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Topic: Would you holiday with a dating site member?
Duttoneer's photo
Tue 07/02/13 10:17 AM

You receive an email from a member living in another country, they are of the opposite sex and of a similar age to yourself, and viewing their photo and profile you find them not unattractive. They introduce themselves, and include some background about them and where they live, and suggest that this is a place where you would possibly enjoy a holiday. They have never visited your country, they would like to but costs of hotels, etc, make it all too expensive. They put forward the suggestion that you visit them in their home for two weeks with only food to buy, and you reciprocate by letting them stay in your home with you for two weeks later the same year. They are interested in you having read your profile, and they hope you can both get to know one another beforehand and during the holidays, but if nothing in the way of a romantic relationship developes perhaps you would at least be friends and enjoy each others company during the holidays spent in one anothers homes. They live alone and know from your profile that you live alone as well.

So, would you think this is a good idea and take up their offer, or would you feel that the risks involved are too high and decline, or just decline for other reasons? What would you do?

soufiehere's photo
Tue 07/02/13 10:29 AM
Noooooooooooooooooooo.
Risks too high.
Sounds like the sort of deal where they
would keep asking until they got a taker.

no photo
Tue 07/02/13 10:31 AM
I barely want people I know in my house.

Shy_Emo_chick's photo
Tue 07/02/13 10:42 AM
Depends who asks me. I won't go with just anyone. I've had a few scam e-mails in the past, suggesting the very thing you describe, so I'm wary of anyone who asks so soon without knowing me first. I already trust quite a few forum people here, like MG and others. More likely to accept it from forum peeps, or another user I'm familiar with. After all, some of us know each other well. You just have to keep a look out for dodgy invites. I won't rule it out :) I'd probably put myself up in a hotel while there, because I'd feel I was being a burden, even if they insisted I stay at their house while there.

no photo
Tue 07/02/13 11:27 AM
Would I take a vacation with someone I met from here? Perhaps if I got to know them pretty well.

Would I go to some random guy's house in another country? No.

jacktrades's photo
Tue 07/02/13 11:35 AM
I would need more time to get this know this person. Whats the rush sometimes things are not what they seem.

jacktrades's photo
Tue 07/02/13 11:38 AM
Edited by jacktrades on Tue 07/02/13 11:39 AM
o

ridewytepony's photo
Tue 07/02/13 01:32 PM

Oh yikes. No. Sounds like a scammer or worse.

Why not hang out online to beat the loneliness?

You can find someone, surely, in your own country that you bond with online. Sometimes a group of folks from here in different regions get together. That sounds cool. There's a thread of pics for folks who've met at get-together's or even dates.


If they were people I got to know from here then that could be cool but as for meeting woman from
country's that I want to visit, its risky+ I wouldn't want to start something or feel
obligated to a person that I haven't met..just all around, one could end up a target.

no photo
Tue 07/02/13 02:17 PM
No, not even for a moment!
From what many males have told me, there are too many women looking to find a "sugar daddy". Someone who will bring them here and support them and possibly marry them so they can stay here!
It may start out as pretty innocent and nice. Then you end up paying for more than groceries! The next thing you know you've got someone in your house and you can't remember how it got so complicated so fast!
So I say NO, absolutely not! flowerforyou

no photo
Tue 07/02/13 08:25 PM
Edited by sweetestgirl11 on Tue 07/02/13 08:27 PM
if he's cute and I have got to know him pretty well and he's single - completely single, and if it's not too expensive beyond my budget - in this country (US) and it's some place I'd want to go anyway - not in my home at first, no


maybe....he's gotta be cute :)

Duttoneer's photo
Wed 07/03/13 12:24 AM
Thank you all for your comments and advice. I did receive such an email when I was on another dating site, it was a few years ago now, from a lady who said she lived in Florida USA, I live in the UK. I did not take up the offer, just declined and said thanks but that I was looking for someone closer to home, which was true. If it was a scam I could not see it, but it did not progress beyond the first email so maybe we didn't reach the punch line. Were it to happen to me today, I think I would try and get to know them better before making any decision as many here have said, and you are right there is no rush, and the weather is a lot better in Florida! :smile:


no photo
Wed 07/03/13 01:11 AM

-----
yes..
unless its sounds too risky.
-----
no..
If ..if the offer is from completely unknown person.
_____




no photo
Wed 07/03/13 01:59 AM
Thanks Shy, you made my day :-)

I think long ago this type of thing was a lot more common or at least the fear level was not so high. The internet has changed everything. It makes it so people become more trustworthy and it also makes it easier for the villains of the world.

I use it to check people out daily because I need to give and receive services and goods so for me it has been a huge help to get to know people. But that's the key "getting to know" someone a little first before jumping too far into a visit. If you have that little weird feeling I would say no way.

Also I might add (always have something to add). If the person your talking to wants to meet see if you can set it up at a common meeting place. Like a resort or hotel. Always good to have your own space even if you are visiting.

I would say 25% of my time is visiting others and it use to be more like 80 and I don't think there are more bad people (in the right circles) out there, I think you just hear about it more.

Shy_Emo_chick's photo
Wed 07/03/13 06:24 AM

Thanks Shy, you made my day :-)


Cool MG :). I remember you. Sometimes we make ourselves more paranoid than is necessary. I understand being cautious, but if I wanted to freak myself out, I'd go ghost hunting. laugh. Paranoia is fed to us a bit too much these days. Especially on the news channels. But I know better than to let negative stories get to me. As long as you know someone properly first, then there's not much reason to get all scared about "What if's?".

Jtevans's photo
Wed 07/03/13 07:05 AM
i made a rule to only leave my house for dr visits and to buy groceries.so no i would not visit someone in another country

no photo
Wed 07/03/13 07:12 AM
Hell no! What if you get to their house and they hold you hostage for months or years. No way!

no photo
Wed 07/03/13 10:09 AM
Edited by Ouizee on Wed 07/03/13 10:10 AM

Thank you all for your comments and advice. I did receive such an email when I was on another dating site, it was a few years ago now, from a lady who said she lived in Florida USA, I live in the UK. I did not take up the offer, just declined and said thanks but that I was looking for someone closer to home, which was true. If it was a scam I could not see it, but it did not progress beyond the first email so maybe we didn't reach the punch line. Were it to happen to me today, I think I would try and get to know them better before making any decision as many here have said, and you are right there is no rush, and the weather is a lot better in Florida! :smile:


I think you have summarized it all very well - There is NO RUSH!!!
And if there is, my alarms would be going off!!!
Good luck Duttoneer - I wish you much love in your life! flowerforyou

oldhippie1952's photo
Wed 07/03/13 10:13 AM
I would do it when I felt comfortable about it. I know one woman in another country I would go to right now if I could.

no photo
Wed 07/03/13 10:16 AM

I would do it when I felt comfortable about it. I know one woman in another country I would go to right now if I could.

How long have you known her or chatted with her?
I think that would be the BIG difference!

oldhippie1952's photo
Wed 07/03/13 10:17 AM
We've teased each other for a year and feel comfortable with one another.

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