Topic: Honest question about sexuality, looking for empathetic advi
soulsearcher12's photo
Tue 07/03/12 12:34 AM
Hey! I am a baptized member of the Church of Christ and attend a Christian University and have found that I have been given the test of my life (literally). I am severely struggling to find the right direction! I am attracted to the same sex. For me, everyone has their own beliefs and morals and values and that is okay, I wish that I could change it, but I can't. Based on the way I was raised and rejection (intentional and unintentional) from all male role models in my life I yearn for love and acceptance from men (I have been going to counseling and this is where I am so far). I don't want sex, I just want love. I lack the manhood in my life.

My POINT is....

As a Christian what would you do? Imagine that whatever gender you are attracted to was wrong. Imagine trying to change what you are attracted to, changing the pleasure center of the brain, the chemicals that cause arousal, everything. It SUCKS.

What if I found a man that was also Christian, didn't want to have sex, just wanted someone to love also. No marriage, no sex. Just a life partner. How would this line up in your interpretation of what is BIBLICALLY acceptable?

Looking for an honest, sincere, empathic answer...

no photo
Tue 07/03/12 12:53 AM

I would follow my heart, but that's just me. I've never been one to seek the praises of other humans...

As for you, you seem to know the answer to your own question. My opinion should not matter, nor should anyone else's. Matters of the heart are best decided by the primary partie(s) so there are no regrets or no one to "blame" except yourself.

If you think your choices may be wrong, then repent.
The true meaning of repent is a change of thinking, something which is not always easy if you feel your thinking is correct.

soulsearcher12's photo
Tue 07/03/12 01:07 AM
Thanks! It's just scary. I really want to do the right thing. I can continue to reject my own thoughts, and feelings and somehow try and MAKE myself be attracted or live a celibate life and be happy in love. The problem is that being happy isn't always right. I just wish the answer would jump out at me haha. It would make life so much easier. Not to mention how hard it is going to be to find a guy who wants love and not sex! Lol

And then there is always the if you have to ask if it is wrong, then it probably is. So many options, so many answers, so much to think about

Elihu's photo
Tue 07/03/12 01:28 AM
Dear Brother,

Just because it feels natural doesn't make it right.

All of our sin is inherited, all the way from Adam and Eve. It is natural for us to sin.

More specifically we inherit the consequences of the sins of our forefathers to the third and fourth generation.

You have all the symptoms of an inherited spirit of homosexuality which you can be set free from in Jesus Name.

I have been involved in Holy Spirit Lead Prayer Ministry bringing inner healing to the heart and deliverance from evil for over twenty years so I have considerable experience on this matter.

Whilst the spirit may be inherited, it is highly possible that through love deprivation as a child you are left feeling desperate for the acceptance and love from men that you did not get from your father.

However the love deprivation came about, forgive those who were responsible and ask God to heal your heart in this area.

Seeking love and acceptance from men is not sin in itself, but sexual sin is nothing but the devils substitute for love.

God is not condemning you, He desires to see you free. But if you willfully yield to sin and welcome it in your life, the condemnation God has toward sin will become yours if you did not repent before you died.

Confess this attitude in your heart as sin, renounce it emphatically and then speak to that devil of homosexuality and tell it to go from you in Jesus name.

If you do not get through on your own, find some Spirit Filled Believers who know how to cast out devils and get their assistance. Ordinary counseling will not cut it, you need the Power of the Holy Spirit in Jesus name.

As for the advice to follow your heart, I could not agree with that at all. In our hearts are all manner of things that are not right in God's eyes. I could feel in my heart that some body should die, but should I go out and kill them. I could feel like doing all manner of sin, but I am not to be led by feelings, but by the Holy Spirit of God and He will not lead me to sin and God's Word tells us what sin is.

Certainly everybody has their own moral values. But it is not our values that count. It is what God says that counts. God gave us His laws in the Bible and we all like sheep have gone astray, each to his own ways.

Repent dear Brother and do not allow sin to reign in your body for you were bought with the precious Blood of Jesus that you might walk in Righteousness.

Avail yourself of His mercy and His grace and His Power to set you free.

Yours sincerely in Christ

Elihu

PS. If you need some more advice, feel free to contact me direct




no photo
Tue 07/03/12 01:47 AM
Edited by Peter_Pan69 on Tue 07/03/12 01:47 AM

...
As for the advice to follow your heart, I could not agree with that at all. In our hearts are all manner of things that are not right in God's eyes. I could feel in my heart that some body should die, but should I go out and kill them. I could feel like doing all manner of sin, but I am not to be led by feelings, but by the Holy Spirit of God and He will not lead me to sin and God's Word tells us what sin is.

Certainly everybody has their own moral values. But it is not our values that count. It is what God says that counts. God gave us His laws in the Bible and we all like sheep have gone astray, each to his own ways....





If you have feelings in your heart to kill or do anything else immoral than you need to repent. You should know that lusting after someone in your heart is equated to adultery, so wishing someone dead is just as bad if not worse.




Jeremiah 31:32-34
New International Version (NIV)

32 It will not be like the covenant
I made with their ancestors
when I took them by the hand
to lead them out of Egypt,
because they broke my covenant,
though I was a husband to them,”
declares the Lord.
33 “This is the covenant I will make with the people of Israel
after that time,” declares the Lord.
“I will put my law in their minds
and write it on their hearts.
I will be their God,
and they will be my people.
34 No longer will they teach their neighbor,
or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’
because they will all know me,
from the least of them to the greatest,”
declares the Lord.
“For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more.”




Hebrews 8:9-12
New International Version (NIV)

9 It will not be like the covenant
I made with their ancestors
when I took them by the hand
to lead them out of Egypt,
because they did not remain faithful to my covenant,
and I turned away from them,
declares the Lord.
10 This is the covenant I will establish with the people of Israel
after that time, declares the Lord.
I will put my laws in their minds
and write them on their hearts.
I will be their God,
and they will be my people.
11 No longer will they teach their neighbor,
or say to one another, ‘Know the Lord,’
because they will all know me,
from the least of them to the greatest.
12 For I will forgive their wickedness
and will remember their sins no more. ”


God's law is written on the hearts of all men...

Romans 2:28-29
New International Version (NIV)

28 A person is not a Jew who is one only outwardly, nor is circumcision merely outward and physical. 29 No, a person is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is circumcision of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the written code. Such a person’s praise is not from other people, but from God.

Derekkye's photo
Tue 07/03/12 04:06 AM

The commandment is to not lie/lay with mankind as with womankind - no sex. Your feelings can't be ignored, but your actions can be determined. It certainly seems like it could be a difficult test, but one that you can pass. Good luck.

Ladywind7's photo
Tue 07/03/12 04:08 AM
I believe you have not understood the context of what Elihu meant when he said 'kill'. That was just an example of what can be in our hearts, not what is in his heart.

Elihu's photo
Tue 07/03/12 05:16 AM
Edited by Elihu on Tue 07/03/12 05:23 AM
You have understood me well dear Ladywind.

However, it could be that Peterpan was not implying that I should repent, but that if someone identified with my example, they should repent.

At least I hope that is what he was thinking. But you may be right, perhaps we should wait for his comment.

LFA

TBRich's photo
Tue 07/03/12 06:06 AM

Does this help?


The Short Answer:
In Judaism homosexuality is an act, not a person1. The Torah2 prohibits the act, but it doesn’t ostracize the individual who desires it.

The Askmoses Answer:

Getting It Straight

There is much confusion when it comes to the issue of homosexuality and Judaism, not the least of which is the misconception that Judaism doesn’t like homosexuals.

For the record: Judaism has nothing against an individual who has an attraction to members of his/her gender.

The Torah doesn’t even recognize the term homosexual. Judaism sees people, not sexual labels. And all people are respected equally.

If you like lobsters you’re not a Homaridaevore, if you feel the need to eat on Yom Kippor you are not an Antiatonementour, and if you have a sexual urge towards a member of the same sex, you are not a Homosexual. You are simply a Jew.
And you, like all Jews, are prohibited from consuming lobster3, eating on Yom Kippur4, and having sex with a member of your own sex5.

It’s Not You…

In a secular society where there are just about no restrictions regarding sexual activity, one may find it discriminatory that sex between members of the same gender is singled out as the one to be frowned upon. Some will rationalize this difference, and others will argue there is no basis for this differentiation; either way, the question of ‘why are we singling out homosexual activity’ must be addressed.

For the record: Judaism has nothing against an individual who has an attraction to members of his/her gender.
This question, however, doesn’t pertain to Judaism.
In Judaism sexual activity is a highly controlled substance. It is complete with restrictions and guidelines to the extent that basically all sexual activity is forbidden, including masturbation. The only physical intimacy that is allowed is between husband and wife, and even that is forbidden for about two weeks out of every month.6

Granted, many people find it difficult to understand why they are prohibited from expressing their sexual urges. However, these restrictions are by no means targeted, personal, or discriminatory against one group of people.

…It’s He

The simple truth is the origins for the prohibition against physical intimacy between members of the same gender, like all other forms of sexual prohibitions, has nothing to do with the person, the people, or the society.

It has to do with G-d.

The Torah is as clear regarding this prohibition as it is regarding the prohibition against eating a hare. Does Judaism have anything against hares? Of course not, but G-d said it is not Kosher and hence we don’t eat it. Similarly, Judaism has nothing against the person who has a homosexual desire, but G-d instructed not to act upon that desire, so we don’t.

Executive Decision

People give all sorts of reasons why this type of act might be prohibited. But G-d in the Torah is as ambiguous regarding this law as He is regarding the prohibition against eating the hare. The Torah says don’t eat hare because you are Holy, and the Torah says don’t have sex with another man because it is an Abomination.

Holy and Abomination are very indistinct words.

Throughout the ages Jewish sages have offered various reasons for both of these commandments - some of those reasons may work for you, others may not - but at the end of the day it boils down to the fact that they are G-dly decrees.7

More Religious Than The Pope

Notwithstanding the Divine prohibition against this act, G-d did not single out this sin, nor did He decide to use sexual orientation as the characteristic to define who a person is.

TBRich's photo
Tue 07/03/12 06:54 AM
I also tried to post a short booklet I use in counseling, but it didn't take. You can Google it- What the Bible Says about Homosexuality by (gosh darn it- I forgot the lady's name!) try Eloise May. Take care of yourself.