Topic: age diffrnces
no photo
Wed 05/30/12 11:27 AM

I spent the day yesterday with a coworker who is 35. He had no idea who Dinah Shore, Shirley Temple or Ginger Rogers were. I, in return, had no idea who some of the people he talked about were. This for me is a good reason to stick to guys in my own age group


I'm younger than that and I know who Shirley Temple and Ginger Rogers are. I have heard the name Dinah Shore.

delilady's photo
Wed 05/30/12 12:30 PM


I spent the day yesterday with a coworker who is 35. He had no idea who Dinah Shore, Shirley Temple or Ginger Rogers were. I, in return, had no idea who some of the people he talked about were. This for me is a good reason to stick to guys in my own age group


I'm younger than that and I know who Shirley Temple and Ginger Rogers are. I have heard the name Dinah Shore.
laugh I am sure that you being female does play a role in that. I am sure he was not interested in Shirley Temple movies or in Fred Astaire/Ginger Roger movies either.

no photo
Wed 05/30/12 12:44 PM

I spent the day yesterday with a coworker who is 35. He had no idea who Dinah Shore, Shirley Temple or Ginger Rogers were. I, in return, had no idea who some of the people he talked about were. This for me is a good reason to stick to guys in my own age group


I totally loved them in Charlies angels love

no photo
Wed 05/30/12 12:49 PM

I spent the day yesterday with a coworker who is 35. He had no idea who Dinah Shore, Shirley Temple or Ginger Rogers were. I, in return, had no idea who some of the people he talked about were. This for me is a good reason to stick to guys in my own age group


That's not always an age thing. I know people half my age who like Temple and Rogers movies.

I remember watching one of Dinah's shows back in the 70's.

no photo
Wed 05/30/12 03:14 PM



I spent the day yesterday with a coworker who is 35. He had no idea who Dinah Shore, Shirley Temple or Ginger Rogers were. I, in return, had no idea who some of the people he talked about were. This for me is a good reason to stick to guys in my own age group


I'm younger than that and I know who Shirley Temple and Ginger Rogers are. I have heard the name Dinah Shore.
laugh I am sure that you being female does play a role in that. I am sure he was not interested in Shirley Temple movies or in Fred Astaire/Ginger Roger movies either.


Sure, but it's not an age thing, it's a movie preference thing.

no photo
Thu 05/31/12 01:10 PM
I may be young.. but I have sadly (past tense) had experience of this. I would like to still be able to say that age gaps don't matter.. its how you feel... no. 14 years was too much. God, I loved him. But we were at different stages in life.

I wanted to do the things he had already done, i dont think he wanted to do them again. I always felt like he was avuncular, he probably alwasy felt like i was a child. The relatiosnhip didnt feel equal, and there were no shared moments of 'do you remember that from your youth' He was all space hoppers, and I was all transformers. We couldnt learn about life together as a shared experience, we could only experience the same thing from two very different perspectives.

Those firsts build a connection when they are firsts for you both and you grow together. And... ouch. It was the most painful thing to know you love someone... nothing to do with age, but because of the essence of that person yet there was so much missing. And i have an old head, apparently, and he acts like a child.

No details, theyre private. But this is what I have learned. very. sad. smiley.

mustchr's photo
Thu 05/31/12 01:44 PM
If preserving a spirit of sharing is considered, how much do old movies & movie stars; when Mustangs 1st came out; when Kennedy was shot, etc have to do with having a good time?
I you are a mathematician & your date can't figure out a 15% tip, how will it affect time spent together.
LOOK AT THE BIG PICTURE.

no photo
Thu 06/14/12 06:34 PM
Edited by lovesinmyarms on Thu 06/14/12 07:12 PM
Are you sure he was avuncular? Did he not make massive changes to how he lived and how he parented his child on your advice? Did he not ask for your advice on almost every decision he made while you were with him?

As a man 14 years older than yourself, with a child and responsibility's over and above those of his own needs. Do you not think that even asking for your advice was a sign of how much he respected your opinion?

"I wanted to do the things he had already done, i dont think he wanted to do them again"

Some things are not "done" so fast, some things take years. Do you think to do with you, some of the things he had "done" already, that his past would need to be given consideration in a shared future? What of children? They would need accommodating in a shared future, do you think you could be selfless enough to share him? Or would you always be thinking "I will never come first"?

Mustchr seems to have nailed it above. How much does the Poddington peas really matter when one of you has two years of commitment to the other? When experiences shared over the time you spend together mean much more than similarities in upbringing 20 years ago?
In one day, could you name all the days out, the evenings in, the special moments shared. The bricks made for a shared foundation? Even the times he supported you, came to your rescue, or got as close to being able to as he could, or life would allow.
Or would you find yourself thinking of them for weeks afterwards? We forget so much, so quickly.
How can a shared era that you grew up in, apart and unknowing of each other, touch what you and a partner build yourself?

If your not capable of accepting someone as they are, not feeling the need to "help" them, but accepting them for who they are and what brought them to be that person. Then probably you would find a much smaller age gap will increase the time before you realise they are not what you want. After all, you have a "shared" collective experience to provide a wealth of conversation and feeling of belonging, before having to face the fact that they are not what you want. However, it takes 2 years without those "shared moments of 'do you remember that from your youth'" so you may waste a lot of time finding out....

Does he really act like a child? How would he act if you put him in a position where hes forced to choose between the wants over and above the needs of an adult he is in a relationship with and the needs and obligations he must fulfil for his child, how can he satisfy both? Do you think that would tear him apart? Feeling torn between his child and his lover? Is that a position any parent should be put into?

If not jealousy over a child, then what? No woman should ever say to a man with children from a previous relationship, "I will never come first". Do you think by letting you share, shape and take part in his family's and childs lives, he was not giving you the most precious gift he had to give?

"God, I loved him" Are you sure? You have treated him as less than worthless, love? Are you sure? People live on after you have finished with them. Decent people will respect the time mutually shared and if something needs to end, they will care that the other person is ok, ending a 2 year relationship via text message, then closing all doors of communication is not appropriate to love. So did you really love him?

Resenting someone because they couldn't be who you wanted them to be is unreasonable. The biggest things he had in his life were apparent and given gravity from the moment you spoke to him. Did you think they would disappear because you didn't want them in your life?

This internet dating thing gives people a chance to choose someone from a completely different background, you can do with that what you will. But to take someone, to turn there world upside down and change them, twist and shape there lives to suit what you need in a relationship and then when you realise that you cannot forge what you want, throw the person away and not care about the wreckage you leave behind is wrong. This is not an online auction site, the people on here are not items, the lives they lead are not worthless. To involve yourself in some ones life because your lonely, because you cannot face dealing with your own issues is selfish and heartless.

Did he mess up his search criteria? Had he even needed search criteria to get involved with you? You chose... You changed, you controlled and you set the goals, the methods those goals would be achieved and the people who would be affected.

To get rid of your poor choice with no explanation after 2 years, not even feel the need to actually face up to what you have done and tell them face to face, but a week later pick another man from a dating site to start all over again, really does show how little you care for people. Only if someone is of current value to you, do you care. Is that is actually only caring for yourself?........

I view commitment in a relationship as being physically and emotionally faithful, with the willingness to solve the problems that relationship faces and will face in the future.

A promise is different, a promise is said in words. A commitment is shown in actions.

Having commitment to a relationship is much more important than age.




teadipper's photo
Thu 06/14/12 06:54 PM
Edited by teadipper on Thu 06/14/12 06:55 PM
You all know my age game. If I can play "You might be my fetus if......." I won't go out with you.

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 06/14/12 07:02 PM
I have grown children and I really don't need more nor do I want to quickly go through the whole caregiver role soon if possible to avoid that so I prefer someone near my own age. That we have some mutual history in common makes conversation easier and the tempo I like in my life more likely if someone is not radically older or younger.

galendgirl's photo
Sat 06/16/12 05:21 PM
I think about this with some regularity because I have friends in all age brackets (my kids ages and beyond mine.)

Romantically, I'd like to think I'm progressive enough to say it doesn't matter. The ex-hubby was 10 years older...why should it matter if the woman is the older partner in a relationship? But the reality is that it's hard for me to think about dating someone who's in their young 40s. I probably would, should the opportunity arise, but a little closer to my age or slightly older would feel less odd.

Jesally's photo
Sat 06/16/12 11:08 PM

For me it does I refuse to date anyone that is my kids age or younger....matter of fact they need to be at least 10 years older then my kids.....At 53, 40 is the youngest I will go...just the way it is...

So yes age does matter to me...........bigsmile



Good point! I also refuse to date someone my parents age(50 +) Atleast not someone who's 8 years older than me or even 8 years younger than me.

Age defnitely matters to some extent.

Jtevans's photo
Sat 06/16/12 11:13 PM
as long as they're still breathing,it's all good happy

Citizen_Joe's photo
Sat 06/16/12 11:31 PM
My last relationship age difference was 17 years. I have a daughter.

:heart: :banana: :heart:

msharmony's photo
Sat 06/16/12 11:34 PM
the family unit is important to me

any partner I have would have to take the role of the 'man' of the house , so its important to me they be of an age that gives them a bit of a developmental edge over my eldest who is 19

noone in their twenties would suit that preference for me

age thirty and above only, and because I married older before, I now also have a prefernce for someone still not 'legally' considered a senior citizen yet,,,

Gall1frey's photo
Sun 06/17/12 01:51 PM
Age doesn't matter my last wife was 9 years younger than myself we had 3 wonderful girls together and it wasn't the age that split us it was our lives going different paths

Annette203's photo
Sun 06/17/12 06:58 PM
I am going to say .. Yes age matters, I can not although it may be very attempting date anyone who is my oldest child age which happens to be 23. I am 42 so my cut off is 30 ... ugh Darn it .. I hate when my morals get in my way of having a good time ... lol

ErinxCx's photo
Sun 06/17/12 07:07 PM
Edited by ErinxCx on Sun 06/17/12 07:08 PM
My most recent ex was 7 years older than me.
Which wasn't that bad.

vivian2981's photo
Sun 06/17/12 07:11 PM
Edited by vivian2981 on Sun 06/17/12 07:11 PM

I prefer the woman to be between the age of 45-60.

My oldest Granddaughter will be 26 this July.


tears tears tears tears I thought you loved me!!!!

tongue2 tongue2 to you too!laugh laugh laugh

Yes, age matters...I'm with Kristi on this...no one younger or the same age as my kids...really I probably wouldn't see any one much younger that 5 yrs of myself.

willing2's photo
Sun 06/17/12 07:30 PM
Not that I would stay with them any length of time or marry up with them but, I go by the deal of;
18 to 80.
Blind, crippled or crazy and if they can't walk, drag 'em.

Naw, I ain't got no problem with age.:wink: laugh smokin