Topic: I found a poem my daugther wrote..
JUMPTFORJOY's photo
Wed 08/22/07 08:51 PM
about her dad...Not sure what to do. I almost want to show him, so maybe he can "fix" the problem. But I don't want to destroy my daughter's trust either. By the way, she's 14. What do you all suggest?

ShagnaC's photo
Wed 08/22/07 08:55 PM
I dont think it is our place as it does destroy the trust. if she wanted her dad to have it she would make sure he got it. I have a 14 year old also who has a lot of feelings towards what her father has done to her (walked out) due to being a addict, and her and I talk about it some, but it is for her to work that out with him, but she knows I am there to pick up the pieces.

JUMPTFORJOY's photo
Wed 08/22/07 08:57 PM
thanks! Problem is - she's convinced her dad loves her brother way more than her...that truly concerns me.

no photo
Wed 08/22/07 09:00 PM
:heart: Send a copy of it to her dad, and keep it put up for after 21 year old talks,lol
And NEVER lose her TRUST, just let her know how much you care about WHAT she wrote,(whatever) that might have been...
Now its LIVE,REAL,PAIN,,later in life you BOTH will "STILL" shade tears but also laughs about her thoughts....wink,.:wink:

catchme_ifucan's photo
Wed 08/22/07 09:05 PM
flowerforyou 14 is a hard age & they tend to write some scarry things.... Just chat with her some on it or around it anyways...
No It's not your place to send it to him & if he was around then maybe she wouldnt be having the feelings so its his loss.
Just be there for her..

whispertoascream's photo
Wed 08/22/07 09:17 PM
If she wanted anybody to see it I am sure she would of showen it to somebody. I sayrspect her privacy and just let it be. Poems can be a very personal thing. I think you should give it back to her and tell her that you read it and found it.

stevil342001's photo
Wed 08/22/07 09:18 PM
poetry is real i do write poems and they are from the heart i can realte to your childs pain i remmber those years of actually knowing my father cared more than my stepmother than his own kids...that pain is real

yummyishoney's photo
Wed 08/22/07 09:58 PM
It's so hard to grow up and get past the adolescence stage. Especially if you feel your parents don't love you even if you do all you can to show them sometimes the things parents try to do for their kids comes off as a negative thing to a young kid who doesn't quite understand it.

If it was me, I would sit down and discuss the poem with my child, maybe not go as far as showing her father but you can speak on his behalf and if she needs her father to show support and love or whatever it is she needs, then tell her he is there for her (if he is) otherwise just really open up to her and show her you are there for her.

Good luck with whatever you choose to do. I just remember how hard it was for me to grow up and how much I needed my momma and my dada.

countrybelle6471's photo
Wed 08/22/07 10:09 PM
HI well i think you should maybe have her dad talk to her if he will, without mention of the poem,that way no trust is broken,then you can kindly tell him what you feel or think the problem is.her thoughts should stay hers.and there some more perious years yet to come where turst is going to be very important!! good luckflowerforyou

hotandspicey's photo
Wed 08/22/07 11:11 PM
Put it back right now! That is her private way of venting things that she is feeling but doesn't want to share with anyone!

We as adults have all sorts of venting outlets but teenagers do not, so do not take this form of venting away from her and stop snooping!!
If you are going through her stuff to make sure she isn't doing drugs, give her a break and let her be present so she can take her private stuff and say please don't look at this mom it's private!!

no photo
Thu 08/23/07 12:58 AM
Its better if she fixed the problem herself. Writing is sometimes the best way to gather thoughts but if she found out you read it she might not want to tell you anything. She will when she is older talk to you about her problems. I was 5 when my mother and father split and it was rough. There were moments when I even had to vent with a pen with drawing and writing. Except I was smart and tossed it out :P. But me and my mom are closer than ever because she never snooped on me. If she did I probably wouldn't be as open with her as I am now.