Topic: What is a gentleman?
MariahsFantasy's photo
Wed 06/20/12 02:00 PM

A gentleman is a dude that can hang out all day at the nudist camp without getting a woody?


drool Its the little things he does that shows he cares. love

Joelcool7's photo
Wed 06/20/12 03:01 PM


Gentleman really differs from girl to girl and what they define as a gentleman to them.

I call myself a gentleman because I'm old school. I open doors, walk on the side facing the street, pull out chairs, have manners and treat people with respect and dignity. I'm also abstinent till marriage and value emotional and spiritual intimacy to sexual.

Now to answer the question am I a non-sexual android? Heck no!!!! I just have self control theirs a major difference. Look at the fat guy who loves cheese burgers, then you see a skinny guy, does that immediately indicate he doesn't like cheese burgers? Know it just means he's not a fat *** and has some self control.

Sex is like other things, some people have no control of their bodies while others do. That doesn't mean the guys that do or girls are any less sexual.

Trust me, people who abstain are still extremely sexual, we just have some respect for the woman we are interested in.

Were also smart, we know that sex clouds judgement. Wed rather not go through a dozen break ups and end up with an STD before finding our true love. Instead we wait find our true love and go nuts!

Trust me in church their are a lot of really really sexual people. They just respected each other till marriage and their relationships last because of it!


So you believe that those who have sex don't have self control? And that those who abstain from sex have more respect for the women you're interested in? And because you have that self control and respect, it makes you a gentleman?


You took one single aspect and took it way out of context.
I did not say a gentleman abstains I said I do I specifically said Christian gentleman and not a normal gentleman. Difference a Christian gentleman is going to follow his spiritual beliefs as well as be a gentleman.

When I said a non-Christian gentleman I said he's not just going to bang a girl. He wants to respect her to make sure the timings right and that it means something. That is is special and intimate!

Do I believe those who are promiscuous lack self control? Of course I do if they didn't they wouldn't be banging everyone in sight.

Anyone who has had 12+ partners or such obviously lacks control that's not something that can be debated. A person who requires sex constantly doesn't have the self control to stop!

I'm sorry that's simply the definition of self control and yes I have self control. Do I disrespect people who don't? No more then the fat guy who keeps eating McDonald's and Burger King!

Its unhealthy its been proven both medically and psychologically damaging.

I have seen what it does to girls I know. As well as guys I know its destructive.

Even on this site we see pages upon pages about how destructive it is.

Girls getting screwed and dumped days later. Crying their ***** off but they go straight to the next guy who does the exact same thing. Why? If they realize that they get dumped all the time when the guy has sex with her, why does she keep going for the same sex crazed scum bag?

Same goes for a couple buddies of mine. They have no self control their blind. This one guy sleeps with often two to three women a month. Sometimes a couple a week, he's a player. But you know what he's hurting and always asks me why he cant find a women who loves him why he cant fall in love?

Well I personally know girls he destroyed who loved him, but he didn't have control over his dick!

So yes someone who is having sex constantly doesn't have the self control. It isn't healthy because they'll end up with STD's they'll end up with abortions or unwanted children. They'll end up 40 and single or married to some low life.

Sex isn't bad and in a loving and strong relationship it is vital.

But if your having sex 24/7 and your doing it with tons of people. You lack self control!

If your a girl who's constantly getting abused dumped and left on your own when you give it up. Stop going for someone who's going to give it up! Its as simple as that, show some restraint some.self control and find a guy worth giving it too!

Also yes a gentleman does give his girl sex, but not if it compromises her or your relationship with her.

If your going to have sex on your first date, your not a gentleman plain and simple. Third date and your still not really. You wait till the timing is right and you are respectful and are caring!

Joelcool7's photo
Wed 06/20/12 03:18 PM
You needed to include my second statement!
But yes a man who isn't just looking to screw a girl does respect her, a guy who's looking to have sex and isn't wanting a real relationship is being disrespectful!

Also if you try arguing that a person having sex constantly with multiple partners is not lacking self control. Check up the definition of sex addiction an disease that is recognized by the psychologist community.

The Government and aid groups have groups for sex addicts all over and it is very much an addiction and those who suffer from it don't have control over it!

If a guy is going to go out and pay money to have sex because he's not getting enough of it or he needs variety. You cant say he has control! Nobody in their right minds is going to spend 1,000$ an hour if they actually have control!

I've seen marriages last 70 years, in fact most of the marriages of gentleman and girls who are strong in their beliefs respectful and loving. They last on average 30-40 years. I don't know any girls who went with gentleman who have divorced in my life. Well of course some gentleman went for women who weren't exactly wanting a relationship!

Fact is if you cant control yourself and abstain for a year maybe two till you get married. His are you going to stay with one partner in the long run? How can anyone expect it?

Why do you think marriages are failing at such high levels? People don't have control anymore. Medical and polls have indicated in 70's I believe the average amount of partners was like three. Today three is considered a saint!

That is nothing other then a lack of self control! People had strong marriages that lasted 20+ years but today it just doesn't happen.


razorAD's photo
Wed 06/20/12 03:21 PM
A nicely brought up child will just say a gentleman is dad..A cared for mother will say its her children's father..
A Father satisfied with his son's obedience towards him will say gentleman is his son...
A girl who has a brother always with her to take care of her even when she doesnt listen to him is a gentleman...hmmmmmmmmmm

krupa's photo
Wed 06/20/12 03:29 PM
I for one am glad that women only pay the ideal of a "gentleman" as just lip service and go through the motions.

Sure, they ALL say they want a gentleman..some days it's true.

But, more often than not, they want someone who can make them laugh, feel apprecieated and end up with thier hair all messed up and needing to take a shower...

As far as I can see...todays "gentleman " is a guy who don't do anyone dirty.

no photo
Wed 06/20/12 04:05 PM



Gentleman really differs from girl to girl and what they define as a gentleman to them.

I call myself a gentleman because I'm old school. I open doors, walk on the side facing the street, pull out chairs, have manners and treat people with respect and dignity. I'm also abstinent till marriage and value emotional and spiritual intimacy to sexual.

Now to answer the question am I a non-sexual android? Heck no!!!! I just have self control theirs a major difference. Look at the fat guy who loves cheese burgers, then you see a skinny guy, does that immediately indicate he doesn't like cheese burgers? Know it just means he's not a fat *** and has some self control.

Sex is like other things, some people have no control of their bodies while others do. That doesn't mean the guys that do or girls are any less sexual.

Trust me, people who abstain are still extremely sexual, we just have some respect for the woman we are interested in.

Were also smart, we know that sex clouds judgement. Wed rather not go through a dozen break ups and end up with an STD before finding our true love. Instead we wait find our true love and go nuts!

Trust me in church their are a lot of really really sexual people. They just respected each other till marriage and their relationships last because of it!


So you believe that those who have sex don't have self control? And that those who abstain from sex have more respect for the women you're interested in? And because you have that self control and respect, it makes you a gentleman?


You took one single aspect and took it way out of context.
I did not say a gentleman abstains I said I do I specifically said Christian gentleman and not a normal gentleman. Difference a Christian gentleman is going to follow his spiritual beliefs as well as be a gentleman.

When I said a non-Christian gentleman I said he's not just going to bang a girl. He wants to respect her to make sure the timings right and that it means something. That is is special and intimate!

Do I believe those who are promiscuous lack self control? Of course I do if they didn't they wouldn't be banging everyone in sight.

Anyone who has had 12+ partners or such obviously lacks control that's not something that can be debated. A person who requires sex constantly doesn't have the self control to stop!

I'm sorry that's simply the definition of self control and yes I have self control. Do I disrespect people who don't? No more then the fat guy who keeps eating McDonald's and Burger King!

Its unhealthy its been proven both medically and psychologically damaging.

I have seen what it does to girls I know. As well as guys I know its destructive.

Even on this site we see pages upon pages about how destructive it is.

Girls getting screwed and dumped days later. Crying their ***** off but they go straight to the next guy who does the exact same thing. Why? If they realize that they get dumped all the time when the guy has sex with her, why does she keep going for the same sex crazed scum bag?

Same goes for a couple buddies of mine. They have no self control their blind. This one guy sleeps with often two to three women a month. Sometimes a couple a week, he's a player. But you know what he's hurting and always asks me why he cant find a women who loves him why he cant fall in love?

Well I personally know girls he destroyed who loved him, but he didn't have control over his dick!

So yes someone who is having sex constantly doesn't have the self control. It isn't healthy because they'll end up with STD's they'll end up with abortions or unwanted children. They'll end up 40 and single or married to some low life.

Sex isn't bad and in a loving and strong relationship it is vital.

But if your having sex 24/7 and your doing it with tons of people. You lack self control!

If your a girl who's constantly getting abused dumped and left on your own when you give it up. Stop going for someone who's going to give it up! Its as simple as that, show some restraint some.self control and find a guy worth giving it too!

Also yes a gentleman does give his girl sex, but not if it compromises her or your relationship with her.

If your going to have sex on your first date, your not a gentleman plain and simple. Third date and your still not really. You wait till the timing is right and you are respectful and are caring!


I actually asked you if those having sex lack self control. I didn't say anything about promiscuity.

So now we're on the subject of promiscuity and you've said those with 12+ partners lack self control. Why 12? What's special about that number that makes them worse than someone who has had 10 or 11 partners? Why do you think that having that number of partners means they require sex constantly and do not have the ability to stop? Do you think people are unable to have safe sex if they've had that many partners?

And then you go on about having sex 24/7. Man, you must know people with some stamina! laugh

Which date can you have sex and still be a gentleman? Why can't the timing be right on the first date? Or the third date? What makes the timing right? Do you think it's the same for everyone?

willing2's photo
Wed 06/20/12 05:29 PM
Edited by willing2 on Wed 06/20/12 05:30 PM


A gentleman is a dude that can hang out all day at the nudist camp without getting a woody?


drool Its the little things he does that shows he cares. love


You've been peeking!!:wink: smokin

TexasScoundrel's photo
Thu 06/21/12 03:41 AM
I strongly disagree with the idea that people that have had more than 12 sexual partners cannot control their sexuality. I'd had more than that before I turned 17. Now, I've been with over 100 sexual partners. I can go out most any night and find a new one if I want. But, most nights I'd rather stay in and relax. However, the choice is mine.

Sex doesn't cloud the mind when it's available freely. It's only when one cannot get it that it becomes a problem. Just like air, you never think about it until there isn't any. When you cannot get enough, you'll do almost anything for more.

It's people that abstain from sex that have issues. Like recovering alcoholics, just a little could be their downfall. Abstinence is an un-natural state and is therefore a perversion of nature.

MariahsFantasy's photo
Thu 06/21/12 11:01 AM



A gentleman is a dude that can hang out all day at the nudist camp without getting a woody?


drool Its the little things he does that shows he cares. love


You've been peeking!!:wink: smokin


Honey, I don't PEEK I am peeked AT. :wink:

no photo
Thu 06/21/12 11:04 AM

I strongly disagree with the idea that people that have had more than 12 sexual partners cannot control their sexuality. I'd had more than that before I turned 17. Now, I've been with over 100 sexual partners. I can go out most any night and find a new one if I want. But, most nights I'd rather stay in and relax. However, the choice is mine.

Sex doesn't cloud the mind when it's available freely. It's only when one cannot get it that it becomes a problem. Just like air, you never think about it until there isn't any. When you cannot get enough, you'll do almost anything for more.

It's people that abstain from sex that have issues. Like recovering alcoholics, just a little could be their downfall. Abstinence is an un-natural state and is therefore a perversion of nature.


Perhaps joelcool will tell us why he chose 12 as his magic number and his thoughts on it.

Kahurangi's photo
Thu 06/21/12 12:52 PM


Gentlemen became non existent the moment women discovered the meaning of patronize whoa



that comes down to context really




That comes down to my point of view actually, but by all means feel free to run with it :smile:

Dodo_David's photo
Thu 06/21/12 08:46 PM
I will say here what I say in the thread about the definition of a lady.

Originally, ladies and gentlemen were people who were members of aristocracy (a.k.a. gentry). Their upbringing was more refined than that of commoners. For example, sex outside of marriage was considered unbecoming of a lady or a gentleman.

[The late Scottish novelist George MacDonald described the lifestyle of gentry in his many novels.]

Abstinence is an un-natural state and is therefore a perversion of nature.

That claim is based on a particular standard of morality.
Not all men share that standard of morality.

dirtymindedgeek's photo
Thu 06/21/12 08:53 PM
It's a compound word derived from 2 separate words referring to "male" and "has money in his pocket"

TexasScoundrel's photo
Thu 06/21/12 09:42 PM
That claim is based on a particular standard of morality. Not all men share that standard of morality.


That claim is based on natural selection. A lifeform that chooses not to breed doesn't pass on it's gene and is left out of the gene pool. So, lifeforms with "low morals" will naturally dominate the landscape.

PacificStar48's photo
Thu 06/21/12 10:29 PM
Personally feel that the choice to have sex or not to have sex is more of a definition of a Gentleman/Lady when it includes mutual consent and actual some kind of personal relationship that makes the exchange more than just a physical act/releif or even procreation.

I really doubt if a person limits their sexual activity to a given number makes then more moral or more normal since the human gene pool is so large at this point and most people have rather interpreted versions of chastity.

A person could have none or only one partner and if it was without concern or regard for any one but self I would consider that as problematic as someone who says that they "care" about a multitude of partners. Neither ring true.

mrparadoxical's photo
Thu 06/21/12 11:36 PM
Christian gentleman, there is no such thing! Only fools that believe in voodoo.

TexasScoundrel's photo
Fri 06/22/12 08:20 AM
It's certainly true that women aren't treated very well in the Bible.

no photo
Sun 06/24/12 10:57 AM




Gentleman really differs from girl to girl and what they define as a gentleman to them.

I call myself a gentleman because I'm old school. I open doors, walk on the side facing the street, pull out chairs, have manners and treat people with respect and dignity. I'm also abstinent till marriage and value emotional and spiritual intimacy to sexual.

Now to answer the question am I a non-sexual android? Heck no!!!! I just have self control theirs a major difference. Look at the fat guy who loves cheese burgers, then you see a skinny guy, does that immediately indicate he doesn't like cheese burgers? Know it just means he's not a fat *** and has some self control.

Sex is like other things, some people have no control of their bodies while others do. That doesn't mean the guys that do or girls are any less sexual.

Trust me, people who abstain are still extremely sexual, we just have some respect for the woman we are interested in.

Were also smart, we know that sex clouds judgement. Wed rather not go through a dozen break ups and end up with an STD before finding our true love. Instead we wait find our true love and go nuts!

Trust me in church their are a lot of really really sexual people. They just respected each other till marriage and their relationships last because of it!


So you believe that those who have sex don't have self control? And that those who abstain from sex have more respect for the women you're interested in? And because you have that self control and respect, it makes you a gentleman?


You took one single aspect and took it way out of context.
I did not say a gentleman abstains I said I do I specifically said Christian gentleman and not a normal gentleman. Difference a Christian gentleman is going to follow his spiritual beliefs as well as be a gentleman.

When I said a non-Christian gentleman I said he's not just going to bang a girl. He wants to respect her to make sure the timings right and that it means something. That is is special and intimate!

Do I believe those who are promiscuous lack self control? Of course I do if they didn't they wouldn't be banging everyone in sight.

Anyone who has had 12+ partners or such obviously lacks control that's not something that can be debated. A person who requires sex constantly doesn't have the self control to stop!

I'm sorry that's simply the definition of self control and yes I have self control. Do I disrespect people who don't? No more then the fat guy who keeps eating McDonald's and Burger King!

Its unhealthy its been proven both medically and psychologically damaging.

I have seen what it does to girls I know. As well as guys I know its destructive.

Even on this site we see pages upon pages about how destructive it is.

Girls getting screwed and dumped days later. Crying their ***** off but they go straight to the next guy who does the exact same thing. Why? If they realize that they get dumped all the time when the guy has sex with her, why does she keep going for the same sex crazed scum bag?

Same goes for a couple buddies of mine. They have no self control their blind. This one guy sleeps with often two to three women a month. Sometimes a couple a week, he's a player. But you know what he's hurting and always asks me why he cant find a women who loves him why he cant fall in love?

Well I personally know girls he destroyed who loved him, but he didn't have control over his dick!

So yes someone who is having sex constantly doesn't have the self control. It isn't healthy because they'll end up with STD's they'll end up with abortions or unwanted children. They'll end up 40 and single or married to some low life.

Sex isn't bad and in a loving and strong relationship it is vital.

But if your having sex 24/7 and your doing it with tons of people. You lack self control!

If your a girl who's constantly getting abused dumped and left on your own when you give it up. Stop going for someone who's going to give it up! Its as simple as that, show some restraint some.self control and find a guy worth giving it too!

Also yes a gentleman does give his girl sex, but not if it compromises her or your relationship with her.

If your going to have sex on your first date, your not a gentleman plain and simple. Third date and your still not really. You wait till the timing is right and you are respectful and are caring!


I actually asked you if those having sex lack self control. I didn't say anything about promiscuity.

So now we're on the subject of promiscuity and you've said those with 12+ partners lack self control. Why 12? What's special about that number that makes them worse than someone who has had 10 or 11 partners? Why do you think that having that number of partners means they require sex constantly and do not have the ability to stop? Do you think people are unable to have safe sex if they've had that many partners?

And then you go on about having sex 24/7. Man, you must know people with some stamina! laugh

Which date can you have sex and still be a gentleman? Why can't the timing be right on the first date? Or the third date? What makes the timing right? Do you think it's the same for everyone?



I'm still curious as to what joelcool has to say about this.

TexasScoundrel's photo
Sun 06/24/12 01:23 PM
Edited by TexasScoundrel on Sun 06/24/12 01:25 PM
It seems he has come to the conclusion that discretion is the better part of valor and headed for the hills.

Doesn't seem gentlemanly to me though. Any thoughts?

no photo
Sun 06/24/12 01:43 PM
Some people don't like to be questioned on what they think. So, instead of responding, they'll just completely ignore any questions like those that have been asked of him.