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Topic: Wife Mistakes That Lead To Divorce
Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48926	Thu 05/30/13 12:30 PM Edited by Dodo_David on Thu 05/30/13 12:31 PM
YourTango.com has published an article by relationship coach Teresa Atkin titled "6 Mistakes Women Make That Lead To Divorce" Here are the six mistakes by women that Atkin mentions: 1. You talk to friends about the rotten thing you think your husband did to you. 2. You think that talking about these problems with your husband is the answer. 3. You believe that your happiness depends on your husband changing. 4. You live parallel lives. 5. You focus on what's wrong. 6. You utter these deadly words: "I deserve ... " I realize that women may want to talk about mistakes that men make, but that topic belongs on a different thread. So, please limit your comments to the topic stated in this post's title. You will have to read Atkin's article to know what she is talking about. Here is an excerpt: . . . most of us don't really understand how our conditioning and wiring as women differs from our husbands' conditioning and wiring as men. That's why conversations about men with female friends often lead to husband-bashing that helps nobody. FWIW, I am not saying that I agree with Atkin. I am merely starting a discussion for the purpose of having a discussion. Now, what say you about the topic?

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Thu 05/30/13 12:31 PM
They forgot women cheating.

Journeyman236 Joined Thu 05/09/13 Posts: 2786	Thu 05/30/13 12:34 PM
They forgot women cheating. That's a mistake the guy usually makes!

jacktrades Joined Tue 09/11/12 Posts: 4395	Thu 05/30/13 12:50 PM
I think divorce is a two way street. That list just could have easily been written about men.

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48926	Thu 05/30/13 12:51 PM
They forgot women cheating. That's a mistake the guy usually makes! Oh? I have known married women who cheated on their husbands.

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48926	Thu 05/30/13 12:52 PM
I think divorce is a two way street. That list just could have easily been written about men. Please try to stay on topic, which is about mistakes that wives make.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Thu 05/30/13 01:26 PM Edited by Jeanniebean on Thu 05/30/13 01:27 PM
4. You live parallel lives. The above is the husbands fault because the woman works at being what the husband demands her to be and then her other life is what she wants to be. The lesson here for husbands is... accept your wife for who she is and don't try to get her to live up to what you think her roll aught to be. And for wives... be yourself from the beginning. If he marries you, and tries to change you ... don't let that happen. If you do, you will have to lead "parallel lives." Be yourself, be true, and accept each other for who you are. Get to know each other.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Thu 05/30/13 01:30 PM Edited by Jeanniebean on Thu 05/30/13 01:30 PM
5. You focus on what's wrong. Really? The wives do that? Excuse me but I thought it was the husbands who did that. Case in point: After I got my divorce I discovered that I was perfect. There was no husband around to remind me of all my "faults" and I soon realized I didn't have any faults.

Dodo_David Joined Fri 08/13/10 Posts: 48926	Thu 05/30/13 01:33 PM
. . . I discovered that I was perfect.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Thu 05/30/13 01:34 PM
1. You talk to friends about the rotten thing you think your husband did to you. Did a man write this? If I have a black eye because my husband slugged me, any conversation about it is not about something "I thought" he did to me. One does not imagine a black eye, even though I have seen men try to convince people otherwise. Oh that's right, she ran into a door.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Thu 05/30/13 01:34 PM
. . . I discovered that I was perfect. Its true. And its a nice discovery.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Thu 05/30/13 01:37 PM
2. You think that talking about these problems with your husband is the answer. Any woman who thinks that talking about these problems..(BTW what problems are you referring to?).. anyway, as I was saying... any woman who thinks that talking to her husband will solve anything is not too bright.

Jennerling Joined Wed 10/14/09 Posts: 5492	Thu 05/30/13 01:43 PM
"Wife Mistakes That Lead To Divorce" Marrying him.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Thu 05/30/13 01:47 PM
6. You utter these deadly words: "I deserve ... " What is wrong with that? I deserve respect. Deal with it.

Jeanniebean Joined Wed 01/30/08 Posts: 40028	Thu 05/30/13 01:49 PM
Now, what say you about the topic? I think who ever wrote it is stupid.

TBRich Joined Fri 11/07/08 Posts: 8232	Thu 05/30/13 02:07 PM
YourTango.com has published an article by relationship coach Teresa Atkin titled "6 Mistakes Women Make That Lead To Divorce" Here are the six mistakes by women that Atkin mentions: 1. You talk to friends about the rotten thing you think your husband did to you. 2. You think that talking about these problems with your husband is the answer. 3. You believe that your happiness depends on your husband changing. 4. You live parallel lives. 5. You focus on what's wrong. 6. You utter these deadly words: "I deserve ... " I realize that women may want to talk about mistakes that men make, but that topic belongs on a different thread. So, please limit your comments to the topic stated in this post's title. You will have to read Atkin's article to know what she is talking about. Here is an excerpt: . . . most of us don't really understand how our conditioning and wiring as women differs from our husbands' conditioning and wiring as men. That's why conversations about men with female friends often lead to husband-bashing that helps nobody. FWIW, I am not saying that I agree with Atkin. I am merely starting a discussion for the purpose of having a discussion. Now, what say you about the topic? Yep

TawtStrat Joined Fri 11/16/12 Posts: 3581	Thu 05/30/13 02:33 PM
Oh? I have known married women who cheated on their husbands. Have you indeed? It's all coming out now.

singmesweet Joined Mon 07/28/08 Posts: 26661	Thu 05/30/13 02:57 PM
I realize you want to make this about women, but these are not mistakes that only women make. If they were mistakes that only women made, then maybe you could have separate topics, but really there is no need for separate topics. The same things would be repeated in both.

motowndowntown Joined Wed 11/19/08 Posts: 21442	Thu 05/30/13 04:03 PM
Oh boy!!!!!!!! Yet another man bashing/woman bashing thread. Yippee! Now where did I put that corn popper?

TawtStrat Joined Fri 11/16/12 Posts: 3581	Thu 05/30/13 04:20 PM
I realize you want to make this about women, but these are not mistakes that only women make. If they were mistakes that only women made, then maybe you could have separate topics, but really there is no need for separate topics. The same things would be repeated in both. Maybe the living seperate lives one but they do seem like the sorts of things that men complain that women do and women tend to complain that men do just the opposite and don't communicate, don't you think?