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| Topic: What about rebound? | |
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What about it......avoid it. Isolate yourself ...play the field..no answers..what do you think.
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I think a lot of people go through a rebound after a relationship has ended.. if that's what the person is going through, then it's nice to at least worn the other person that's involved.. rebounds don't usually last that long or turn into anything long term, from what I've noticed.. they usually end before there is an emotionally attachment between the two..
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Edited by
Duttoneer
on
Mon 01/28/13 01:46 AM
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I would not want to date someone who is on the rebound, too much emotional turmoil in my opinion. I would give them support as a friend and wait until things had settled down for them before asking for a date. When I have been on the rebound, I have not dated until I have recovered and felt ready to date again.
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I suppose they would be easy for someone who doesn't mind going from one relationship to the next, but I care more about doing what's right for me, when I break up with someone. Sleeping with a stranger has never been appealing to me. It wouldn't stop me feeling upset over the break up. It's pointless for me. I'd rather grieve for the break up, than wonder where the next guy is coming from.
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It's really hard to tell when someone is actually over their last relationship though. If she slags her ex off to you then you think, "Okay, she doesn't love him and she doesn't want him". This has happened to me more than once when I met women through dating services. They tell you that they are having arguments with their ex and alarm bells ring. This person isn't just on the rebound. They are still involved with somebody.
Even when the ex is out of the picture someone might not have got over their last relationship. I had finished with somebody three years ago but I didn't date or meet anyone else until recently. When I did meet someone I kept comparing her to my ex. Even if you are slagging off your ex to someone new that you have met it is like you are saying, "My ex did these things to me and I don't want you to do the same. She was like that and I don't want you to be like that with me". You may be trying to avoid the same problems that you had in a previous relationship but the whole talking about your ex thing is a minefield. Going on about what women have done to you tells them that you don't really trust women. If there isn't trust in a relationship it won't work. You may be able to build that trust when you meet someone and get to know them or you may not. That takes communication and honesty. The problem is that we are not always even honest with ourselves. |
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What about it......avoid it. Isolate yourself ...play the field..no answers..what do you think. don't date until you feel you can seriously offer all of yourself to the person you are or wish to date! Nothing wrong with getting to know people... make friends, just don't put yourself out there until you are ready! Because that wastes time and hurts people. |
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It's really hard to tell when someone is actually over their last relationship though. If she slags her ex off to you then you think, "Okay, she doesn't love him and she doesn't want him". This has happened to me more than once when I met women through dating services. They tell you that they are having arguments with their ex and alarm bells ring. This person isn't just on the rebound. They are still involved with somebody. Even when the ex is out of the picture someone might not have got over their last relationship. I had finished with somebody three years ago but I didn't date or meet anyone else until recently. When I did meet someone I kept comparing her to my ex. Even if you are slagging off your ex to someone new that you have met it is like you are saying, "My ex did these things to me and I don't want you to do the same. She was like that and I don't want you to be like that with me". You may be trying to avoid the same problems that you had in a previous relationship but the whole talking about your ex thing is a minefield. Going on about what women have done to you tells them that you don't really trust women. If there isn't trust in a relationship it won't work. You may be able to build that trust when you meet someone and get to know them or you may not. That takes communication and honesty. The problem is that we are not always even honest with ourselves. Wow.. I thought it was natural for people to talk about their ex.. I try my hardest to not bring it up but we still have to communicate with each other because we have a child together.. I do understand what you are say though.. |
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I think a lot of people go through a rebound after a relationship has ended.. if that's what the person is going through, then it's nice to at least worn the other person that's involved.. rebounds don't usually last that long or turn into anything long term, from what I've noticed.. they usually end before there is an emotionally attachment between the two.. Rebound dating can be fun but that's usually all that it is, is fun. Need to give yourself time to get over the old before beginning something new. Otherwise, you're only cheating yourself from having a true relationship with the new person. |
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I think a lot of people go through a rebound after a relationship has ended.. if that's what the person is going through, then it's nice to at least worn the other person that's involved.. rebounds don't usually last that long or turn into anything long term, from what I've noticed.. they usually end before there is an emotionally attachment between the two.. Rebound dating can be fun but that's usually all that it is, is fun. Need to give yourself time to get over the old before beginning something new. Otherwise, you're only cheating yourself from having a true relationship with the new person. Like I said, people are not even honest with themselves. They say that it's over and they may even say that they hate their ex and they may believe it and think that they want to meet someone new that isn't like him. Then we go back to the slagging off the ex thing. He's giving her grief she says and causing arguments. "I don't need that from you as well" she is saying. Well, at this point she's likely to treat you as a doormat and walk all over you if you don't stand up to her and tell her what you are and are not prepared to put up with. |
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If you talk about your ex as if to compare the present to the past then no thanks. You are still a prisoner of the past. If you are referring to the father/mother of you child then that is different. Compare me to YOUR wants, needs, and desires, not to what you got rid of.
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