Topic: Cursive Freedom
no photo
Sat 01/21/12 11:52 PM
I could have been a rat, rat a tat tat.
I could have been some
impressive wine garden,
the syrup of your smile.
Denial leaks like mountains
from the camera lens.
At night wild dogs or hyenas
make mad dashes through the backyard.

Dallas Cowboys won again.
Guess you were right, my Texan friend.
Where's my smile line trace the fold.
Where's my fault line start to bend?

Bending down, crooked and
with angst. Plunging
down into some dismay.
Whatever is your doubt
I'll set it out.
I'll separate the stains.

Petty grin with a box of gin,
And I can't let him in.
Used to be that you always found me
with a weight to break my spin.
But I'm going out just like I settled,
with a black bandana and two tons of metal.
Screaming at cars in the canyon I pass;
Freedom's a fifth and a full tank of gas.

no photo
Sun 01/22/12 07:24 AM
plastic_pancakes....i like it alot..read it a few times...teasingbrunette

no photo
Sun 01/22/12 08:45 AM
:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

no photo
Sun 01/22/12 09:51 AM
I enjoyed this.
It reminded me a little bit of Elliott Smith.
Especially these lines..

Petty grin with a box of gin,
And I can't let him in.

kc0003's photo
Sun 01/22/12 01:03 PM
"Freedom's a fifth and a full tank of gas."

great line...P.P. drinker

no photo
Sun 01/22/12 05:28 PM
"..Like.."

no photo
Mon 01/23/12 12:20 PM
"the syrup of your smile.
Denial leaks like mountains
from the camera lens."


Like what the others already pointed out, plus these lines too. You always seem to write beyond your years....

Bravalady's photo
Wed 01/25/12 08:23 PM
Ah, talent, how nice to see. Keep it up, my friend.

no photo
Fri 01/27/12 07:47 AM
Loved it,as always ((((((pp))))))smooched :heart: flowers

brwnkimba's photo
Mon 01/30/12 03:38 AM
YUP-YUPsmokin

no photo
Mon 01/30/12 04:46 AM

I could have been a rat, rat a tat tat.
I could have been some
impressive wine garden,
the syrup of your smile.
Denial leaks like mountains
from the camera lens.
At night wild dogs or hyenas
make mad dashes through the backyard.

Dallas Cowboys won again.
Guess you were right, my Texan friend.
Where's my smile line trace the fold.
Where's my fault line start to bend?

Bending down, crooked and
with angst. Plunging
down into some dismay.
Whatever is your doubt
I'll set it out.
I'll separate the stains.

Petty grin with a box of gin,
And I can't let him in.
Used to be that you always found me
with a weight to break my spin.
But I'm going out just like I settled,
with a black bandana and two tons of metal.
Screaming at cars in the canyon I pass;
Freedom's a fifth and a full tank of gas.


Once again, an excellent write!!....Carpe diem!!drinker

flowerforyou