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| Topic: Culture shock | |
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I'm living my long held dream of life on a tropical island.....and have been living in Bali Indonesia for three months now.
My problem is that lately every other day or so I seem to feel so overwhelmed with the difficulties involved with just living in a new culture that I find myself staying at home rather than getting out and about. I knew I would face many challenges coming here, but the one I didn't expect was loneliness , I'm lonely for female friends and lonely for someone to speak English with who can understand what I'm saying! Don't get me wrong ,the people here are very friendly and I have made some good local friends, but they are male and it's not quite the same as talking to a female friend. I'm also hampered by my inexperience at riding a scooter, sometimes I feel quite brave about riding in the Bali traffic and then other days I'm so frightened by it that I just can't go on the main roads, so then it is difficult to get anywhere and so I feel isolated. I know I'm sounding like a sook, but that's how I'm feeling. It would be great to hear from anyone else who has experienced this kind of situation, and how they overcame it, I'm actually getting to the point of thinking maybe I should just sell up and go back to Aussie . Any advice will be gratefully recieved |
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If you had a Significant Other to talk and share with, would you still feel the same way?
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Probably not,but I don't have a significant other
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Are there elligible men of your taste in your area?
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I'm living my long held dream of life on a tropical island.....and have been living in Bali Indonesia for three months now. My problem is that lately every other day or so I seem to feel so overwhelmed with the difficulties involved with just living in a new culture that I find myself staying at home rather than getting out and about. I knew I would face many challenges coming here, but the one I didn't expect was loneliness , I'm lonely for female friends and lonely for someone to speak English with who can understand what I'm saying! Don't get me wrong ,the people here are very friendly and I have made some good local friends, but they are male and it's not quite the same as talking to a female friend. I'm also hampered by my inexperience at riding a scooter, sometimes I feel quite brave about riding in the Bali traffic and then other days I'm so frightened by it that I just can't go on the main roads, so then it is difficult to get anywhere and so I feel isolated. I know I'm sounding like a sook, but that's how I'm feeling. It would be great to hear from anyone else who has experienced this kind of situation, and how they overcame it, I'm actually getting to the point of thinking maybe I should just sell up and go back to Aussie . Any advice will be gratefully recieved For what it is worth, there are Mingle2 members who are natives of Indonesia, and some of them can read and write in English. Have you talked to any of them? |
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Hi, Nessyk.. i would like you to know that i'm indonesian.you can contact me if you want a friend to talk to.i understand its a difficult traffic there,cause its not just in Bali,but also happened in most big city here.the key is don't be afraid,and they'll give way for you.welcome to indonesia and hope you can solve the problem soon..
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3 of my children just came home from a holiday in Bali with their Grandparents, they loved it, although they can all speak a fair amount of Indonesian as it's learnt in some schools here.
Have you though about meeting up with some Aussies from over there, I know there are heaps who travel back and forwards all the time, maybe you could find some of the places they hang out at. |
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I like Josie's idea. Maybe you can offer to be some kind of local
tour guide for Aussie's wanting to visit and have them stay near you. Then you could get paid a fee and assist them in getting around and it would be a nice service to the local economy also. You would make friends of the owners of good restaurants you could use for the visitors as well as cab/bus drivers etc. I don't know if your personality is suited to this but you would definitely have some friends to talk with and skype with when they are making arrangements and after they go back. Also, I would suggest trying to get involved with any other type of activity that the local women like on a regular basis once or twice a week and try to make some more female friends too! Good Luck. Give it a little more time and maybe it will work out yet.
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Hey, thanks everyone for taking the time to reply to me, all the ideas sound good and there are certainly some there that I hadn't thought of. So tomorrows another day.......
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Here are some scooter tips.
NEVER drink and drive. Take your scooter out in the country and practice turns tighter and tighter. A parking lot is great for practicing quick tight turns and dodges. Start slow and small and work your way up. You will need these skills a LOT in city traffic. Most accidents occur turning left (or right on English streets) where you have to cross oncoming traffic. Many cars are unaware of you. Keep that in mind. Try to ride next to other scooters. Numbers mean safety. You will learn to drive like a school of fish. If alone in traffic, beep your horn anytime you do anything like changing lanes or turning. It says "I am here". Wear as much protective clothing and equipment (like a helmet) as the heat allows. Keep good medical insurance. Good luck. |
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 Riding a scooter in Bali is not like anywhere else in the world. |
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You've moved into a completely different culture. Three months isn't that long of a time to learn a whole new way of living. Embrace the difference don't fight it. Get out and walk about. Meet people. Keep your eyes, ears, and mind open. Find somebody that can teach you enough of the local dialect to get along. Start with "please and
thank you". And learning numbers will help a lot. And like Josie said hook up with some other Aussie ex pats if you can. As for scooter riding, use taxis. |
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Wait a minute....Aussies don't speak English. Ya'll couldn't pronounce an "r" to save your life.
I speak Texan so I ain't saying it like a bad thing. :) |
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i don't have alot of advice here, but i just want to say, COOL!! i
have mad respect for someone who follows a dream and lives it and i wish i could do what you are doing. i hope hope hope you give it time and find your dream comes true!! 
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^^^^^....what she said
In addition, you had the courage to up an move to a whole different country that is so far removed from what you have grown up with!...what were you thinking!!?!!...lol...nah seriously, that takes some determination. So, you've arrived at your lifelong dream destination and now what? Here's what you do...gimme your addy in Bali and I'll come live there where the lifestyle is carefree and the beauty of the culture surrounds you daily. And you can move in my place in freezing cold Melbourne (although I'm not there @ the moment, because I'm busy thawing out in the top end) I know of a few ex pats now living on that tropical paradise, kiwis & Aussies alike...I'm sure that sooner or later you will hook up with some of them. Bali isn't that big after all. |
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3 of my children just came home from a holiday in Bali with their Grandparents, they loved it, although they can all speak a fair amount of Indonesian as it's learnt in some schools here. Have you though about meeting up with some Aussies from over there, I know there are heaps who travel back and forwards all the time, maybe you could find some of the places they hang out at. that new.. i just know if there is bahasa indonesia subject at schools in australia. nice to know 
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Riding a scooter in Bali is not like anywhere else in the world. i guess you been to Bali and experience it once.. It is crazy traffic here..
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Accomplishing a dream is sometimes stressful and moving to a new culture, no matter how wonderful, usually causes some anxiety once the honeyingmoon phase wears off so your reactions are normal.
If you are seeking female friendships it is probably going to be and advantage to take up and interests usually enjoyed by women. Needlework, jewlery work, choir, dance, book clubs, female dominated sports, Women's Build's @ Habitat, even school sororities, hospital volunteering, going to the beauty parlor, or even cosmetic sales. Making female friends in another culture you probably want to make a point of introduceing yourself and giving them a place to interact with you with out men present. If you have made friends easily with local men your reputation my have preeceeded you and back tracking may take a little diplomacy. Chat up women that you do meet. Have a business card made up and pass them out when you talk to someone and invite them to call. Chances are soon one will ask you to an activity. Hope this helps. Good luck. |
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3 of my children just came home from a holiday in Bali with their Grandparents, they loved it, although they can all speak a fair amount of Indonesian as it's learnt in some schools here. Have you though about meeting up with some Aussies from over there, I know there are heaps who travel back and forwards all the time, maybe you could find some of the places they hang out at. that new.. i just know if there is bahasa indonesia subject at schools in australia. nice to know My children started learning in Kinda, then they learnt japanese for 6 years, then went back to indonesian 3 years ago at their new school |
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Wait a minute....Aussies don't speak English. Ya'll couldn't pronounce an "r" to save your life. I speak Texan so I ain't saying it like a bad thing. :) Wat are ya talkin about, I speak properly.  Just wait till I come to Texas to teach you to talk. 
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