Topic: Do you believe in second chances?
TexasScoundrel's photo
Tue 02/19/13 07:50 AM

Amen to that. Second chances are necessary because we all are human and therefore make mistakes sometimes. But one can only expect one second chance on the same mistake, thirds and forths...nada.:smile:


Absolutely. If your spouse has become promiscuous it's time to end it and move on. But, after you've both invested a number of years in a deep, loving relationship, I think it's a bad idea to throw the whole thing out the window for a single indiscretion.

no photo
Tue 02/19/13 07:57 AM
My parents told me that when I get married, never stop dating my wife. My dad still takes my mom out to eat and do things. It seem that when people get married they tend to get relaxed. After all, not too many men want their wives to walk around in a moo moo all day with bed hair. We want her to dress up nicely. Same with women don’t want their man to sit all day in a tee drinking beer, but take her out and treat her nice.

As my mema use to say, it takes two to tango. That is true in how well the relationship work. It takes two to make it better or worst. That’s why after a brake up I try to look back at not what my ex-GF did wrong but see if there was something I did and try to improve that area. It is easy to get mad for my ex-GF cheating and leading me on and say it all her fault but if I was not fulfilling my role, then I gave her the reason to seek another.

With the exception of a few people, most cheat because they are not receiving the attention they desire from their current partner. Now if a guy cheats on you cause you want to wait to have sex, then he is an idiot. However, if you been in a relationship for a while and he want to cuddle, maybe sex, and do stuff with you and you are ether working or too tired from work and want to sleep, he will start searching for another to meet his needs. Does not make it right that he does, but it happens. The same thing if a guy spends all day at work and comes home and goes to be not giving any attention to his wife. She too will start looking.

Guess the reason I am into second chances cause I know I am not perfect and make mistakes. I rather address the reason for the mistake and see if I can correct it. It is not about changing who I am but improving myself. Granted even with some of my ex-GF I do love, forgive and willing to give them a second chance, they will have to earn my trust back.

Ii maybe that I have too big of a heart. :tongue:

no photo
Tue 02/19/13 01:47 PM



"I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you."


this is what would deter me from continuing a relationship.. the fact that the trust would be gone.. however.. (responding to the OP..) a lot would depend on the gravity of the situation.. bottom line.. as stated above, if the trust is gone, there's no chance, at a second chance.. the relationship would simply be over ohwell

I agree with that in principle... and that's why I often quote him... however, being human myself, I understand that we're all very, very fallable... I make mistake and mistep everyday.
Things can change after such hurts.... I truly believe that and long to see it in folks... as long as there true intentions, amends and demonstrations of work to change.
We all fail... its what we do after we fail that impresses me most.
Old adage: (Q)"Why do we fall down? (A)So that we can learn how to get back up."

But peeps rarely want to work that hard.... "there's plenty of fish in the sea", right? Why work hard at repairing a relationship when you can dance on over to the next one....er, that's the attitude that I often see... not the one that I abide with.
Infact... the handfull of folks that have worked hard with me to repair broken fences have much more respect than those who don't/haven't... both forgiving me when I've been wrong and those that have worked hard when they've wronged me.

Those who don't even try... what's to say? I move on and quit hoping after a time. Disappointed all the while.


I too am fallible.. no one is perfect.. my motto has always been "3 strikes and yer out".. and I've "turned the other cheek" often enough to know it properly gets slapped too.. and usually harder! I'm not one that believes in disposable relationships either.. I'm in for the long haul.. but even after being cheated on and giving 2nd chances.. it typically ended with more deceit and cheating.. so I prefer just to walk away because I know I deserve better.. and some people simply refuse to accept responsibility for their actions OR change..

once I had a friend I'd know for 45 years.. THOUGHT she was my best friend only to find out it was all based on a lie.. but the last 5 years apparently.. I had proved I was worthy?? I'm sorry but.. some things are just UNforgivable..

happily it hasn't jaded me to the possibilities of finding a great guy to spend the rest of my life with.. there's still MUCH to do and see out there and I'd really rather have someone to share it all with.. but that's just the romantic in me :wink:

yellowrose10's photo
Tue 02/19/13 01:48 PM

Well for me sort of.... I dont want to hope that there were always be a second chance awaits for me every time i make a (bad) decision.


depends on the situation.

I can forgive but I don't forget easy. That doesn't mean remembering makes me throw it back in their face or hold a grudge. It's just something to learn from

no photo
Tue 02/19/13 02:40 PM
It always depend on the person or situation.. usually if someone hurts me i always give 2nd chance but my expectations are not as high as at first..

no photo
Tue 02/19/13 05:41 PM
I believe in second chances but sometimes its kinder and a lot more healthier not to give them

no photo
Tue 02/19/13 05:57 PM



Second chances can be good...Depends on the situation really, falling off a mountain I'm sure a second chance could be quite appealing.

Burning yourself up in a relationship? To just do it again?

Why the f* not; they say the second story is better than the first once in awhile, right?smokin
I know a guy that cheated on his wife. She did forgive him and took him back and he has been working on being a better husband and her, a better wife. Both sides have to be willing to work and talk things out together.


Yes, but your one friend accounts for less than .01% of the population...I'm talking about the rest of you.


:tongue: I have never had a wife


and YES to 2nd chances....life is too short to be a stingymeister

bastet126's photo
Tue 02/19/13 06:06 PM
yes, if i feel the person is true to their word. but, second and third chances, SSDD, not a chance.
and i don't think i'm being stingymeister, lol.

Teditis's photo
Tue 02/19/13 06:16 PM
But never when they promise to do one thing... and never intend to follow through.

Cheap talk reveals a darker soul.

bastet126's photo
Tue 02/19/13 06:20 PM
totally agree ^^. exactly what i was speaking of on their second and third chances, a person learns what burns
eventually. dark soul indeed.

no photo
Tue 02/19/13 06:24 PM

yes, if i feel the person is true to their word. but, second and third chances, SSDD, not a chance.
and i don't think i'm being stingymeister, lol.
laugh flowerforyou

not at all - something like second chances or additional "chances" is also going to be affected by the individual circumstances of the situation at hand - for me anyway

I might give my son infinite chances to shoot 60% from the line

but only 1 second chance to tell the truth about his homework (before being sent to the famous time out chair:tongue: )

just as kinda an example

bastet126's photo
Tue 02/19/13 06:33 PM


yes, if i feel the person is true to their word. but, second and third chances, SSDD, not a chance.
and i don't think i'm being stingymeister, lol.
laugh flowerforyou

not at all - something like second chances or additional "chances" is also going to be affected by the individual circumstances of the situation at hand - for me anyway

I might give my son infinite chances to shoot 60% from the line

but only 1 second chance to tell the truth about his homework (before being sent to the famous time out chair:tongue: )

just as kinda an example


awww sweetest, kids don't count!! laugh flowerforyou

no photo
Tue 02/19/13 06:34 PM


yes, if i feel the person is true to their word. but, second and third chances, SSDD, not a chance.
and i don't think i'm being stingymeister, lol.
laugh flowerforyou

not at all - something like second chances or additional "chances" is also going to be affected by the individual circumstances of the situation at hand - for me anyway

I might give my son infinite chances to shoot 60% from the line

but only 1 second chance to tell the truth about his homework (before being sent to the famous time out chair:tongue: )

just as kinda an example
I would have love to get the time out chair. I could day dream and not be interrupted. Sadly I did the rain dance around mom alot.

Second chances doesn't mean you trust the person but you give them a shot to redeem themselves.

Teditis's photo
Tue 02/19/13 06:34 PM
Edited by Teditis on Tue 02/19/13 06:44 PM
Social vampires either...



no photo
Tue 02/19/13 06:40 PM



yes, if i feel the person is true to their word. but, second and third chances, SSDD, not a chance.
and i don't think i'm being stingymeister, lol.
laugh flowerforyou

not at all - something like second chances or additional "chances" is also going to be affected by the individual circumstances of the situation at hand - for me anyway

I might give my son infinite chances to shoot 60% from the line

but only 1 second chance to tell the truth about his homework (before being sent to the famous time out chair:tongue: )

just as kinda an example


awww sweetest, kids don't count!! laugh flowerforyou


well my oldest son had a permanent butt print in the time out chair (much to his younger brother's delight)....lol) but he's turned out to be a wonderful young man.....so I guess the 2nd chances didn't hurt

with a boyfriend - I think it's a case by case. Ima little less apt to gp past the 2nd chance stage these days, admittedlyflowerforyou

no photo
Tue 02/19/13 06:42 PM



yes, if i feel the person is true to their word. but, second and third chances, SSDD, not a chance.
and i don't think i'm being stingymeister, lol.
laugh flowerforyou

not at all - something like second chances or additional "chances" is also going to be affected by the individual circumstances of the situation at hand - for me anyway

I might give my son infinite chances to shoot 60% from the line

but only 1 second chance to tell the truth about his homework (before being sent to the famous time out chair:tongue: )

just as kinda an example
I would have love to get the time out chair. I could day dream and not be interrupted. Sadly I did the rain dance around mom alot.

Second chances doesn't mean you trust the person but you give them a shot to redeem themselves.


right on! Everybody loves that chance to get it right "this time"

cruel and inhuman punishment to deny redemption, I agree!flowerforyou

( My sons could see the TV from the time out chair so I doubt it was overly harsh...lol)

no photo
Tue 02/19/13 06:43 PM

Social vampires either...

That post on this thread reminded me of the tv series Being Human

no photo
Tue 02/19/13 06:52 PM




yes, if i feel the person is true to their word. but, second and third chances, SSDD, not a chance.
and i don't think i'm being stingymeister, lol.
laugh flowerforyou

not at all - something like second chances or additional "chances" is also going to be affected by the individual circumstances of the situation at hand - for me anyway

I might give my son infinite chances to shoot 60% from the line

but only 1 second chance to tell the truth about his homework (before being sent to the famous time out chair:tongue: )

just as kinda an example
I would have love to get the time out chair. I could day dream and not be interrupted. Sadly I did the rain dance around mom alot.

Second chances doesn't mean you trust the person but you give them a shot to redeem themselves.


right on! Everybody loves that chance to get it right "this time"

cruel and inhuman punishment to deny redemption, I agree!flowerforyou

( My sons could see the TV from the time out chair so I doubt it was overly harsh...lol)
I do suspect their are a few duchess out there that don't deserve a second chance but for most people are not bad, just make dumb mistakes.

All my mom had to do was to threaten me with a pop on the rear to straighten me up. That was the only thing that would work on me.

no photo
Tue 02/19/13 06:55 PM





yes, if i feel the person is true to their word. but, second and third chances, SSDD, not a chance.
and i don't think i'm being stingymeister, lol.
laugh flowerforyou

not at all - something like second chances or additional "chances" is also going to be affected by the individual circumstances of the situation at hand - for me anyway

I might give my son infinite chances to shoot 60% from the line

but only 1 second chance to tell the truth about his homework (before being sent to the famous time out chair:tongue: )

just as kinda an example
I would have love to get the time out chair. I could day dream and not be interrupted. Sadly I did the rain dance around mom alot.

Second chances doesn't mean you trust the person but you give them a shot to redeem themselves.


right on! Everybody loves that chance to get it right "this time"

cruel and inhuman punishment to deny redemption, I agree!flowerforyou

( My sons could see the TV from the time out chair so I doubt it was overly harsh...lol)
I do suspect their are a few duchess out there that don't deserve a second chance but for most people are not bad, just make dumb mistakes.

All my mom had to do was to threaten me with a pop on the rear to straighten me up. That was the only thing that would work on me.


coke, pepsi, or Mtn Dew?

no photo
Wed 02/20/13 01:15 AM
If u don't gv a chance after 20years u ill regret lying in a hospital bedohwell