this. They draw out the horrible parts of you whether you like it or not. They are so full of loathing and hatred, and just as being around happy people can often cheer up people who are down, so to being around hate and cruelty bring out such emotions in others. I agree whole-heartedly. These types should live the rest of their lives witha brick up their ***. Now surely THAT would have em begging forgiveness. lol This 
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do you take dating on Mingle? I mean I play on here all the time. I go off on what I call "love tangents" which result in bad poetry and such but I have only had one person I was really serious about and you guys know who that was. The first one. The musician/engineer/politician who bailed after we broke up. Otherwise, I have just played. Also, do you date off site? In real life, the majority of my dates are off site. I say I date mostly inside my own religion "nerd". Where do you find your dates? I have met five women on here. I have had a relationship with two of them. I enjoy this site and am looking forward to meeting new people in the future. The forums are a good way to express my opinion. |
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