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Topic: Do Men Pull Their Weight
miko1960's photo
Mon 10/07/13 05:05 PM
Eh were all mamas boys in one way are another, yeah like I would go to my dad with personal problems, this would illicit the ever popular suck it up and be a man, but he was still a good dad, just a product of his generation, I was very fortunate to have been raised in a 2 parent house hold, not saying one parent can't raise children, but 2 is always better for the kids, by the way I just lost my dad 3 months ago at 95 yrs. He taught me so many things about what it was to be a man, my dad always said to me, it's not enough to be a man, but also a good man, stand up for what is right, never back away from adversary, if you start a task, complete it, do it well then move on to the next one, yes he was a very good dad in so many ways and I will always miss him.

navygirl's photo
Mon 10/07/13 05:24 PM
Edited by navygirl on Mon 10/07/13 05:35 PM
I agree that men are physically stronger but that doesn't necessarily make them better for the job. A lot of jobs require brains as well as brawn and believe me I have seen men do some stupid things. As for men being protectors; I find that a bit amusing. I dated men who said they would protect me but I had to protect myself from their abuse. With the laws in place; there is no reason to play the role of protector that will probably land you in jail. I like confident men but that one can be confident without being sexist or dominant. I prefer he respects me; rather than dominate me. Dominate equals being bossy which is a turn off. You say that is how we are wired; I prefer the term brainwashed.
I agree that a lot of women don't have the benefit of serving in the military but there are still very capable women.I see more and more women doing things for themselves that were traditionally a man's job. We have lots of workshops here for women (single and married) for home renos as they get tired of nagging their men to get anything done around the house. I served on combat ships and we found that the women had way more endurance than men. I have to say that surprised me. I think most men would be surprised of what a woman is capable of doing. I believe every woman needs to be self sufficient as with divorces, breakups etc; there is no guarantee that the man will be there for you. Incidentally; Miko I think most women already knew you were a chauvinist so you didn't really need to point it out. LOL

larsson71's photo
Mon 10/07/13 05:46 PM
Didn't see much endurance from my sons mum when she suddenly decided she didn't want to be a mother anymore and left me to bring him up from the age of 7 until he left home 6 months ago to work in London. Hes 22 now and his mum suddenly wants to know him again, but my son does'nt want to know her as she let him down time and time again. So I disagree with you on that one!

miko1960's photo
Mon 10/07/13 05:49 PM
Well it just so happens I have been in the security biz for over 30 yrs. and I have worked both civilian and government so I think I understand human nature a bit, we have many capable females in my field that are exceptional at their jobs, yet, when there is a choice between having a male officer or female officer for protection, a female will choose the male 9 out of 10 times, I agree this is not 1950, but instincts in the human animal die hard, oh and like I care about any opinion from an armed force that has it so easy, be a ground pounder, walk in my shoes, be shot at, knifed, assaulted which I have experienced all of these , talk is cheap Navy...

navygirl's photo
Mon 10/07/13 06:32 PM

Didn't see much endurance from my sons mum when she suddenly decided she didn't want to be a mother anymore and left me to bring him up from the age of 7 until he left home 6 months ago to work in London. Hes 22 now and his mum suddenly wants to know him again, but my son does'nt want to know her as she let him down time and time again. So I disagree with you on that one!


That is not endurance; that is abandonment and has nothing to do with what I said about working side by side with men.

navygirl's photo
Mon 10/07/13 06:43 PM
Edited by navygirl on Mon 10/07/13 06:51 PM

Well it just so happens I have been in the security biz for over 30 yrs. and I have worked both civilian and government so I think I understand human nature a bit, we have many capable females in my field that are exceptional at their jobs, yet, when there is a choice between having a male officer or female officer for protection, a female will choose the male 9 out of 10 times, I agree this is not 1950, but instincts in the human animal die hard, oh and like I care about any opinion from an armed force that has it so easy, be a ground pounder, walk in my shoes, be shot at, knifed, assaulted which I have experienced all of these , talk is cheap Navy...


Nope; I am just stating a fact based on personal experience so its not talk but obviously; you don't want to listen as you are stuck in the 50s mind set. I can tell you some horror stories about what I went through but this is not the place to discuss this. You don't know squat about me or my experiences and you are too closed minded to even listen. So, I won't waste anymore time arguing with you as I have nothing to prove to you. Also; if you want to insult me that is fine; but I don't appreciate you insulting my country as that is not only rude by very disrespectful. Your country is far from perfect.

larsson71's photo
Mon 10/07/13 06:51 PM
Bringing up a child is endurance, especially when you're holding down a job. My cousin was on HMS Ark Royal in the 70s and said life in the Navy wasn't a patch on the Army and the things they did. So im with Miko on this 1.

navygirl's photo
Mon 10/07/13 06:54 PM
Edited by navygirl on Mon 10/07/13 07:03 PM

Bringing up a child is endurance, especially when you're holding down a job. My cousin was on HMS Ark Royal in the 70s and said life in the Navy wasn't a patch on the Army and the things they did. So im with Miko on this 1.


Okay; I will play your silly game; child rearing is endurance. I know women that have worked two jobs and have raised kids so women do have endurance. I served with the army for 10 years and was in the military police before I transferred to the Navy. Whether its child rearing or military service; women do have endurance. People abandon their children for many reasons other than endurance. Also; many men abandon their children too but you seem to think that is alright as you didn't mention that.

miko1960's photo
Mon 10/07/13 07:09 PM
Edited by miko1960 on Mon 10/07/13 07:12 PM
Ok Navy I wasn't going to continue this and you are entitled to your opinion and I could tell of equal horror stories what some women have perpetrated on some of my male friends, it goes both ways, neither sex is perfect, but I digress, in what shape or form did I insult your country last I looked Canada and the US were not only neighbors but long time allies and friends, I have the greatest respect for our neighbors to the north, the little barb about your branch of service was uncalled for, there has always been a rivalry between our navy and marines here, so I guess that just slipped out, I guess without the Navy us marines would not have support or a ride, LOL, I apologize for that particular barb, but I stand behind what I have posted, most men are not lazy or evil or wife and girlfriend beaters, maybe you are just hanging with a crowd where these things occur, sometimes we have to look outside our own little bubble and see the world as a whole, it bodes none of us well to have prejudice against another cause of sex, race culture etc...

larsson71's photo
Mon 10/07/13 07:28 PM
I never abandoned my child. People can call or think what they want of me, but they can't call me a bad father, cos my son is my life and comes 1st in everything to me. I worked to make sure he never went without and I did a good job of raising him as hes a decent, polite and level-headed boy. So nobody is playing little games. Men who abandon their kids, I have no time for. Women who are left to raise kids on their own I have the utmost respect for. My cousin though was in the Royal Navy for 15 years and was in the Falklands war in 1982. He did say that the Navy wasn't as tough as life in the Army was though. Im only quoting him, ok?

Simonedemidova's photo
Mon 10/07/13 07:30 PM
I think a lot of men enjoy cooking.

larsson71's photo
Mon 10/07/13 07:40 PM
About 20 years ago I would've burned a sandwich and cremated a salad. Now, I can cook nearly anything Simone!

miko1960's photo
Mon 10/07/13 07:47 PM
Unless you've been a Marine you wouldn't understand, the kinship, the brotherhood, knowing in war are in peace you may be called upon to lay your life down, that is always in the back of every Marines mind, we don't rest even in peacetime, we are always on high alert, I was in one of the toughest Marine Recon, I could have choose any branch in which to serve, but I choose the Marines, yes I was a volunteer, I have nothing but the upmost respect for any veteran, be them male are female, but to me the Marines are special, first to fight first to die, I will always be very proud that I choose to be the best I could be for my country.

Semper Fi

dcastelmissy's photo
Mon 10/07/13 07:48 PM

I never abandoned my child. People can call or think what they want of me, but they can't call me a bad father, cos my son is my life and comes 1st in everything to me. I worked to make sure he never went without and I did a good job of raising him as hes a decent, polite and level-headed boy. So nobody is playing little games. Men who abandon their kids, I have no time for. Women who are left to raise kids on their own I have the utmost respect for. My cousin though was in the Royal Navy for 15 years and was in the Falklands war in 1982. He did say that the Navy wasn't as tough as life in the Army was though. Im only quoting him, ok?


Larsson I did the same and I raised 3 kids alone, it's is very difficult and brings all sorts of challenges, but whether it be the man or the woman that doesn't abandon their responsibilities, it clearly shows who the stronger person was! That one is indeed the strongest of the two! :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

larsson71's photo
Mon 10/07/13 07:58 PM
Thanks Missy! flowerforyou

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Tue 10/08/13 03:00 AM


I put up a smaller worktop to put the cooker on. Didn't like it either, gass, water and electricity in the wall and I didn't know where. Just guestimating. At some point I did hit one of the pipes. Not a clue which one, but I was not amused. Thx god no damage to the pipe. And let's say it was water, it wouldn't make a difference whether I create a fountain in the kitchen or a bloke. But at least if a bloke did it, I wouldn't have to panic, just rely on him to sort out the mess. :laughing:
Another thing that can really get me p*ss** off: I have limited tools. My ex had basically everything, from compressor, huge circular saw to every nut and bolt you can possibly need.
I ended up wanting to drill a hole in a plank, realizing I didn't have a single wood drill, slaphead Go to the DIY, get back home, drill the holes, next problem: don't have the right size screws.
And all the stuff you need to hump around in order to do some silly little thing.

I must say I got more respect for men doing the Bob the Builder bit.
If I can get the same respect from a Bob the Builder for me cooking and cleaning, we might be in business rofl
Crystal, im a 1st + 2nd fix Carpenter to trade. I'll do your worktops when im in Holland next month to see Celtic play Ajax in the Champions League? :smile:

I'll gladly hold you to that, Larsson!
flowerforyou

I agree that a lot of women don't have the benefit of serving in the military but there are still very capable women.I see more and more women doing things for themselves that were traditionally a man's job. We have lots of workshops here for women (single and married) for home renos as they get tired of nagging their men to get anything done around the house. I served on combat ships and we found that the women had way more endurance than men. I have to say that surprised me.

I read about this endurance bit over 15 years ago. As far as I understood it's not a personal opinion but a fact. Fact is, men in general are stronger, but when it comes to the crunch, women in general have more endurance.
The fact that a woman backs out of her responsibilities as a mum, doesn't change that fact. If you wanna stick to army terms, she's a deserter.
Can understand you don't think highly of her.
flowerforyou

Still think the answer is somewhere in the middle. In a way there's nothing wrong with the old-fashioned role patterns, other than the disrespect that enveloped mainly the woman's role.
I think the most important thing is having the choice to do what you want to do and what your good at.
As for the rest, help each other out with the chores that need to be done.
When my ex and I were renovating, he did the power tool and heavy stuff, I helped out with whatever I could do. We worked as a team, a good one at that. Meaning we both enjoyed doing it. Sometimes my knowledge and skills exceeded his (I grew up with a dad who did lots of renovating), we discussed plans and how-to's together. We basically complemented each other.
Unfortunately it stopped there, didn't extend to the household chores and cooking, which I got to do on my own. (And then he had the $&(##$)@$ audacity to complain I didn't put the garbage out)

But I think the general gist is: both doing what suits you best, so you complement each other and the chores neither like or are good at, should be divided.

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