Topic: What is a gentleman?
no photo
Tue 06/19/12 11:42 AM
How are you certain it's what they desire?

winterblue56's photo
Tue 06/19/12 01:12 PM
A Gentleman is a person that respects his Woman, Her Family, Her Friends, The Earth and Life in general. He stands beside her in-case she fails or falls...is there to pick her up. Opening doors and please and thank-you are a way of life for a Gentleman. The same applies for a Gentlewoman.

no photo
Tue 06/19/12 01:37 PM
A gentleman to me, is a man who says "Please" and "Thankyou" a lot. He doesn't have bad manners. He always respects his family at all times. He is curteous. Polite. Basically Prince William then. laugh

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Tue 06/19/12 01:37 PM
Edited by Rawrr_Girl on Tue 06/19/12 01:39 PM
Double postage :P oops

no photo
Tue 06/19/12 01:48 PM


Maybe they don't actually need it and can take care of themselves, but like having a man around to help take care of them?




no, i think that most men want a woman to stand by them, even when they are doing something obvious. I agree. I don't need defending. I can do that very well on my own. I'm no damsel in distress.

no photo
Tue 06/19/12 01:48 PM
Edited by Rawrr_Girl on Tue 06/19/12 01:50 PM
Apologies. My browser sometimes poststhings twice, when it's being an a**.

RainbowTrout's photo
Tue 06/19/12 02:09 PM

Gentleman; that word has been thrown around a lot the last few days in the dating & relationship forum. But, it's being used in a way I find unfamiliar. It seems a "gentleman" is supposed to be some kind of android devoid of sexual desires.

I've been around this forum long enough to know most women want a man to pursue them. To take the lead and make the first move. Yet still not desire her sexually?

Is a "gentleman" the same as a "real man"?

Please, give your definition.




Ok, my definition then would be what I have just been through by two women. I was trying to be a friend to both of them. One was already in a relationship with another man and tried to tempt me with sex. The second wasn't in a relationship and let me know that she really liked me. So in my mind I had to decide what was more important to me - sex or intimacy. It was a no win situation in a way but in another way it was a win win situation. I found out that I wasn't a real gentleman but both of them were real ladies. The one that wanted sex took the lead and the one that wanted intimacy let me take the lead. I was more honest to the one who gave me intimacy by telling her if I was a real man I would have told the other that our relationship was exclusive. I got kisses from both of them but had sex with neither. The one that wanted sex knew I desired her and the one that I chose because of intimacy knows that I desire her. They both now know that I have trouble with being honest. And both of them both now know that I was vulnerable. I now know both of them have fiery tempers. The one that wanted intimacy and gave it knew all about the one who wanted sex because of confidentiality through intimacy. She told me if I wanted the one who wanted sex that she could fix that for me since she could be a match maker. I have been trying hard to help her with all the panic attacks that I gave her. The one who wanted sex told me all that I had needed to do was be honest. So then I have discovered that I am not a real man either.

Jenknee's photo
Tue 06/19/12 02:28 PM
I have forgotten what gentlemen are because I never come across them. It is quite sad. I just hid my profile on a different singles site because after dealing with "characters" for 6 months, it has completely worn me down. Summer is just starting too :(

RainbowTrout's photo
Tue 06/19/12 02:31 PM
The one who wanted sex said I did the right thing because she was wanting her cake and to eat it, too. She says that she really loves her man and with the panic attack I gave her by choosing the other she tried tempting her man. It worked. He is getting Viagra now. :smile: I just hope he doesn't get a heart attack because she is real tempting.laugh She told me that the one who wanted intimacy can't have sex right now because the guy she had before really did a number on her head and body. I told the one who wanted sex that I bet she gets laid before I do. She laughed and agreed. laugh So my final conclusion is that masturbation is a virtue.rofl

MariahsFantasy's photo
Tue 06/19/12 02:33 PM






lol thats the point entirely. Women say they want something while deep down they want something else. To be a true Gentlemen you have to give women what they need not what they ask ;)


Can you give an example of what a woman may say they want and what they actually want deep down?


Well, a lot of women do say that they don't need a man to be their protector. But deep down, they truly want that. Not saying all women are like this, but there are those who are.


Wanting it is different than needing it, though. Maybe they don't actually need it and can take care of themselves, but like having a man around to help take care of them?


What is the stigma with a woman wanting someone to look out for them? We all desire this. Even a man does.


no, i think that most men want a woman to stand by them, even when they are doing something obviously dumb... anyone can help pay the bills, or do the dishes, but i think it is much deeper than that....


Well until men get over their fear of being trapped in their own feelings, they won't get that deep with a woman.

krupa's photo
Tue 06/19/12 04:03 PM
A gentleman doesn't blame his fart on his woman...he blames the dog.

A gentleman holds the door for a lady so he can get a good look at her butt.

A gentleman will serve a lady breakfast in bed...(throwing a box of Pop tarts at her and saying "Your money is on the nightstand...now get out"....technically counts)

A gentleman apologizes after sex...."sorry about that"....

A gentleman can convincingly pretend that he really liked that gawd awful chick flick he just suffered through just to spend some time with his broad.

A gentleman will sleep on the wet spot.

Amen

PacificStar48's photo
Tue 06/19/12 04:04 PM

Gentleman; that word has been thrown around a lot the last few days in the dating & relationship forum. But, it's being used in a way I find unfamiliar. It seems a "gentleman" is supposed to be some kind of android devoid of sexual desires.

I've been around this forum long enough to know most women want a man to pursue them. To take the lead and make the first move. Yet still not desire her sexually?

Is a "gentleman" the same as a "real man"?

Please, give your definition.




I can not speak for other's definition of a Gentleman but to me a gentleman is a Real Man with enough self control to put more than his own needs as a priority.

A gentleman would consider a lady a lady and treat her likewise with a reasonable amount of manners, consideration, responsibility, and above all else honesty wheather she "deserved" it or not. Mainly because his behavior reflects more on himself and his family than just his partner's behavior.

And that anytime he found himself in a relationship with someone unworthy of that level of quality treatment that he calmly and justifiably end the relationship. In my mind a gentleman is in no way a door mat, servant, slave, or parent.

I do think at times a Gentleman is a provider/protector in certain situations but it should be and equal exchange with a Lady fullfilling her role as helpmate and protector. In certain situations I think it is more than acceptable for a Lady to be the provider. A Gentleman is not simply a ATM with a certain type of anatomy for convienence and social standing but a person who should be appreciated.

I would absolutely NOT expect a Gentleman to be asexual. Any more than I would expect a normal healthy lady to be asexual. I do believe healthy adults have safe/responsible levels of intimacy when it is mutually acceptable and the privilege of their own independence.

A Gentleman does not entertain a personal life at the expense of "others"; especially supporting parents, siblings, or their children. If a Gentleman can't live independently, or at least sustain his private life under his own resources then I think he needs to refocus his priorities.

I can't say I see the casual sexual behavior I see in most media either gentlemanly (or ladylike) but personal choice is personal choice so what two consenting adults do is not my business. But I don't see men who have a string of intimate partners as a real Gentleman and consider them somewhat phoney at best and down right decietful at worst.

I would expect a Gentleman to be above trying to manipulate his way into sexual relations that his partner did not want/welcome or did not want at that stage of the relationship. I absolutely believe adults, even men, can and do exercise self control and resist temtation and compromiseing situations by choice all the time and can for realistic periods even do that with someone they are deeply attracted to physically and emotionally.

That said if a person can not in around a years time decide what he does or does not want and fully commit to monogomy, probably even marriage, then he is not a well developed adult and probably not a Gentleman.

Dating several people during the selection process seems normal to me but I personally would expect that a gentleman would restrain himself until he had decided to be monogomous with his choosen partner.

And at any such time as he felt that the relationship did not sustain monogomy to report that and vacate the relationship with very clear understandings that the relationship had changed.

I personally believe a real Gentleman is honest enough not to pretend to downgrade a romance to a friendship and parts company without animosity but with polite distance.

I do believe that a Gentlman, or a Lady, keep the private details learned in a relationship private. A gentleman does not kiss and or anything else and tell. Bragidocio is juvenile and and shows a serious lack of self respect. Whineing, suggesting untruths , or trying to shift blame after a relationship fails are not the hallmark of a Gentleman. A real Gentleman, or Lady, silently Moves on.

And a Gentleman does have the self confidence that he does not need to know the details of what is past witht he Lady in his life except as it might relate to his current health or responsibilities.

A Gentlman can, and does, accept that in real life some relationhips result in children and other familia relationships that must be respected graciously.

A Gentleman does not have to displace a family tie but he can and often will support and even suppliment one for the honor of the Lady or dependent family member he geniunely promises to care for. As will a Lady for a Gentleman. Both will understand this is a gradual process of choice and earned committment not and entitlement assumed because of the primary relationship.

Is a Gentleman a Real MAN? Absolutely! With all the normal feelings, rights, concerns, instincts, and yes sometimes mess ups that any normal person has. A Gentleman is not a Saint but he is a person that tries to be a credit to himself and his Gender.

no photo
Tue 06/19/12 06:03 PM
Well, for me, being a gentlemen means respect. Not just for your significant other, but for everyone and everything around you. It is realizing you are not the center of the universe and that others have emotions, feelings and needs as well. It is not the nice clothing, the good posture or the flowery words spoken, but the kind heart, the strong morals and the sincere meaning behind and underneath them all.

Holding doors, pulling chairs and covering puddles is all well and good, but anyone can do that these days. It is more than just holding a hand, it is holding a heart. It is not just saying I love you, it is I love us together. It is showing someone you care both in the little things and the big things and being there for both. It is believing in them, sharing with them and encouraging them, always.

You don't have to be a wuss as some may think to be a gentleman, you just have to be honorable, sincere and respectful in both words and deed.

Totage's photo
Tue 06/19/12 06:11 PM

Gentleman; that word has been thrown around a lot the last few days in the dating & relationship forum. But, it's being used in a way I find unfamiliar. It seems a "gentleman" is supposed to be some kind of android devoid of sexual desires.

I've been around this forum long enough to know most women want a man to pursue them. To take the lead and make the first move. Yet still not desire her sexually?

Is a "gentleman" the same as a "real man"?

Please, give your definition.




I think it's pretty common sense. I mean, you don't go around with your eyes popped out, jaw on the floor, and tongue hanging out. You don't go around grabbing strangers hoo hoos and what nots. It's more about respect.

Winx's photo
Tue 06/19/12 06:13 PM

Gentleman; that word has been thrown around a lot the last few days in the dating & relationship forum. But, it's being used in a way I find unfamiliar. It seems a "gentleman" is supposed to be some kind of android devoid of sexual desires.

I've been around this forum long enough to know most women want a man to pursue them. To take the lead and make the first move. Yet still not desire her sexually?

Is a "gentleman" the same as a "real man"?

Please, give your definition.




You're comparing apples and oranges.

wux's photo
Tue 06/19/12 09:58 PM

Gentleman; that word has been thrown around a lot the last few days in the dating & relationship forum. But, it's being used in a way I find unfamiliar. It seems a "gentleman" is supposed to be some kind of android devoid of sexual desires.

I've been around this forum long enough to know most women want a man to pursue them. To take the lead and make the first move. Yet still not desire her sexually?

Is a "gentleman" the same as a "real man"?

Please, give your definition.




A gentleman is full of manly desires. He is near the point of exploding with manly desires.

But he can control his desires. He behaves civilly. He shows no sign of his animalistic tendencies. He wraps it up in polite intercourse, and he approaches the ladies with respect and not with a dagger held staright out, like some rouges.

A gentleman will explode in the privacy of her bedchamber, and she will be the sole beneficiary of this bigger-than-life man getting the most pleasure out of being with her in the entire history of humans, in reality as much equally as in mythoses, legends, and holy scriptures. His pleasure of her will encompass, in no particular order, the physical, the mental, the emotional, the spiritual, the fiduciary, and the alphabetical. Oh, and also the ritual, and the nuptial.

THIS is what a gentleman are.

wux's photo
Tue 06/19/12 09:59 PM

A gentleman doesn't blame his fart on his woman...he blames the dog.

A gentleman holds the door for a lady so he can get a good look at her butt.

A gentleman will serve a lady breakfast in bed...(throwing a box of Pop tarts at her and saying "Your money is on the nightstand...now get out"....technically counts)

A gentleman apologizes after sex...."sorry about that"....

A gentleman can convincingly pretend that he really liked that gawd awful chick flick he just suffered through just to spend some time with his broad.

A gentleman will sleep on the wet spot.

Amen


Whoa, Kruppa, you're back!!!

Yay!! Hurray!!

wux's photo
Tue 06/19/12 10:04 PM


A gentleman doesn't blame his fart on his woman...he blames the dog.

A gentleman holds the door for a lady so he can get a good look at her butt.

A gentleman will serve a lady breakfast in bed...(throwing a box of Pop tarts at her and saying "Your money is on the nightstand...now get out"....technically counts)

A gentleman apologizes after sex...."sorry about that"....

A gentleman can convincingly pretend that he really liked that gawd awful chick flick he just suffered through just to spend some time with his broad.

A gentleman will sleep on the wet spot.

Amen


Whoa, Kruppa, you're back!!!

Yay!! Hurray!!


I DID notice in the last two days or so that Soupie here has posted very little. I just did not know what the reason was for that.

no photo
Tue 06/19/12 10:13 PM

A gentleman doesn't blame his fart on his woman...he blames the dog.

A gentleman holds the door for a lady so he can get a good look at her butt.

A gentleman will serve a lady breakfast in bed...(throwing a box of Pop tarts at her and saying "Your money is on the nightstand...now get out"....technically counts)

A gentleman apologizes after sex...."sorry about that"....

A gentleman can convincingly pretend that he really liked that gawd awful chick flick he just suffered through just to spend some time with his broad.

A gentleman will sleep on the wet spot.

Amen



rofl rofl rofl rofl

wux's photo
Tue 06/19/12 10:18 PM

rofl rofl rofl rofl


A gentleman is the cat's miau.