100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: Do you believe in second chances? | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
I'm of the opinion that everyone needs a second chance once in a while. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone is tempted. Infidelity seems to be where a lot of people are drawing the line. I don't think that's a good place for it. I've never cheated on a lover, but I can see how, after a long time things could become routine and you might start to wonder if the grass is greener across the fence. You've forgotten why you were with him/her and you miss the excitement of discovering a new lover. You may discover that cheating was a mistake and you were really better off before. In this case, you'd come back with a deeper love and understanding for your old partner. Cheating is wrong, but people make mistakes and need forgiveness once in a while. You make vows. If your partner breaks a vow do you reply by breaking your vows? It doesn't add up to me. My mom and dad were married for 60 years. Back in the 70s my mom believed my dad cheated. My dad denied it. But, my mom never believed him. She didn't leave him, but she was angry for the next 20 years. She put him through hell, but they stayed together. One day she and I spoke about it. I told her that he was never going to admit he'd cheated and her anger wasn't hurting him any more, it was only hurting her. I told her it had been 20 years and it took less time for the world to forgive Germany for WWII. She forgot her anger after that and I think she began to see that even if he had made a mistake, he was still in love with her. He wanted to be with her. She died still in love with him. So, if you wonder why I'm so down on love and relationships, this is it. People don't make that kind of commitment to each other anymore. I want the kind of love my mom and dad had and I know I'll never find it. I've been reading your post more and more. At first on many of them it looks like there is a negative or maybe that "down" thing you talk about, but I have to say there is a lot of profound thought that has gone into your words and comments. The kind of comments that give a much bigger picture to the way and why's you think. Do you think women pick up on the "I want that kind of love" when they read your comments? Do women, when talking to you, pick up on your duality? I hope you see this as a positive observation cause it is. I try to be a realist. Women today aspire to be Kim Kardashian. They aren't interested in the kind of unconditional love I talked about above. I have no idea if women see that side of me or if they'd care or be interested. But, I think it's highly unlikely. I've heard women today talking about "starter husbands." Does that sound like they take love and commitment seriously? Or are they just in it for what they can grab? Find a guy, make him love you, have a kid or two and leave him with the highest alimony and child support payments your lawyer can get you while you're still young enough to party like a Kardashian. No thank you very much! I'll just stick to the sex and party like Charlie Sheen and we'll all take care of ourselves. Hi T But if you found true love to be "true" you would be able to make an amendment in your current "Charlie" movement and let this "true love" in right? Or is it really too late for you in your thinking? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm of the opinion that everyone needs a second chance once in a while. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone is tempted. Infidelity seems to be where a lot of people are drawing the line. I don't think that's a good place for it. I've never cheated on a lover, but I can see how, after a long time things could become routine and you might start to wonder if the grass is greener across the fence. You've forgotten why you were with him/her and you miss the excitement of discovering a new lover. You may discover that cheating was a mistake and you were really better off before. In this case, you'd come back with a deeper love and understanding for your old partner. Cheating is wrong, but people make mistakes and need forgiveness once in a while. You make vows. If your partner breaks a vow do you reply by breaking your vows? It doesn't add up to me. My mom and dad were married for 60 years. Back in the 70s my mom believed my dad cheated. My dad denied it. But, my mom never believed him. She didn't leave him, but she was angry for the next 20 years. She put him through hell, but they stayed together. One day she and I spoke about it. I told her that he was never going to admit he'd cheated and her anger wasn't hurting him any more, it was only hurting her. I told her it had been 20 years and it took less time for the world to forgive Germany for WWII. She forgot her anger after that and I think she began to see that even if he had made a mistake, he was still in love with her. He wanted to be with her. She died still in love with him. So, if you wonder why I'm so down on love and relationships, this is it. People don't make that kind of commitment to each other anymore. I want the kind of love my mom and dad had and I know I'll never find it. I've been reading your post more and more. At first on many of them it looks like there is a negative or maybe that "down" thing you talk about, but I have to say there is a lot of profound thought that has gone into your words and comments. The kind of comments that give a much bigger picture to the way and why's you think. Do you think women pick up on the "I want that kind of love" when they read your comments? Do women, when talking to you, pick up on your duality? I hope you see this as a positive observation cause it is. I try to be a realist. Women today aspire to be Kim Kardashian. They aren't interested in the kind of unconditional love I talked about above. I have no idea if women see that side of me or if they'd care or be interested. But, I think it's highly unlikely. I've heard women today talking about "starter husbands." Does that sound like they take love and commitment seriously? Or are they just in it for what they can grab? Find a guy, make him love you, have a kid or two and leave him with the highest alimony and child support payments your lawyer can get you while you're still young enough to party like a Kardashian. No thank you very much! I'll just stick to the sex and party like Charlie Sheen and we'll all take care of ourselves. Hi T But if you found true love to be "true" you would be able to make an amendment in your current "Charlie" movement and let this "true love" in right? Or is it really too late for you in your thinking? I have tried so many times and each time I'm disappointed. But, sure, I'd give it another shot. I guess I'm just stupid that way. But, this time I'd go into it wiser. Things would happen on my time and if she thought it was taking too long, she knows where the door is. And I have two very firm rules; 1) I'm not going to pay her bills and 2) no more children for me. I've reached a point in life that I must plan for my future. All my life I've danced and it's finally time to pay the band. Truthfully, I'm not sure there's going to be space (literally) in it for a full time, long term relationship. Because I've put myself in the position of retiring into a very limited lifestyle. I don't mind it. I'm a simple man with simple needs. But, there just aren't many women that feel the same way. Women dream of big houses, while I long for a tiny one like this;  |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Theres always a window though. Wow your woman to be will just adorn your tiny house. In fairness its cute.lol. About the topic for me it really depends. I can forgive but i will not give him a chance( boyfriend), if he cheats today he still can the next day. History will just repeat itself. About family we knew we are not perfect, if anyone of us commits mistake i can forgive and i would be willing to give them a chance. If i was the one who is subjected to be forgiven, uf given a chance i will take hold of the opportunity and win back their trust. I dont care if it takes time to gain it but i will not give up.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
yes, if i feel the person is true to their word. but, second and third chances, SSDD, not a chance. and i don't think i'm being stingymeister, lol.   not at all - something like second chances or additional "chances" is also going to be affected by the individual circumstances of the situation at hand - for me anyway I might give my son infinite chances to shoot 60% from the line but only 1 second chance to tell the truth about his homework (before being sent to the famous time out chair  ) just as kinda an example Second chances doesn't mean you trust the person but you give them a shot to redeem themselves. right on! Everybody loves that chance to get it right "this time" cruel and inhuman punishment to deny redemption, I agree! ( My sons could see the TV from the time out chair so I doubt it was overly harsh...lol) All my mom had to do was to threaten me with a pop on the rear to straighten me up. That was the only thing that would work on me. coke, pepsi, or Mtn Dew? Not that kind of pop, but a spanking. It was the only thing that would work on me. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Theres always a window though. Wow your woman to be will just adorn your tiny house. In fairness its cute.lol. About the topic for me it really depends. I can forgive but i will not give him a chance( boyfriend), if he cheats today he still can the next day. History will just repeat itself. About family we knew we are not perfect, if anyone of us commits mistake i can forgive and i would be willing to give them a chance. If i was the one who is subjected to be forgiven, uf given a chance i will take hold of the opportunity and win back their trust. I dont care if it takes time to gain it but i will not give up. Some couple have chosen to live in small homes. It is true the possibility that he cheated on you once, he can do it again. However if you never address the root of the problem, of course you have a greater risk of it happening again with the same guy or another. It seems that the main focus for many that this only implies if someone is cheating but that is not always the case for breakups, but let’s focus on it for a moment. It is foolish to think that all men cheat for the same reason and have no shame. True some guys like to play the field but some cases it is because the girl has hurt him first. Remember, that most guys normally not so out spoken about their feelings. When someone I care about hurts me I tend to become quite and drawn in. As I keep saying that rarely is one side innocent and the other guilty but in most case both sides are guilty of hurting the other. Even if you don’t give a second chance, you should owe it to yourself to least sit down and talk it out. If you only focus on the fruit of the problem and never the root, you will always have that problem. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Theres always a window though. Wow your woman to be will just adorn your tiny house. In fairness its cute.lol. About the topic for me it really depends. I can forgive but i will not give him a chance( boyfriend), if he cheats today he still can the next day. History will just repeat itself. About family we knew we are not perfect, if anyone of us commits mistake i can forgive and i would be willing to give them a chance. If i was the one who is subjected to be forgiven, uf given a chance i will take hold of the opportunity and win back their trust. I dont care if it takes time to gain it but i will not give up. Some couple have chosen to live in small homes. It is true the possibility that he cheated on you once, he can do it again. However if you never address the root of the problem, of course you have a greater risk of it happening again with the same guy or another. It seems that the main focus for many that this only implies if someone is cheating but that is not always the case for breakups, but let’s focus on it for a moment. It is foolish to think that all men cheat for the same reason and have no shame. True some guys like to play the field but some cases it is because the girl has hurt him first. Remember, that most guys normally not so out spoken about their feelings. When someone I care about hurts me I tend to become quite and drawn in. As I keep saying that rarely is one side innocent and the other guilty but in most case both sides are guilty of hurting the other. Even if you don’t give a second chance, you should owe it to yourself to least sit down and talk it out. If you only focus on the fruit of the problem and never the root, you will always have that problem. Now talking it out I will agree upon and I would even forgive the man but I wouldn't take him back to try again. I am friends with my ex-boyfriends and we still talk from time to time but no way would I try to re-kindle the relationship. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oyo I think u should b carefull about making bf
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oyo I think u should b carefull about making bf The other way around. I think they should be careful who they're dealing with. Not all can give you another chance. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
This thread needs a poll. I wonder how many of each gender believe in second chances and how many don't.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Start it metalshadow. There should be in between. Lol
|
|
|
|
|
|
Edited by
SimplicityAtItsBest
on
Wed 02/20/13 08:52 PM
|
|
Tiny homes require less upkeep and are quite desirable for those who want to live the simple life. Not a bad a idea.
No need to impress anybody with a big house, and like TexasScoundrel said, if the woman can't handle it, she knows where that door is. Lol. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tiny homes require less upkeep and are quite desirable for those who want to live the simple life. Not a bad a idea. No need to impress anybody with a big house, and like TexasScoundrel said, if the woman can't handle it, she knows where that door is. Lol. [/quote I do not like a big house either.i just want a simple home. Its hard to clean.lol. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Tiny homes require less upkeep and are quite desirable for those who want to live the simple life. Not a bad a idea. No need to impress anybody with a big house, and like TexasScoundrel said, if the woman can't handle it, she knows where that door is. Lol. [/quote I do not like a big house either.i just want a simple home. Its hard to clean.lol. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
If you have money for a big house, you might have enough to pay someone to clean the house.
But I would like to have a large enough house to where I have a game room and a project room with a shop attached to it. |
|
|
|
|
