Topic: Why is it soooooo hard? =]
Cronows's photo
Mon 08/06/12 03:45 PM
Actually I just want to ask you all a simple question. Is it easy for you to find a man/woman you will really enjoy spending time together with?

As for me it is incredibly hard. I mean.. There are a lot of beautiful girls around, but when I get in touch closer with them I understand, that they are not girls I expect to see near me during all my life. They are not bad, just different. And only some of them have same world view as I have. Huh.. So hard to find someone who will be mentally close to you. Will have same aims in life as you have etc.

Am I the only with problem like that? Or do you feel smth like that too?

no photo
Mon 08/06/12 03:53 PM
That would have been a simple question, but you muddled it all up and then over complicated it and added some more to it.

The question: Is it easy for you to find a man/woman you will really enjoy spending time together with?

The Answer: Yes. Unless you saying you don't like anyone period. You don't need some sort of deep intimate connection with someone to go out and have a good time and enjoy some laughs or whatever.


The rest of it... pretty much all of us do. That is why most of us are here on a dating site for some reason or another.

krupa's photo
Mon 08/06/12 04:04 PM
This is simple...

if you want "Easy" with immedieate gratification...

order a pizza. You can get that love in 30 min. or it's free.

Real love is way more work than most panzies are willing to do.

Hell, most people gripe about putting in 40 hours for a regular job.

If you ain't willing to bleed, sweat and cry for the thing you want most....then ya don't want it bad enough.

Most people are lazy and just expect love to be served on a platter.

They will be the same ones here moaning about the same crap in two years.


TBRich's photo
Mon 08/06/12 04:14 PM
Meeting women- easy; meeting women you want to spend time with- hard

Sandelwood4's photo
Mon 08/06/12 04:22 PM
That’s because the variety of reasons why people want to be in a relationship is huge.
The variety of individuals is huge.
The preference of these individuals is just as varied.
Only a fraction of a huge population is on POF.
And last, only a fraction of this population on POF lives in your area.

Considering all these factors, the low success rate in finding someone who is a compatible match is extremely reasonable. The fact that you are not able to find your match shows that you know what you want and are not willing to settle for much less and that you are serious about it. That’s a good thing.

Sandelwood4's photo
Mon 08/06/12 06:02 PM

That’s because the variety of reasons why people want to be in a relationship is huge.
The variety of individuals is huge.
The preference of these individuals is just as varied.
Only a fraction of a huge population is on POF.
And last, only a fraction of this population on POF lives in your area.

Considering all these factors, the low success rate in finding someone who is a compatible match is extremely reasonable. The fact that you are not able to find your match shows that you know what you want and are not willing to settle for much less and that you are serious about it. That’s a good thing.


I meant to say Mingle, not POF. :) Ha-ha-ha.

Kahurangi's photo
Mon 08/06/12 06:09 PM

Meeting women- easy; meeting women you want to spend time with- hard


Is it a mindset thing? Kind of like losing a battle before it's been fought kind of mindset? "shrugs"...just a thought.

navygirl's photo
Mon 08/06/12 07:58 PM
Yes, its hard to find someone that I want to spend time with. Most guys my age are chauvanistic, old fashioned, and couch potatoes. Most of them are going through their midlife crisis and have the behaviour of a 16 year old. Thank goodness I just don't bother with dating anymore. Life is too short for the crap and I can have a great time doing things solo. :smile: :banana:

NEWAT52's photo
Mon 08/06/12 10:08 PM
flowerforyou
Hi All....I'm new on M2,
I'm in search of a taller man, living nearish Milwaukee, that doesn't necessarily act his age (I'm a Young 52). One that can laugh at himself/me without being vicious, enjoys all types of music, movies and food and isn't afraid of a woman that knows when to keep her opinions to herself but not afraid to speak her mind when appropriate.
I seem to be having "a time" on the site trying to get responses to my initial "Hi" etc emails.
I'm looking for "single" activities around town but most listed on sites are for the age group about 10-15 years younger.
Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm open to most anything. Hope everyone is finding their search alittle easier than me.
Drop me a note if you'd like to chat or with anything interesting, I'd really appreciate it!

P.S. Share your thoughts and prayers for the families of the Oak Creek victims!

NEWAT52

Jenknee's photo
Mon 08/06/12 11:18 PM
Cronows, you're only 21, hang in there, you'll find someone. It is when you're in your 40's when it starts getting nearly impossible!

Join a group, or several,..meet people with the same interests. Meetup dot com is a great site to look at for groups.

no photo
Tue 08/07/12 06:27 AM
Edited by rocket2d4 on Tue 08/07/12 07:21 AM
There'not one silver bullet.
I dont have a problem meeting women or dating them (in real life).

It's kind of like a mind set. If I get honest with myself,
I know Im not ready to settle down or make a long term committment
to any of the women Im dating or meeting at the moment.

It's kind of like a self fulfilling prophacy and law of attraction.
I creat my own reality more than I think i do.
Subconsiousely or consicously I draw these women(that's not ready
to settle down either)to me.

I dont mind meeting these women, at the moment. It's actaully what
I need to know at the core of my being and experince a lot of it.

Not all women are the same.
(After a LTR breake up, sometimes your mind gose into thinking
all women are just like your ex.)
More often than not, I'll meet women thats simular to my Ex.
I'll simply won't notice other women that's not the same as
my ex or not attracted to them. So for me it's still learning
or relearning process.

Sometimes I'll go through dating burnout and wish to just
be in a realtionship. The mental and emotional bonding...ect.
At the sametime, Ive been in LTR. I also know the pros and cons
of that too....
By default or by chioce, I'm Picky.
It's gonna take a lot of woman or a specail kind of woman for
me to be head Over Heels again.

At the sametime...Im not going to sit on the shore line and
miss the boat waiting for Mrs. Right to land on my lap either.

Going with the flow. Trying to be less resistance. Making it as
easy as I can myself. Being less judgemental of myself and others.
I enjoy These women's company. None of them are exactly the same.
I dont really have too much expectations from them for the most part.
Whatever my ideas of how things ought to be or should be...I've simply toss that out. They're all relaxed and easy going with me.
The fun factor varies from women to women and the situation.
It's all good.

It's easy If I believe it's easy.
It's easy for me to meet women. Women approach me or make themselves
avaliable to me all the time.

I really do need to change my mind set about realtionships being
hard or difficult. Lots of mental and emotional baggages I created
believing and living like that it the past.
I need to let go of old ideas and unworkable beliefs.

ezas123's photo
Tue 08/07/12 06:52 AM
nothing good is ever easy..

Teri11215's photo
Tue 08/07/12 01:30 PM
Your 21 years old! Why would you want to settle down now? Go out and sow your wild oats now, while your young enough to enjoy it. Don't you have friends to go out with, you know guy friends? If they have girlfriends perhaps their gf's have single girls. Get out and mingle, don't do it on a computer at your age. Good luck to you!

TBRich's photo
Tue 08/07/12 06:32 PM


Meeting women- easy; meeting women you want to spend time with- hard


Is it a mindset thing? Kind of like losing a battle before it's been fought kind of mindset? "shrugs"...just a thought.


Hmmm, a "battle" mind-set? I always looked at it as "game theory". A "win-win" approach, one where I often fail to see the "win" in it for me. I don't mean for that statement to sound rude or snotty. It is a "feeling" I need to have a "winner"

no photo
Tue 08/07/12 06:46 PM
Hi OP :) Hope I don't come across asbeing rude or anything, but I viewed yourprofile and your headline says 'Any bad girl here?', which is why I feel very confused by this question. Yet on this thread you claim you want a NICE girl. Are you sure you don't want to change your mind? Kidding. There's still time. I was just confused is all.

Jeley40's photo
Tue 08/07/12 08:40 PM

Yes, its hard to find someone that I want to spend time with. Most guys my age are chauvanistic, old fashioned, and couch potatoes. Most of them are going through their midlife crisis and have the behaviour of a 16 year old. Thank goodness I just don't bother with dating anymore. Life is too short for the crap and I can have a great time doing things solo. :smile: :banana:

Why do things solo when there are guys like me who want to have some fun and find the one they connect with in order to have a real relationship?

pyxxie13's photo
Tue 08/07/12 10:33 PM
Why would you want to date yourself? It is nice to have things in common here and there, however, everyone's individuality is what strikes an interest.
Good luck to you.

navygirl's photo
Tue 08/07/12 10:40 PM


Yes, its hard to find someone that I want to spend time with. Most guys my age are chauvanistic, old fashioned, and couch potatoes. Most of them are going through their midlife crisis and have the behaviour of a 16 year old. Thank goodness I just don't bother with dating anymore. Life is too short for the crap and I can have a great time doing things solo. :smile: :banana:

Why do things solo when there are guys like me who want to have some fun and find the one they connect with in order to have a real relationship?


I do things solo because of the reasons I mentioned.

Christinacospgs's photo
Wed 08/08/12 07:49 AM
I think it will come for you in time - remember that all relationships require work and sacrifice. If you aren't up to doing that with someone you are with, it's not the right person yet. When it is the right person, it won't feel like work. :wink: Someone is out there for you, don't worry! Be happy :smile:

a cheezy picture, just for you

no photo
Wed 08/08/12 10:58 AM

Actually I just want to ask you all a simple question. Is it easy for you to find a man/woman you will really enjoy spending time together with?

As for me it is incredibly hard. I mean.. There are a lot of beautiful girls around, but when I get in touch closer with them I understand, that they are not girls I expect to see near me during all my life. They are not bad, just different. And only some of them have same world view as I have. Huh.. So hard to find someone who will be mentally close to you. Will have same aims in life as you have etc.

Am I the only with problem like that? Or do you feel smth like that too?


If we were all the same life would be EXTREMELY boring.

Where's the fun in that?!