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Topic: Bridging the national divide
1Cynderella's photo
Sun 02/24/13 09:07 PM
How important is it to you that someone you’re dating know and appreciate the customs and language of your heritage?

If the relationship became serious, would it be important to you that they learn and practice your customs with you, or speak your native language with you?

no photo
Sun 02/24/13 10:17 PM
You're so right on target. The best way to appreciate your partner is making a conscious effort to knowing them inside out. Just my thoughts anyway.

navygirl's photo
Sun 02/24/13 10:44 PM
Edited by navygirl on Sun 02/24/13 10:44 PM
Not to me. My customs and heritage don't matter to me so it wouldn't matter to make someone else aware of them.

1Cynderella's photo
Sun 02/24/13 11:10 PM
Edited by 1Cynderella on Sun 02/24/13 11:11 PM
Thanks for playing guys. flowerforyou

I'm Bavarian, French and Scottish. Do you think it would be too much to ask of a man to learn to make chocolate, while singing in French to the tune of a bagpipe? :tongue:

It's not mandatory. But I really would like to see it. laugh

no photo
Sun 02/24/13 11:22 PM
Haaaaah,what a feat!
I come from Uganda-and my language(Luganda)isnt that difficult to learn,but,i dont mind if he learnt a few words-basics that is....as for the foods-tasting is a must,who knows,he might even like it!! I'd try the foods too. Language-greeting,directions,ordering food,and such...thats a must for me(if i dont speak that language already,that is)!
Make the effort,but no pressure...

Kaleijoscope's photo
Mon 02/25/13 12:06 AM
Even if im not dating someone foreign, i would learn the basic language and culture,, it's for survival,.and better understanding...

TawtStrat's photo
Mon 02/25/13 02:12 AM
Yeah, I think it would probably help if they could speak English.

As far as learning and practicing the customs of Scottish culture goes, well, it can actually be quite annoying when foreigners (especially the English) come here and start acting like they're suddenly authorities on Scottish culture and history. One time I was at this college where the dinner lady was this really tedious bore that had come here from England and she would just talk and talk and never really listened to what anybody else had to say. One day we were eating our lunch and she was talking about this house where she said that the last fishwife in Mussleburgh had lived. I said, "I thought that was you?" She didn't laugh and she probably wasn't even listening anyway, so I guess that she wasn't that into Scottish culture if she couldn't get into the banter and didn't apreciate the humour.

As far as kkilts and bagpipes and that sort of crap goes, it's for tourists and teuchters.


no photo
Mon 02/25/13 07:37 AM
Make your own heritage, or customs, or memories and traditions if you will. Remember the past, learn from their successes and failures. Celebrate that which made them great, not that which makes them old. If the "tradition" is worthy it will survive. If it is just a tradition then it will fade away.

Your partner's love will manifest itself naturally, why do you wish to put artificial hurdles in the way?

1Cynderella's photo
Mon 02/25/13 07:39 AM

Yeah, I think it would probably help if they could speak English.

As far as learning and practicing the customs of Scottish culture goes, well, it can actually be quite annoying when foreigners (especially the English) come here and start acting like they're suddenly authorities on Scottish culture and history. One time I was at this college where the dinner lady was this really tedious bore that had come here from England and she would just talk and talk and never really listened to what anybody else had to say. One day we were eating our lunch and she was talking about this house where she said that the last fishwife in Mussleburgh had lived. I said, "I thought that was you?" She didn't laugh and she probably wasn't even listening anyway, so I guess that she wasn't that into Scottish culture if she couldn't get into the banter and didn't apreciate the humour.

As far as kkilts and bagpipes and that sort of crap goes, it's for tourists and teuchters.



You would think humor the easiest language to learn. I may be in the blood though. I've never met a Scottsman who couldn't make me laugh. flowerforyou

As far as kilts and bagpipe crap...you'll find that American's with Scottish heritage cling to that stuff. I think it's typical in a melting pot society that has very short history of it's own to celebrate their deeper roots. That's my take on it anyway.


1Cynderella's photo
Mon 02/25/13 07:49 AM

Make your own heritage, or customs, or memories and traditions if you will. Remember the past, learn from their successes and failures. Celebrate that which made them great, not that which makes them old. If the "tradition" is worthy it will survive. If it is just a tradition then it will fade away.

Your partner's love will manifest itself naturally, why do you wish to put artificial hurdles in the way?

Great point!

But hypothetically...If I speak perfect English, but the rest of my family mostly speak French. It would be hard for my partner to fully enjoy my family. He would probably feel like an outsider at family functions if he does not learn French and might not want me to spend much time with my family because of that. I would want someone to join my family, not estrange me from them. Right?

1Cynderella's photo
Mon 02/25/13 07:51 AM

Even if im not dating someone foreign, i would learn the basic language and culture,, it's for survival,.and better understanding...

Nice attitude IMO! happy

oldsage's photo
Mon 02/25/13 07:53 AM


Make your own heritage, or customs, or memories and traditions if you will. Remember the past, learn from their successes and failures. Celebrate that which made them great, not that which makes them old. If the "tradition" is worthy it will survive. If it is just a tradition then it will fade away.

Your partner's love will manifest itself naturally, why do you wish to put artificial hurdles in the way?

Great point!

But hypothetically...If I speak perfect English, but the rest of my family mostly speak French. It would be hard for my partner to fully enjoy my family. He would probably feel like an outsider at family functions if he does not learn French and might not want me to spend much time with my family because of that. I would want someone to join my family, not estrange me from them. Right?


If you are important to him, that won't matter.

1Cynderella's photo
Mon 02/25/13 07:55 AM

You're so right on target. The best way to appreciate your partner is making a conscious effort to knowing them inside out. Just my thoughts anyway.

I like leaning everything about them and want to understand their family too. I think it comes with the territory and should be a learning experience not a stumbling block. Ideally anyway.

1Cynderella's photo
Mon 02/25/13 08:10 AM

Not to me. My customs and heritage don't matter to me so it wouldn't matter to make someone else aware of them.

I have no real affinity to any heritage either. I'm third generation American. I consider myself fluent in French...for a 5 year old. :tongue:

It's all kinda intermingled anyway. I always thought my Grandmother sang me Scottish lullabies, but when I grew up realized most of them were actually English. laugh


jacktrades's photo
Mon 02/25/13 08:18 AM
Edited by jacktrades on Mon 02/25/13 08:19 AM
I think its fun and a challenge at the same time. Learning new cultures, food, and traditions are fun and interesting however language would be a barrier for sure. If its was serious making a blend of yours and her culture would be fun. I believe love conquers all challenges.

oldhippie1952's photo
Mon 02/25/13 08:34 AM

Thanks for playing guys. flowerforyou

I'm Bavarian, French and Scottish. Do you think it would be too much to ask of a man to learn to make chocolate, while singing in French to the tune of a bagpipe? :tongue:

It's not mandatory. But I really would like to see it. laugh



Geez, that's too much! What if I just don't have flatulence in public? I can eat chocolate and say "Bonjour"...

1Cynderella's photo
Mon 02/25/13 08:55 AM

I think its fun and a challenge at the same time. Learning new cultures, food, and traditions are fun and interesting however language would be a barrier for sure. If its was serious making a blend of yours and her culture would be fun. I believe love conquers all challenges.

Isn't our elusive little friend, "Love", in and of itself, the ultimate challenge? laugh

Kennee77's photo
Mon 02/25/13 09:34 AM
Edited by Kennee77 on Mon 02/25/13 09:34 AM

How important is it to you that someone you’re dating know and appreciate the customs and language of your heritage?

If the relationship became serious, would it be important to you that they learn and practice your customs with you, or speak your native language with you?



Not of importance 2 Me

oldhippie1952's photo
Mon 02/25/13 10:02 AM

How important is it to you that someone you’re dating know and appreciate the customs and language of your heritage?

If the relationship became serious, would it be important to you that they learn and practice your customs with you, or speak your native language with you?



Since they will be living here I would want them to keep their customs/language alive as much as possible.

Right now I am about to buy the Rosetta stone for Spanish, due to the huge influx and bearing latinos are having on our country. So I think it equally important they learn English.

Kennee77's photo
Mon 02/25/13 10:23 AM


How important is it to you that someone you’re dating know and appreciate the customs and language of your heritage?

If the relationship became serious, would it be important to you that they learn and practice your customs with you, or speak your native language with you?



Since they will be living here I would want them to keep their customs/language alive as much as possible.

Right now I am about to buy the Rosetta stone for Spanish, due to the huge influx and bearing latinos are having on our country. So I think it equally important they learn English.


Yu two Must have been Communicating in English, I Presume. But if not, then Learning English is Necessary

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