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Topic: is it wise to go through your man's phone
peachy78's photo
Wed 10/23/13 09:42 AM
I don't care if someone goes through my phone/computer. I have nothing to hide. Only advice I can give is if you are going to snoop, be prepared to see/find things you aren't going to like.

no photo
Wed 10/23/13 09:59 AM
I have nothing to hide either, other than a few horror movies on my computer that may make them question my sanity.

BUT, it's still an invasion of privacy. And to me shows a lack of trust on their part.

no photo
Wed 10/23/13 10:26 AM
If you suspect your SO is up to something, the adult, respectful thing to do is ask them. And trust the answer they give you. Sneaking around, snooping through their things with the excuse that you don't trust them and you don't trust their answer is as bad as whatever you think they're doing.

If I was in a relationship with someone and found out they went through any of my private things, the relationship would be over. Period. It's not about having anything to hide, it's about having a right to privacy. Just because you're dating or whatever it doesn't give you the right to go through someone else's stuff. If the trust is shaky or broken or whatever, it's not worth sticking around for.

NLC24's photo
Wed 10/23/13 12:07 PM

Um, yeah, that's usually what happens when you violate someone's privacy....if you're with someone that you don't trust, you need to rethink your relationship, not go snooping through their things.



Preach! If you cannot trust your significant other enough NOT to snoop around for "evidence", the fundamentals of your relationship are nonexistent. It's as simple as this: if you trust him, don't do it. If you don't, talk to him. You should always look to better your relationship through communication.

no photo
Wed 10/23/13 12:54 PM
If you're in a relationship, it means you want to share your life with them... If you don't want anyone going through your stuff including your phone, stay single!

Just my opinionsmokin

no photo
Wed 10/23/13 01:00 PM
Might as well set up nanny cams too.

no photo
Wed 10/23/13 01:39 PM
Glad I can say with honesty that not everyone in a relationship is nosy and paranoid and violates the privacy of their partner. I guess I've been lucky enough to know a lot of stable, trusting, respectful people.

Just because you're in a relationship, that doesn't give you the right to view or handle everything they own, every human has a right to have things that no one sees but them. It doesn't mean they're "up to something" or "hiding something" or "not wanting to share their life with another person," it means they want something that's theirs, there is room for "couple stuff" and room for "individual stuff," to me, that is healthy.

Sort of like wanting alone time every so often, or wanting to pursue interests on your own, every so often. You can be in a relationship and have time for that person, and have time for yourself. The idea of being joined at the hip and everything you say or do is under scrutiny by someone else is creepy....personally, if I had a guy who was always underfoot and trying to see what I'm doing and who I'm talking to and didn't have at least a few interests of his own, I'd consider that to be co-dependent, and I'd rather be single than be involved with someone that literally "needs" another person.

JMO

4evababy's photo
Wed 10/23/13 01:45 PM
How do you think I found out my ex was cheating? Wasn't out of his mouth, out of his mouth came I'm faithful, your the only one that turns me on blah blah blah all the whole having his phone turned off while he was with me and so I checked on his phone and found a number and texted it it was a woman if your hiding women on your phone your sure as hell not faithful, creep

larsson71's photo
Wed 10/23/13 02:47 PM

How do you think I found out my ex was cheating? Wasn't out of his mouth, out of his mouth came I'm faithful, your the only one that turns me on blah blah blah all the whole having his phone turned off while he was with me and so I checked on his phone and found a number and texted it it was a woman if your hiding women on your phone your sure as hell not faithful, creep
Just for talking sake, say that you checked his phone and found nothing. What would you have done? Would you have left it at that, or would you have kept checking the phone at every given opportunity, hoping you would find something to incriminate him? Personally myself if I caught someone that kept violating my privacy, then they wouldn't be with me very long!

msharmony's photo
Wed 10/23/13 02:52 PM
depends upon the reason

if its just to be nosy,, due to loss of trust for instance, its not best at all...its more 'best' to ask him to show it to you when you communicate there is a lack of trust and address that issue first

if its that he is uncharacteristically late from someplace and you are genuinely concerned, trying to call contacts and friends to find him,, would be understandable

mightymoe's photo
Wed 10/23/13 03:07 PM

Now I regret I've seen things I shouldn't have,but what if its Gods way o opening my eyes


whatever, if you don't trust him, why are you with him?

joshuah84's photo
Wed 10/23/13 03:43 PM
I never none it to my ex but wish I would of cus he ended up cheating. N I think it should be OK cus they shouldn't have anything to hide.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Wed 10/23/13 03:51 PM
I could unlock my ex's phone, but didn't know what to do with it after that. He got himself one of them fancy phones well before most did. But he had two computers, a laptop, a notebook and god knows what else, in several rooms. I didn't trust him, but didn't stress myself out by going through his stuff either.
Been there too, but all it does, is give you an ulcer, a domestic and more lies.

no photo
Wed 10/23/13 06:44 PM
If its a relationship where you both have trust in each other. Go ahead. As of right now on my laptop and phone, along with tat artwork, I have memes, and a real talented cat that plays the piano.

If there is no trust and you have doubts. You should get the hell out the relationship.

navygirl's photo
Wed 10/23/13 09:32 PM
Just thinking aloud here but why would someone feel the need to go through someone's phone? Also, why does everyone assume that someone might be cheating in a relationship if they don't want you to go through their phone? Maybe the guy or gal are texting someone about personal problems. For example; maybe a girl is talking to another girl about girly problems. What guy wants to hear or read that? If you trust someone, why would you feel the need to go through their phone?

4evababy's photo
Wed 10/23/13 10:07 PM


How do you think I found out my ex was cheating? Wasn't out of his mouth, out of his mouth came I'm faithful, your the only one that turns me on blah blah blah all the whole having his phone turned off while he was with me and so I checked on his phone and found a number and texted it it was a woman if your hiding women on your phone your sure as hell not faithful, creep
Just for talking sake, say that you checked his phone and found nothing. What would you have done? Would you have left it at that, or would you have kept checking the phone at every given opportunity, hoping you would find something to incriminate him? Personally myself if I caught someone that kept violating my privacy, then they wouldn't be with me very long!


I checked it cause I knew without a doubt in my mind that he was hiding something, he's done it before as well, my fault for letting him get away with it once, 2nd time gone

no photo
Wed 10/23/13 10:50 PM
I think Lion and John nailed it.

I've had the honor of being one with my partners and think it would feel kinda odd or even disconnected if it wasn't the case.

PacificStar48's photo
Wed 10/23/13 11:20 PM
I feel like just dating I have no right to snoop through anything wheater it is phone, mail, or other ways to find out more than basic verification of what someone has told me. Example someone tells me their name, address, age I may verify they are legit but after that it is up to them to earn my trust and confidence in them by introducing me to significant people in their life and showing me things that back up what they say.

If I am Moving into a courtship with someone and they are holding back and doing things that kick off my "jerk radar" rather than snooping I am probably just going to drop them like a hot rock. Rather than waste my energy listening to denials and explanations that insult my intelligence I would rather cut my losses and move forward with someone that makes me feel they deserve my trust.

Doesn't mean I have to know every little thing that goes on between them and friends, family, personal thoughts, and so on but if someone doesn't trust me to tell me stuff I am not going to feel much intimacy with them.

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