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| Topic: Perplexed about this... | |
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Is it possible to miss something that you've never had?
As I approach the two year anniversary of my Dad's death, I miss him like crazy. I loved him dearly, and he loved me. I completely understand missing him. I miss swimming in Lake Champlain. I have many fond memories of North Beach where I grew up. I miss running into old friends there, even seeing the spot where I gashed my foot wide open one summer. I get how I can miss that place. What I don't understand is how I can miss something I've never experienced, yet somehow I seem to even though that doesn't seem to make sense, logically speaking. Just makes me wonder... 
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We have needs and wants that don't depend on having had something in the past. A person who has never been touched will miss human touch. It's built into our DNA.
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Is it possible to miss something that you've never had? What I don't understand is how I can miss something I've never experienced, yet somehow I seem to even though that doesn't seem to make sense, logically speaking. Just makes me wonder... it's possible opossum. also possible to have something you'll never miss. our minds are beautifully made. the mind can bring back a whole string of memory long forgotten with just the slightest catalyst. it can also look forward to things yet to be (or fear them). even better when two minds are together. one can stimulate the other..."'member when" can be the start of an all night beer sippin', laughin', cryin' good time. the mind can also be a prison the best thing is that, with your mind, you can be with your dad anytime you want. i guarantee i guarantee that he may be gone, but he will never be forgotten. he will always live on in your mind, and better still, in your heart (bulldog double guarantee - patent pending) |
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Is it possible to miss something that you've never had? As I approach the two year anniversary of my Dad's death, I miss him like crazy. I loved him dearly, and he loved me. I completely understand missing him. I miss swimming in Lake Champlain. I have many fond memories of North Beach where I grew up. I miss running into old friends there, even seeing the spot where I gashed my foot wide open one summer. I get how I can miss that place. What I don't understand is how I can miss something I've never experienced, yet somehow I seem to even though that doesn't seem to make sense, logically speaking. Just makes me wonder... I dont understand what you 'didnt have' I dont think you can truly miss what you havent had,,,,,, |
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I dont understand what you 'didnt have' I dont think you can truly miss what you havent had,,,,,, She didn't tell us what she didn't have or is missing. She gave examples of things she misses that she understands missing. |
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Sure you can, I miss my mother but yet never had the pleasure of her being around.... I watched other kids growing up with theirs... Mine passed away when I was only a baby... But yet from pictures and what I was told about her only made me miss her more...
There are things in life even though we have not had them we miss the thought of not having them... 
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What I don't understand is how I can miss something I've never experienced, yet somehow I seem to even though that doesn't seem to make sense, logically speaking. Just makes me wonder... I dont understand what you 'didnt have' I dont think you can truly miss what you havent had,,,,,, she doesn't understand how never having experienced something can be missed. an opportunity not taken, or a place you've never been to. it's a longing some people have that their mind wanders to. a person "misses" these things (or longs for, if you will) sometimes it's not easy to express how you feel in person, and it can be even harder when you have to find the words and type them out. it is just as hard to catch what a writer is trying to express. sometimes if you read something more than once, or pause and reflect after reading each sentence, the writer's feeling comes through. of course your own understanding makes a huge difference on how you see what is written |
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Sure you can, I miss my mother but yet never had the pleasure of her being around.... I watched other kids growing up with theirs... Mine passed away when I was only a baby... But yet from pictures and what I was told about her only made me miss her more... There are things in life even though we have not had them we miss the thought of not having them... excellent example 
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We have needs and wants that don't depend on having had something in the past. A person who has never been touched will miss human touch. It's built into our DNA. Not sure I agree totally here. There was a case long ago, think it was somewhere in Russia if I recall correctly, where babies were placed in an orphanage and severely neglected. They were never held or touched. If your theory is correct than they would have been happy to be touched when they were finally discovered. This isn't what happened. They actually freaked out at first, flailing and crying as if in pain. They clearly didn't want to be touched. It wasn't until they had learned that it felt good that they then craved it. Which leads me to believe Ms. Harmony is correct, that you can't miss what you've never had. If you've never tasted coffee, you can't miss having it in the morning. Wanting something, needing something, is different than missing something. Funny thing is that I don't seem to want or need what I think I'm missing. I dunno... |
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Which leads me to believe Ms. Harmony is correct, that you can't miss what you've never had. And, yet....here you are missing something you've never had. |
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Sure you can, I miss my mother but yet never had the pleasure of her being around.... I watched other kids growing up with theirs... Mine passed away when I was only a baby... But yet from pictures and what I was told about her only made me miss her more... There are things in life even though we have not had them we miss the thought of not having them... This makes the most sense to me...that I miss the idea of what I think it would have been like to have had what I didn't. And it doesn't really matter to what I am referencing... I suppose it's a product of our imaginations...not necessarily a yearning but a feeling of being without that can account for missing what we haven't had. |
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Which leads me to believe Ms. Harmony is correct, that you can't miss what you've never had. And, yet....here you are missing something you've never had. And this is exactly why I am perplexed about this! 
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Probably not unlike love.
If you have not had it, your perception may be that you miss it. Expectations? |
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suspense is killing me...what is it that you are missing? |
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Well since I'm not thrilled about the idea of killing anyone Derekkye, I suppose it won't hurt to clarify.
Soufie nailed it. I always knew she was one smart cookie!  Love, or more accurately being IN LOVE with a man in the romantic sense. I've loved family and friends but that's different. I've loved a man but not had the feelings returned. I've felt loved by a man but I didn't share the same feelings for him. I've never loved a man that I felt loved by. I often feel like I've missed out on something special. I feel a sense of sadness when I think about what it might be like... Having said that, I'm not apt to think it's something I want and I definitely can't place it in the need column. I truly believe I'm the lone wolf type, not meant to experience it. That leaves me 'missing', for lack of a better word, what I haven't had and that just seems so incredulous to me. Clear as mud, right?! Now you know and I saved a life. Sweet! 
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Well since I'm not thrilled about the idea of killing anyone Derekkye, I suppose it won't hurt to clarify. Soufie nailed it. I always knew she was one smart cookie! Love, or more accurately being IN LOVE with a man in the romantic sense. I've loved family and friends but that's different. I've loved a man but not had the feelings returned. I've felt loved by a man but I didn't share the same feelings for him. I've never loved a man that I felt loved by. I often feel like I've missed out on something special. I feel a sense of sadness when I think about what it might be like... Having said that, I'm not apt to think it's something I want and I definitely can't place it in the need column. I truly believe I'm the lone wolf type, not meant to experience it. That leaves me 'missing', for lack of a better word, what I haven't had and that just seems so incredulous to me. Clear as mud, right?! Now you know and I saved a life. Sweet! You miss what you once had, but you crave what you never had. |
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Edited by
SGVtech
on
Fri 07/27/12 11:02 AM
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I think it is possible. I've had someone super deep into me, and I broke it off because I couldn't reciprocate honestly. I mean I would try to. Thinking everything is here I want, this will feel natural eventually.
It didn't. So.. from time to time I wonder(miss) what it would have been like to be able "click" both ways. Especially when I see other people who seem to have found it. I hear other people saying similar things. So I don't think its uncommon at all. As a matter of fact I miss my 75' sport-fisher motor yacht that I never had right now!!!! Damn it!  |
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You miss what you once had, but you crave what you never had. It's natural to miss things you've had that you no longer have...loved ones that have passed, nostalgic places or things that you remember, etc. But how do you miss what you haven't had, what you've never actually experienced? Craving doesn't really work either. I crave filet mignon because I know how fantastic it is! If I want it, I can have it. I think I miss the idea of being in love, of what I believe it would feel like although I can't actually know since I've never experienced it first hand. Just seems like one of those vicious cycle things...can't miss what I haven't had but yet not having had it makes me feel like I miss it! Holy crap...I just made myself dizzy!
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I think it is possible. I've had someone super deep into me, and I broke it off because I couldn't reciprocate honestly. I mean I would try to. Thinking everything is here I want, this will feel natural eventually. It didn't. So.. from time to time I wonder(miss) what it would have been like to be able "click" both ways. Especially when I see other people who seem to have found it. I hear other people saying similar things. So I don't think its uncommon at all. As a matter of fact I miss my 75' sport-fisher motor yacht that I never had right now!!!! Damn it! Ah, someone who kinda gets what I'm saying. Nice to know I'm not completely nuts! At least you could go buy a 75' sport-fisher motor yacht that you never had.  Pretty sure you can't buy love, or so they say... |
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I just made myself dizzy! Perhaps only a dizzy broad could possibly miss something that she has never had.
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